Infidelity is the quality of being unfaithful. Once either spouse gets into the muddy, murky waters of infidelity, trust is ruptured, the marital covenant is broken, and God’s principles are violated!
Infidelity is a marriage killer any day. There are so many reasons why people get into infidelity but none of the reasons is justifiable. You have no excuse for becoming unfaithful to your spouse. Adultery is a killer, it looks sweet initially, but the consequences are undesirable.
Let’s look at some scriptures in the book of Proverbs. When Solomon starts talking to you about adultery, you had better listen, he had it all and you will never be able to break his record! He had so many women in his harem that he must have used tallies or numbers to identify them.
Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. –Proverbs 9:17(KJV)
Adultery seems sweet, but what happens afterward?
Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel. –Proverbs 20:17 (KJV)
You sure don’t want to be served a plate of gravel for food, but that is what a lot of people are cooking for lunch and dinner!
Unfaithfulness in your marriage will also reduce you. It will reduce you to what can be swallowed by the devil. See it here:
For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. –Proverbs 6:26 (KJV)
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be faithful. I am kept by God’s power. I am filled with God’s Spirit; I will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord keep me strong and keep me by your Word. Keep me by your Spirit in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So be happy with your wife and find your joy with the woman you married. –Proverbs 5:18
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every immoral relationship.
The fear of getting the right spouse who wouldn’t treat you harshly or abuse and jilt you is a terrible source of pressure.
There is also the fear of not meeting and having your right spouse in time.
The right way to handle this fear and its pressure is to focus your mind on the truth that God has the right spouse for you, and he or she will come at God’s appointed time.
Fear can immobilize and incapacitate. Fear can also cause you to hasten unnecessarily into dangerous terrains.
Whichever way, you need to know that God has not given you the Spirit of fear. Don’t end up marrying an unbeliever because of fear of getting old.
You cannot try to fix a pressure by violating God’s injunctions. It’s not going to work that way! You cannot jump ahead of God’s timing and expect things to work out. At the end of the day, what you venture into out of fear keeps the process elongated.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. – 2Ti 1:7 KJV
Cast out the Spirit of fear and trust your father to give you the best.
If you missed yesterday’s devotional, you can read it HERE
Comparison Traps
Another dangerous source of pressure is comparing yourself with your friends and colleagues, especially when they are all either engaged or married.
You can either be strengthened or intimidated by your friends; do not be intimidated.
Understand that you are uniquely different from every other person; your destiny is quite different from theirs, so your life’s story is also different.
A friend’s success should not determine your direction. It is comparison traps that often drive one into adulterous relationships all in the bid to ‘belong’ or to meet financial pressures.
Avoid this trap as much as possible, because when you keep trying to be like everybody else, you will be like nobody else at the end of the day.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. – 2Co 10:12 KJV
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to stay under pressure of any kind. I am in control through the Spirit of God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me daily to withstand every kind of pressures in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jas 1:13 MSG Don’t let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, “God is trying to trip me up.” God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one’s way.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Identify all sources of pressures and work towards eliminating one at a time.
The issue of communication in marriage cannot be over emphasized. Think about it, before that relationship started, you had to communicate your love to her.
In preparing for the wedding, you had to do a lot of communication. The problem is a lot of couples stop communicating after marriage.
Words are powerful. Jesus said words are spirits. Spirits don’t die, therefore words don’t die. Jesus said you will account for everything you say.
You can build your marriage with right words and you can ruin it with wrong words. Whilst doing my Master’s Degree programme in Communication and Language Arts, a professor told us in class something simple but powerful.
In communication, the speaker and the hearer are very important. Until what is said is perceived and understood by the receiver, there is no communication. The question is “are you listening to her?”
Spend time with your spouse. Discuss from time to time. If you don’t give your spouse attention, you will be shocked of the extent he/she can go just to get attention.
In some countries, listeners are hired and paid just to listen to women talk. That is how important communication is.
Whatever happens in your marriage, don’t stop communicating. Learn your spouse’s love language, that is his/her password!
You see, out of the abundance, of the heart, the mouth speaks… If you are on his/her mind, there will be communication! When you are rendered incommunicado in a marriage for whatever excuse, it is not a good place to be.
If your marriage is defective, you can still make amends today!
He stands at the door of your heart and knocks. If you open the door for him he will come in right now and realign your marriage.
May God give you more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My mouth is full of right words. The opening of my mouth is unto wisdom and grace.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Spirit of God, fill my mouth with right words over my spouse, children and family
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:4 The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Fix a time for a hearty discussion
“Hullo dear, have you slept?” “No, I have not, I am listening! I heard the last thing you said.” The truth is that you have dozed off.
It has happened to me many times, and I am sure it has happened to you as well. My wife is talking to me on the bed, and I have dozed off. I am trying to listen to her because it is a legitimate need of hers, but the son of man is tired!
Somebody said women speak more words than men. A man speaks an average of ten thousand words in a day, but a woman speaks about twenty-five thousand words! There are exceptions, though.
The man is back from work and he has probably exhausted his 10,000 quota since he derives his self-esteem and fulfillment from work.
By the time he is coming back home, he is done for the day, words have been spoken with friends, colleagues, clients, employers, employees, on the phone and so on. He wants to come back home, eat, listen to news, check a few mails, make love to his wife and sleep!
The wife too has probably exhausted 10,000 words at work, but by the time she is home, she still has 15,000 words bubbling in her! It is even worse if she is a housewife! She has nobody to talk to and so people around her say she nags, making repetitions and all that. The fact is that she needs to talk!
So the wife asks her husband “How was work today?” He answers “Fine!” If he is in a good mood, he adds a few more words like, “oh baby, my day was cool, Thank God!”
She is worried he is not talking, but the guy is in no mood to talk.
The husband asks the wife, “how has your day been? And he regrets afterwards! That was all she needs to unleash the words that have been brewing in her like a molten magma. The volcanic eruption of words is so massive; the guy wants to walk away. So she starts from when she woke up, and goes on and on, and the man is wondering: “What did I ask, what is she narrating!”
You see, that is a woman for you and you must not mute her or shut her up! Let her talk! Don’t make a mistake of shouting her down all the time or quieting her! It is a legitimate need of hers.
When a woman has no fear of God and this legitimate need of hers has not been met, she might succumb to the traps of the devil and get that legitimate need met through illegitimate means, which of course will be detrimental to the marriage and the home!
There are people out there who are waiting to capitalize on your insensitivity to your wife and take advantage of that emotional gully created by lack of communication.
You see, a lady becomes emotionally connected to the person she talks to!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My mouth is full of right words. The opening of my mouth is unto wisdom and grace.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Spirit of God, fill my mouth with right words over my spouse, children and family
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY (Pro 18:4) The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Fix a time for a hearty discussion
You should not only call the disciples (other friends) into your marriage, but you need to call Jesus as well. Both Jesus and his disciples were called. When they needed a miracle, it wasn’t the disciples that turned water into wine, they were busy drinking wine, but it was Jesus. There are times when the wine of the marriage dries up, and it is Jesus you need at such times.
In marriage, you need the person of Jesus and the principles of Jesus to make it. But you know, a marriage full of sexual compromise and lack of self-control is not giving space for Jesus at all. When you start having adultery, you are doing things worthy of self-rustication from the school. You are kicking at your teacher and you are trying to say you want things done your own way.
A marriage where the husband, wife or both of them are cheating are disenfranchising themselves from the very help and wisdom they need in their marriage! The scripture advises that you drink water from your own cistern!
Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? – Proverbs 5:15 – 20
When you drink water from your own cistern (talking about making love with your wife), it is like water turned into wine. How sweet it is!
But, when you drink water from strange women and cisterns, you are taking poison! It tastes sweet in your mouth but it will hurt you!
Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel. – Proverbs 20:17
The teacher is compassionate! He stands at the door of the class, in your heart, and simply wants you to extend an invitation to him to enter the class! In your marriage, the wine will always be insufficient.
Your own wisdom will fail you. But he is there to help you out, if you invite him!
Will you invite him today? It is the best thing to do. He will save you from shame and keep the wine of your marriage, life and destiny flowing beautifully. He will teach you how to make your marriage a bliss and not full of blisters, how to make it a haven and not an oven!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY In my marriage, I will not be cut off in the midst of my days. I will last in the marriage institution.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal 2:15 MSG GOD, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse.
