I have often heard that those we love hurt us deeper than anyone else, especially our spouse. I had felt it can’t be that bad.
This world is full of hurtful people. I think the hurt is deeper when in marriage you hurt yourselves and keep on hunting yourselves unless you make up your mind not to hurt.
Hurt is a decision it is not based on your feeling. You have to make a conscious effort and decision against hurt.
Some people have been hurt for most years of their life.
That is what the devil wants. He is busy having a nice time stealing joy, peace, life, compassion, unity, and love from families.
The point is, people, your spouse, and those you hold dear to you will not stop hurting you but you have to make up your mind you won’t allow the hurt to get at you.
Hurtful words are spoken like the cutting of the sword especially if your spouse is choleric. You cannot prevent people from misunderstanding you, people judging you falsely, lying about you, etc.
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. –Proverbs 12:18 KJV
From this scripture, you can pray for your spouse, pray that their tongues become the tongue of the wise that brings healing.
Hurt is like drinking poison and hoping your neighbour dies.
That’s not going to happen. Hurts make you bitter. You can be bitter all your life if care is not taken. You will just see that sixty years of your life are gone without achieving much because of hurt and bitterness.
Let’s receive grace from the Lord. Jesus was hated, misunderstood, lied against, misjudged, and criticized, yet none of this affected him.
He choose to be immune to hurt. He kept His vision before His eyes. He choose between being powerful or being pitiful. He couldn’t possibly have died for humanity if He hated humanity. If he didn’t forgive on time He couldn’t go to the cross.
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. –Luke 10:19 (KJV)
Jesus knew we will be faced with hurt and he made provision for it. We have to walk in our authority over hurts.
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. –Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
You have to take charge of your emotions. Not even your feelings should be strong enough to stop you from fulfilling your purpose. You are only answerable to one; the one who died on the cross for you.
When you come face to face with Him on judgment day, you will have no excuse to offer. Jesus passed through the same and was victorious. He overcame and gave you the victory.
He gave the blood of Jesus, the Word, the shield of faith, communion, etc.
You have to take the shield of faith which is the Word of God. Anytime words are spoken to you that are hurtful, lies, remind yourself and confess out loud and use it against the wile of the enemy.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
Remember, to protect yourself against hurt and every negative emotion. Protect yourself God’s way. There are negative ways of dealing with hurts. I will talk about that later.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I declare concerning my life and marriage, I have victory, the enemy has lost the battle over my life and mind. I refuse to stay in hurt and unforgiveness, Jesus is glorified.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name of Jesus every fiery dart of the evil one is destroyed in my life and marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Forgive and let go of every hurt today
SINGLES- How Do I Know If Someone Really Loves Me?
How to know if he/she really loves.
All Amnon wanted was to satisfy that rush of adrenalin. He went so far, as to think he was in love, but once his lust was pacified, love vanished into thin air.
Love is willing to wait, lust demands immediate satisfaction. Never forget that. True love will not insist that you compromise your virtue. True love will protect. True love will honour. True love will respect.
So what more is true love?
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Amnon feigned sickness and deceived his father!
True love will not pretend, deceive or trap you. He was never interested in the food. Amnon refused to consider the consequences.
True love is not stupid. True love stands to reason in respect to God’s standard Amnon’s love for Tamar was not natural. It was incest.
True love will not enter into perversion to prove itself; Amnon forced Tamar and raped her, despite that Tamar called him ‘brother’
True love will protect, it will not violate your sanctity. Amnon hated Tamar afterward.
True love is not fickle, instant, or temporal, it is enduring and lasting. True love does not go back and forth. It is stable. Even when tried, it still stands strong.
I pray for you today, that God will guide you, lead and help you to differentiate between true love and lust. You will not miss it in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God loves me. I will comprehend what true love is and operate in its boundaries. I am not confused. I have a sound mind. I receive God’s kind of love
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I break off from all emotional bondage. Spirit of God, lead me and guide me in my relationship, I resist every spirit of confusion and manipulations.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. –Proverbs 15:17 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Adjust your attitudes and start relating with the one who truely loves
What exactly is true love? How do I know if a man truly loves me? How do I know if a lady truly loves me?
While putting in mind that there are so many definitions and perceptions of what true love is, it is pertinent to remind ourselves that true love can only be defined by Scriptural standards. Why is this so? God is love.
True love can only come from anyone that really knows God. A man that doesn’t know God is incapable of showing true love. He may be caring and nice by your own standards, but as long as He doesn’t know God, he doesn’t understand the dynamics of true love.
That is why we will be going back into the Bible to see the true definition of love.
And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her. –2Samuel 13:1-2 (KJV)
In our devotion this morning, the story of Amnon comes to mind. Verse one of the above scripture tells us that Amnon was in love with his sister.
Verse two tells us that she was so vexed with love that he fell sick. It was no longer a soul’s battle; it became rottenness in his bones.
From the above, one will naturally conclude that this is genuine love. What do you think? Was the love genuine?
For him to fall sick, he must really be in love! Isn’t that how some men come around you and truthfully tell you that they can’t eat again, sleep again because of love? Can we conclude about a man’s love for a woman by virtue of his being “vexed” to the point of sickness?
Look at a few translations:
Amnon was obsessed with his sister Tamar to the point of making himself sick over her…–2Samuel 13:2 (MSG)
Can obsession equal true love?
And Amnon was so troubled that he fell sick…–2Samuel 13:2 (AMP)
Can being troubled equal true love?
And he was so deeply in love that he became ill… –2Samuel 13:2 (BBE)
Can being deeply in love equal true love?
Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar. –2Samuel 13:2 (NIV)
Can being frustrated equal true love?
Well, before we conclude, let’s see what happened a few verses away.
Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her. –2Samuel 13:2 (KJV)
Here is the Message translation:
But he wouldn’t listen. Being much stronger than she, he raped her. –2Samuel 13:2 (MSG)
This couldn’t be true love! How would you rape someone you profess to love? Something is not quite right there. Sometimes all he wants is sex. That is not love! Sometimes, all she wants is your money. That is not true love!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God loves me. I will comprehend what true love is and operate within its boundaries. I am not confused. I have a sound mind. I receive God’s kind of love
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I break off from all emotional bondage. Spirit of God, lead me and guide me in my relationship, I resist every spirit of confusion and manipulations.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. –Proverbs 15:17 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Adjust your attitudes and start relating with the one who truly loves
There are opportunities to lust, to fill our eyes, ears and mouth with promiscuous pictures, movies and lyrics. There are opportunities for pornography, masturbation, homosexuality, lesbianism and the likes.
These are opportunities that should be rejected. You see, there are opportunities that can swallow destinies without a trace. There are opportunities that look like favour but are eternal traps.
No wonder the Bible says favour can be deceitful. There are opportunities that look like testimonies but are orchestrations of hell to trap you.
You see, there are gifts one can take that will make you want to curse God because your hands would be tied. You must be very discerning! You must be like the three Hebrew boys who refused to bow to the idol!
Couples have a lot of opportunities to do ‘good’. A ‘thank you’ here and a ‘word of affirmation’ there will go a long way to improve your marriage.
There are opportunities to profess your unfailing love to your spouse and to labour in prayers for them.
There can be a loving hug, an affectionate touch; an eye to eye contact that speaks volume, the list is endless.
But all these happen only when we are sensitive and discerning and when we go out of our way and comfort zone to extend a loving hand. On the other hand, opportunities to hurt our spouses are like love busters.
They bust the bubbles that make our marriages exciting. They kill the romance and affection in our relationships.
Identify opportunities in the light of the scripture. Let God guide you to know which to accept and embrace and which to reject and avoid.
Men can be doors and they can also be walls. Be discerning. Men can be open doors and they can also be disguised traps!
God will give you wisdom in Jesus name. He will open your eyes to see beyond the obvious. He will help you to identify godly opportunities in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am loving and kind. I seize every opportunity to do good in my marriage. I am sensitive to the needs of my spouse. I seek to understand my spouse. I am not selfish in my approach to my spouse. I seek to understand our differences. I respect those differences and seek to adjust to them. My love account with my spouse is good.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I ask for the grace to be selfless. Help me to bring out the best in my spouse and to be lovingly devoted to him/her in love. Help me to use the many opportunities you are giving me well to sow good and lasting seeds of love into my marriage in Jesus’ name. Amen.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. –Galatians 6:10 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the good things you can do to improve your relationship with your spouse. Begin to take note of opportunities to show affection to your spouse. Minimize love busters as much as possible.
Chance or opportunity is defined as a suitable time or opportunity (favourable time) to do something, especially something ‘good’ and worthwhile. In our marriages, there are opportune times.
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. –Ecclesiastics 9:11 (KJV)
There are opportunities to do good for our spouses. But most of the time we don’t take advantage of these opportunities. We are not often sensitive to our spouses’ needs.
We most often see things from our own standpoint and not from their viewpoint. This calls for understanding. It becomes impossible to love someone you do not understand. You simply become critical.
The Book of Proverbs says ‘Wisdom is the principal thing, in all thy getting get understanding’.
This means as you are ‘getting’ married, also get understanding of the person you are married to. Each day is filled with numerous opportunities to be kind, sacrificial, loving, understanding, tender, and instructive.
There are also opportunities to be selfish, to think only of your own feelings, and opportunities to fall into sexual sins.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am loving and kind. I seize every opportunity to do good in my marriage. I am sensitive to the needs of my spouse. I seek to understand my spouse. I am not selfish in my approach to my spouse. I seek to understand our differences. I respect those differences and seek to adjust to them. My love account with my spouse is good.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I ask for the grace to be selfless. Help me to bring out the best in my spouse and to be lovingly devoted to him/her in love. Help me to use the many opportunities you are giving me well to sow good and lasting seeds of love into my marriage in Jesus’ name. Amen.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. –Galatians 6:10 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the good things you can do to improve your relationship with your spouse. Begin to take note of opportunities to show affection to your spouse. Minimize love busters as much as possible.
