As a single man or lady, you sometimes are all about yourself alone. Certain decisions are made without considering anyone. When you get married, that narrative will change. Whatever you do, you put your spouse first.
What to eat, what to wear, when to return home, where to go, how much to spend, what to buy, etc.
When taking such decisions, you will have to consider your partner.
Mk 10:8 [ESV] and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.
2. Forgiveness.
There is no place where offence is frequent other than marriage. The reason is clear. You get hurt by the one you love so dearly.
Marriage is not a place to keep malice. As a matter of fact, in marriage, you forgive ahead.
Who do you think can offend you 490 times in a day?
Who? Your spouse. You don’t believe, right? Ask a married person beside you.
Mat 18v22 [NIV] Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
3. Assumptions.
Assumption is the lowest level of knowledge. In marriage, couples don’t just make babies; they talk.
They talk about everything.
What you discussed in courtship, you discuss again in marriage. Life happens, and seasons change, so the conversation you had last year may need to be revisited this year.
The moment communication dies, assumptions set in.
You can’t live your life based on hearsay. Always ask.
Oh, I am not the talking type. Really? And you want to get married?
If you don’t talk to your spouse, someone else will do the talking.
Gen 3:1 [ESV] Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”
4. Teamwork.
Marriage is not a competition where you want to find out who the better parent is. You are a team. It is both of you against the world, not against each other.
You don’t have to always have the final say; that’s why you are a team.
Carry him along. Carry her along. That way, it will take extra effort for anyone to come between you.
I am an independent person. I like to do things my own way. That is very good for your level, but the moment you agree to sign the dotted lines, that mentality has to change.
Gen 2v24 [NLT] This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
This devotional is a continuation from yesterday. If you missed it, go here
5. Overwhelmed with Responsibilities:
Life’s pressures—work, finances, family obligations—can leave men feeling overwhelmed and unable to commit further. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God.” Supporting him spiritually can lighten his load. Being overwhelmed is another reason why men often delay decisions.
6. Lack of Clarity:
Sometimes, men delay because they lack clarity about what they want or where the relationship is headed. James 1:5 promises, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault.” Encourage open conversations while trusting God for direction.
7. Fear of Losing Freedom:
Commitment requires sacrifice, and some men often delay for fear of losing their independence. Remind him that true freedom comes from surrendering to God’s plan. Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.”
8. Avoidance of Conflict:
Men may delay addressing issues to avoid uncomfortable conversations or potential conflict. However, unresolved problems only grow worse. Proverbs 27:5-6 states, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” Gentle honesty can help resolve tension constructively.
9. Testing Compatibility:
Some men delay commitment because they’re still assessing whether the relationship is right. Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Building mutual understanding and shared values can reassure both partners.
10. Misaligned Priorities:
For some, career, hobbies, or other pursuits take precedence over relationships. A man who prioritizes worldly success over relational health may need redirection. Matthew 6:33 reminds us, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Encourage him to align his priorities with God’s will.
In relationships, one common frustration women express is that men often delay —whether it’s making decisions, committing to the next step, or addressing important issues. While every man is different, there are recurring patterns and reasons behind these delays. Understanding why men often delay can help foster patience, communication, and growth in your relationship.
Here are 10 reasons men often delay and how faith can guide you through these challenges.
1. Fear of Failure:
Many men often delay because they fear they won’t measure up or succeed. Whether it’s proposing, starting a family, or taking on a new responsibility, the pressure to “get it right” can paralyze them. Proverbs 29:25 reminds us, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Encourage him to trust God rather than his own abilities.
2. Uncertainty About Readiness:
Some men often delay because they genuinely don’t feel ready for the next step. This could stem from financial concerns, emotional maturity, or life goals that aren’t aligned yet. Ecclesiastes 3:1 teaches, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Trusting God’s timing can ease anxiety about readiness.
3. Past Wounds:
Unresolved pain from past relationships or personal struggles can cause hesitation. If he’s been hurt before, he may need time to heal before moving forward. Psalm 147:3 assures us, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Pray for his healing and offer grace as he processes his emotions. These wounds are one reason why men often delay commitment.
4. Desire for Perfection:
Men often delay because they’re waiting for the “perfect” moment or solution. But perfectionism isn’t realistic—or biblical. Matthew 5:48 calls us to strive for godliness, not flawlessness. Help him focus on progress over perfection.
I will conclude on this topic tomorrow. Don’t miss it.
Many people enter relationships expecting “love” to fix them. They think a spouse will erase their insecurities, a partner will heal their past wounds, or marriage will suddenly make them whole. But I bring you the truth today: love (Eros) won’t heal you—only God can.
Singles, hear me: the worst thing you can do is place the weight of your happiness or wholeness on another person. If you feel empty, unloved, worthless, or broken, a relationship won’t fix it—it will only expose it. Two incomplete people don’t make a whole relationship; they make a wounded one. It is two whole people that come together to make a whole relationship.
So, instead of searching for someone to “complete” you, let God make you whole first. That way, when the right person comes, you’ll love from a place of strength, not desperation.
So, my friends, heal before you deal. Become whole before you become entangled with another. Stop being desperate for “love” as a way of completing you—search out where the insecurity is coming from and allow God to heal you.
For married couples, expecting your spouse to be your healer is quite a heavy burden. Yes, love/marriage brings comfort and support, but no human can fill the void only God was meant to fill. If you’re struggling with insecurities, past trauma, or deep emotional wounds, don’t look to your partner as the solution—bring it to God.
Come vulnerable before God and find healing. A healthy marriage isn’t about two perfect people; it’s about two surrendered people who continually allow God to shape them.
It is God who heals. It is God that binds up the broken-hearted, not any man/woman.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
Love is beautiful, yeah, but it is not a substitute for healing. So before you search for love—or while you’re already in it—ask yourself: Am I expecting a person to do what only God can? Because wholeness isn’t found in a relationship. It’s found in Him. Reach out to Him today. He’s waiting for you.
There are a few things that add spice into your marriage. Apart from praying and doing all the spiritual aspects, the things you do physically matters too.
We need to remind ourselves of some of these things. They are so simple; in fact, some of us vowed to do these things while single, but life happens to us, and then we get overcome by events.
There is no way you can start doing these things and stay committed to doing them that your marriage will not be better and grow intimately.
Let’s take a look at some of those things.
1. Take time to touch daily
a. Hugs – aim at 3-4 hugs per day for atleast 20sec
b. Hold hands for at least 10 mins per day
c. Cuddles – at least 30 mins everyday
d. Massage – at least 10-15 min per day
e. Intimate touch – kissing, caressing & lovemaking.
Physical touch reduces stress and anxiety. Oxytocin release hormones of bonding. It promotes feelings of attachment, closeness & bonding
2. Find something to laugh about daily
a. Schedule laughing time – Set aside time to see a movie
b. Find the humor, laugh at yourself
c. Be playful – playful activities & games that bring laughter & joy in your relationship
d. Share funny stories: funny stories about your past.
These tips are simple yet practical and profound.
God bless our marriages in Jesus’ mighty name, amen.
