Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22 KJV)
It is interesting to note that the scripture above says, He that findeth a wife, not a sister, not a girl, but a wife! In other words, you must be a wife material before being found.
You see, the scripture cannot be broken. It is the wife material that would be found, not any other thing! So the next question is how does one become a wife material?
First of all, we will attempt to answer that question by looking at what a wife material is not. Sometimes, you find out what something is by studying what it is not.
You are not a wife material when
1. You are lazy When you read through who a virtuous woman is in the scriptures, you will know that laziness is not part of the virtue being described there. If you have doubts, go through Proverbs 31: 10 – 31. Listen to me, if you are lazy, you need to start working on that now, so that it will not affect your marriage eventually after marriage.
A good wife should Know how to cook. A good wife is a homemaker. Women are usually multipliers. Start to discipline yourself and learn the basic things.
It is not exactly like a wife should become the house help, and I am not advocating that the husband should do nothing at home. It’s so simple, a wife should not be lazy. How do you know you are lazy? Somebody would have told you! If your mum or dad has ever told you that you are lazy, it is true! Don’t argue, just say mum, how can I make adjustments? Be humble! Don’t wait for your husband to confirm that!
2. You are sleeping around You are not a wife material when you are still sleeping around and you are generous with your body! It is a direct violation of God’s way of doing things and such a lifestyle will bring difficulties into your life. The way of the transgressor is hard! A wife material is not into “aristo!”
3. You are spiritually irresponsible A wife material should develop herself spiritually. You need that spiritual maturity to help you balance your role as a wife-to-be, mother-to-be, and sometimes combining that with a vibrant career.
4. You are not accountable Accountability is powerful. As a young lady, who are your mentors? Who are you accountable to? Who can you call on the phone when you have issues and you will get good counsel? Are you a tither? Do you honor God with your time and service? Are you serving in your local assembly?
5. You are selfish A wife material is selfless. You don’t consider yourself alone! Marriage is about being selfless. Two people who are married and are selfish will soon crash their marriage. Marriage can only survive when the two people involved love themselves genuinely and are not selfish
6. You are already living with him You are not a wife material by living in his house when you are not yet married. One of the marks of being a wife material is to respect your body and honor God with it. But when you are already involved in compromise repeatedly and without repentance, you are not really honoring your body!
Don’t travel over to meet him where he is and then spend days with him. If you do that, you will be sowing the wrong seeds into that relationship and you are not going to have God’s support and favor doing that.
What if you are already doing that? Park out of his house! You are not married!
What if I park out and he leaves me? Then he is not your husband!
Your husband will be willing to wait for you. That is how you carve some respect for yourself.
When you look at the concept of a “wife” in the scriptures, it says, you are a help meet for him. Your entrance into his life translates into favour for the family!
Are you preparing yourself in that regard? You see God is not an author of confusion, so He will not bring into your life what you are not ready for! Are you really ready for marriage? Do you love yourself? Are you really single in the sense of it? Have you gone past that stage where you are looking for someone to complete you?
It is a wife material that would be found. Not any other thing, so my challenge to ladies this morning is, are you a wife material?
I pray for you this morning, that God will open your eyes the more and help you to be better prepared, and to be found by your husband! You will be found in Jesus name! I curse every operation of the spirit of delay in your life and declare that God’s counsel over your life will stand in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to prepare for my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray for wisdom to be all God wants you to be.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 18:22 (NET) The one who finds a wife finds what is enjoyable, and receives a pleasurable gift from the Lord.
Yesterday, we lookedat what every man wants in his spouse that women need to pay attention to. Today, it’s the other way round, we’re looking at what a wife wants from her husband, so let’s go!
1. A head, not a headache This is one of the vital things a wife wants from you. A man is supposed to be his wife’s head, not her headache. What is the head supposed to do? The eyes are located in the head, so one of the principal responsibilities of a man as the head is to cast a vision for the family and give direction as well. The mind is located in the head, so the man is supposed to be a thinker and be responsible.
Being the head does not mean she is subservient to you, for there is nothing the head can do alone. It is the body that holds the head and so the head needs the cooperation of the neck and the body to function in its assignment.
The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. (Ephesians 5:23 Message)
There are some singles ladies in courtship that are already having sleepless nights by virtue of who they are involved with. This is not the plan of God for you, and when you see negative trends like that, the man is not likely to change after marriage. Don’t close your eyes to all the red lights because you want to get married desperately.
2. A protector, not a manipulator A man is supposed to be the protector of the lady, even in a dating situation. But what is rampant today is a brazen display of manipulation and high degree insincerity. We have men today who are not really interested in marriage but just in jeru trip. A wife wants to feel safe and protected
As a lady, there is no point courting such a man because if you are not careful, he will soon have his way while you are left heartbroken. A manipulator knows how to feed your weaknesses just to get what he wants. A husband that manipulates knows how to logically blame the wife for everything.
3. A caring husband, not a scary one There are wives that can’t talk in their matrimonial home. They are permanently muted. For such women, the fear of their husbands is the beginning of wisdom! There are even ladies who are in courtship and they have no say. Now, this is very defective and it is not God’s order! The man that loves God and loves his family does not scare. You don’t rule your home with an iron fist, you rule with love.
A situation where the boy is playing football, but upon hearing the blast of dad’s car horn, dives through the window, the wife rushes to the kitchen to get food ready…. all because the lion of the tribe of his house has come! Children raised in this kind of atmosphere always rebel in the end. Be caring, rather than be scary!
4. A praying husband, not a preying one It will interest you to know that every lady wants a spiritual man. Every lady wants a man that will wake her up to pray. Every lady wants a man that can lay hands on her and bless her. Now, you don’t have to be a pastor to do that. You only need to have a relationship with God.
Tomorrow, I will show us more things a woman wants from her husband.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to advance my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, help me to be a husband indeed.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Support your spouse all the way.
Today we will be learning how to love your neighbour as yourself from the story of Tom.
Tom glanced outside of the window, away from his video game, and noticed the dark clouds signaling rain any moment now. He returned to his game till it began to rain. It rained for hours. Remember the story is about ‘love your neighbour as yourself.’
Later that day, Fikayo, Tom’s roommate returned from class and found his clothes drenched on the line. He knew Tom had seen him this morning when he was washing. Why hadn’t Tom helped him to pack his clothes off the line before it rained? Did Tom not learn “love your neighbour as yourself”?
“Tom, why didn’t you help me to pack my clothes when it began to rain?’ asked Fikayo. ‘I don’t know.’ Tom replied.
Fikayo shook his head sadly and left Tom to his video game. “You must learn to love your neighbour as yourself,” he thought as he left.
In the bible, God laid down some instructions to the Israelites concerning this “love your neighbour as yourself” matter.
You might see your fellow Israelite’s ox or sheep wandering away. Don’t ignore it. Take it back to its owner. The owner might not live close to you. Or you might not know who he is. Then take the animal home with you. Keep it until the owner comes looking for it. Then give it back to him. Deuteronomy 22:1 – 2 ICB
He says that it is a sin if you act nonchalantly towards your neighbor’s belongings. Not that you should be on the lookout for their things. No. What it means is that, when you are in a position to help keep their things safe, you should do so. Love your neighbour as yourself.
Just like Tom in our story. He knew it was going to rain and he didn’t help his roommate – his neighbor, to pack his clothes in. Even if Fikayo was not his roommate, but because he saw him washing and Tom was around when it began to rain. He should have portrayed “love your neighbour as yourself.”
All he could have done was to take some minutes to demonstrate how much he loves his neighbor by helping to pack his clothes from the line. Learn to love your neighbour as yourself.
God isn’t saying that you should love your neighbour as yourself because they are good, but because He wants you to grow to a point where you can love people irrespective of who they are or what they do to you.
May God bless you and give you a heart of love for people. Amen
Prayer: Lord, help me to act responsibly towards people’s things around me, in Jesus’ name, amen.
Action point: Be watchful of people’s thing’s around you; love your neighbour as yourself
Fathers and Fatherhood was taught by Rev. Dunamis Okunowo on the 20th of June 2021 at Shouts of Grace Center, Joke Plaza, Beside Trans Amusement Park, Bodija-UI Road, Ibadan.
In his teaching, Rev. Dunamis made mention of the following important points:
The rising of children lie in their fathers
You are designed to tap into the grace and strength of your father so that you can go farther.
A simple offence at your covering can cost you your life.
There ought to be a mutual embrace between the father and the son.
A Father Warns
I do not write these things to shame you, but as my beloved children I warn you.
1 Corinthians 4:14 (NKJV)
He reprimands you. He disciplines you. He’s not some cheerleader who pampers you.
It’s not everything you obey that you understand, but once you obey, you position yourself for favour.
Anybody that cannot be disciplined is a bastard.
If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.
Hebrews 12:7-8 (NKJV)
When you are being corrected, your ego is bruised, but you must heed instruction.
Correction is bitter but the end result is sweet.
A Father Exhibits Humility
It is the responsibility of a father to provide for his children.
A Father Protects
If you are not covered, you will struggle all your life. You don’t fight your pastor; you don’t fight your father.
You have a covering of protection under the person you are submitted to.
A Father Preserves
Your father has authority in his voice.
A Father Provides Priesthood
A father (biological) has the responsibility to take the needs of the family to God. The devil can’t afflict your household unless you permit.
A Father Is A Prophet
The father is a prophetic personality.
It takes your prophet to show you where your prosperity is.
As a son, you must understand when there is a shift in your father’s life, and when you see it you will get double of the anointing over his life.
To listen to messages of Rev Dunamis, go HERE or HERE
1. A wife, not a knife There is a difference between a wife and a knife. A knife cuts and lacerates. Such is Job’s wife who looked at him in the height of his crisis and pain and told him to curse God and die!
A wife does not give up. A good wife stays there and believes the best for her husband and home.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
2. A companion, not a competitor A man wants a companion in his wife. There is a difference between championship and companionship. A home is not a WWE arena. No man will feel good who thinks his wife is out to compete with him.
Competitive spirit between a couple defeats the very reason for marriage.
3. A help; not a hell You tell some men to repent of their sins or else they will go to hell. They simply laugh and tell you there is no hell hotter than the ones their wives are giving them at home. Sounds humorous, but is actually sad to hear.
Every man needs genuine help. He may not own up to it if he is overly egocentric, but the truth remains he needs help.
A woman was created to help the man. But when she decides to give him hell at home, all will not be well.
Sometimes, it is the man that pushes the woman to this point, but it is not always a good place to be in.
A joke was told of the devil invading a particular club and everybody ran away including the club owner except one man.
The devil was surprised. So he asked him,
“Are you not scared? Everybody is running from me and you are just sitting there?” The man sips his drink and calmly replied, “I am not scared of you. What can you do? I have been married to your sister for seven years, what else can you do that she has not done?
4. A friend, not a fraud Every man needs a friend. A friend is always there for you. A friend loves genuinely. Friends talk and communicate. Friends cover each other’s back. Friends want to be around each other. Friends look forward to being together.
There is no point getting married to somebody whose guts you hate.
Are you still your husband’s friend? If not, do all you can to become friends again.
If there is a courtship or marriage where the couple is no longer friends, crisis is in the corner.
5. A playmate, not a co-tenant Every man loves to play. There is a recreational tendency in every man. If he doesn’t see it in his wife, he would hang around the boys in town!
Ever wondered why your husband would leave a large LCD, curved Samsung TV at home to go and watch football in a club on a smaller TV? It is the ‘play” in the watching, the comments, the laughter, the conversations that ensues while the game is going on.
It is not wise to get so busy and leave him all alone to watch his football. Get interested; learn the names…and you will be amazed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to advance my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, help me to be a wife indeed.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Support your spouse all the way.
