I have come to realize that choosing a spouse is not as spookyas some people make it to feel. If you can just follow God all through, the journey will be less complicated.
Also, I have realized that more often than not, your spouse is very much around you. Godis not just about to create your spouse. You just need to be discerning to know where he or she is.
Ex 32:1(KJV) And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.
After Moses had gone for a long while, the children of Israel became impatient and demanded a god. Where would they get the raw materials to fabricate a god? Remember, they were in the wilderness.
See what Aaron said.
Ex 32:2-4 (KJV) And Aaron said unto them, Break off the golden earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me. 3 And all the people brake off the golden earrings which were in their ears, and brought them unto Aaron. 4 And he received them at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.
Aaron made the golden calf with the earrings he found around him.
Who would have thought something good could come out of those earrings?
I mean, they wear these earrings every day. They see it every day. They use it every day. It was looking too common in their eyes, so they couldn’t see the golden calf in it.
And that is how this marriage thing is. You are probably seeing your spouse every day. You are probably interacting with your spouse every other day. The issue is that you may not know. It took Aaron, the priest, to see that something good could come out of the earrings. Likewise, it will take a priest to see if something worthwhile will come out of that lady or gentleman lurking around you.
However, as believers, we don’t need any Aaron. You are the Priest and Prophet over your life.
You are the one who will look beyond the physical and go for what you want.
You are the one who will cry to God to open your eyes that you may see what others are not seeing in that person.
Everyone saw a woman with five husbands, but Jesus saw an evangelist.
Everyone saw gold earrings, but Aaron saw a golden calf.
Everyone saw something whitish, but Moses saw food for the Israelites.
Dear people, let’s talk about something real: Song of Solomon 8:4 says, “Don’t wake up love before its time.” Basically? Love isn’t meant to be rushed, forced, or treated lightly. It’s sacred—and so are you.
Our world often tells us to “go for it” when it comes to relationships, but God’s Word offers a better way: chastity.
This isn’t about rules or shame. It’s about protecting your heart (and someone else’s) like a treasure. Think of it like this: if love is a beautiful flower, chastity is the fence that keeps it safe from being trampled.
Choosing purity isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. Every time you say “no” to pressure or impulsive decisions, you’re saying “yes” to God’s best plan. It’s like training your heart to trust Him, even when feelings get messy.
And guess what? God doesn’t leave you hanging. He gives you people to lean on, Scripture to guide you, and His Holy Spirit to remind you that you’re never alone.
Here’s the truth: your body and heart matter. They’re not meant for casual use but for a love that’s deep, committed, and timed by God. So set boundaries.
Pray for courage. Surround yourself with friends who lift you up. And when you mess up? Remember, grace is bigger than any mistake.
God, help me slow down and trust Your timing. Give me the strength to honor You with my choices, and remind me that true love is always worth waiting for. Amen.
Purity isn’t about being “perfect”—it’s about being purposeful. Protect your heart because God’s plans for you (and your future relationships) are always good.
This is one of the most important lessons anyone can learn in life, relationships, and marriage.
Deuteronomy 30:19 [KJV] I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:
Our text today tells us we can choose life. In order to live and enjoy life, we have to choose our lives. We must exercise our power of choice.
For many years, I was led by my feelings and emotions. I must admit I was a very slow learner. Thank God He never gave up on me. I allowed my feelings to direct my moods, feelings, thoughts, actions, and inactions.
This got me into a lot of trouble—troubles I could have avoided. If someone hurt me, my day was literally ruined. I wasted years on this roller coaster of emotions. It was as though I was stuck.
I was where the devil wanted me. A place where my emotions were in control. I didn’t know how to allow my spirit and the word of God to control my life. If I woke up feeling bad or down, my whole day was going to be bad. How many opportunities have we allowed to slip by as a result of not managing our emotions?
But thank God, our God is a restorer. He will restore the year that the caterpillar has eaten and destroyed. We can be in control and in charge of our emotions and say No to the voice of our feelings.
Let the Word of God dwell in you richly. Choose to live above your feelings. When you choose to obey God rather than your feelings, your feelings will catch up with your decisions and eventually line up. As you do this, you will begin to experience the quality of life God has for you.
As women, the fact that we are emotional beings doesn’t mean we should be controlled by our emotions. People can hurt you with their words and actions, but move past it. Forgive, forget, and love on. You get better off for doing this.
Am I saying you will not be hurt? On the contrary, move past it with the help of the Holy Spirit and be in control. Tell yourself you are in charge here.
Experience a richer life by not living by the dictates of your flesh and feelings.
We usually love “love” when it’s easy—when there’s laughter and romance, and everything feels right. And we can be tempted to think that’s all love is about. But what if I tell you that love can be inconvenient? What if I tell you love also demands patience, sacrifice, or even choosing to stay when walking away seems easier?
As singles, it’s easy to chase relationships that feel good in the now, even when you know the person is wrong for you. It’s easy to run at the slightest pressure. It’s easy to define love by “butterflies in the tummy.” But real love isn’t always convenient. It requires waiting on God’s timing, it requires walking away from the wrong person even when it hurts, and it requires choosing to love with wisdom instead of emotions. It requires staying strong even in valley moments. If someone only “loves” you when it’s easy—when you agree, when you look your best, or when you are crushing milestones—that’s not real love. Run, my dear, run for your life.
As married couples, you have to CHOOSE to love even through difficult seasons—when viewpoints differ, when tempers rise, when stress comes, when flaws are exposed. You must choose to love, forgive, communicate, and to fold your sleeves and get to work as you labour together for a better tomorrow. This is what real love is—real love can be tough. Tough love it is. The popular John 3:16 says:
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
God loved us, and He died for us! Tough love, I say—a love that gives, even when it’s costly.
Is your love just in the feel-good times? Or are you willing to love, even when it’s not convenient?
P.S.: Dear singles, this is not about you staying even when the red flags are glaring! Please don’t get it twisted. Shalom.
Marriage, they say, is the only institution where you receive a certificate even before you start. It is a lifelong journey, and the person you choose to walk with determines where and how you end up. Your spouse has a significant impact on your future, destiny, and purpose in life.
The question of whom to marry is a crucial one that requires sincere answers. Many people seem good, kind, and caring, but that does not necessarily mean they are God’s best for you as a life partner.
When I say “marry from your tribe,” I’m not referring to ethnicity, nationality, or cultural background. I’m talking about the tribe of Christ, which is the body of believers.
The Bible clearly states
[Amos 3:3] “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
A partner who does not share your faith and convictions will eventually create division, which will make walking in unity difficult.
Your tribe is not just someone who goes to church but a true believer in Christ. Someone who shares the same understanding of salvation, grace, and the Lordship of Jesus.
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
Being in the same church does not mean you share the same faith. Someone can be religious without being saved. True compatibility in Christ goes beyond attending services together. It means having the same foundation in faith.
If you believe in living a life of holiness, prayer, and service to God, marrying someone who doesn’t share those values will only bring conflict.
For example:
If you are convicted about modesty, don’t marry someone who believes otherwise, hoping they will change. Or if you belong to the no ornaments tribe, don’t marry someone who loves jewelry, expecting them to abandon it after marriage.
Yes, change is possible through God, but some changes require deep personal conviction. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed, not endured.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” (Psalm 127:1)
Steps to Marry from God’s Tribe
1. Be a Part of the Tribe First
Before looking for a godly spouse, ensure that you are rooted in Christ. You cannot find the right person if you are not the right person.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
2. Pray for Divine Guidance
Marriage is not just about emotions; it’s a spiritual covenant. Seek God’s direction before making a choice.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
3. Observe Their Fruit, Not Just Their Words
Jesus said, By their fruits, you will know them. Matthew 7:16
A godly spouse should exhibit the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23.
4. Check for Doctrinal Agreement
Do you both believe in salvation by grace? Do you both understand the role of faith, prayer, and obedience to God? Differences in core beliefs can create future conflicts.
5. Seek Godly Counsel
Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14
Involve spiritual mentors, pastors, or mature believers in your decision-making process.
Marriage is a journey that should bring joy, not sorrow. You can either enjoy marriage or manage marriage. Let your standard go beyond the physical. Choose wisely and within the tribe of God.
