Most of the time, we get so much information that we do not care to be grounded in what we think we know and sometimes, head knowledge is different from real knowledge. You don’t know something until you are doing it.
So please don’t get itching ears as the Bible says for just what’s new. Let’s take time to be grounded and think about what I am writing about.
We have looked at
1. Know your spouse’s temperament
2. Don’t take each other for granted.
We will look at:
3. Don’t waste your energy being overly angry at your spouse.
We all get angry at our spouses. Our spouses do things we consider childish, silly, stupid, annoying, disobedient, etc, but please don’t fuss over any matter for so long.
The Bible told us to be angry but not to sin. Let the sun not go down on your anger.
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Eph 4:26
When we have these negative emotions, they do more harm than good. We are to forgive our spouse and not allow a root of bitterness.
Don’t let us dwell on the negative things they do. If not we give place to the devil and we will allow unforgiveness, hatred, suspicions, malice, wrath, etc
Anger in marriage weakens our bonds in marriage. We all can testify to the time we were angry at our spouses and would not talk to them. Sometimes, we are even on the same bed but wouldn’t talk to each other.
You may feel justifiable but you know what, little demons are rejoicing and having a nice time in your home and marriage. If this is not controlled on time, it may lead to some other negative effects.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Take time to think about what we are angry about. Really some of the time, it is not worth it. We want to get rid of as many negative emotions as possible from our lives.
Be angry if you must be but please get over it on time and move on to becoming a better person with a good attitude. After all, we are all a work in progress.
May God grant us more understanding.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY We root out negative emotions from our marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Help me, Lord to extend Mercy to my spouse in forgiveness
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Forgive your spouse on time and don’t be angry
We started yesterday on this topic and we have looked at
1. Know your spouses temperament:
This will reduce a lot of tension, hurt and frustrations in marriage.
Today, we will be looking at
2. Don’t take yourselves for granted.
Our needs differ from each other. Part of the reasons we married was for companionship. We have to be gentle and patient when dealing with each other.
We must take time off our busy schedule to be with each other. Just sit around your spouse and talk.
Talking could be therapeutic and prevent certain bodily ailments. Before any issue gets out of hands, we should have talked about it.
Let nothing mean more than our spouses. Some have valued business, office projects, friends, money, party etc more than our spouse.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Every other thing we achieve and do, the wealth we amass and the associate or business partner we get will all leave us, but the one person who will faithfully stay with us is our spouse.
Let us all build long lasting and strong relationship of love, respect and understanding. It is going to take hard work on our part but on the long run it will be worth it.
Take time to know the state of your spouse. Some people just sleep and wake up together, they don’t know their spouse, their challenges or what is going on with them.
If and when our relationship with our spouse is good and cordial, God will ensure that we prosper. The Holy Spirit will grant us the wisdom and give us divine connections to prosper us.
God help us all as we make efforts to meet each other’s needs.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am becoming more loving and caring to my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Help me, Lord to take time out to love my spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Think of ways you could be more loving
So many times our marriage is not what we would have wanted it to be.
Most of us have childhood dreams of a wonderful family, loving and understanding spouse, a beautiful peace to live in and everything rosy.
In our imagination of marriage and family life, we never dreamt or thought of hardship, lack, quarrels, arguments and problems. We sometimes think to ourselves, ‘I never bargained for this in marriage’.
God never promised us that life (marriage inclusive) was going to be a smooth ride. He only promised us ‘he will be with us’. He said ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’ Heb 13:5
He has promised us all that we need to weather the storm. He promised wisdom, Grace, peace, His word, the blood of Christ etc. But we have to make up our minds to use all these.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Here are few helpful hints you can use as a married couple
1. Know your spouses temperament.
I will suggest every couple read about temperaments. Know what your temperament is and endeavor to know your spouse temperament is.
You cannot run away from who you are. You can only improve on it and become spirit controlled temperament.
I remember reading TimLahaye, it literally changed the way I saw myself and my husband. I know why I behave the way I do and I know why my husband behave the way he does. Knowing your temperaments, you can now work on improving yourself.
Joyce Meyer put it like this, “we are all a work in progress and we can enjoy our lives and marriage on our way to becoming a better you”
I will continue tomorrow by God’s Grace. God bless our home and marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am becoming a better me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Give me understanding oh Lord.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
One basic ingredient that makes relationships work out is understanding.
Even after the will of God is known and you are sure this person is God’s perfect will for you, you still have to live to understanding each other.
Understanding is like the Space Suit the astronauts wear to make them survive in space. The atmospheric condition in space requires a special outfit that will sustain them there.
Here on earth you can survive with your tuxedo suit but not in the space.
It is therefore imperative for people in relationships to seek after understanding.
First the understanding of the relationship from God’s perspective and then seeking to understand yourselves.
Little wonder the Bible says in
Pro 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
God is telling you, get wisdom, now that you have gotten engaged, get understanding.
Without understanding and wisdom, the courtship becomes like a court where there are always arguments, criticisms, being judgmental, and the likes.
To understand yourselves you have to have basic knowledge of your temperamental differences, man and woman differences, background differences, and the personality uniqueness of each other.
For us when we were courting back then in the early nineties, once we read the book on temperament by Tim LaHaye, our level of understanding increased.
Things that used to get us angry before simply didn’t anymore because now we could understand the reason behind certain behaviors.
Now, it wasn’t that we explained away our weaknesses and character flaws, we confronted ourselves but with love and respect.
The understanding we gained just gave us another perspective helping us to see each other from a better viewpoint.
1Co 13:4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
Love basically is patient and kind.
Without understanding, you can’t be patient and kind with your lover.
May God grant you understanding in understanding your loved one in Jesus name.
May your relationship be blessed in Jesus name.
This week will be fruitful for you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the spirit of understanding
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 32:8 (KJV) But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding.
Good morning everybody, we are continuing our topic of love language in marriage. Couples should go all out to speak the language of their spouse unreservedly since our aim in marriage is to place our spouse.
It will be good to always look for creative ways to speak the love language our spouse understands. Marriage is a place where we serve each other. We don’t think of ourselves first. We allow and trust God through our spouse to take care of us
That is why it becomes imperative for us to learn and understand our spouse love language.
3. Words of Affirmation
Here, words mean a big deal to your spouse. In speaking his/her love language, you want to be careful of what is said, how it is said, when it is said, your body language, your tone, pitch and everything surrounding the words you say.
Here, it means a lot to your spouse when you give words of encouragement. Words that will uplift him/her. You might not be able to provide all the money in this world but your reassuring words makes them feel loved.
Your thoughtful words keeps him/her going. In times of stress, needs, bills to pay, weakness etc, your words are like magic.
Speaking negative, derogative, harsh and hard words or sermonizing or nagging your spouse could be counterproductive.
Please watch for those other than your spouse that speak gently, softly and tenderly to you. Avoid them, it could be a danger spit for the devil to exploit. An emotional affair could develop if you are not
discerning and careful.
Never look forward to anyone’s company or enjoy any ones company other than your spouse.
4. Quality time
If the love language of your spouse is quality time, then love mean time. Not only quantity but quality of time.
Your spouse will appreciate being present with him/her. Your presence and not just present matters to them.
Create memories. Go out for outings together, dinners, vacations, go to seminars together and just spend time together. However, what you spend your time on also matters.
Quality time means time of getting to know your spouse better, listening them talk, being sensitive to them, trying to understand them and knowing how to react and respond.
The lord will help is all. If could be challenging since usually opposite temperament will always attract and some time our love languages are different or we want our love language expressed in a different way from that of our spouse.
Our male female differences, the background we grew up in and other factors are responsible for this.
As a matter of rule, watch out for people of the opposite sex you spend too much time with.
5. Gifts
Your spouse feels love is not complete until it is expressed in buying of gifts. Something must be given to show you care. It has to cost you. More often than not, the thoughtfulness behind the given will mean more to your spouse. So its nor about the gift, but you taking the pains of know the appropriate gift to buy at what time or occasion. Example you wife just deliver a baby, and you got her a a sexy gown. She probably can’t even wear it because of breast feeding.
Find out our favorite color, scent, her size, her preference, her need. What is the point buying your wife high heels when she is pregnant or buying your husband an expensive office suitcase when he needs a belt and doesn’t go to office but works from home.
In all these love language, we all need the help of the holy spirit to lead and guide us. Lest our good works become evil spoken of. We get offended and not appreciated because it didn’t meet our deepest desire.
The holy spirit is our helper, when we call on him he will help us even in performing our duties of speaking our spouse’s love language.
May God grant us understanding.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I learn to speak my partners love language.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for wisdom to speak the love language of your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:25 ESVHusbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Speak your spouses’ love language
