Its possible to enjoy your marriage. In marriage, there are pressures. Pressures of raising a family, of taking care of your spouse, of taking care of the children, of paying bills, and many more. All these are coupled with pressures from work and career. If one is not careful, marriage will be one strenuous, stressful and tiring adventure.
It is deliberately then, that you have to decide to live life to the fullest. You just have to make up your mind that in the midst of all the pressures, there will be pleasures. It is a decision to remain joyful irrespective of whatever situation you might be going through. You simply make up your mind to defuse pressures with laughter, for laughter doeth well like medicine
Pro 17:22 (MSG) A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired.
Having a depressing disposition, unhappy tendencies, habitual despondency, uncontrollably bad moods are enough to leave the bones tired.
Since you have to cook anyway, why not decide to cook while enjoying yourself
Since you are going to wash the car, decide to wash while having a nice time.
Since the kids would always be around and going nowhere, enjoy yourselves and let them enjoy themselves too.
Doing things grumbling, complaining, and being unhappy in marriage is self-punishment. Decide to enjoy yourselves as a couple. Satisfy each other right into the bedroom!
I pray for your marriage, God will help you indeed in Jesus name. At every point of pressure, God will bring succor, His healing balm, and restore you in Jesus name.
Your marriage is blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to enjoy my marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, take away every foolishness from our home
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Php 1:9 (KJV)And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment;
What do you do when things seem tough? There are times when everything just seems okay. Life is just good. You look at your bank account and smile. There are cars in the garage. The children are doing well, nice school. Your spouse is just so nice. The money keeps rolling into your account. No stress.
During weekends you have all the time with your family. During holidays, you and the family get to travel out of the country.
Your wife comes home on time, prepares a good meal. Your house is really yours and it is fine. It has all things set. The generator, fridge, freezer, microwave oven, dishwasher, washing machine, everything is set.
You look around and you are so grateful and fulfilled, not asking for anything. This looks like that perfect life everybody prays for. Everything is just working right. You have no prayer points except that God should bless your friends and neighbors.
Well, many of us are not there yet. In fact, many are still far from there. Many are at the stage where they are trusting God, praying to God for one thing or another, where they don’t have it all together. In fact, they are at the opposite of life is good.
At such times, one has to hold on, be patient, Be thankful and grateful, keep at what you know works, and give God praise. Be a God praiser. Of all the things that would have made you complain, praise God instead.
Turn it into a praise report. Let your voice be loud and clear in praises. It is when joy withers that prosperity and testimony withers.
When as a married couple, your home seems like nothing is happening. It’s time to turn on the volume of your praise and thanksgiving.
Jesus got to the tomb of Lazarus, he was met with an impossible situation. He gave thanks and rejoiced. In the feeding of the 4,000 where he only had a lad’s supper, he gave thanks.
When the going gets rough, it’s time to get to thanks and praise. You have enough to complain about. Things are not working but give thanks. When you give thanks, things will begin to open up and yield their abundance.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I give thanks, no matter what happens.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let me see that despite every thing you can work a miracle of provision
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Php 4:19 (KJV) But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be thankful. Be praise-ful
We startedlooking at this all-important topic yesterday. “How to relate with in-laws without strife” We looked at 2 scenarios and we will look at more scenarios today.
It is impossible to deal with all possible scenarios but this is just to help you draw wisdom from them and know that you are not alone.
There are no custom-made problems. You just have to draw the needed wisdom and handle your own situation.
Scenario 3 Ronke’s mother-in-law is a good woman and she has heard a lot of good reports from her husband about how she single-handedly raised her son and sent him to the University against all odds. So, naturally, Ronke was happy when Tunji announced that mama was coming to spend the rest of her life with them in the city. Unknown to Ronke was that mama was very petty.
They were all excited to welcome mama to her new home and she loved it in the city. Mama would always express her view and air her opinion which Ronke didn’t mind until it was getting too much.
Ronke likes flowers and would always buy flowers for decorating the sitting room. Mama would ask how much she bought them and would complain that they were too expensive since it was not food. Mama would complain whenever Ronke went to the stores and came home with nylons of household needs. She would ask how much each item cost and Ronke would tell her only for mama to scream of wastage.
Tunji would always wake up early to prepare breakfast because the nature of her job is quite strenuous and need extra sleep to be refreshed of the next day’s job. This mama frowned at seriously and even took offense at.
In other for her son not to do this, mama will wake up early to prepare breakfast. During breakfast, mama would look at her with displeasure and this continued until Ronke decided to be eating out. Tunji noticed this and called his wife to order.
Mama too noticed and all the time something went wrong between mama and Ronke, mama would go inside her room and sob. This was getting on Ronke’s nerves and Tunji was in a dilemma.
What should be done?
To ask a parent-in-law to stay with you has a lot of disadvantages especially a long-term stay. Before they come, the husband and wife should be in agreement. The husband must promise to protect the wife. After much discussion, if there is no other option, she might come to stay, but not after all options have been exhausted. They might look at the option of sending money to her regularly, get her a house help etc
If she would eventually stay, the husband must always be ready to defend his wife at the slightest opportunity. She must not come in between them. She must be made to mind her business and know that this is her son’s matrimonial house.
The husband and wife must be very prayerful and patient to accept her and her excesses.
Scenario 4 Bode’s father-in-law is in a cult. At first, they didn’t know but just felt he was unnecessarily hard on Bode. He showed little or no compassion for them when they first got married and had financial crisis. He had the money but was not just disposed to helping them.
Bode first noticed that each time they took the children for a visit to see grandpa outside town, they will be down with fever. Each time he also comes visiting the same thing happens.
It was difficult for them to stop visiting. Kemi was not happy especially because it would mean not seeing her mother who was more than an angel to them. They also noticed that the father-in-law would always give the children money.
After such gift of money, they would notice a financial hardship at that period. This would last for a while and go after they have prayed. This went on for a while and this usually caused conflict between them.
What should be done?
They should reduce their visits and if confronted for not visiting, they should say they are very busy. They should minimize their visits to only important occasions and should not sleepover. The children should be protected and once given money, it should be given away.
The wife should find other means of communicating with her mum especially since she had been good to them.
The husband should be very prayerful, avoid quarrels with his wife and understand her sentiments. He should try and get his wife to his side on every decision.
They should both pray for divine intervention.
You will always find different situations in different homes. No two situations are exactly the same but may have similar situations. Follow through with wisdom, be patient, mature, and godly.
Remember, you too will be a parent-in-law someday. Every action is a seed.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I am wise as regards all in-law issues.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, teach me your ways as regards my in-law issues
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his own wife.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to handle every in-law issues in your marriage with God’s wisdom
There are a lot of questionsabout in-laws that some of us might need answers to. An In-law issue is a very complicated one that one needs a lot of wisdom to address. You love your spouse very much, you don’t want to hurt or offend them, and yet there are issues with his/her parents.
They have been the ones taking care of your spouse before your spouse met you, so they cannot be wrong. They are flawless. They are saints, so does your spouse see them. How do you handle them in such a way that it doesn’t cause frictions? We will try and look into some of these issues.
Scenario 1 She grew up with her mum in Kaduna, who has been taking care of her ever since her dad traveled to South Africa when she was 12 years old. She is the firstborn and has been very close to her mum since then. Now she is married. Her mother does not understand that she is married. They live close to each other and their mum visits them every day. The husband is infuriated and irritated each time he sees her. She even passes the night and spends weeks with them.
Initially, she helps with the daughter. The husband complains a lot about this but the wife feels he is taking things too seriously. The wife, who is a Medical Doctor, is sure divided between her mum and her husband. Her time is divided, her attention, her finances, her care, she is divided in spirit, soul, and body.
Her mum will often take her time talking with her. She enters their room and she has no boundaries whatsoever. She gets on the husband’s nerve so much that they often have open confrontations. Instead of the mother seeing that she is intruding, she sees it as enemies not wanting her to stay with her daughter. The husband has instructed his wife a number of times about her mother but only falls on deaf ears. She claims ‘will I send my mother away?’
What should be done?
This is a clear case of over-familiarity. The bond between the mother and her daughter is so close, more so that she is more or less separated from her husband who has not been home for many years.
The husband should be patient and use a lot of wisdom while being firm. While they are looking for another accommodation far away from where the mother lives, the husband should try and reduce their dependency on her.
The husband should be very strict and put certain instructions and rules in place. The husband should also be very prayerful and very patient. No matter what, he should not allow himself to be provoked.
Scenario 2 The husband is the first born and lived with his parents before he got married. He was to get a house after the wedding but one week became six months.
The wife is not finding it funny but she tries her very best to be a good daughter in-law. The wife leaves her job as a Pharmacist in Abuja to stay with her husband in Ogun state where he leaves with his parents.
The wife doesn’t have a job yet in the new place and she is frustrated. They fight, quarrel and the husband concludes she’s not been patient enough. The husband’s job is not that stable so he doesn’t know whether he will settle in Ogun state, Abuja or outside the country.
The problem is with the mother in-law. She is so attached to the son. Her body language is that they should stay and keep living with them.She behaves like her son’s wife. She takes care of him, asks what he will eat as though the wife does not exist. She competes with the wife over him and for his attention
What should be done?
The husband has to try as much as possible and get a house in where he plans to settle down. Even if it is a room, he needs to take a drastic decision because it is obvious his wife is running out of patience. With that distance, they can reduce their proximity to the mother. They will still remain in touch through regular calls.
The wife should be full of prayers and very patient at this time not to do anything she will later regret. She should be calm and try harder to endure till it’s over.
They also need counsel and should be guided all the way.
Tomorrow, we will consider more scenarios and pick out lessons from them.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive wisdom to handle all in-law issues.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, give me wisdom and discernment to handle all in law issues.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his own wife.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to handle every in-law issues in your marriage with God’s wisdom
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY 2 Chronicles 28; 2 Kings 16-17
This morning I prophesy to you, the womb of your life shall not be empty. Receive the power to experience fruitfulness in your marriage in the name of Jesus
This prayer is not just for married women only looking for the fruit of the womb but for every man and woman who wants to be fruitful, to multiply and to fulfill destiny in life. God abhors fruitlessness and you will see God in scriptures opening wombs and causing them to conceive and bear children.
I am persuaded this morning that if you are trusting God for your own miracle child, just hold on to God. He is ever faithful to do that which He has promised.
Every womb is destined to carry babies, that is God’s intention, so for the womb not to fulfill that purpose is an error. Now, your womb is that part of you that makes you function in the class of God.
Your womb is that God ordained part of you where you conceive God given ideas, where your brain child is nurtured and ready to be birthed. It is that part of you that connects you to divinity making you relevant and a celebrity on earth. Your womb is that place where the greatest miracle of all time takes place. It is a part of you God has access to, where you share in His ability to create.
Your womb shall not be barren or empty. God’s blessing and favor will come upon your life and you will accomplish all your heart desires. You will fulfill life and destiny. Your life will turn out beautiful. You will be celebrated and relevant in this life. Generations after you will refer to you.
You will reach the zenith of your life. You will not be cut off in the midst of your days. Like Esau, you will not trade your glory for a morsel of bread. You will not offer your glory on the altar of pleasure.
So shall it be for you and yours.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am fruitful. I will conceive
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, I receive the grace to be fruitful in all areas
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
“You’re here to bear fruit, reproduce, lavish life on the Earth, live bountifully!”” (Gen 9:7, MSG)
