Be committed to the things of God. Don’t be so busy with your career or family life that you abandon your purpose and the assignment for which God created you. Make sure you pursue your purpose because that is where true riches and fulfillment lie.
5. Love or lust?
Be selfless! That is how your marriage will last. Let the love of God propel you in all you do. Let the love of God be shed abroad in your heart. Love her truly. Respect him indeed. That is the blueprint that keeps divorce away!
Respect means a lot to a man while love means a lot to a woman. Rather than go back and forth on who is right or wrong, go ahead with agape love, unconditional love and you will keep your home together.
6. Space and Forgiveness
Forgive easily. It is the way to go if you want your marriage to last. Practice advance forgiveness. Never hold your spouse in bitterness. Men, be patient with your spouse and make sure you love her genuinely.
Women, do not close up your spirit against your husband to a point you now live like strangers in your matrimonial home. Those are dangerous precursors to divorce!
7. Mentors
Adulterous relationships and extra-marital relationships are rooted in secrecy. The moment you can hide something from your spouse, you have planted a seed for chaos. Be open with each other. It kills the power of infidelity.
Learn to have a joint mentor who you trust, whom you can report yourselves to that will help you sort out issues that are beyond you. Take issues as they come and don’t store up hurts.
God will help you and give you grace in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in haste concerning my relationships. I will be led by God’s Spirit.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, guide my steps so that I will not start wrong relationships in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 2:10-12 KJV When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the qualities you want in a man and use it to pray.
I have been married for over 20 years and I can categorically tell you, love is not blind at all.
Love is a serious business, that you engage in with all your five senses intact and even the sixth one.
Sometimes ago, I was revisiting the marriage vows taken from a wedding I attended. I thought to myself, most people taking these vows don’t understand half of what they are saying. Then I felt like the wedding day sermon should be spent on explaining a little about the vows.
Many couples spend most of their time together praying. Is it that prayers or praying together is not good? Absolutely, it is 100% good.
Many other couples spend most of their time talking. Is it that talking is not good, (depending on what they are talking about). Absolutely, good.
Marriage is both spiritual and physical, so we have to take care of the spiritual aspect as well as the physical aspect. Talking to God will handle the spiritual aspect while talking together about issues will handle the physical aspect.
We cannot enjoy the marriage and maximize our full marital potential by engaging in one at the expense of another. We have to pray as though our marriage depended on our prayers and we also have to talk as though our marriage depended on it.
When I mean talk, I mean talk to yourselves, not about something or someone. All most couples do is talk about events, news, something or someone, they hardly talk about themselves. They simply gossip and that is all they do.
Most of your time together must be spent on talking about yourselves, leave the remaining to talk about other events or issues.
Love is no longer blind. Some of us had loose ends before marriage that has left us as prey to the enemy. We should not be afraid to talk and trash out issues after all, we get to know ourselves by asking and answering questions.
There has to be a balance between praying and talking. No matter how long you have been married, we should go back to asking ourselves pertinent questions, and write our discussions down. At least God wrote down His thoughts.
These serves as our projections, our values, our commitment. We get to know and understand each other’s expectations.
One of the major causes of problems in marriage is unmet expectations. We have expectations our spouse didn’t even know anything about. They are not aware of those expectations not to talk of meeting them.
Talk, ask questions. What are your expectations in marriage? What do you want from me? Were you in cult when you were in school? What is your vision in life? What do we do to avoid divorce? What do we do to have a blissful marriage? What can I do that you will never forgive me? And so many questions.
Keep asking questions and talking all through your marriage. Your words together coupled with your prayers are knitting your hearts together until the Twain became one flesh, and nothing will be able to put you asunder.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mat 19:6 (KJV)
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus name. May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My eyes of understanding are open.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me in every you can in the name of Jesus
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mat 19:6 (KJV)
Have you ever seen a Nollywood movie where the couple are close or seen a couple where the wife is so loving?
I am sure you also must have seen couples who just seem to be close but there is something that just doesn’t add up, they are in one way or another disconnected.
When there is a disconnect and you are sensitive, you just know it, you just pick it up and are able to discern it.
Either the wife is cheating or the husband is cheating or they are just not agreed. Well apart from both couples praying together, there are some practical things the wife can do to be a good wife. The kind of wife any husband will be proud to call his wife.
1. Be loyal to your husband 2. Make your husband and his affair matter to you 3. Seek to do whatever he likes and things that pleases him. 4. Be thoughtful of and about your husband. 5. Cook his meals, serve them yourselves and make it a special something 6. Be fun to be with every time 7. Be a defender of your spouse anytime and always 8. Be his cheerleader and make him feel good about himself always 9. Enjoy the company of your husband every time 10. Absolutely let your husband trust you 11. Be gist partners 12. Be his confidant and his companion 13. Be his prayer partner and a prayer warrior for him 14. Be his mum, wife, side chick and flirt with him 15. Be his collaborator, his manager and his covenant partner
You may not be these naturally but you can engage in the place of prayer. Be the specific things you want to see yourself become.
Be focused and decisive about what is it you want to see your self become. Let it be as your goal. Let it be SMART. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time bound.
The Lord will help us in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is a blessing
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, do a miracle in my marriage today.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
Life is about challenges. Without these challenges, there will not be opportunities for thrust and lift. That you are a child of God will not exempt you from having your own share. But what I love so much is what Jesus really said that we have already overcome. I love that!
I know you are facing one thing or the other. I don’t have a child yet. I have children, but they are wayward. My husband is not responsible. My wife is not cooperative. My husband is too hard and never listens. My wife is not submissive. My in-laws are my enemies. My husband listens more to his mum. My mum is not welcome in our house. And the list goes on and on. Issues are in the billions, as numerous as humans on earth.
I want to talk to you this morning about one the most powerful weapon God has given you to overcome situations.
What the Bible says in each situation we find ourselves is a very great weapon in our hands to overcome such situations.
Most people don’t know anything about the Bible or about the potency of God’s word. The result is that a lot of people live in defeat despite the victory that has been wrought for them by Jesus Christ.
The truth is that words are powerful. Now when those words are spoken by God, it makes all the difference! The reason God’s words are powerful is because words are as powerful as the person who speaks the word. We all know God is all powerful!
When you find yourself in a marriage or life issue, the first thing you should do is to go into the scriptures and find out what God said about the situation.
You can confront that marriage issues and problems with the power of the spoken word. What you say matters a lot.
As believers, you have access into the promises of God. Take these promises and meditate on them until they are rooted in your heart. It then flows out naturally from your mouth.
Once the words are in your heart, start speaking what God said and not what the situation is.
Somebody says ‘would I not be telling a lie? No, God’s word is the truth! The situation is a fact, but truth is higher than a fact, so you use your mouth to superimpose the truth on the fact, and because God cannot lie, He deploys every available resources including angelic interventions to make sure what you said come to pass. No problem or challenge can withstand God’s word. Try Him today!
Take authority over that issue. Your mouth is your might. Keep saying what you want to see and not what you are seeing.
Stay stubbornly on God’s word until you see the travail of your heart. Do not cave in or give up, hold on to the horns of the altar.
I see God turning that situation around for you. Lift up your hand and thank Him for that!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love God’s word.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 4:12 MSG God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a promise of God’s word and meditate on it.
5. He does not want you to provoke your children unnecessarily.
God does not want you to take out what you feel or how you feel on the children. Don’t transfer your aggression to them or else they will grow up doing exactly the same things to their siblings and then their spouses. What you do to children and around them goes a long way to influence their thought patterns and outlook on life.
Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.] (Col 3:21 AMP)
Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits. (Col 3:21 MSG)
6. He does not want you to deny your husband sexual pleasure.
Never do this for any reason! It is unwise under any circumstance unless, of course, you are certain that your husband would transmit STDs as a result of his lifestyle. Many wives have unwittingly pushed their husbands into the waiting hands of adulterous women by starving their husbands with Jeru trip. It is not a wise thing to do. Jeru trip means to your husband much more than it means to you!
Let me drive home the point with this illustration. A couple held themselves in a good embrace at night and in a split second the husband is ready for Jeru trip and was warming up for that. To his consternation, the wife said “No. “I just wanted you to hold me, that’s all, no Jeru trip!” The husband, all worked up went to bed with a serious headache.
A few days after that, they went on a shopping spree. The wife saw some jewelry, clothes, and designer shoes and the husband asked her to pick them all. Then she saw skirt suits and trouser suits. The husband still said she could pick them. She was enraptured. As they moved over to the counter to pay, the husband said, No! I just wanted you to hold them. Hold them tight, that’s all!
7. He does not want you to nag or disrespect your husband.
Nagging is dangerous to marriage! Every man detests it. It will never work, so don’t resort to it.
8. He does not want you to discuss your husband with others.
Never make that mistake. That male colleague that seems to have a listening ear is really looking for ways to take you to bed at the end of the day. With a few exceptions, though.
That other guy with whom both of you exchange marital challenges and how your spouses have not been good is not a good relationship to keep. There would soon be an emotional affair and then it will be taken to a physical level if care is not taken.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God is my strength. He will guide me in the right path.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask that you open my eyes of understanding in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:33 KJV Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life in the light of God’s principles
