A point of frustration could be deliberate or not. But if one is faced with the reality of your spouse frustrating you, what do you do?
Well, in this kind of situation, you just have to exercise patience. Have a lot of understanding and don’t react. Reacting will mean retaliating or giving it back to your spouse in the same coin or measure it is given to you.
If the frustration is as a result of some form of sickness or disease, you just have to pray to God for healing and the strength to bear your spouse’s burden.
You may be frustrated because you are not a patient person or because of temperamental differences, background differences or simply male – female differences.
If you are newly wedded, your frustration could be out of misunderstanding of the things you don’t like. Especially if you had a long distance courtship or relationship. The tendency is to want to either retaliate or withdraw from the source of your frustration or pain. Please don’t do this.
In marriage, you and your spouse are a team. United you stand and divided you fall. Know that whatever comes, you are still married and you intend to still remain married.
Let your point of frustration drive you positively to seeking help, change of character and into seeking God. You can start to pray for your spouse every day consciously. Lift your spouse up in prayer and it will be to your account.
When you are also at the point of frustration, don’t keep silent on each other and don’t seek friendship outside of the marriage. Some have done this and regretted their actions. This will only draw a big gap between the two of you. The more you grow apart, the more the gap grows and the more things get difficult.
Just know that marriage requires constant working at it. It requires daily commitment, communication and patience. There are times when all is well and rosy like heaven. There are other times when you just have to keep the flame ablaze and fan the flames.
The bottom line is, don’t give up on your marriage. Don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation. The frustration you are facing is only temporary. That phase will definitely fade away.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not frustrate my spouse. I am patient with him/her.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for grace to be patient with your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Genesis 2:24, KJV “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t give up on your marriage
Yea, we aregetting close to the end of discussing love languages and I hope you are getting blessed. If you have questions you may ask and at the end of the topic we will try and answer them.
It bears repetition, that it is the husband’s responsibility to love his wife. God commanded the husband to love his wife. What God commanded the wife is to respect and honor her husband.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Maybe it is because naturally, a wife loves her husband. What is not natural is for a husband to love. Men find it more difficult to show or express love. Women find it easy to love but difficult to respect. So God says focus on what is unnatural with you to do and get better at it as I give you strength. It is not going to be easy but once you are prepared to love your wife and ask God for strength, He will give you.
Your wife will sense love when you speak any one of these love languages. There will be one or at most two of these languages that will readily resonate with your wife. Be very tactical in discovering which one it is and start speaking it.
Note, it is not that you cannot express love by using any one of these languages, but we are looking at the one that best describes your wife’s love language.
The 5 love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical touch
We will look at the next one.
4. Gifts
In this love language, you have to be a giver and enjoy it. If this is your wife’s primary love language. It is a love language for the giving husband or let’s say the thoughtful husband. Even though not all rich husband express their love in this way. It is advisable to show your wife love this way if you want her full cooperation.
Here, the gift does not have to be expensive. It just has to be a gift. A box of chocolate, a bar of candy, something for her hair, a roll-on, soap, perfume, earrings and the list goes on and on.
However, the gift needs to be thoughtful. Your wife can’t need a perfume and you buy her a knife. It is not just buying anything. There are appropriate gifts and inappropriate gifts. There are also gifts that speak volumes and the ones that are casual gifts. There are gifts that show your thoughtfulness and there are gifts that reveal your absent mindedness.
You should not buy your wife a gift and you buy a shoe three times short her size. You buy a winter jacket in summer. It has to be meaningful, useful and thoughtful.
If your wife’s love language is expressed by giving her gifts, then it has to be consistent. Buy her gifts regularly, not once in a blue moon. Don’t let her receive one gift now and have to pray in tongues for months before you buy her another. Let it be as consistent as it can be especially since it is not expensive. It is better not to be expensive but consistent than expensive but inconsistent.
Let her special days not end without you buying her a gift. Your gifts mean so much to her. Each time she uses it or sees them, she is happy to know that you bought them for her.When she thinks of how many gifts you have bought for her, let her feel grateful to God for you. Her love tank is full, knowing that you love her.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my wife consistently
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, empower me, to love my wife consistently.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:16 A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Buy a gift for your wife today
I purposelydid not use the word ‘Love Language’ but used your wife’s ‘Language’ so that you can see the similarities. It is easier for us to relate to ‘your wife’s Language’ than it is to relate to love language.
Just as you can never think of marrying a wife who does not speak your language, it is ridiculous for you not to speak your wife’s love language.
Every woman has a love language. That love language is what she understands, is used to, and can relate to. In this language, she understands and can sense love.
Until you speak this language, she cannot sense or understand that you love her. It is like speaking Japanese to an English woman. It does not make any sense, and you sure are not making sense to her.
A woman knows that you love her when you communicate this love in a language that she understands. The problem is that most men are communicating this love to their wives in another language.
Note that there is something in every woman that craves being loved by her husband. Yes, she can be loved by her colleagues, friends, or siblings but there is something about the love of her husband. It may be because it is the way God ordered it from the beginning.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.
If husbands want to be found fulfilling their primary and basic role in the marriage covenant, it is good for each husband to learn to speak his wife’s language.
It makes a lot of sense if you at least become conversant with your wife’s language. It helps better communication in the marriage institution. Just like in our illustration of the English woman and the Japanese language speaking to her.
There are five basic love languages. We will look at each one so you can get a good understanding of each of them.
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Service
4. Gifts
5. Physical touch
All these love languages are to be understood if you want to love your wife on her own terms (in her own language) and not yours.
1. Words of affirmation.
If this is your wife’s love language, that just means that she likes to be spoken to. She may or may not be quiet, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that your words mean a lot to her. You have to be constantly speaking words of encouragement to her.
Appreciating her by commenting on her efforts, looks, achievements, and verbalizing your love must be regular.
She senses love when she’s been constantly spoken to. Her energy to move on comes by appreciating her and saying sweet words to her. When you don’t speak kind words to her, she doesn’t sense your love towards her as a husband. Your words must be kind.
If on the contrary, you speak harshly to her, she senses harshness rather than love and sensitivity.
We will continue tomorrow.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for wisdom in your marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise, you cannot pray effectively. ]” (1Pe 3:7, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Find out what her love language is
This morning we’ll be looking at the topic “This is what your husband wants from you”
If youthink anticipating Jeru trip with your spouse is a sin, then you are holier than God. When a man craves, longs anticipates, imagines, and sends SMS to his wife for the eventual Jeru trip later in the night, there is nothing wrong with that.
Religion may tell you that it is wrong. And then this need of the man becomes suppressed and then finds himself in some sexual sin with another.
You see, marriage does not address the lust problem. After you are married, these Jeru trip feelings will not go. You will see other ladies that are still beautiful, and you will still be barraged in your mind about exploring.
If you lack self-control; you will still find yourself messing around with other ladies. That is the quickest way to ruining yourself and your family.
So, what God does is to train you and to teach you how to put your body under. He trains you how to say “No” to compromise.
That is how to live long. That is how to preserve your family. That is how to please God. And this is why he tells you, don’t do it before marriage.
But in marriage, He says, don’t deny each other. What is unavailable to you as a single becomes always available after marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be faithful to my spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 8:37 (KJV) Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study agreement in the scripture. Use a concordance
