Every husband musthave loved the wife they married, if not they won’t be in marriage. That you are married shows that you loved each other. Whether the love grew or diminished is now another thing.
If the love has diminished, our aim is to help you find it back. But part of the way to find back this love is to try and care of your wife. Care is spelt being kind and gentle with her. Care also means being deliberate in looking out for the one you love, being concerned for, or about her well-being spirit, soul, and body.
It is about the little things we do to the wife we love that go a long way to show how much we care. There are several other little ways you can show that you care and love your wife, in words and in actions.
For example, telling your wife she is beautiful. This is very simple but it goes a long way in affecting her esteem.
Some wives feel worthless and not able to maximize their potentials because all they hear from their men are negative words. You can replace that with positive words of affirmation.
Words are very important to women. Remember, when she was created the first encounter was with words. She was spoken to by the man in her life. She was told how wonderful she was and how good it is to have her around.
So, it applies that the source of a thing is the sustenance thereof. God showed us that example. For a woman to function optimally, words, positive encouraging words have to be spoken to her.
Another way to care for the woman you love is by showing concern over all her affairs. Show that you care. Show that you are interested. For example, some husbands never care whether their wives have eaten. It’s simple, but my husband asks me if I have eaten from time to time, especially when I am at work.
Ask your wife how she is feeling, especially, if she is the quiet type. You will be surprised by the weight of emotions she’s carrying. Ask her if anything is bothering her. Let her know she has someone to count on. Don’t let that role be taken over by someone else. Be the man and the keeper of her soul. Ask about her welfare spiritually. Does she have certain fears? Ask about her future plans and aspirations. Tell her to go do some checkups medically. Be there for her. Show her care and concern.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” (Hebrews 12:15, KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Share the post above. Invite your friends to join KHC
Yesterday, westarted on the topic “How to tend your marriage” and we talked about one major way to make your marriage enjoyable. That is, to know the difference between a garden and a farm.
Our marriage should be viewed as a garden, not a farmland.
Below are few ways we can tend our marriage.
1. First discover the type of person your spouse is. Is your marriage a garden or a farm land?
2. This discovery has to be done by both of you discussing it.
3. Know what your partner requires you to make your marriage work.
4. Set out to learn about these requirements.
5. Never assume you know all it takes to make your marriage work.
6. Be focused on making it work.
7. Be ready and humble enough to learn.
8. Always take your spouse along and check with each other if you are making progress. For example, the proof you are on the right track is when you see the flowers in your garden blossom.
9. Don’t stop doing those things that produced the results.
10. Master the technique and do it over and over again, till it becomes part of you.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will blossom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me the wisdom I need to tend my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Son 4:16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
We’ll continue from the devotional we started yesterday “Here is how to love your spouse”
3. Learn About how a man and a woman think
Apart from loving God, you need to discover how men and women think. This will help you in consciously following the pattern of their thought process. There is a way peculiar to how men think. Men are logical being, they process things and see things from the logical point of view.
Men also think in box-like patterns. That is why they love things that are box-like. They love television, football, mobile phones, cars, etc. A man cannot do too many things together, they can’t multitask, like women. An understanding of how men think will help you understand them.
Women are emotional beings. They see things from the emotional point of view. That’s why they cry mostly. A woman hurts deeper than a man.
They think in spaghetti-like patterns. That’s why a woman can have all her emotions juggling up and down. A woman can multitask and do so many things at the same time. This knowledge can solve some major issues in learning to love and understand your spouse.
4. Learn your spouses’ love language
We have dealt with love languages in depth in the past. Kindly refer to it for more about love languages. There will be a primary way your spouse feel loved. Find out that language and speak it. It is an amazing way to love your spouse when you speak their love language.
5. Be yourself, don’t pretend
In loving your spouse, you don’t have to pretend. We are all a work in progress. We are all getting better by the day. I can say I am getting better at loving my own husband now than before. The things that used to get me feeling bad are probably not a major concern to me anymore. I have become more matured.
So, if you are not there yet, don’t pretend you are there. You will soon discover you can’t fake it for long and then you will be back at square one. Go at your pace and don’t pretend. In fact, love never pretends, love is always transparent.
We will continue tomorrow with the concluding part of “how do I love my spouse?”
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to love my spouse. I have God’s wisdom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to know and understand how to love my spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Finally, all [ of you ] should be of one and the same mind (united in spirit), sympathizing [ with one another ], loving [ each other ] as brethren [ of one household ], compassionate and courteous (tenderhearted and humble).” (1Pe 3:8, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start loving appropriately
How do you know how to love your spouse? This is an all-important question that we all try to answer ever since we got married. We all are still trying to answer it and we will still be answering it till death do us part. It is an awesome truth that only death is supposed to part husband and wife. Apart from that, no other thing is permitted to separate us.
Some of us need to learn and be taught how to love our spouses. No matter how complex they are, you have the capacity to love your spouse with the love of God. It is actually spiritual to love your husband/wife. There is nothing carnal in loving your spouse.
These are some ways
1. Love God first of all This is the very first step in loving your husband/wife, love God. A spouse that doesn’t love God cannot love his/her spouse. God is love and it takes a heart that knows God to love. You love God by loving His Word and doing His will.
When you love God this way, it becomes easier for you loving your spouse because you would have developed the capacity to love and put the flesh under. Human nature is generally selfish and does not want to love unconditionally.
God expects us to love our spouse unconditionally.
2. Know that you need God all the way Loving God is not something you do half half-heartedly or once and for all or once in a while. Because you cannot fully know God completely, you have to keep yearning for more of him. The more you discover about God, the more you want to love him. So in loving God, you become a God chaser.
I have seen in my own experience that, the more I chase after God the better I love my husband
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to love my spouse. I have God’s wisdom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to know and understand how to love my spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Finally, all [ of you ] should be of one and the same mind (united in spirit), sympathizing [ with one another ], loving [ each other ] as brethren [ of one household ], compassionate and courteous (tenderhearted and humble).” (1Pe 3:8, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start loving appropriately
This is a continuationof yesterday’s article where we talked about practical ways to show respect to your spouse in marriage
Here are practical ways to do this.
1. Know that your spouse is so very special before God. He/ she is costly and bought with the precious blood of Jesus. Jesus would have come to die for your spouse.
2. Do not yell at your spouse. You may be angry but never yell.
3. Allow freedom of expression. It is okay to be different; that is why you married in the first place. Men and women are meant to be different.
4. Let your spouse feel safe, secure and trusted by building mutual respect.
5. When you have opposing opinions which will happen most times, you listen. Your listening shows respect.
6. Respect that your spouse is worth listening to. He/ she has something vital to bring to the table.
7. Allow healthy space when it is needed, it shows respect. Let your spouse be by him/herself, have her own friends, her own things et cetera
8. Do not control one another. Your relationship is unhealthy when there is the slightest control. God asked us to love, not control. Jesus never controlled the church.
9. Both spouses should admit once they are wrong and sincerely seek for forgiveness. Swallow your pride and admit you are wrong and apologize.
10. Never treat one another shabbily, in private or public. Show appreciation for every little thing your spouse does. Don’t take each other for granted.
What other ways can you show respect to your spouse?
I will be expecting your replies in the comment box.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am submitted to my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to submit to my own spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 5:21(KJV) Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
