Today wewill be looking at the topic “Ten ways to show respect to yourselves in marriage”
Against contrary opinions, respect in marriage is mutual. People are of the opinion that respect for the husbands is a big deal. Yes, it is. Just as men do not want to be disrespected in private or public, so also women need a dose of respect.
Men can readily tell what a bruised ego is and in this part of the world. an average man will not tolerate to be disrespected in any form, method, shape or size. In other to have a relationship that is healthy and mutually beneficial, respect has to be mutual.
Some of us don’t even know when we are being disrespected. The gospel of men dominance has been preached for so long that women feel they are not worth much. that they are just worthless, less than good, helpless, weaker vessels.
Contrary wise, women have tremendous strength, ability, knowledge, wisdom and great dexterity. It takes great strength to be a mother and give birth to a child, to keep a home, multitask, submit to your husband and stay married. All these take great strength.
But if we are going to have a healthy marriage relationship we would know that submission to one another in the fear of God is essential. A man not submitted to Christ is a difficult man and hard to submit to.
This is not teaching or telling wives not to submit to their husbands. It is addressing that fact that marriage is meant to be mutually beneficial to both the husband and the wife.
Tomorrow, I will show us practical ways we can submit to one another in marriage.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am submitted to my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to submit to my own spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 5:21(KJV) Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Every wife should get to a point where no matter how loving and romantic and cordial they are with their spouse, they still give God his place. God deserves the first place in our lives and He wants to have all of our heart, mind, energy, and best of our beings. God is a jealous God and He will not share His glory with any other man, not even our husbands.
Our husbands, no matter how they love, if they cannot love us like Jesus, they cannot die for us. That’s why Jesus is the lover of our souls. He alone can love deeply and extravagantly.
If our husbands are godly, God will reveal to them how to love and treat us. But that also depends on how well they can receive from the Lord. Our spouses at the very best are still ‘human’. They are not given to meet all our needs. They can only try. God wants our attention, focus, love and worship.
You cannot beg to be loved. Rather look to God to meet your deepest emotional needs.
Most spouses don’t even understand their wives. We are so wired differently. So sometimes, they are not being wicked, they don’t just have a clue on how to love us the right way. That’s when God steps in. He wants to meet all our emotional, spiritual, social, physical needs. He knows us because He created us.
There some of our needs that we don’t even understand or can articulate in the right way or with the right words, making it difficult for even our husbands to try and meet. So take the frustration off your husband and off your marriage. Let your spouse do what he can do and allow God do what He can and wants to do.
Don’t let your esteem or self-worth come solely from your spouse. Your self-worth should come from God. You are very special to God. You worth so much to Him. You are Royalty. You are the apple of His eyes. God will bat an eye lid to protect you.
For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou was refused, saith thy God. Isaiah 54:5 – 6 KJV
The scripture in Isa 54:5 is telling us that thy Maker is thy Husband. God is speaking to us what it is. God is not just trying to be our husband or writing an application to be our husbands. We have to receive these words, believe it and walk in the light of it. We have to mediate on it so much until it becomes real to our hearts.
God is saying we are Mrs God! What a privilege! We are not just His princesses, we are married to Him. He is our maker. He understands us. He knows our wiring because He put them there. He knows what words to speak to us par time.
We are married to the Almighty, all powerful, the wealthiest on the earth and in heaven. Hallelujah! It’s so comforting and refreshing to know. God finds you so lovely, flawless and gorgeous.
So other women are being treated harshly by their husbands. They are oppressed, bullied and abused. God wants you to shift your focus from the hurt you are experiencing. Give that hurt to God your husband. He knows how to fix it. God is introducing Himself as the Lord of hosts. He has hosts to deploy to rescue you. You are Royalty, her Royal Majesty.
Never forget that. Find a way to always remind yourself that. I wear a tiny chain around my neck to remind me I am royalty. I am loved by God.
I will get into what it means to have God as your husband tomorrow by God’s grace.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR TODAY My God is my husband
PRAYER FOR TODAY Pray that you will experience the love of God
THOUGHT FOR TODAY Isa 54:5 (TLB)for your Creator will be your “husband.” The Lord Almighty is his name; he is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth.
ACTION PLAN FOR TODAY Study the bible reading for the day
I discussed the topic “How To Overcome Hurt In Marriage” yesterday and today, I will be concluding on the topic.
We established that the enemy often seeks to use the weapon of hurt to wrought his 3 fold agenda in marriages which is to steal, kill and destroy. No marriage is immune to the strategies and attacks of the enemy. He will often steal from our marriages, kill and snooze out life from our marriage and totally destroy all that our marriage stands for.
Hurt is a blessing blocker. When you are hurt, your heart cannot receive from God.
Getting rid of hurts and making sure your heart is guarded against any form of hurt that may arise. See the spiritual implication of hurt and what it can potentially do to your marriage.
If you don’t learn to handle your hurts the right way, it will lead to bitterness, which can lead to rage which can lead to all sorts of vices like murder.
There is a right way and a wrong way of handling hurts. Make sure you are not a victim to the deadly poison of hurt.
Some wrong and unhealthy ways to handle hurt include:
1. Vengeance or retaliation. This is when you allow the hurt to get at you so much that you act back based on the hurt. Retaliation could come in various ways, wanting to hurt your spouse back, or inflict pain.
2. Closing your heart We have a tendency to block our hearts as a way of protecting our hearts from further hurts.
3. Rehearsing or replaying the hurt We may also be in the rot of replaying the words or event that hurt us.
I know there are different levels and degree of hurt, but whichever, we have a responsibility of guarding our heart and we have a choice not to be hurt.
The best way to guard our heart against hurts is taking communion. Try it because it works so well. Take communion and plead the blood of Jesus over your heart.
Also take authority over the hurt. Exercise authority over words that cause hurts. Guard your heart against the effect of hurt using these two scriptures
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. Isaiah 54:17 KJV
Anytime there is a quarrel between couples and there are exchange of harsh words, you will do well to guard your heart against this hurt.
Even after you have made up and started talking, if not properly dealt with , you could still be nursing the hurt. Get rid of the hurt and don’t allow any root of bitterness defile you.
Let your heart be void of offence, bitterness or hurt against your spouse, siblings, parents, God, life, etc
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to be hurt. I refuse to be bitter.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to forgive those who hurt me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord . Isaiah 54:17 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to get rid of offense
I haveoften heard that those we love hurt us deeper than anyone else. Especially our spouse. I had felt it can’t be that bad.
This world is full of hurtful people. I think the hurt is deeper when in marriage you hurt yourselves and keep on hunting yourselves unless you made up your mind not to hurt.
Hurt is a decision. It is not based on your feeling. You have to make a conscious effort and decision against hurt. Some people have been hurt most years of their life.
That is what the devil wants. He is busy having a nice time stealing joy, peace, life, compassion, unity and love from families.
The point is, people, your spouse, and those you hold dear to you will not stop hurting you but you have to make up your mind you won’t allow the hurt get at you.
Hurtful words spoken are like the cutting of the sword especially if your spouse is a choleric. You cannot prevent people from misunderstanding you, people judging you falsely, lying about you etc.
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. Proverbs 12:18 KJV
From this scripture, you can pray for your spouse or of its a God ordained relationship or a relationship you can’t avoid. Pray that their tongues become the tongue of the wise that brings healing.
Hurt is like drinking poison and hoping your neighbour dies. That’s not going to happen. Hurts make you bitter. You can be bitter all your life if care is not taken. You will just see that 60 years of your life is gone without achieving much because of hurt and bitterness.
Let receive Grace from the Lord. Jesus was hated, misunderstood, lied against, misjudged, criticised, yet none of this affected him.
He choose to be immune against hurt. He kept His vision before His eyes. He choose between being powerful or being pitiful. He couldn’t possibly have died for humanity if He hated humanity. If he didn’t forgive on time, He couldn’t go to the cross.
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
Jesus knew we will be faced with hurt and made provision for it. We have to walk in our authority over hurts.
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord , and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord . Isaiah 54:17 KJV
You have to take charge of your emotions. Not even your feelings should be strong enough to stop you from fulfilling your purpose. You are only answerable to one. The one who died on the cross for you. When you face to face before Him on the judgement day, you will have no excuse to offer. Jesus passed through the same and was victorious. He overcame and gave you the victory. He gave the blood of Jesus, the Word, the shield of faith, communion etc.
You have to take the shield of faith which is the Word of God. Anytime words are spoken to you that are hurtful, lies, etc remind yourself and confession out loud and use it against the wile of the enemy.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Ephesians 6:16 KJV
Remember protect yourself against hurt and every negative emotions.
Protect yourself Gods way. There are negative ways of dealing with hurts. I will talk about that later.
We startedon the topic “These types of couples need urgent help” yesterday, we will continue today
4. Two people who are sentimental
When two people who are sentimental get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home. Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from sentimental point of view rather than principles.
In no time, they can ruin themselves because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments. They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
5. Two people who are angry
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody that has anger problems and who refuses to work at it.
An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
6. Two people who are deceptive
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out.
Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious. They are unapproachable and unreachable. But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth it wasting time on what would not work.
7. Two people who are unforgiving
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home and life.
Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker. If one of the couple is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier in resolving the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
Root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including children defiled.
The way out
So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate. Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective.
I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, be still in Jesus name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will grow in my relationship with my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be faithful to your partner
