Ok, I promised to continue from where we left off yesterday and I will keep to my promise as some new topics are screaming at me right now. Yesterday we looked at the first two things that are very important before you say ‘I do’, which are
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him
We still have five more points to go.
3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually 4. Be ready to cook for him 5. Be ready to dress for him 6. Be ready to pray for him. 7. Be ready to help him
Today we continue from the third one.
3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually You and I know this is very important right? But here are few things about that. Now, talking to married couples first, I want to tell wives, if it is possible, try as much as you can to always satisfy your husband sexually. It is the number one preventive for an adulterous lifestyle. I am not trying to justify any man’s recklessness in his family, but I am saying a few things can be guard against.
Young wives, you need to know that jeru trip is not a tool for punishment or reward. When he is nice and has bought something for you, you cooperate with him. When he has not been nice, you start singing ‘my head, my shoulder, my knees, my toes, they all are paining me! That is not fair!
Well, the scripture admonishes couples, ‘defraud ye not one another!’ The scripture calls it fraud when you deny one another without genuine reasons! And really, genuine reasons should only come up once in a while!
Why is jeru trip so important to men? It is because of their wiring, it is not their fault. However, the scripture makes it clear that a sexual relationship should only be with your spouse, not with a colleague or somebody you met in a one-nightstand somewhere! The consequences of adultery are debilitating. It comes with agony and regrets!
If you are not enjoying it as a wife, you should let your husband know so that you can find ways to resolve that. It is not right to keep rebuffing his advances because ‘you are not enjoying it!’ You should be enjoying it to the fullest because one of the reasons why God made jeru trip is pleasure. There could be many reasons why you don’t enjoy it and you might need to see a trusted counselor together (never alone) who can keep your issues confidential.
If you feel your husband rushes you and is never patient, teach him and lead him gently until he learns to wait for you. I would have gone deeper on this, but singles are reading this too, so I don’t want to ‘afflict’ their souls! Lol.
Let him know areas you would want him to touch. Every man ought to know every lady needs an average of twenty minutes to be fully ready! So ladies, when you notice your husband has been reacting, withdrawing, getting angry at little things, getting irritated at almost everything, complaining about what he used to ignore, check out whether you have been refusing his advances and his ego is not allowing him to ‘beg’ for it. It is actually not a good place for any man to be because a sexually starved man is capable of messing up anytime!
Protect your marriage by enjoying each other and never denying each other. For a lady, it is more than a physical workout, it is an emotional thing for her, so when she is hurt, she may not be able to release herself. This is why it is important to forgive easily and let go…because you are still one! It is also why you should treat your wife gently and be caring!
For the singles, I mentioned some things yesterday. You are not to satisfy anybody until after you say I do, which is in marriage. You can put forth all kinds of lame excuses why it should happen but that is not God’s order. If you are going to have God’s support, favour, and help in this life, then you had better do it God’s way. And I really don’t think anybody wants to live without God’s support, favour, and help in this life. Those are what would distinguish and make a difference in your life.
If as a married couple, you are already involved with adultery or with pre-marital sex as a single, it is never too late to ask God for forgiveness and turn around in your ways. That is how not to delay yourself or slow yourself down.
Conclusively, you will never be able to ‘insure’ any relationship or ‘keep’ a man through compromise. Your body is not a commodity to trade; it is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Respect your body and don’t trade it around because God puts a lot of value on your body and on your person!
To be continued tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will give you wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Do you know how to pray? Prayer is an integral part of being a Christian. It’s how you connect to God, an avenue where you and God meet. Think of prayer as a playground where you go to play and have fun with friends. But in this context, God is your friend that wants to play (connect with you) with you.
Apart from prayer helping you to connect to God, it also enables you to draw strength from God. Praying is also how you display your faith in Him to release His power into your situations.
What happens when you don’t know how to pray? You’re in church and all the adults are praying and you don’t how to join in. Maybe you have the urge to pray and don’t know what to say. There’s a picture in your mind but you don’t know the right words to use to release this picture.
News flash! I can bet you that your parents or all those adults at church were once like you too. They didn’t become prayer warriors in a day. They went through a process. Even the disciples of Jesus asked Him to teach them how to pray –
“…Lord, please teach us to pray, too” Luke11:1. ICB.
They asked because they wanted to know how to pray. There was a desire. Do you have that same desire? Be like the followers of Christ ask God for help to pray just like the disciples did.
Asking for help is not bad. Even Jesus encourages us to keep asking –
“Continue to ask, and God will give to you. Continue to search, and you will find. Continue to knock, and the door will be open” Matthew 7:7 ICB.
Here is another translation
Ask in faith – “So I tell you to ask for things in prayer. And if you believe that you have received those things, then they will be yours”. Mark 11:24. ICB.
Obedience is also important. As you ask (to be taught how to pray) and receive, say the words as the Holy Spirit drops them in your heart. Don’t hold back.
It should beour aim in marriage to want to do those things that please our spouses, whether you are the wife or husband. I remembered how I used to read about anything that has to do with marriage when I first got married. I wanted to have a good marriage and so I looked for ways to improve our marriage.
In my twenty-one-plus years of marriage, I have found these 3 things particularly heartwarming. No matter how these three things will make your husband be endeared to you.
They are;
1. Good food 2. Jeru trip 3. Attention
1. Good food Men enjoy good food, well prepared. If you have a husband that can cook and enjoys cooking you are sure blessed. But basically, the kitchen is not their place. They enjoy varieties but you have to know your own husband. Some don’t like experiments. They have a sensitive tummy and so won’t try out anything different.
You will do good to spice up your cooking. These days that women are career women, it may be difficult. But anything for your marriage and home is worth it. The jobs will go but what will remain is your marriage and your husband.
2. Attention This comes in different flavors but attention is still attention. As a married woman, your husband does not want to have the slightest feeling that someone else is taking your attention in any way.He wants to be reassured over and over again that he is the only one you are dedicated to in terms of time and attention. Your husband also enjoys it if you spend time with him talking and playing.
3. Jeru trip Every man enjoys jeru trip. What jeru trip is for a man is different from what it is for a woman. For a man, it releases tension. All his creativity comes alive. It is like a renewal of strength and rejuvenation. So your husband enjoys it. So if you are a married woman, just know that you have signed for these three things for life.
You must up your game not to be found wanting in these three areas. Never complain, never wish your husband was less demanding but be up to the task and the Lord will help you.
Some husbands are more demanding than usual but God will give you the grace you need.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am able to meet my husband’s need
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me the grace to meet the needs of my husband
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 31:11 (KJV) The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
In today’sdevotional, we’ll be looking at “Overcoming Your Marital Challenges Through Patience”. We may have so many ‘buts’, but one thing remains which stands sure and that is you are married.
Yes, married for life and married till death do you part. But marriage requires a lot of patience, hard work, and some more patience. This is what we need to overcome marital challenges that will come our way.
Like the movie, I and my husband saw some time ago. It was a pathetic story of a young lady who married her high school lover, got married against the advice of her sisters all in the name of love. She kept spending all she had for this guy who kept on promising things will be better.
She was the one funding the guy’s education and finally when she thought the guy would get a job to help her, he was busy with a project. The lady worked two jobs just to make ends meet. They spent all her mum’s money left for her till they were bankrupt.
This guy couldn’t get a job because he was an ex-convict. He devoted all his life to his project with the promise things will get better. The lady was frustrated. And one day out of her frustration decided to file for a divorce coupled with the fact that she suspected him of adultery.
After eighteen years of waiting for all his wonderful promises, she decided to call it quit. She was tired and frustrated. After some months of the lady giving upon him, his project hit it big. Her once not so good for nothing husband became a millionaire. She tried to get back but it was too late.
Her ex-husband was married to the same lady she accused him of having an affair with. She went through a season of guilt, shame, jealousy, and rage. All the things her ex-husband promised her were now to be enjoyed by another woman.
She loves her husband but… she could no longer wait. She was frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed. She could no longer wait and she had wrong advice from her sisters.
Please, whatever you are going through in your marriage, know that with a lot of patience you can overcome. You will still have your dreams come through. Don’t give up on your marriage. Don’t be like this woman who eventually killed herself out of jealousy. She labored but another ate the fruit of her labour. That will not be your portion
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be wait for your salvation in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:12 (KJV) Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin today to acknowledge the person of the Holy spirit.
In this episode we continue learning how children can hear from God, and today, we would be starting with the story of Ehiz.
Ehiz didn’t like how his brothers treated him. They always teased him about his love for reading and studying. They called him names like “effico”, “bookworm” and more. He wished he could just tell them what was on his mind. They weren’t that perfect too. He knew their flaws too and what they did in secret.
At church, he learnt about forgiveness. The Sunday school teacher used the story of Joseph to explain how to forgive. Through this he knew what God was saying, for this is a way that children can hear from God.
But that was going to be hard for Ehiz. So, he approached the teacher and told him about what he was facing at home. The teacher explained the reason why he had to forgive his brothers just like Joseph did.
By the time they were through, Ehiz learnt why he had to forgive and how to do so. It was a relief to him. He wasn’t going to continue in unforgiveness towards his brothers. He had heard God; children can hear from God!
When you speak to other believers about an issue, you get more knowledge. They help you to understand what you are feeling, why it is wrong or right, and what to do about it. When the believer is older than you, you get to hear about their or other people’s experiences on issues like yours.
So, find a believer like yourself and share your fears or issues with them. This is one way that children can hear from God.
