There are couples that are sitting on a keg of powder
As singles and married couples, you are to deliberately work things out in your relationship or marriage and with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Here is what the scripture says:
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12 KJV)
In a relationship and or marriage, you are to work things out. A relationship or courtship does not lead to marriage automatically. You are to work things out in your disposition, attitude, and reactions.
A marriage does not just succeed; you are to work things out between yourselves.
Now there are some couple combinations that are sure to crack along the way. When you find yourself in these spots, you need to seek help prayerfully and with a lot of wisdom to address the lurking issues. Here are those combinations:
1. Unbelieving Lovers
Two people who are unbelievers may love themselves, may be committed to each other, but when the storms of life come, they will fight their battles alone and you know, some of those battles can be very fierce. They will not have God’s support since they don’t have a relationship with God. They will not have the benefit of sonship and it can be very intense!
They need to connect with God!
Do not fall in love with an unbeliever! The consequences may be debilitating.
Who will they consult in the day of trouble? They will try herbalists and the occult which would plunge them further into the abyss.
Their options are many but shallow. God is the unfathomable one in whom all possibilities lie. He is the merciful God that shields, protect, directs, instructs, heals, and does so many things. A life, marriage, and home devoid of God will dissipate into nothingness in no time.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to the realities of life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 14:17 [KJV]For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
This is not an absolute and ‘one answer fits all’ situation approach. There is always an exception to the rule. That is why the best thing that can happen to any married couple is to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to be a child of God, and to walk with God and know His voice.
It is a privilege to have access to the wisdom of God and He can always tell you what to do in your own peculiar circumstances.
I have witnessed the Holy Spirit help me through certain difficult times in my marriage and I am so grateful for those times.
We are talking about husbands and I believe by God’s Grace, I will also write about the wives.
We have four basic temperaments and other temperament blends. We also have modifications of our temperaments based on different factors such as our background, the environment we were raised in, our parents, their beliefs, exposure, the schools we attended, our religious beliefs, circumstances surrounding our childhood, childhood experiences, etc.
Now, you have to understand who you have married. Without understanding, you cannot be an effective helpmeet, and then it’s impossible for you to submit.
These are some qualities of a choleric husband and how to live with him based on knowledge.
1. A choleric is goal-oriented
That means he lives for achievement. He must achieve something. It is not impossible he cancels luxury at home just to cater for his goals.
Join him in whatever he wants to achieve and support him all the way. Encourage him. Don’t fight him or his goals. A choleric fight to finish and makes it a goal to accomplish.
2. A choleric is an obstacle crusher
A choleric crushes whatever is on his way to achieving that goal. Join him don’t criticize him.
3. A choleric is sharped tongued
It is not impossible he is seen verbally abusing his wife and lashing at her. Gently correct him when the event has passed.
4. He is egocentric
Don’t touch the ego. Help massage it especially in the way you talk. Talk to him in a soft tone and he will listen.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
5. A choleric maybe inconsiderate and selfish or self-centered
Whenever he is like this, point his attention to what he is doing.
6. He may defer helping
He may not help out in his wife’s project if it is not his project
Make sure you are not offended. Stand your ground but please be open.
7. A choleric husband makes coarse jokes or comments.
Guide against being offended. Be mature and don’t let his sarcasm get at you. Bear your mind out not in a fight but in honest conversation, maybe later, so that he won’t see you as contesting his ‘simple’ joke.
8. He wants to be in control and he is authoritative
See the good part of this. See it as being a strong leader and celebrate that he is being a man.
Don’t become a jelly under his authority. Enjoy him leading you. You don’t want to be in a position where the wife takes decisions.
There are more, but basically, you handle being married to a choleric husband not by being hurt, in strife, contention, or bitterness, you handle this by being honest and sincere with the way you feel.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my husband in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my husband in Jesus’ name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
We need to continually remind ourselves that life as married couples require a lot of hard work. We need to always make efforts to be whatever is needed in our marriage to be a better spouse
We must all be ready to make sacrifices. Selfishness cannot be tolerated in marriage. Never can superiority complex whether spiritual, financial, societal, intellectual and any form of superiority complex for that matter be tolerated.
Now that you are married, some attitudes must be knocked out of our lives.
Here are five things to never consider. They are no-go areas, all things being equal.
1. Never make your spouse feel intimidated.
Some people are fond of intimidating their partners. They feel to lead, it has to be by force or by coarseness. It is a partnership, not a boss servant relationship. No one is superior or inferior. The husband is the head but that doesn’t mean he is superior.
2. Never cheat on your spouse
Infidelity comes at a high price. It usually costs so much when you are involved in extramarital. The cost of broken trust is very high you don’t want to meddle with it. No matter how much the temptation, it is not worth it.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Never deny your spouse jeru trip
This goes for both husband and wife. Denying your spouse also means not being patient enough and not doing enough foreplay for especially the wife to climax and enjoy it. Don’t deny your spouse the enjoyment God indented in Jerusalem trip. Explore different styles. Proper hygiene is also important. Be considerate of your partner and help out with the kids and some house chores if you must enjoy a pleasurable trip at night.
4. Never keep a secret from your spouse
Well, it is possible you keep certain sensitive issues from your spouse for better timing. But please no secrets. Don’t keep your past a secret from your spouse, no matter how terrible it is. Of cause, wisdom is necessary here.
Don’t keep friends you share secrets and keep secrets for each other.
5. Never shut your spouse up
If you continually shut your spouse, the day you need him/her to make an input or contribution on a matter, he/she will not have confidence. Accord every opinion, suggestion with respect. Learn to listen as there may be wisdom in it. After all, God gave you your spouse to make your lives together better.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am naked and not ashamed with my spouse in all things.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask the Lord to teach you how to be a better spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Practice the above principles.
“But why? You are beautiful, you are active in church and everything seems to be going on well.”
“Na beauty I go chop?” Beautiful and yet husbandless at thirty-five?”
“God has a man for you”
“Where is the man? And when will the man come?”
“Just be patient and be prayerful.”
“Shebi, you are already married, cooling off in your husband’s home, with a romantic six-packed man to rest your naughty head on every night, while I am speaking in tongues alone on cold nights with no one in sight”
“Sister Susan!”
“Sister Joy!”
“What about Brother David?”
“It is you that will marry Brother David!”
“Ah! What happened to Brother David?”
“You came to church this morning in a Toyota Lexus right?”
“Yes”
“So, I should go and marry Brother David so that I can improve on all the trekking I have done in the last thirty-five years? So that my name can enter Guinness Book of Record for The trekker of all times, abi?”
“Ha!”
“You no know say the trek wey I don trek for this world, e no get part 2?”
“You can make somebody laugh”
“How will you not laugh?” Please, don’t talk about Brother David o?”
“But my husband didn’t have a car when we married.”
“I don’t have that patience.”
“Ok, what about Brother Godwin? He asked you out and he has a car?
“That one? That bushman? He cannot even pronounce the name of his car well. He is out of it.”
“Brother James also asked you out. That one nko?”
“Brother James is too spiritual for me. He doesn’t know more than quoting Bible and praying in the Holy Ghost. I am not sure I will ever get to see a movie if I marry him.”
“Tee Boy also asked you out. He is not as spiritual.”
“Ah, that choir boy who has toasted every lady in church? He is too carnal for me.”
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to the realities of life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 14:17 [KJV]For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
This is the concluding part of the series. Let’s go further as we unravel the mystery behind having a model marriage.
3. Be submissive
Hmmm ….here we go again. Must we always be submissive and must we always talk about this?
Yes o, my dear sister. We got to emphasize it because that is the way things in the marriage will work. That’s how God ordained it and it cannot be reversed. So darling, just align yourself to it.
Anything that has two heads is a monster. So someone has to be the head and that is your husband. Allow him to be the head. Relinquish the right to lead you to him. Let him have the baton. That’s how you have a model marriage
You too have ideas, your ideas can only work when you put them under his leadership. Submission is ‘mission under’, put your own mission under his.
Don’t give your head a headache or migraine. If he has a headache, he won’t be able to do what he should do. If the head is good, the body enjoys it.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
4. Be his friend
I know it may be a little difficult. For some ladies that were not really friends in courtship or were friends but life happens and it seems the friendship is going down the drain.
Listen, you can develop friendship again. You are in a life-long relationship and you don’t want to spend it with an unfamiliar person. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life being stuck with someone not your friend. Your journey together is much easier and more fun if it is spent with a friend.
5. Be a helper of his destiny
What is his destiny and purpose? Where is he going? To be his helper of destiny, you have to understand his destiny and how to come in at every different season of his life to help him. He will go far with your help.
There is no king without a kingdom. A king cannot do everything by himself. By his position, a king must be helped for the throne to be established. The more subjects the king has, the more his kingdom is established.
What makes a king different from another? They all occupy thrones, but the more those who are helping him, the greater. And his wife should be the number one helper.
We are the queens. Have you seen a king without a queen? He is just not complete. Be that queen you were created to be and the Lord will help us to have a model marriage.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my husband in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my husband in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Ti 2:1 I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
