Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Today, I want to talk about something that doesn’t always get said out loud. What happens when you’ve caught real feelings for someone, and it honestly feels like a gift from God… but then God tells you, “This isn’t it.”
Maybe you met someone who checks almost every box on your list. They love Jesus, they’re kind, they make you laugh, they actually get your weird jokes (on time), they’re responsible, emotionally mature… all the things you’ve prayed for. And you’re thinking, “God, finally. Thank You. This is my person!”
But then something unsettles you. A gentle nudge. A whisper from the Holy Spirit. Or maybe a clear sense that God is saying, “No, not this one, and it’s confusing. Because everything feels right.
So what are you supposed to do when your heart says yes… and God says no?
1. Let Yourself Feel the Disappointment
First, be honest. Rejection hurts, even when it comes gently from God. So don’t fake a smile or pretend you’re fine. God can handle your feelings. He’s not afraid of your tears or your questions.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
You don’t have to be strong all the time. You just have to be real.
2. Just Because It Looks Good Doesn’t Mean It’s God
This part is hard. Because when someone is mostly what you want, it’s tempting to talk yourself into believing it’s God’s will. But “almost right” is still wrong if God says so.
There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. Proverbs 14:12 (NIV)
God sees the full picture.
3. God Isn’t Being Cruel. He’s Being Kind.
It might not feel like it, but God saying “no” is often one of the kindest things He can do. He’s not trying to ruin your happiness. He’s protecting your future.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you… Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
That person might be great, just not God’s great for you. He knows the road ahead. You don’t.
4. Don’t Try to Force What God Is Gently Closing
One of the biggest mistakes we make? Pushing through red flags because “we prayed about it” or “they love God too.” We try to write the story our way.
But forcing something that God is closing will only wear you out.
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Psalm 127:1 (NIV)
Let Him build your love story. His version is better than anything you can try to hold together with your own hands.
5. Peace Is Often Louder Than A Yes
You might not get a booming voice from heaven. But you’ll know when you’re in step with God because there’s peace. Real peace. Not butterflies. Not adrenaline. Peace.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts… Colossians 3:15 (NIV)
If you have to constantly convince yourself it’s right… it might not be.
God sees you. He knows what you long for. He knows what you need. And when He says no, it’s not rejection. It’s redirection toward something fuller, deeper, and far more lasting than your feelings today.
So what do you do when God says no to your feelings?
You pause. You listen. You trust. And you let Him love you through the ache.
Last week, we explored “love and boundaries,” and this week, I wish to further develop that discourse by examining how Jesus approached boundaries. Ready?
If you missed last week’s article, you can read it HERE.
Love doesn’t mean losing yourself. No, it doesn’t. Jesus is the embodiment of perfect love, yet He lived with boundaries while on earth.
He didn’t attend to every request. He didn’t go where everyone wanted Him to go. He didn’t let people define His purpose or dictate His pace.
That’s not pride. That’s wisdom.
Take a moment and imagine this: if Jesus, who could heal, raise the dead, and preach better than anyone, said “no” sometimes and walked away sometimes, then why do we think love means saying yes to everything and everyone?
Let’s see a few instances of how Jesus handled pressure:
1. He said “No” to people’s demands.
When a crowd begged Him to stay and keep performing miracles, He told them no.
“I must go and preach elsewhere,” He said in Luke 4:42-43.
Love isn’t always staying. Sometimes it’s knowing when to move.
2. He walked away to rest.
Jesus often left the crowd — even needy, desperate crowds — to pray and recharge (Mark 1:35).
Love isn’t burnout. You can care deeply and still take time to breathe.
3. He guarded His mission.
When Peter tried to talk Him out of the cross, Jesus didn’t sugarcoat it: “Get behind me, Satan.”
That wasn’t rudeness. That was clarity. Boundaries protect purpose.
So here’s the lesson:
You can love someone and still set limits.
You can serve others and still guard your peace.
You can give generously without giving away your values.
Boundaries aren’t unloving.
They’re how we love well — with wisdom, not exhaustion.
And if Jesus had them, so should we.
Do you have boundaries in your life—both your love life and generally? Work out something today.
The Bible warns us not to conform for a reason—it’s because conforming is easier. The pressure to fit in is constant. There’s pressure to get married, have kids, build a career, start a business, travel the world, and so on.
But God has given us a way out: the renewal of our minds.
Romans 12:2 (AMP) And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you].
One of the key ways to experience transformation is by growing spiritually. If you’re still struggling with the basics—fasting, tithing, praying, meditating—how will you stand firm when the pressure comes?
Spiritual maturity doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s a journey worth taking. The more you grow in your walk with God, the less pressure the world will have over you. Instead of being swayed by expectations, you’ll stand firm in God’s will for your life.
Happy New Year to everyone at Kisses and Huggs Club! This year has been declared our year of supernatural growth, and with this declaration comes the promise of remarkable progress in every area of our lives.
Growth is a natural progression in life. When a single man gets married, it signifies maturity, as marriage is not for the immature. Like we say, ‘marriage is not for boys’. Similarly, when a married woman gives birth, it marks a new level of growth within the family. This year, I encourage you to embrace the promise of supernatural growth and pray for its manifestation in every aspect of your life.
One specific area where I urge you to grow this year is your consistency. Studies have shown that consistency is the key to achieving anything worthwhile. This is not the year to repeat the same patterns and routines of the past. A great scholar once said ‘Insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly, but expecting different results.’ You must do things differently if you want a different result this year. This is a year to step into greater maturity and achieve remarkable outcomes through unwavering commitment.
Let’s draw wisdom from the Scriptures:
Luke 18:7 (AMP) And will not [our just] God defend and avenge His elect [His chosen ones] who cry out to Him day and night? Will He delay [in providing justice] on their behalf?
Here, we see the importance of persistent and consistent prayer. God is moved by those who seek Him consistently—day and night—not by those who come to Him sporadically or half-heartedly.
Consider your own prayer life. Are you consistent in seeking God, or do you waver? This year, resolve to pursue Him with steadfast devotion. For instance, as you participate in the GPPS (Global Prayers and Praise Storm) challenge, don’t be haphazard about it. Don’t settle for three days in a week and expect the same results as someone who goes all the way.
My questions to you this morning:
Have you ever been wronged or felt like life has treated you unfairly?
Do you long for God’s justice to intervene in your circumstances?
Are you feeling helpless and in need of the Great Defender to fight on your behalf?
If so, the answer lies in your consistency. Cry out to God both day and night.
Matthew 7:7: (AMP) “Ask and keep on asking, and it will be given to you; seek and keep on seeking, and you will find; knock and keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”
Notice the recurring theme: persistence. Don’t ask during the day and fall silent at night. Seek Him continuously, knowing that His justice is promised to those who diligently pursue Him.
This year, my desire is that you grow by developing a deeper and more consistent relationship with God. Keep asking. Keep seeking. Keep knocking. This unwavering commitment is the key to unlocking His justice and experiencing supernatural growth in your life.
