How do you know how to love your spouse? This is an all-important question that we all try to answer ever since we got married. We all are still trying to answer it and we will still be answering it till death do us part. It is an awesome truth that only death is supposed to part husband and wife. Apart from that, no other thing is permitted to separate us.
Some of us need to learn and be taught how to love our spouses. No matter how complex they are, you have the capacity to love your spouse with the love of God. It is actually spiritual to love your husband/wife. There is nothing carnal in loving your spouse.
These are some ways
1. Love God first of all This is the very first step in loving your husband/wife, love God. A spouse that doesn’t love God cannot love his/her spouse. God is love and it takes a heart that knows God to love. You love God by loving His Word and doing His will.
When you love God this way, it becomes easier for you loving your spouse because you would have developed the capacity to love and put the flesh under. Human nature is generally selfish and does not want to love unconditionally.
God expects us to love our spouse unconditionally.
2. Know that you need God all the way Loving God is not something you do half half-heartedly or once and for all or once in a while. Because you cannot fully know God completely, you have to keep yearning for more of him. The more you discover about God, the more you want to love him. So in loving God, you become a God chaser.
I have seen in my own experience that, the more I chase after God the better I love my husband
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to love my spouse. I have God’s wisdom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to know and understand how to love my spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Finally, all [ of you ] should be of one and the same mind (united in spirit), sympathizing [ with one another ], loving [ each other ] as brethren [ of one household ], compassionate and courteous (tenderhearted and humble).” (1Pe 3:8, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start loving appropriately
This is a question we need to ask ourselves from time to time. “Is God first in my marriage?” How do you deliberately keep God in that first place in your marriage?
Youdo that by making His word come first place in your relationship or marriage
How do you do that?
You read His word regularly.
You study His word regularly.
You obey His word all the way.
Let God be the first place.
When you have this covenant attitude, it will help you to resolve issues quickly in your marriage. You wouldn’t want to disobey God with strife and bitterness.
Listen to me, husbands, when you are angry with her, and you stay away from her and you refuse to talk with her, you are tampering with the blessings of God upon you as a family.
It is right there in the scripture:
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 KJV)
Treating your wife roughly can run prayer aground!
Wives, when you stay hurt over trivial issues and refuse all apologies or you refuse to apologise, you are actually playing with fire in the spiritual realm.
I jokingly said in an interview I had that my wife doesn’t say sorry to me. I say all the “sorry!”
But you see, in the first few years of our marriage, I didn’t use to say sorry! She said all the “sorry!”
So I guess she had exhausted her quota of “sorry” because she said it so many times! Now she doesn’t say it again, so I had to take over! It doesn’t diminish me a bit; the important thing is that somebody says “sorry!” That’s the goal.
All issues should be quickly resolved. It is not about who is wrong or who is right, it is just that you don’t want to get cut off from God’s blessings because of some feelings or ego!
It is a covenant understanding that you must imbibe which will make you go far in your marriage and in the things of God.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am wise. I put God first place in my life and marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, teach me to be a wise son/daughter by placing a value on your word.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: (1 Peter 3:8 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Go ahead and end all quarrels
READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR Genesis 43 – 45
We’ll be discussing the topic “Demonic Activities Versus Fleshly Lust in Marriage” in our devotional for couples today
In severalcounselling sessions I have been privileged to be in with my husband, I have heard cases that are so difficult to resolve.
Now, after a few years of marriage, I have come to realize that some of those messy scenarios have their foundations in demonic influences.
We need to be conscious of this so that it helps us to effectively address issues well. We need to establish the fact that the devil HATES marriage. He loathes it with a perfect hatred. A good marriage irritates him and infuriates him. He is not just a nuisance but an enemy of your marriage and mine.
Having an understanding of who our enemy is, it becomes easier for us to properly wage war against our enemy.
Most of the issues or problems we face in marriage are due to demonic influences. I pray that God will open the eyes of our understanding today to recognize who the real enemy is.
There is the flesh that we all must see to it that we crucify. For example, a choleric husband can be given to anger. He sees himself always getting angry. It could be his flesh. All he has to do is crucify or mortify his flesh. If he doesn’t do that, his marriage will suffer for it.
And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. Galatians 5:24 KJV
On the other hand are the activities of the devil through demonic influence or evil spirit. The aim of these spirits is to torment and torture us as married couples. They also don’t want is to know or serve the Lord effectively.
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10 KJV
The abundant life Jesus came to give us, they want to make sure it is a mirage.
For example, anger becomes demonic when demons or evil spirit makes one angry at every provocation in an uncontrollable and harmful way.
In marriage, your spouse will do things that you don’t like. The devil torments and doesn’t make you enjoy your marriage when there is a spirit of anger.
Some of the emotional or attitudinal issues we experience are the activities of the evil spirits. For example, most depression, fear, rejection, sicknesses, selfishness, etc.
What we need to do to these evil spirits is to cast them out. Cast them out of our marriages and life
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
I will continue tomorrow by God’s grace.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have control over my weaknesses.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you the wisdom to stay above sin
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
When they woke up, all of them trimmed their lamps, but sadly, the lamps of five of them were gone out!
You see, there comes a time when activities without priority on God’s presence will fail. There comes a time where energy and service bravado will fail! When the oil in the lamp goes out, it is the oil in your vessel that will save you!
When you are serving God passionately with your time, energy, and resources but are still embroiled in habitual sexual sins and other transgressions, you are just being foolish! Ouch! That hurts! But it is the truth! It is the truth that will make you free. I am not here to tell you what you want to read or what appeals to your ears, but to declare the undiluted word of God!
When you are seen as a spiritual person and others are even looking up to you yet you know you are empty when it comes to a personal relationship with God, you are being foolish! Ouch!
If you are a pastor that only read your Bible to preach, that is oil in the lamp and nothing more than foolishness! Ouch! You don’t read Bible to preach alone, you study it to live!
If you are a lady in the protocol or ushering in church, always prompt and active, and you don’t know what it means to practice the presence of God, neither do you read your Bible regularly, you are not being wise! Ouch!
If you are the most active in church and yet you live with a boyfriend or girlfriend, that is utter foolishness.
Mat 25:12 KJV But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.
When they wanted the door opened to them, Jesus simply said he doesn’t know them! Is it possible that one can think He knows God and God does not know that person? Yes, I think it is possible.
Let us all get back to getting oil in our vessels regularly. That is how you won’t make mistake in your relationship.
That is how you will know the right person.
That is how not to miss your “bridegroom” That is how not to miss your spouse. That is how the ‘virgin’ in you will not miss it! The time when you are supposed to be ready and meet your ‘bridegroom,’ or your ‘spouse to be’ is not the time to go look for extra oil! It should have been in your vessel all the while!
Mat 25:10 KJV And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.
When you’ve still not learnt how to prioritize your time, and you still don’t value God’s presence, you are still caught up with deceit and sexual sins, the implication is that you are not yet ready and the door of marriage can be shut! It is only those that are ready that will go with him into the marriage! The reason why there is a delay for some people when it comes to marriage is simply lack of oil in the vessel. It can literarily shut the door of marriage!
Oil in the vessel! That is how to keep your relationship.
Make up your mind this morning to be wise!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive the wisdom to rule in the affairs of this world.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you wisdom to stay in His presence
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 25:5 KJV While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place, or thing that is influencing you negatively.
This is a continuationof yesterday’s article where we talked about practical ways to show respect to your spouse in marriage
Here are practical ways to do this.
1. Know that your spouse is so very special before God. He/ she is costly and bought with the precious blood of Jesus. Jesus would have come to die for your spouse.
2. Do not yell at your spouse. You may be angry but never yell.
3. Allow freedom of expression. It is okay to be different; that is why you married in the first place. Men and women are meant to be different.
4. Let your spouse feel safe, secure and trusted by building mutual respect.
5. When you have opposing opinions which will happen most times, you listen. Your listening shows respect.
6. Respect that your spouse is worth listening to. He/ she has something vital to bring to the table.
7. Allow healthy space when it is needed, it shows respect. Let your spouse be by him/herself, have her own friends, her own things et cetera
8. Do not control one another. Your relationship is unhealthy when there is the slightest control. God asked us to love, not control. Jesus never controlled the church.
9. Both spouses should admit once they are wrong and sincerely seek for forgiveness. Swallow your pride and admit you are wrong and apologize.
10. Never treat one another shabbily, in private or public. Show appreciation for every little thing your spouse does. Don’t take each other for granted.
What other ways can you show respect to your spouse?
I will be expecting your replies in the comment box.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am submitted to my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to submit to my own spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 5:21(KJV) Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
