Attraction In Relationships And Marriage. As a single, you don’t want to spiritualize everything and say attraction doesn’t matter! It matters a lot!
Marry somebody you like and you love, a friend you can play with and laugh with. That is why the scripture says, “…rejoice with the wife of thy youth.“
You also need to know that God will not force anybody on you. This idea that you are marrying somebody not because you love the person but because God said so is defective.
As a lady, when a guy walks up to you and tells you that God has spoken to Him, you also need to hear God as well.
The other day, a guy who is the president of his fellowship proposed to a lady within the fellowship this way:
“Young lady, God has spoken to me. Thus saith the Spirit of God, you are my wife. I will like you to cooperate with God’s voice. You don’t need to pray again because God has spoken to me. It is wise to listen to God lest one is faced with His wrath.”
That is nothing more than intimidation, manipulation, and witchcraft!
The scripture clearly identifies the importance of physical attraction when it comes to marriage. God in His wisdom knows that if a man does not derive satisfaction from his wife, he would seek it elsewhere, which of course will not only be detrimental to him but to his whole family.
Have you noticed that when a man commits adultery, the whole family suffers the consequences?
So, God advises man:
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings (Proverbs 5:18-21 KJV)
In other words, what God wants is that you focus on your wife and not somebody out there. He said all your ways are before Him and He will inquire about everything you do. More or less, the affair that you think is secret is actually open to God.
Now, we have established that physical attraction is very important! But there is a balance! Physical attraction alone is not the only thing that determines your choice! See the scripture:
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 KJV)
Message Translation says: Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear–of– God. (Proverbs 31:30 Message)
So we see here, the only thing shouldn’t be outward beauty, but also inner beauty. It is okay if she has hot legs, but her heart must also be hot for God! A hot leg without a hot heart will get your hands burnt at the end.
So in a man or in a woman, I should have an attraction for him or her, while he or she must have an attraction for God.
Attraction In Relationships And Marriage is very important!
Be patient and wait for the salvation of God in your marriage. If you are already married, stay focused on your spouse!
May God help us all.
CONFESSION I am a child of God. I am beautiful
PRAYER Pray that God will be your wisdom and strength
THOUGHT A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it (Proverbs 31:10-11 Message)
Two Things You Shouldn’t Ask A Lady Firstly, do not ask her to stay over before the wedding. Secondly, do not ask her for money repeatedly. In every kingdom, there are lifestyles and there are ethics that go with them When you adhere to these ethics, you don’t get into trouble. When you flout them, there will be consequences. It is the same way in the scriptures.
Here are Two Things You Shouldn’t Ask A Lady
1. Do not ask her to stay over before the wedding
When you have a relationship with a lady, either dating or in courtship, you should not put pressure on her to come and pass the night in your place. You are meant to “leave” before you “cleave, ” but when you invite her over, you are trying to “cleave” without “leaving.” That is the wrong order. Destinies will be clipped when you cleave before you leave.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 KJV)
When you go over to pass the night in his place, it is like trapping yourself. You are on his territory and anything can happen. Amnon couldn’t carry out his lustful thoughts on Tamar, but the moment she was in his room, the equation changed. He bolted the door and raped her!
When you are in a guy’s house you are not married to, the stage is set for compromise and because of the way a man’s body is wired, something will usually happen.
What if nothing happens? Are the angels clapping for you? I doubt! You have misrepresented Christ in a way, and you are passing the wrong message across. Your life is meant to be an example. Your lifestyle is meant to be a living gospel, so you need to be careful of how you behave.
On the other hand in marriage and for couples. do not stay outside your matrimonial home because of some quarrels. Do not ask your wife to leave the house because of some little provocation.
“I will send you back to your father’s house!”
That is a statement or thought you should not dance with under any circumstance!
Taking it further, do not leave your bedroom and go spend the night elsewhere. Stay in your bedroom regardless of what is happening. Resolve it rather than prolonging it.
Two Things You Shouldn’t Ask A Lady 2. Do not ask her for money repeatedly
There is nothing wrong in giving your fiance money if he is not financially disposed like you and you are in a position to help, but it is quite wrong to ask for money from her every other opportunity.
In fact, you may be seen as a leech at the end of the day who is only trying to manipulate the emotions of ladies to get what you want. This even becomes more intense when the relationship doesn’t end in a marriage. The lady will feel used and will end up hurt.
It is also not good for a man to keep borrowing money he has no intention of returning. That bothers on integrity and insincerity. It doesn’t matter if you are born again. There is nothing like holy fraud. Fraud is fraud!
It is also very wrong to keep collecting money from someone you intend to dump later. Life is about seed, time, and harvest and you don’t want to be sowing that kind of seed into your future.
It is the height of irresponsibility, for a man to ask all the time without reciprocating. If she gives you out of love, it is okay, if you ask her once out of a blue moon to sort something urgently, it is okay, but when you ask every other time and come up with one story or the other, it is not healthy for both of you!
On the other hand, in marriage, do not allow your wife to ask for money all the time before you make it available. There is nothing like “my money” again in marriage. The money belongs to both of you and it should be seen that way, irrespective of who is making it or making the most.
Never use money to control each other in your marriage. Do not give access to mammon spirit in your home. If you try to control her with money, she may end up trying to make “her own money” in desperate ways, which of course might be counterproductive to the marriage and the home. These are the Two Things You Shouldn’t Ask A Lady.
CONFESSION I have God’s wisdom in my relationship/marriage
PRAYER Lord, grant me more wisdom and grace in my relationship/marriage
THOUGHT Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN Have a discussion with your loved one if there is need to make amends.
Climb Her Not, Spread Not The Legs. One of the greatest deception tools that the devil has thrown to this generation is that a combination of unrepentant habitual sinful lifestyle and service unto God is cool.
Listen to me, this will never work. It doesn’t matter how anointed you think you are, let’s even say you have raised the dead, and you can go into trances at will, if you are living in habitual sin, it would be like a man sitting on a rocking chair, there is movement but there is no progress. There is sweat, but nothing to show for it. There is drama, but no reward from God.
For young men and ladies, NYSC members, and young adults who are serving in some capacity as an executive or leader, stay away from compromise. Don’t use your trusted position to defile people you are meant to oversee spiritually.
My goal this morning, is not to inject some fear into you, for God has not given us the Spirit of fear, but at the same time, there is a fear that comes from God, it is called Godly awe, it is called the fear of God! If the fear of God overtakes you as you read, then so be it, for that is part of the commission God gave to me, to raise a standard, even in the midst of a perverse and compromised generation.
Never in the history of the Homo Sapiens, have there been so many intense attacks from the hordes of hell in the areas of sexuality!
You are married. You are in adultery or you are single, and you are in adultery with a married man. He calls you on phone and you still pick up his calls? You are not ready!
Your pastor is sleeping with you. You claim you don’t know what to do. Yet after service, you go and sit down in his house, when his wife is not around? You are not yet ready like that.
You are the president of your fellowship. A young beautiful lady has accommodation issues, and yet you ask her to come and stay in the Secretariat where you can easily desecrate her? When did you become a property agent? You shouldn’t immobilize yourself through carelessness.
Why would you take a house help who is “crudely” beautiful when you know your weakness and you know your wife is not always around? You just hung yourself by doing that! Climb Her Not, Spread Not The Legs!
Sometimes, young wives don’t have an idea what their husbands are going through in terms of sexual pressures. They think because he speaks in tongues every day, it is taken care of. You want house help, by all means, they brought one village girl to you, your husband says “No way” for no reason, and you are still arguing she must stay? Don’t you know the moment he set eyes on her, he already knew he would “commit?”
The intense pressures and temptations you face daily are orchestrations of hell to tamper with your destiny, but the good news is that he cannot force you!
Decide for God, and you will fulfill your destiny. Always remember this, Joseph ran from sin and fulfilled destiny. Samson stayed with sin, and died, his ministry unfulfilled!
Before you climb on that girl, before you spread your legs for that guy, always remember, it is about your future, your destiny, and your glory!
There are people you sleep with for seven minutes and there is delay and strange troubles for the next seven years. There are strange hands you allow in your blouse and you battle some sickness for the next few years! Climb Her Not, Spread Not The Legs!
Wherever you find yourself this morning, know that the grace of God and His mercy are still at work, and you are never too far gone! You can start afresh in Him this morning, now, and your life will never remain the same again!
CONFESSION I will not be cut off in the midst of my days
PRAYER Lord, keep me in your strength and in your power in Jesus name
THOUGHT Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned (Proverbs 6:27-28 KJV)
ACTION PLAN Delete every number that needs to be deleted.
How To Find A Spouse Without Disappointment. It is wise to find God before you try to find a spouse! It is good that God becomes your Lord, before you seek for a spouse. Your relationship with God will stablise your relationship with your lover. There should first be a lover of your soul before a lover in your soul. There is a space in your heart that only your maker can fill. If you try to put a lover in that spot, you will eventually frustrate that lover and yourself.
There is one of God’s promises that says when you look for Him, you will find Him.
It is a sure promise, because God’s word will never fall to the ground. His word has never been known to fail, and it will never fail. His word will always come to pass!
How do you look for God? How do you look for God in a pragmatic day to day sense?
Now, understand this, the first order of things is to seek and find God before you try to seek a spouse! The foundation that will sustain a successful relationship that will lead to marriage is knowing God, by seeking Him daily and consistently. There is nothing as powerful as that! This is How To Find A Spouse Without Disappointment
13″When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. ” Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, 14 I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed. “God’s Decree. “I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you “–– God’s Decree––” bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it (Jeremiah 29:13-14 Message) The phrase in the above verses says, “…Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.”
Now, that is awesome! King James Version says “…when you search for me with all your heart…”
I want to challenge you this morning, as a spokesman for Jehovah, that it is time you get serious about finding God more in your life. It is something you have to prioritize! When you do that, search for God with all your heart, and really get serious with God in all your endeavours, God gives you a promise that sounds too good to be true, “You will not be disappointed!”
Finally, that scripture says, “I will turn things around for you!” King James Version says “I will turn away your captivity!”
That is only what God can do, not a spouse! That is a job for your Jehovah, not your lover. Marriage cannot turn things around for you, only God can. So you see, that the earlier you settle the God factor in your life, the more you are getting ready for settling down in marriage!
In the ensuing days, weeks, and months, I want you to dedicate time for God in your life, give it some priority, and as God said in His word, I make bold to say that you will not be disappointed! This is How To Find A Spouse Without Disappointment
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will search for God with all my heart
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will strengthen you to search for Him the more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. Riches and honour are with me; yea, durable riches and righteousness (Proverbs 8:17-18 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Step up your time of devotion with God
Two Ways To Love Your Spouse. Sally is in love. Butterflies are flying in her tummy, her heartbeat accelerating, and there are twinkle little stars on her face always! George is floating on Cloud 9. He is crazily in love with Sally. The mere sight of thinking about her would elicit goose pimples all over him.
So, Sally and George are in love! How would they take care of each other?
The Johnsons are married, and somehow the butterflies have decided to rest, the heartbeat is stable and the stars have hibernated. How do you take care of each other or probably rekindle this love?
Here are some ideas for singles and married couples.
Two Ways To Love Your Spouse 1. Communication
Stay in touch. Words are powerful; use them to your advantage. As singles, don’t let your courtship season be a memory of fights, quarrels, and arguments. Be mature with each other. Avoid being incommunicado.
Make it a rule; we must keep talking. That can be a powerful principle to live by as a married couple as well. The devil feasts on silence; assumptions will persist and complicate the issue because assumptions are the lowest form of knowledge.
What is a man looking for? Respect! What is a lady looking for? Love!
If you learn to communicate this, there will be less tension!
Singles should however note that it is wrong to say you are showing respect while you are disobeying God’s injunctions! More aptly put, you are not showing respect to your fiance by cooperating with him when he asks for sex!
2. Spirituals
Oh, pastor, what has this got to do with being romantic? It’s got a lot to do! Somebody said, in order to be romantic, read the book of Romans! Lol…
Well, candidly, your spiritual life as single or married can determine the success of your relationship or marriage.
There are two elements to your spiritual life: reading God’s word and praying to God. If you can make this regular and consistent, some order will come into your relationship/marriage.
As you read, you will come to understand God’s thoughts and plan for a good relationship or marriage.
As you pray, God will give you ideas, resources, and energy to take your relationship/marriage to the next level. Here are Two Ways To Love Your Spouse
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God to the needful
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will teach and instruct you in the way to go
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye (Psalms 32:8 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss the issue of mentorship
