Yesterday I spoke about transitioning from a Girl to a lady, to a wife, and a mother. We see how it’s of necessity we grow and develop at each stage so we can mature at each level and do as it is required of us.
Today we will be looking at the male version and how we are to develop at every stage of our lives.
You are a male by birth but we become a man by choice. You become a man by taking some deliberate steps or actions
John 9:21 NKJV but by what means he now sees we do not know, or who opened his eyes we do not know. He is of age; ask him. He will speak for himself.
Being a man describes one who can speak for himself. Most guys have identity crises. They can’t speak up for what they believe. Your ‘manhood’ starts when you can stand up for a godly course.
You grow from being a boy to becoming a man, mature emotionally, mentally, financially spiritually.
Until you are a mature man you are not qualified to be a husband or to be married.
There are so many married boys. It’s not your age that makes you a man.
Being a husband is a responsibility. Husband is from the word ‘husbandry’ which means ‘the care, cultivation, and breeding of crops and animals’.
It also means ‘management and conservation of resources’. A husband must be equipped to bind his home together. He should be able to manage the human resources of his wife and children. He cultivates and brings out the best in his wife and children.
When we have immature men becoming husbands, we have all sorts of marital problems. We have unfaithful men. Men who can’t be committed to their wives or their children.
They have not learned how to be committed to God. They can be selfish, don’t know how to manage their emotions, and don’t know. how to be vulnerable, sincere, and transparent with their wives.
A good. husband is an effective father, the source of life. Many boys are becoming fathers. What a tragedy of destiny. It is only boys that allow their erection to determine their direction.
Let every man and the ladies that love them and love the next generation, take up the responsibility of getting matured. Enough of half-baked men causing crisis in marriages.
Let them become the proper servant leaders, God ordained them to be. Men who truly love their wives like Christ love the church and gave Himself for her.
In relationships, there will be instances where your significant other inadvertently inflicts hurt upon you. It’s not a deliberate act, but rather a consequence of human nature – we are, after all, only human.
As spiritual beings residing on this side, the sting of these hurts often cuts deep due to the profound trust, love, and emotional bonds involved.
The root of these hurts may often be traced back to temperamental differences, as individuals naturally attract those with opposing temperaments. Picture the calm and easy-going drawn to the vivacious Sanguine, or the goal-oriented Choleric captivated by the carefree Sanguine or the relaxed Phlegmatic.
While these differences are complementary, they can also become sources of conflict, generating deep hurts, offenses, bitterness, and an unforgiving spirit.
Unchecked hurts evolve into lasting offenses, fostering bitterness and an unforgiving spirit. It’s essential to recognize that harboring unforgiveness obstructs the flow of blessings into one’s life.
The Christian journey expressly forbids harboring an unforgiving attitude. Jesus, our ultimate example, demonstrated the divine nature of forgiveness even amid brutal treatment during his crucifixion.
Jesus forgave, and through His forgiveness, resurrection power was unleashed, bringing Him back from the dead. Now, the glorified Jesus sits in majesty at the right hand of God.
In line with Christian teachings, holding onto offense or unforgiveness contradicts the principles of faith. As emphasized in Mark 11:25 (KJV), forgiveness is an integral part of a successful life.
Mar 11:25 (KJV) And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
Offense, hurts, and bitterness serve as impediments to blessings; therefore, it is paramount to sidestep them in your relationships.
Release the grip of unforgiveness; forgive your ex-partner and release them from the depths of your heart. The subsequent choices your ex makes, including their marital decisions, are inconsequential. Letting go is the key, to allowing God to orchestrate His plan in your life.
May God grant you heightened understanding as you navigate the complex terrain of relationships.
Embarking on the journey of destiny often reveals itself in unexpected ways. This narrative unfolded during my time at Olabisi Onabanjo University, formerly known as Ogun State University. The story revolves around a new student, a “fresher” or “jambite” in our campus lingo, who found accommodation in the same hall I resided in.
Divine Incidence on Campus
In the grand script of life, orchestrated by the Almighty, there is no room for coincidence; only divine incidence. We, as mere actors and actresses, play our roles in a drama directed and produced by God Himself. Staying within the script ensures a blockbuster unfolding of our destinies. Allow God to direct the script(. Don’t attempt to manufacture your own script! The movie will not “blow” like that!
The First Encounter
My roommate and I, as self-appointed ambassadors of welcome, set out to greet these new arrivals. Little did we know that divine orchestration was at play. Upon laying eyes on her, a sense of certainty enveloped me – a whisper from the Holy Spirit, perhaps – that she would be my wife. Her physical beauty, though not the sole criterion, played a significant role in this divine revelation.
Timing is Everything
Despite this revelation, I exercised patience and restraint, allowing a year to pass without expression. Two reasons governed this apparent inaction: my inherent shyness and an intuitive understanding that the timing wasn’t ripe. Understanding the patterns through which God communicates became pivotal in deciphering the journey ahead. Going ahead of God can ruin beautiful things even when it is God’s plan.
You see, when God speaks, His voice can be so resolute and strong that you often jump out without finding out details.
The voice of my beloved! behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. (Song of Songs 2:8 KJV)
The Holy Spirit’s Guidance
As children of God, embracing the Holy Spirit’s guidance becomes paramount. Recognizing the patterns through which God communicates, be it in relationships or other life aspects, is crucial. Filling our hearts with faith for His leading involves immersing ourselves in scriptures about divine guidance.
The Burden of Preparation
The voice of God is resolute, often requiring preparation before performance. Recognizing the two dimensions of this burden – preparation and performance – is vital. Rushing into action without understanding the nuances can lead to missteps, as seen in the misadventure of proposing prematurely. That revelation from God, is it for preparation or [performance? A major question to answer!
The Importance of Timing
Understanding God’s timing is fundamental to avoiding missteps. In my journey, God revealed the path of teaching relationships in 1997, but it took a decade before I stepped into that calling. Attempting to initiate the journey prematurely led to failure, emphasizing the significance of divine timing.
Seeking Guidance in Decision-Making
As married couples, there are even more decisions to make. Keep asking Him before you take that decision, before you make that business decision and He will always speak to you. Don’t be hasty! Be led by God. That is how not to make a bad business decision. There is nothing wrong in asking God again and again.
God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this; that power belongeth unto God. (Psalms 62:11 KJV)
Conclusion and Prayer
This morning, I speak the light of God that comes from His word into your life, I declare that confusion is not your portion. I pray for married couples, God will direct you in that decision you need to make in Jesus name!
Growth and change are two things that are constant in life, relationship and marriage.
We grow just as our spouse grows and changes.
At this junction, I have to say that there are positive and negative changes that might occur. We are however focusing on the positive changes
There are a lot of things that will change about us. Our age, our taste, our perspectives on life and things generally, our opinion, our health, and whole other things
As we experience these changes and metamorphosis, usually in becoming a better version of ourselves, our values change. What we spend our time on before is not what we spend our time on now.
Sometimes these changes come with their challenges. Most of the time our spouse begins to see this as strange and begins to react.
They are not used to the new you. This is where adjusting is needed.
We are to adjust to the positive changes of our spouses especially when the changes are beneficial.
Ways to handle your spouse’s positive changes
1. We have to acknowledge and respect the differences in our paths to personal growth.
2. We need to understand and appreciate the fact that evolving as individuals may lead to diverse perspectives and be ready to adjust and cope, not quarrel.
3. See the evolution of your partner as an opportunity to learn and grow. Be ready to learn from the uniqueness of each other
4. Learn to appreciate and celebrate the victories that your spouse’s changes bring.
5. Enjoy the journey together embrace the change and find ways to personally grow as your spouse is growing.
Instead of fighting your spouse’s change and allowing it to bring a wedge between the two of you, step up your own game and embrace the change.
May we and our spouse enjoy the beauty of growth together
Pastor Sophia and I did this yesterday via YouTube. Did you miss it?
Find it below and enjoy the lessons, the laughter, and the conversation!
Every single in courtship should intently discuss this – Why do you want to marry me? A sincere in-depth discussion will bring to the fore a lot of revelation and let you be able to to discover a lot about the decision you are about to make.
Interestingly, many couples get “shocked” after the wedding because they discover many things after that!
This is what happens when the relationship gets sexual as singles and obscures the most important things that should be discussed.
Singles in courtship are distracted with outings, sex, fun, and other things that are not important.
Newlyweds and those who have been married for a while should also sit down from time to time to do this – What did you marry me?
It’s a good experience because it is a re-enactment of the core reasons you are together. And in case, distractions are coming in, which is usually the case, the needed rejuvenation can happen as powerful words are uttered to one another.
After all, the wedding day was all about words!
Thank God for the guests, the Aso-Ebi, the food, the reception, the parties, the gold hand rings, the several vendors contracted…but what joined the couple together were the words! Either in court or church, words were exchanged. Vows were made and after the vows, you became husband and wife. It was all about words!
If words bring you together, good words uttered in sincerity to one another will also sustain your relationship.
The course of a thing is also the sustainer of that thing. Sit down and talk!
Singles should ask one another, “Why do you want to marry me?”
Couples should ask from time to time, “Why did you marry me?”
