Can I Find Fulfillment In My Lover or Spouse? A lot of singles and married put pressure on their loved ones more than necessary. Sometimes, we even “blame” our spouses for what they are not responsible for when we become frustrated. The reality is that your spouse won’t be able to give you everything, chiefly, fulfillment in life. The emptiness and loneliness in the soul you often feel are “attention getters” for you to get back into God like the prodigal son. The rolling with pigs that we often find ourselves in like the prodigal son cannot be sorted by a lover or spouse but only by you with your God when “you come to yourself!”
Luk 15:17 (KJV) AND WHEN HE CAME TO HIMSELF, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!
Can I Find Fulfillment In My Lover or Spouse?
What exactly is fulfillment? Fulfillment is a unique and personal experience that represents one’s sense of purpose, satisfaction, and happiness. It is a feeling of contentment that comes from aligning one’s values, goals, and aspirations with the choices and actions one takes in their daily life.
The reality is that fulfillment can only come ultimately from God! Your spouse can provide support, love, companionship, and friendship and will always be there, but ultimately you must have a personal relationship with God.
This is central and pivotal. Other mini areas of getting fulfillment like career pursuits, sports, games, and so on will only find meaning after God has been found!
Decide today to go for fulfillment in God, and you will have all other areas sorted.
As singles, you have to understand this, or else, you might find yourself going from one relationship to another and yet not finding what you want! Get into God first, then all others areas will align! Do that and thank me later!
Can I Find Fulfillment In My Lover or Spouse?
Let me attempt to give three simple steps to take in finding fulfillment.
PRAY – Connect with God. He is the one that “manufactured” you and He has the manual for your life, relationship, and marriage!
Jer 33:3 (MSG) ‘Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.’
PURSUIT – Go after your dream! Without apologies! Fulfillment lies in the pursuit of that which God has asked you to do!
3. PLAY – Find areas of hobbies, and relaxation and incorporate that into your busy life
Are you aware of what is going on in REVIVE Conversations?
Basically, Kisses and Huggs Club is bringing you a three-pronged panacea for your relationship and marriage which include:
1. REVIVE Devotionals (which is what you are reading now) 2. REVIVE Prayers (On Mixlr daily by 6.00am GMT +1, available on YouTube afterward) 3. REVIVE Conversations (On Mixlr daily by 9.00pm GMT +1, available on YouTube afterward)
Are you also aware we have responded and treated the following on REVIVE Conversations?
My Husband Doesn’t Appreciate Me
Tired Of Being Single
My Husband Does Not Give Me Money
Venting, Question, and Answers: I Saw My Husband With A Strange Woman
I Love Him But He Is Not Committed In His Church As A Worker
I Find It Hard To Ask For Money From My Husband
My Husband Is Gaslighting Me, And Yet Everybody Thinks He Is Sweet
My Friend Doesn’t Want Us Together Anymore
I Aborted Eleven Times Before Wedding
Scared of my feelings
He’s quiet and doesn’t talk
I feel hurt and betrayed: What should I do?
He Doesn’t Have Money: Is This Waiting Or Time Wasting?
Emotional Involvement: Can I Marry A Muslim?
I Suspect She Is Cheating; I Want To End It
Genotype Issues
I Caught My Husband Cheating
Question: Should I Marry?
Proper Or Improper – My Husband Betrayed My Trust
My Minister Friend Got Involved With A Female Member
I fell a victim of what I feared most
Single Mum: I Fight A Lot With My Baby’s Father
I Got Pregnant Outside Of Wedlock, He Doesn’t Want Me
Betrayed By My Husband, I Want To Retaliate With My Ex
How Side-Chicks Are Smarter Than Wives. A “side chick” is used to describe a person who is in a romantic or sexual relationship with someone who is already married to someone else. This type of relationship is often kept secret and outside of the main relationship, and is considered harmful, unethical, or disrespectful to all parties involved.
The side chicks seem smarter because their goal is different from that of wives.
The side chicks want money and attention. The wife wants love and progress.
In the bid, of the wife to get better and “make” her husband better, she often loses him, almost unconsciously, but it happens all the time.
The side chick only tells her victim what he wants to hear in other to get what she wants.
The wife at home is busy using sex to punish her husband by withholding it.
The side chick is busy investing in sex and using it as a reward by initiating it.
Some wives are still tying towels up and down and hiding their nakedness from their husbands.
The side chick knows how to use her nakedness to seduce the man and “collect” his brain.
The wife at home is busy comparing; that “Daddy” is now going bald and she didn’t bargain for that.
Before I go on, did you miss out on REVIVE Conversations yesterday? We treated the following: Single Mum: I Fight A Lot With My Baby’s Father I Love Him But He Is Not Committed In His Church As A Worker Emotional Involvement: Can I Marry A Muslim? Check the responses HERE or below the devotional.
How Side-Chicks Are Smarter Than Wives
The side chick is busy lying to the man that his shiny head makes him look younger and even rubs it for him all the time.
The wife is busy cutting down on food so that her husband’s big belly can go down. She is suggesting nodules because she doesn’t want to cook.
The side chick will serve pepper soup as an appetizer, then make “swallow” and native soup, and use the food to hold the man by the jugular.
The wife is fasting all the time to win the battle for life and would not allow her husband to spoil the fast with sex.
The side chick is available anytime, even before the man asks, fast or no fast.
The wife is busy at home fighting and quarreling all the time. Contentious over unnecessary things.
The side chick doesn’t get angry. She apologizes quickly and pretends she is submissive!
Since a man is logical, he begins to think he made mistake marrying his wife.
Of course, adultery will end up in the wrong place. This post is not to validate the “side-chickens” but to wake up the wives lest you leave your husband on the table for daughters of Eve to feast on!
Jesus Christ said it aptly!
Luk 16:8b (KJV) …for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light.
How Side-Chicks Are Smarter Than Wives
Dear wives, be smart! End quarrel quickly. Don’t leave your man vulnerable. Stop fighting over everything! Take charge of your man and home!
May God grant you strength!
For all side chicks, men, women, and single ladies involved in adultery know that you are sowing a wrong seed whose harvest you don’t want to imagine! Get back to God and decide to live right with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Why Men Cheat and What You Can Do. God frowns and warns against infidelity! The scripture is clear on that. It really doesn’t matter what number of men are doing “side-chicks” It really doesn’t matter how many married women are yet opening their laps for men in other get some favour or whatever reason!
The reality remains that this sore area has to be confronted and treated and God disapproves of it entirely!
Before I go on, a quick one! On REVIVE Conversations yesterday, we treated and responded to the following:
I fell victim of what I feared most
Venting: I Saw My Husband With A Strange Woman
He Doesn’t Have Money: Is This Waiting Or Time Wasting?
REVIVE Conversation holds 9.00pm daily via Mixlr. If you missed out yesterday, do not worry! We have painstakingly uploaded it to YouTube for you HERE – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej5I465d0OY
Don’t carry the burden around. Consider your mental health. Drop all questions and issues, or if you just want to vent and pour out your heart here – https://khcng.com/vent
The scripture warns clearly of the consequence! Take a look at one of them.
Pro 6:32 (KJV) But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
So we see the very first reason why men cheat right there!
Why Men Cheat and What You Can Do
1. Lack of Understanding
The amplified Bible explains what lack of understanding means.
Pro 6:32 (AMPC) But whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks heart and understanding (moral principle and prudence); he who does it is destroying his own life.
Men cheat because they just don’t have that good heart, that moral principle, and prudence that keeps a man zipped up!
This is one of the qualities you look out for as singles. And this is something you continually pray into your spouse as married.
Attending a relevant meeting, reading books, and studying the Bible, can go a long way in showing man areas where he is lacking!
One of the most difficult things to do is to confront an ignorant man who is also arrogant.
It takes a lot of humility for a man to admit he has been stupid. Some actually admit when they get into trouble only to dabble back into another adulterous terrain. Another translation actually calls it stupidity!
Pro 6:32 (CEV) But if you go to bed with another man’s wife, you will destroy yourself by your own stupidity.
Now, as a single, the man that will cheat on you has probably started doing so even while he is courting you. Watch out for the telltale signs and don’t think the wedding will correct that habit! Be sure you know what you are going into!
Why Men Cheat and What You Can Do
If you are married, fighting your husband, or going into some retaliatory adultery would not always work.
Seek help. One of the ways you can seek help is to go and anonymously pour out your heart at https://khcng.com/vent and we will surely respond!
Don’t keep quiet! Aside from the fact that it is not healthy for you, people will blame you in the end why you kept quiet and did not seek help until things become very messy!
I pray God will intervene in that situation in Jesus’ name!
How To Avoid Or Deal With Gaslighting . We started looking at Gaslighting in relationships and marriage yesterday! Certainly, it is not a good habit to live with as it will eventually ruin any relationship or marriage. It is a defective situation and it will certainly produce undesirable effects.
Singles can avoid gaslighting by simply walking away from a persistent situation. Married couples are to deal with it. How will this be done?
Before I go on, REVIVE Conversation was awesome yesterday! If you missed it, you can check the recap on YouTube using this link – Yesterday we looked at and treated the following:
Proper Or Improper – My Husband Betrayed My Trust
Tired Of Being Single
He’s quiet and doesn’t talk
My Minister Friend Got Involved With A Female Member
My Husband Does Not Give Me Money
Check the responses HERE Tonight we continue on Episode 3 by 9.00pm GMT + 1.
You can ask your questions, pout your heart out, vent, or seek advice HERE and we will respond accordingly!
How To Avoid Or Deal With Gaslighting
Back to our topic of the day, Gaslighting can be a destructive and deceitful form of manipulation, but it is possible to protect yourself from its harmful effects.
As singles, Listen to the Holy Spirit to guide you!
Your inner witness will be a warning sign in the relationship! The moment you have that unsettling feeling about going on with the wedding, do not ignore it. Find out why! Ask questions. Communicate with your intended spouse and don’t just fill every moment with sex. Aside from the fact that it is sinful, it actually destroys meaningful conversations! When you see yourselves, all you do is pounce on yourselves, things move quickly from verbal to sexual.
As couples, you will certainly need to seek counseling or therapy! The situation will need more than some one-hour counseling, because gaslighting is rooted in some mindset that began usually in the distant past and usually the person may not even know that they are abusive or manipulative! Reach out to me via Whatsapp for intensive therapy once your spouse cooperates to deal with it. A lot of digging into the past has to be done to find out where it emanated from! h It will take a lot of humility! That is why accusing your spouse will not work. It is also mostly not planned, it just happens because the person does not know better or it has simply become a habit!
But you see, the other person on the receiving end would not be enjoying it at all.
How To Avoid Or Deal With Gaslighting
It can even get more dramatic and unfortunate when the other partner decides to gaslight as well in a retaliatory effort to preserve their sanity! The kids will pick up the habit and their own marital life becomes defective even before it starts. That will not be your portion in Jesus’ name! So you see, this is not something to accommodate! The consequences can be generational!
Gaslighting in Relationships and Marriages. Gaslighting is a deceptive form of psychological abuse that often goes unnoticed. It is a manipulative tactic used by someone you trust, such as a partner, friend, or family member, to question your memory, perception, and sanity.
As singles, it is better to open your eyes and see any such tendencies and run for your life. Don’t even think you want to change anybody. You are not the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the one that convicts. God has helped you by showing you tendencies you will romance with after the wedding, why are you still holding on blindly?
For those who are married, you are in already! Is gaslighting possible in marriage? The answer is Yes.
Now it is possible for a partner to be doing without even realizing the damage they are doing. It can often come from a defective or abusive background. The hurt always ends up hurting others. In the event of this, it is strongly recommended that both of you seek counsel or therapy, so that this dangerous habit can stop!
The manipulator may deny things you know to be true, make false claims, and twist facts in their favor, leading you to doubt your own reality. Mental issues can arise from persistent gaslighting.
Gaslighting in Relationships and Marriages
To recognize gaslighting, watch out for these red flags:
1. Denial of events Your partner denies things that you recall happening, leaving you feeling confused and uncertain.
2. False claims They may try to convince you that your memory is flawed or that things are not as they seem.
3. Fact-twisting They may present facts in a way that supports their position and leaves you doubting yourself.
4. Isolation They may try to limit your interactions with friends and family, in an effort to control and manipulate you.
5. Reality-doubt The constant barrage of false claims and twisted facts can leave you feeling like you’re losing your mind.
The idea here is not to cause a fight or go ahead and accuse your spouse. That will even cause more problems and bring a wedge between you. It is to lovingly approach this and seek counsel on how to move forward.
For singles, if you can run, you need to, especially if it is persistent and the person is unwilling to admin and seek help.
Gaslighting in Relationships and Marriages. What do you do when you are intertwined with gaslighting?
To be Continued Tomorrow.
Are you aware we started to REVIVE Conversations yesterday? You will see Video soon below the devotional. We continue today by 9.pm GMT +1
