How To Deal With Baggages In Marriage – Part 2

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Yesterday we learned about baggages in marriage, that we all have and come into our marriage with different kinds of baggage.

We also learned that these baggages are unresolved issues from our past, our background, and from our childhood experiences. These baggages or bags or luggages have to be emptied and the content exposed and dealt with.

We established that in marriage no secrets are allowed. Everything must be open and talked about.

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Gen 2:25 (KJV) 

Today, we will be looking at the various types of baggage we carry into marriage. Most of these we don’t even know we carry. Rest comes to our wearied souls as promised by Jesus only when we learn to come unto him in total surrender and then confess our faults one to another.

Types of Baggage

  • Relationship Baggage

This type of baggage is from our childhood relationships. Where we felt rejected, unloved, neglected, or criticized. Where we have a sense of shame or a low self-esteemed of ourselves. For whatever reasons we feel not up to the standard of other people.

  • Spiritual Baggage

Here we have learned to combine spirituality with lies and other vices. We grow up in church yet do a lot of bad stuff, like steal offerings, watch pornography in the church toilet or during sermons, sleep with a unit member, and still hide under being spiritual.

  • Moral Baggage

When you have this type of baggage, your sense of judgment is warped. You cannot decertify between good and bad. You even call good bad. You don’t know what is morally right. You smoke weed, you get involved with lesbianism, watch pornography, gamble, and the like.

  • Emotional Baggage

You were in several relationships that never worked or were involved with different ladies/ men and had emotional affairs with them. Maybe you were involved sexually with them in other to keep the relationship.

  • Physical Baggage

Here you kept your distance from people; this is similar to relational baggage. You enjoy solitude. You don’t want or like to associate with people. You suspect everybody and feel everyone is bad.

  • Sexual Baggage

With this, you are involved with all manner of sexual escapades. Sex toys, threesome, abortion, sex with strange men and women, prostitution, one-night stand, sex for material gains, etc.

Now that we have an idea of the type of baggages we may be carrying, these are the steps involved in dealing with them.

1. Unpack Your Bag: Stop hiding your bags, bring them to the open and be willing and ready to unpack.

2. Unload: Seek help from counselors, don’t try to handle things alone. You also need someone to be accountable to.

3. Be Patient: Don’t be too much in a hurry, be patient and follow due process.

4. Lighten Your Load by Forgiven: Forgive all those you have to forgive including yourself.

5. Take Classes Together: You need information, so you and your spouse needs all the education you can get.

6. Let Go Of Past Hurts: It’s important you let go and keep them in your past, so that you can experience new life.

God bless your marriage!

Rest comes to my soul

Oh Lord, help me to be open about my baggages

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:25 (KJV) 

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How To Deal With Baggages In Marriage – Part 2

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