Yesterday we learned about baggages in marriage, that we all have and come into our marriage with different kinds of baggage.
We also learned that these baggages are unresolved issues from our past, our background, and from our childhood experiences. These baggages or bags or luggages have to be emptied and the content exposed and dealt with.
We established that in marriage no secrets are allowed. Everything must be open and talked about.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Gen 2:25 (KJV)
Today, we will be looking at the various types of baggage we carry into marriage. Most of these we don’t even know we carry. Rest comes to our wearied souls as promised by Jesus only when we learn to come unto him in total surrender and then confess our faults one to another.
Types of Baggage
Relationship Baggage
This type of baggage is from our childhood relationships. Where we felt rejected, unloved, neglected, or criticized. Where we have a sense of shame or a low self-esteemed of ourselves. For whatever reasons we feel not up to the standard of other people.
Spiritual Baggage
Here we have learned to combine spirituality with lies and other vices. We grow up in church yet do a lot of bad stuff, like steal offerings, watch pornography in the church toilet or during sermons, sleep with a unit member, and still hide under being spiritual.
Moral Baggage
When you have this type of baggage, your sense of judgment is warped. You cannot decertify between good and bad. You even call good bad. You don’t know what is morally right. You smoke weed, you get involved with lesbianism, watch pornography, gamble, and the like.
Emotional Baggage
You were in several relationships that never worked or were involved with different ladies/ men and had emotional affairs with them. Maybe you were involved sexually with them in other to keep the relationship.
Physical Baggage
Here you kept your distance from people; this is similar to relational baggage. You enjoy solitude. You don’t want or like to associate with people. You suspect everybody and feel everyone is bad.
Sexual Baggage
With this, you are involved with all manner of sexual escapades. Sex toys, threesome, abortion, sex with strange men and women, prostitution, one-night stand, sex for material gains, etc.
Now that we have an idea of the type of baggages we may be carrying, these are the steps involved in dealing with them.
1. Unpack Your Bag: Stop hiding your bags, bring them to the open and be willing and ready to unpack.
2. Unload: Seek help from counselors, don’t try to handle things alone. You also need someone to be accountable to.
3. Be Patient: Don’t be too much in a hurry, be patient and follow due process.
4. Lighten Your Load by Forgiven: Forgive all those you have to forgive including yourself.
5. Take Classes Together: You need information, so you and your spouse needs all the education you can get.
6. Let Go Of Past Hurts: It’s important you let go and keep them in your past, so that you can experience new life.
God bless your marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Rest comes to my soul
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, help me to be open about my baggages
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:25 (KJV)
It is funny that after some years, we begin to despise our spouse and claim that they are no longer good or that they are the cause of our misfortune or that they have slowed us down. As this statement might be correct, it is not absolutely true.
As a couple, no one succeeds without the input of the other, no matter how little. One spouse may have the great strength and skills to go to the ‘battle’, but remember the one who stayed at home and made sure everything back at home is defended.
Once you are married, you are no longer two, but one flesh. If you feel because of the ignorance or disobedience of your partner you are experiencing some sort of delay, then you have to work together as a team. Defeat your enemy together.
You both have a common enemy, the enemy of your progress and advancement. The enemy that does not want you both to fulfill purpose and destiny.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Sometimes, you just need to accept your partner as they are on their way to becoming better. You have to love them to transformation.
We love our parents and accept them with all their weaknesses. We don’t try to change them or educate them. We just accept them and learn to deal with them with love.
We have to also deal with our spouse the same way. Just as our parents are our parents and we can’t change the fact that our parents gave us birth, so also we can’t change the fact that our spouse are our spouse. We married them and we are in a long lasting, never ending covenant.
Marriage is a covenant and should be lived as such. The Bible tell us to submit to one another out of our reverence and respect for the Lord.
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. – Eph 5:19
We are only able to submit to one another when we know our spouse well enough. It is easier to submit to the one we know well enough. We not only know our spouse, but we understand their person and deal with them based on our knowledge of them.
May God grant us strength, courage and understanding to work together as a team in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have a good understanding of my spouse.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray that you and your spouse will be united the more.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. – Eph 5:19
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start believing God together
Rejoice Again And Again In Your Marriage. The Bible says husbands should enjoy the wife of their youth. This means you both should enjoy yourselves while you have the strength as a young couple. Don’t be too serious at home and learn to live together as best friends.
The force of joy is very vital on the home front. Joy, celebration, thanksgiving, rejoicing, the sound of melody, praises, and worship to God all go hand in hand.
Let the people praise thee, O God; let all the people praise thee. Then shall the earth yield her increase; and God, even our own God, shall bless us. – Psa 67:5-6
We are encouraged in this scripture to praise the Lord, then our earth, whatever it is the represents earth will yield her increase. Whether barrenness, lack, joblessness, debt etc
The logical thing to do is get moody when things are not working. But we operate from a higher level. We rejoice to get the increase. Your boss, spouse or colleague may be treated you bad. You don’t fight back you switch into praise.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Receive Grace and strength to enter into praise. God inhabit your praise. Your praise invite God to fight on your behalf.
Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. – Php 4:4
Let nothing steal your joy. Let your rejoicing be in the Lord
Don’t allow the pressure of finances, raising children, in- laws and others destabilize your togetherness and joy. Nothing must come in between your joy. Between the two of you, one person will be more playful and tend towards being joyful all the time
Let the playful one take the initiative and the other follow suit.
The Holy Spirit knows what He’s saying when He says enjoy the wife of your youth. Be deliberate in making each other happy. Do not make others outside your home or marriage happy at the expense of your spouse.
Read books together and discuss them. Invest in each other.
I pray your marriage will be beautiful and filled with new wine.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I love my spouse and we enjoy life together
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord help us to be joyful always.
THOUGHTS OF THE DAY Ecc 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Rejoice and enjoy yourself
Best Ways To Fall In Love Again As Couples – Part 3. This is the conclusion of our discussion in the last three days.
8. Respect each other’s space
You have to respect each other’s space. Let your spouse be. Sometimes back, my husband was quite busy putting our services online and doing other ministry stuff to meet a particular schedule. Then he finished his work and all the tension seem to have disappeared, so he wanted to play.
It was however a wrong time for me to play. I was praying and studying. He did play for some time but he respected my time to study and pray. We respected each other’s space and were willing to understand and help each other grow.
9. Be each other’s friend
Being each other’s friend has to do with everything including being gist partners, cheerleader, number 1 fan, critic, prayer partner, jester, teaser, confidant, gossip, gist partner, teacher, mentor, leader, you just name it.
Just focus on each other. Do things that please each other. Love each other. Follow the guiding words of 1 Corinthians 13. Love each other genuinely.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
10. Be your unique self
Your uniqueness remains your best selling point that endears you to your spouse. Of cause, try to be an improvement of who you are but don’t lose your flavor. Your flavor is the taste your spouse can never get anywhere else.
Do things that your spouse can remember with only you. Avoid nagging, being unfriendly, cold, harsh, or abusive. Try also not to be lazy because it takes hard work to build a marriage.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to be a lazy spouse
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray for a closer bonding with your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief – we’re not oblivious to his sly ways! (2Co 2:11 MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take out time to bond with your spouse
We know money is a major part of our lives as married couples. In fact, we make about 70% of our decision based on finances.
The house we live in, the area we stay in, how many kids we have, what school they go to, what type of clothes they wear, the type of food they eat, how comfortable the house we live in is, do we rent an apartment or buy one, what work we do, where we work, what part of the country we live in, what type of friends we have, the type of car(s) we have, what church we attend, our spiritual level…and it goes on and on.
Money is so important that it appears 123 times in the Bible.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
The only thing that can compete with God in our hearts is mammon or money. Every sin of covetousness, especially of material things is traceable to money issues.
Most Adulteries and fornications are basically traceable to money. For example, a beautiful lady or handsome who you get attracted to is attractive because she/he can afford expensive things that make her beautiful.
No one is attracted to an ugly and poor fellow.
Money is a defence! It can defend our spouse and marriage from falling if properly used
For wisdom is a defence, and money is a defence: but the excellency of knowledge is, that wisdom giveth life to them that have it. – Ecc 7:12
So as couples, it is important we talk about finances and guard against its adverse effect on our marriage because we can make money serve us at whatever level we are in. Money will answer and solve the majority of our marital problems.
A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things. – Ecc 10:19
To be continued…
CONFESSION OF THE DAY We have money. Money doesn’t have us. We are rich.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give us the wisdom to know how to multiply whatever amount of money we have in Jesus name.
THOUGHT OF THE DAY Ecc 10:19 A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss the points with your spouse
