As a marriage counselor, I’ve had to mediate conflicts between various couples over the years. One significant concern is affairs or adultery.
This does not only apply to nonbelievers. There is also adultery within the church.
An affair is defined as a sexual relationship, romantic friendship, or passionate attachment between two people that occurs without the other spouse’s knowledge.
Nobody is exempt from having an affair. Nothing can ever justify an affair. God frowns upon it, and we do also on Kisses and Huggs Club
Why do affairs occur?
The answer is not far-fetched once we identify the main reason.
How Marriage Affairs and Adultery Begin
1. A forewarning and a wake-up call
Some people have affairs solely to “warn” their spouse and show them what they are capable of. Can you outdo that?
When you try to warn or return to your spouse through an affair, the repercussions are not pleasant.
Pro 6:32-33 (MSG) Adultery is a brainless act, soul-destroying, self-destructive; [33] Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good.
How Marriage Affairs and Adultery Begin
2. The Demands
When either party’s sexual and emotional needs are not addressed, it is a red flag that an affair is on the horizon.
As a pair, try to meet each other’s wants as much as possible.
It aids in reducing the vulnerability that results from unfulfilled needs.
How Marriage Affairs and Adultery Begin
3. A Swollen Ego
This may sound silly, but guys frequently have affairs to restore a damaged ego!
At the same time, while this may appear “valid” to men, affairs are still wrong and will always have consequences.
Wives, don’t purposefully wound your husband’s ego. Instead, massage and shield it.
In Jesus’ name, may God provide you with more insight.
As singles, understand that double dating is the rehearsal for adultery. If your partner is cheating on you before the wedding, they will likely continue even after marriage.
How to Stop Nagging in Your Marriage. Cynthia was perplexed by her husband’s abrupt change in behavior. He now stays out late with his friends rather than returning home.
Cynthia reflected that he wasn’t like this when they were first married.
She couldn’t handle it any longer. She cried and wouldn’t stop until Peter, her husband, explained why he was late.
Peter’s statement took her by surprise. Cynthia, you nag! he remarked.
Cynthia couldn’t understand the connection between nagging and coming home late. What is the connection? Let’s take a look at the scripture.
How to Stop Nagging in Your Marriage
King Solomon was correct when he stated
Pro 21:9 CEV It’s better to stay outside on the roof of your house than to live inside with a nagging wife.
Solomon then says in a few verses later in the chapter:
Pro 21:19 CEV It’s better out in the desert than at home with a nagging, complaining wife.
Simply said, nagging will drive couples apart. As some may believe, nagging is not gender-specific. A wife can nag and a husband can nag too. Men who take a lot after their mum can often nag as well.
Nagging is just making a repeated demand or comment.
If you find yourself in this predicament, there are a few options to get out of it.
How to Stop Nagging in Your Marriage
1. Recognize that nagging is a negative attitude.
2. Request that the Holy Spirit assist you in breaking the undesirable behavior.
3. Look into Scriptures in the Bible that deal with the circumstance and ponder on them.
4. Respect your spouse’s thoughts and don’t expect your spouse to do everything you suggest right away.
5. Do not keep repeating yourself. Your husband initially heard you. Rather than nagging, pray to God and ask him to assist you.
It is easier and more effective when you let God do the saying to your spouse than you continually nagging till you wear each other out.
If This Happens, He Doesn’t Love You. One of the most unpleasant and draining sensations is falling in love with someone who is uninterested in you.
It is an abusive relationship where one will chase after the other, with no chance of ever catching up. One is authentic, living authentically, while the other is merely playing games.
Unfortunately, the one who is genuine will be saddened when the milk spills, while the other is unbothered.
Here are five signs that a man isn’t interested in you.
If This Happens, He Doesn’t Love You.
He rarely calls, and when he does, it is to obtain something from you.
People who don’t care about you will rarely stay in touch because they care about you; they will only stay in touch to acquire what they want. When they see that they are not going to get what they want, they drop you like a hot potato.
Communication is essential to the success of any relationship or marriage. If your sweetheart has not been in constant communication and is continually making flimsy excuses for not remaining in touch, it strongly indicates that something is wrong.
The quality of your conversation reflects the health of your relationship.
You see when you’re in love with someone, you want to be with them, you want to talk to them, and you want to spend time with them.
If This Happens, He Doesn’t Love You.
When phone calls are abruptly terminated and repeatedly hung up on you, you are no longer on the same page.
In marriage, you also have to keep the communication going. Don’t let the routine of day-to-day happenstances mess with your loving communication!
Keep it going! Yes, you saw yourselves in the morning, continue the conversations on the phone, chats, and so on.
For couples, who live apart because of their jobs, you even have to be more deliberate and also do this frequently!
One Characteristic to Look for in a Man. One of the most common problems that single women face is determining how to spot a good man.
According to the Bible, in
Pro 20:6b (KJV) but a faithful man who can find?
It implies that finding a good man is difficult. There are numerous attributes to seek in a man. I only want to show you one as an example of things to look out for in a man.
This is a non-negotiable trait. It is something you should never, ever compromise on.
One Characteristic to Look for in a Man
Let’s have a look at this.
1Pe 3:7 (KJV) Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Does this person you want to make your husband HONOUR you?
It’s a multi-billion-dollar question that requires a thoughtful journey before signing on the dotted line!
He will not honor you tomorrow if he does not honor you now.
One Characteristic to Look for in a Man
Everything your fiance is doing to you now will be repeated in marriage.
All of his deeds are trailers for the real film.
And that film is lengthy, spanning multiple seasons!
What does it mean to be honorable?
It indicates holding high regard or regard for someone. Can you say this to the man you want to marry?
There is no honor when he sleeps with you under duress or by any other type of manipulation. There is no honor if he tells you that you are merely one of his many girlfriends. There is no honor if he repeatedly raises his hand against you, only to apologize later.
I could go on, but I’m sure you get the idea.
One Characteristic to Look for in a Man
According to the Message translation:
Honor them, delight in them.
Is he really into you? In a genuine way, rather than for the sake of sexual gratification?
Another translation is as follows:
Husbands, in a similar way, live with your wives with understanding.
Is he thinking of you? Does he let you express yourself or does he silence you until your default mode is mute?
Finally, another translation states:
If you are a husband, you should be thoughtful of your wife.
Is he considerate? Is he sympathetic to your requirements, or does he believe you are overly demanding?
These are important questions to think about.
I will not forget to pray for you this morning. My God will lead you into His will. In Jesus’ name, your path will not intersect with a time-waster! And for those already married, God will keep you and preserve your marriage for good in Jesus’ name!
5 Marriage Advice for Married Men. Here are five tips that will help husbands.
1. Have a good leadership.
The body will be correct if the head is correct. However, if you have a terrible head, the likelihood of your body following suit is high.
We can still work on the body if the head is in good shape. We can exercise to maintain it in shape, or we can eat more to keep it healthy and strong.
Invest in books to become knowledgeable and educated.
2. Always take your wife with you.
Your wife is supposed to be beside you. Let there be no vacancy in her place. Tell her all you have planned, both now and in the future.
Allow her to know about your finances, and understanding her personality will help you decide what to entrust to her hands.
If she is not going to handle the financial aspects of the house, she should at least be aware of where the money is going.
3. Always communicate in your wife’s love language.
Your wife needs to know she is adored. She must understand that she is adored by you. You love her on her terms rather than yours. That is what it means to speak her love language.
4. Defend your wife and be there for her.
The truth is that your wife is the only person on the planet with whom you have a marital vow.
It is your obligation to ensure that she is emotionally, psychologically, and otherwise safeguarded.
5. Stay on the same page.
To accomplish this, you must both have a common purpose that you intend to attain together.
You must collaborate to achieve a common goal. According to the Bible, two are better than one because they will receive a favorable recompense for their efforts.
Allow your hard work and the fruits of your labor to shine through.
Don’t waste your entire marriage fighting over insignificant issues. Grow as a couple. Be mature and tackle the task that God has assigned to you both.
