Dear singles, It’s vital we don’t compare ourselves with one another. That is why this topic is being taught. We started yesterday and we looked at reasons you cannot compare yourself with others. You can read it here.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV)
Dear singles, these are the following things to do to become free from comparison traps?
1. Know who you are in God To overcome comparison traps, you have to know who you are in God! Declare your stand in God and keep confessing that.
2. Acknowledge the good things in you. The scriptures says
That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. (Philemon 1:6 KJV)
When you recognize and acknowledge every good thing in you, your gifting and talents, the communication of your faith or the effectiveness of your spiritual life will become a reality.
3. Fill yourself with God’s word To deal with comparison traps, you have to keep filling yourself with God’s word. The word of God is like a mirror.
But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. (2 Corinthians 3:18 KJV)
When you begin to read and study God’s word, you will be changed into the picture of that which God shows you in His word. You will be free from comparing yourself with other mortals.
4. Learn to praise God for all things. Learn to praise God always and appreciate Him for what He has done and what He is doing in your life! At the root of comparison trap is an ungrateful heart. As you begin to genuinely appreciate God for His mercies and His blessings, you will be severed from unnecessary pressure to compare yourself with others.
I pray for you this morning and by the Spirit of God, I declare that all wrong spirits behind competitive jealousy lose their power over you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of competitive jealousy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Declare over your life your freedom from all wrong spirits
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, (Jude 1:24 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Free yourself form all comparisons from today
Well, we have finally come to the end of our series on handling stress in marriage.
In our final series, I will be talking about
Ungratefulness
The whole bible is from the old testament to the new testament has several instances where gratitude, Thanksgiving, the gratefulness of heart is encouraged and even commanded.
The human heart has the capacity to be ungrateful and to forget where we were and where we were coming from. Once we get relieved, we are quick to forget the hands that held us up.
Now, I would like to write today about gratitude to God and gratitude to those who were there for us and how it helps in handling stress in marriage.
If we don’t learn to show appreciation and train ourselves to be thoughtful enough to show gratitude, we will stress our partners.
No matter how difficult your spouse is, we can still choose to be grateful to God for them. Someone said, don’t complain you have an headache, thank God that you even have a head.
How true this is. On matter our condition, the place of praise and thanksgiving will still remain intact. We may however, choose not to see it or cease the opportunity to be grateful.
Let check out few places in the bible we were admonished to live a thankful life.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. Psalms 100:4 NLT
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 NLT
And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20 NLT
And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:15 NLT
We are encouraged in scriptures to show gratitude to God in everything and at all times.
If you think, you will be able to thank. If you think that you didn’t create yourself, you can’t sustain yourself, the breadth that you breadth you didn’t provide it for yourself, the hair on your head, you didn’t put it there, that you go to work and come back meeting everything intact is because God is a merciful God.
So when you think of all the goodness of the Lord you should return gratitude to Him.
If you are grateful for the many things God has done for you, it will also flow also in gratitude to others. It is the same heart it takes to be grateful to God that it takes to be grateful to others.
A spouse who is always complaining and has an entitlement mentality is a pain in the neck.
When a couple learn to appreciate each other in little things and show gratitude for efforts and every little attempt to improve, there will be bliss.
It takes a heart of understanding to give thanks. Someone said when you are thankful your tank will be full. This is the one of the best things to do when handling stress.
Everything dries up in an atmosphere of complaint.
Don’t put the strain on your marriage rather put the strain off your marriage.
I hope we have learnt one or two things from our series.
Your marriage is a living entity, and as such you don’t want to do things that will quench the fire of passion.
I pray if any marriage is being besiege by stress or its effect, God will cause peace to reign in Jesus name
Okay, you know what you want to become. You have discovered your passion for taking care of animals or painting or something else. It’s time to move on. It’s time to learn.
Start taking the steps that will move you closer to achieving your dreams. This is about getting education. It could be formal or informal.
If your dream is to be a painter, you need to take classes in art. These classes will expose you to the world of art – artists, art principles, art styles, etc. Knowing these things will help you become a better artist. You need to learn. Applying all you have learnt coupled with your talent, will further make you create great artworks and your fame spread far and wide over the world.
Just like Samuel in the bible, he had to learn under the prophet Eli before he could become a prophet too. When Samuel first heard the voice of God, he thought it was Eli calling him. It was only after going to Eli that he was told what to do and who was calling Him
It’s going to take time for you to become excellent at what you want to become. Learning doesn’t take place in a day, but over a particular period of time.
Learning is important as you dream big. You must learn.
May the Lord expose you to the best learning experiences in your quest towards greatness, Amen.
Prayer:
Lord, help me as I learn to become what I desire to be. Give me the best teachers, schools, and experiences. In Jesus’ name, amen.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV)
Why would the Bible say that falling into comparison trap is foolish?
Here are few reasons
1. You are unique You are uniquely created. There are over seven billion people on planet earth and yet nobody else has an exact match of your fingerprints. You have been uniquely packaged for a specific assignment on earth. It is foolhardy then for one to compare himself with another.
2. You have different assignments Everybody has a unique purpose to fulfill on earth. God told Jeremiah that
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. (Jeremiah 1:5 KJV)
Your purpose precedes your creation. That is how powerful it can get! Everything you need on earth to fulfill your purpose was packaged into you while God is creating you. You are not inferior, you are gifted and you only need to discover it!
3. You have a different life span Some people would have achieved so much by thirty that you are wondering how they are able to do so many things in a few years. But then before they are fifty, they are out of this world. Some people are great achievers too, just that they are latecomers. Their limelight begins when they are over forty or fifty! Stop comparing yourself with what others are doing, focus on God to help you do what you are supposed to do!
4. You will weary yourself When you compare yourself, you will end up getting tired because you will be drawn to do what you are not gifted to do. You will want to impress others and you will soon get tired of trying to do that!
5. You will be distracted The comparison trap breaks your focus. It gets you on the wrong lane of purpose. It is a wasted and futile effort with no reward from God.
Tommorrow, I will show you practical ways to become free from comparison traps.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of competitive jealousy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Declare over your life your freedom from all wrong spirits
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, (Jude 1:24 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Free yourself form all comparisons from today
I will continue from where I stopped yesterday. We have been looking at different types of stressors and how we can avoid them. How these stressors cause stress and strain in our relationship with our spouse.
We looked yesterday at how unforgiveness can be a sources of unhappiness in marriage. It can cause a lot of tension between couples.
Today, we are moving on to
8. Not being open and transparent.
Marriage is translated H.O.T, honest, open and transparent. Husband and wife should be naked and not ashamed.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Genesis 2:25 KJV There should be no shame whatsoever between husband and wife. If both understand their position in covenant and how God sees them.
There should be zero inhibitions. We should be 100%/vulnerable to each other
It is very stressful when as husband and wife you censor what you have to say, walk as though on an egg shelf, hide, be secretive, tell packaged truth, sometimes tell little lies, structured lies, and all manner and shades of lies.
It is frustrating to have a spouse who is always suspecting you.
I want us to know that the devil is at the root of every kind of suspicion. If this is happening in our marriage, God will grant us victory and every storm will cease in Jesus name.
The devil hates marriage and unity between husbands and wives. This kind of stress can cause strain on the marital union. It could be handled by both husband and wife working together correcting their wrongs and trusting God for the covenant of oneness to be appropriated in their lives and marriage.
9. Unrealistic expectations.
These are the things we expect from our spouse which cut across as being over the board or giving the present situation may be difficult to meet.
Our spouse should try and they are under obligations to meet our needs. But there are some needs that are not humanly possible.
This usually happens when either of the spouses is selfish and inconsiderate. If for example the husband or the wife already has a particular mould he/she wants for his spouse and then try to force the spouse into that mould. That will be an unrealistic expectation.
This is capable of causing frustration. I will stop here today and continue tomorrow on these stressors by God’s grace.
May God grant us the spirit of forgiveness to all that has offended us in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
