Several years ago, the weather was really hot. The power was out. One particular night, power was restored and I woke my hubby to put on the air conditioner. I usually enjoy him doing stuff like that for me. He woke up and as he was getting out of bed, he discovered that the whole rug was flooded with water.
What happened was that the sink in the bathroom was blocked, someone (probably one of the boys) left the tap on and when power was restored, the brother staying with us switched on the pumping machine and before we knew it, our room was simply flooded!
This was a little past 12.00 am and we had no choice but to remove the rug and start mopping. You can bet it was not funny at all. Thank God for a good, hardworking hubby like mine who did the job. (I did a little too).
My point this morning is that if your sink is blocked, be ready for some sleepless nights, unnecessary mopping, and the like.
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. – Ephesians 4:29 (KJV)
In marriage, this same principle applies to your communication sink. Once it is blocked, you require extra work. Repair and remove every blockage affecting your communication. It only causes troubles uncalled for.
What could cause blockages in your communication sink and how can you handle it?
That is what I will discuss tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to communicate with my spouse. My spirit is not closed towards my spouse. I am a good listener. I am sensitive to my spouse.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I pray, Lord, that you teach me by your Spirit to know how to communicate to my spouse with the right words and at the right time in Jesus Name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY All the words of my mouth are in righteousness; there is nothing froward or perverse in them. -Proverbs 8:8 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a meaningful discussion with your spouse today
The issue of communication in marriage cannot be over emphasized. Think about it, before that relationship started, you had to communicate your love to her.
In preparing for the wedding, you had to do a lot of communication. The problem is a lot of couples stop communicating after marriage.
Words are powerful. Jesus said words are spirits. Spirits don’t die, therefore words don’t die. Jesus said you will account for everything you say.
You can build your marriage with right words and you can ruin it with wrong words. Whilst doing my Master’s Degree programme in Communication and Language Arts, a professor told us in class something simple but powerful.
In communication, the speaker and the hearer are very important. Until what is said is perceived and understood by the receiver, there is no communication. The question is “are you listening to her?”
Spend time with your spouse. Discuss from time to time. If you don’t give your spouse attention, you will be shocked of the extent he/she can go just to get attention.
In some countries, listeners are hired and paid just to listen to women talk. That is how important communication is.
Whatever happens in your marriage, don’t stop communicating. Learn your spouse’s love language, that is his/her password!
You see, out of the abundance, of the heart, the mouth speaks… If you are on his/her mind, there will be communication! When you are rendered incommunicado in a marriage for whatever excuse, it is not a good place to be.
If your marriage is defective, you can still make amends today!
He stands at the door of your heart and knocks. If you open the door for him he will come in right now and realign your marriage.
May God give you more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My mouth is full of right words. The opening of my mouth is unto wisdom and grace.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Spirit of God, fill my mouth with right words over my spouse, children and family
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:4 The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Fix a time for a hearty discussion
Yesterday we learned about baggages in marriage, that we all have and come into our marriage with different kinds of baggage.
We also learned that these baggages are unresolved issues from our past, our background, and from our childhood experiences. These baggages or bags or luggages have to be emptied and the content exposed and dealt with.
We established that in marriage no secrets are allowed. Everything must be open and talked about.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Gen 2:25 (KJV)
Today, we will be looking at the various types of baggage we carry into marriage. Most of these we don’t even know we carry. Rest comes to our wearied souls as promised by Jesus only when we learn to come unto him in total surrender and then confess our faults one to another.
Types of Baggage
Relationship Baggage
This type of baggage is from our childhood relationships. Where we felt rejected, unloved, neglected, or criticized. Where we have a sense of shame or a low self-esteemed of ourselves. For whatever reasons we feel not up to the standard of other people.
Spiritual Baggage
Here we have learned to combine spirituality with lies and other vices. We grow up in church yet do a lot of bad stuff, like steal offerings, watch pornography in the church toilet or during sermons, sleep with a unit member, and still hide under being spiritual.
Moral Baggage
When you have this type of baggage, your sense of judgment is warped. You cannot decertify between good and bad. You even call good bad. You don’t know what is morally right. You smoke weed, you get involved with lesbianism, watch pornography, gamble, and the like.
Emotional Baggage
You were in several relationships that never worked or were involved with different ladies/ men and had emotional affairs with them. Maybe you were involved sexually with them in other to keep the relationship.
Physical Baggage
Here you kept your distance from people; this is similar to relational baggage. You enjoy solitude. You don’t want or like to associate with people. You suspect everybody and feel everyone is bad.
Sexual Baggage
With this, you are involved with all manner of sexual escapades. Sex toys, threesome, abortion, sex with strange men and women, prostitution, one-night stand, sex for material gains, etc.
Now that we have an idea of the type of baggages we may be carrying, these are the steps involved in dealing with them.
1. Unpack Your Bag: Stop hiding your bags, bring them to the open and be willing and ready to unpack.
2. Unload: Seek help from counselors, don’t try to handle things alone. You also need someone to be accountable to.
3. Be Patient: Don’t be too much in a hurry, be patient and follow due process.
4. Lighten Your Load by Forgiven: Forgive all those you have to forgive including yourself.
5. Take Classes Together: You need information, so you and your spouse needs all the education you can get.
6. Let Go Of Past Hurts: It’s important you let go and keep them in your past, so that you can experience new life.
God bless your marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Rest comes to my soul
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, help me to be open about my baggages
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:25 (KJV)
It is funny that after some years, we begin to despise our spouse and claim that they are no longer good or that they are the cause of our misfortune or that they have slowed us down. As this statement might be correct, it is not absolutely true.
As a couple, no one succeeds without the input of the other, no matter how little. One spouse may have the great strength and skills to go to the ‘battle’, but remember the one who stayed at home and made sure everything back at home is defended.
Once you are married, you are no longer two, but one flesh. If you feel because of the ignorance or disobedience of your partner you are experiencing some sort of delay, then you have to work together as a team. Defeat your enemy together.
You both have a common enemy, the enemy of your progress and advancement. The enemy that does not want you both to fulfill purpose and destiny.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Sometimes, you just need to accept your partner as they are on their way to becoming better. You have to love them to transformation.
We love our parents and accept them with all their weaknesses. We don’t try to change them or educate them. We just accept them and learn to deal with them with love.
We have to also deal with our spouse the same way. Just as our parents are our parents and we can’t change the fact that our parents gave us birth, so also we can’t change the fact that our spouse are our spouse. We married them and we are in a long lasting, never ending covenant.
Marriage is a covenant and should be lived as such. The Bible tell us to submit to one another out of our reverence and respect for the Lord.
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. – Eph 5:19
We are only able to submit to one another when we know our spouse well enough. It is easier to submit to the one we know well enough. We not only know our spouse, but we understand their person and deal with them based on our knowledge of them.
May God grant us strength, courage and understanding to work together as a team in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have a good understanding of my spouse.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray that you and your spouse will be united the more.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. – Eph 5:19
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start believing God together
Rejoice Again And Again In Your Marriage. The Bible says husbands should enjoy the wife of their youth. This means you both should enjoy yourselves while you have the strength as a young couple. Don’t be too serious at home and learn to live together as best friends.
The force of joy is very vital on the home front. Joy, celebration, thanksgiving, rejoicing, the sound of melody, praises, and worship to God all go hand in hand.
Let the people praise thee, O God; let all the people praise thee. Then shall the earth yield her increase; and God, even our own God, shall bless us. – Psa 67:5-6
We are encouraged in this scripture to praise the Lord, then our earth, whatever it is the represents earth will yield her increase. Whether barrenness, lack, joblessness, debt etc
The logical thing to do is get moody when things are not working. But we operate from a higher level. We rejoice to get the increase. Your boss, spouse or colleague may be treated you bad. You don’t fight back you switch into praise.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Receive Grace and strength to enter into praise. God inhabit your praise. Your praise invite God to fight on your behalf.
Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. – Php 4:4
Let nothing steal your joy. Let your rejoicing be in the Lord
Don’t allow the pressure of finances, raising children, in- laws and others destabilize your togetherness and joy. Nothing must come in between your joy. Between the two of you, one person will be more playful and tend towards being joyful all the time
Let the playful one take the initiative and the other follow suit.
The Holy Spirit knows what He’s saying when He says enjoy the wife of your youth. Be deliberate in making each other happy. Do not make others outside your home or marriage happy at the expense of your spouse.
Read books together and discuss them. Invest in each other.
I pray your marriage will be beautiful and filled with new wine.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I love my spouse and we enjoy life together
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord help us to be joyful always.
THOUGHTS OF THE DAY Ecc 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Rejoice and enjoy yourself
