COUPLES – There are certain challenging situations that may arise in marriage. One of this is handling an affair. There are two sides to this situation; there is the part of the erring spouse and that of the other spouse.
In an affair or adultery, the bulk of the work lies on the spouse that had an affair, the responsibility is on him/her. The responsibility of the other spouse is just to be supportive and to forgive.
The erring spouse has the responsibility of being brutally truthful, sincere and repentant.
There are some scenarios that the spouse is under demonic influence and finds it difficult to be sincere or truthful. Prayers to God for healing by giving him/her a new and clean heart will be necessary; this is because to successfully handle an affair squarely requires sincerity and truthfulness.
Let’s see some practical steps in handling an affair.
1. Confrontation
The first step to handling an affair is confronting it. What you don’t confront, you can never change. The erring spouse should come to a place where he/she knows that having an affair is an attempt of the devil to steal, kill and destroy you.
You should call it a sin and not just a mistake; it is not confrontation when you still make excuses or when you explain.
2. Ask For Forgiveness
There is no forgiveness until there is a willingness to turn around from your sins. The erring spouse should acknowledge that he/she needs to be forgiven.
3. Seek Help And Support
That an affair has taken place shows that there are principles you don’t know, or there are principles you are taking for granted. You need to be educated and informed.
This is the time to search for books that talks about how to handle lust, how to handle affairs, how to set healthy boundaries, how to love and satisfy your spouse, etc.
What reading along this line does is that you get enlightened; when light comes, ignorance vanishes. It is also good to learn how you fell, because recognizing the pit-fall will help you avoid such next time.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to honor my marriage vows.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, help me to Bea faithful spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I bless GOD every chance I get; my lungs expand with his praise. –Psalms 34:1 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the above steps of you are guilty.
We started on the topic “Ways to Know that your marriage needs help” in yesterday’s devotional. let’s look at a few more
3. When the couples keep secrets from each other
There are different vital information that your spouse considers you should not keep away from them. Keeping such information away for whatever reasons could create a crack in the marriage. Trust is broken and you never see yourself as being naked and not ashamed.
4. When there is still parental influence
The Bible clearly says in Gen 2: 23, the husband should leave father and mother and cleave to his wife.
Parents, no doubt, want what is best for their children but we have to obey scriptures for our marriage to work like God planned it. Parents could be sentimental and biased when it comes to their opinion or judging issues in case there is a misunderstanding. So avoid the involvement of your own parents in your marital affairs as much as possible.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
5. When there is extramarital affairs
When there is extra marital affairs either by the husband or wife or from both couples, it’s a serious sign that all is not well. Whatever the justification whether out of retaliation, offense, being promiscuous, ignorance, neglect from either spouse, health conditions, financial constraints or whatever the reason. Whenever there is infidelity there is serious problem.
Maybe it is not a full blown affair, it is still under an emotional affair or an office affair they are all danger signs.
Seek help before it gets out of hand.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I seek the needed help when I need it.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord surround me with my helpers and let me recognize them.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 20:2 Send thee help from the sanctuary, and strengthen thee out of Zion;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY I will sincerely look into my marriage and identify areas where we need help
Hello there, every couple or marriage has the potentiality of being tempted into an affair. Now, you need to understand that there are different types of affairs. Whatever or whichever affair, it’s best to close the door on any type of affair. Your spouse may be innocent or naive but there are desperate fellows out there. Oftentimes, these people are under the influence of Satan.
Remember the devil’s ministry is to steal, kill and destroy. Don’t give the devil a foot hold or he will take a mile. Affair proofing your marriage is not about becoming a SSS or a monitoring spirit and stalking your spouse all around.
Here are some tips that will help you protect your spouse from affair.
1. Make yourself so valuable to your spouse, he/she will always need you 2. Be true and genuine friends. 3. Love your spouse deeply. 4. Strive at all times to meet each other’s deepest needs. 5. Keep communication open all the time. The more you share communication on deep issues the more you protect your spouse from external influences. 6. Pray for your spouse daily and pray together daily. 7. Let your marriage be mentored. 8. Make God and His word and principle be the life line of your marriage. 9. Be sincere with each other in all things no matter how insignificant it may look. 10. Develop your individual fellowship with the Holy Spirit so you can be sensitive to His leading. This way the Holy Spirit can help you discern people with a ulterior motive around your spouse.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My spouse is protected from affairs
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, keep me and my spouse safe from affairs.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: (1 Peter 3:8 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to affair proof your marriage
An affair is an illegalrelationship with anyone other than your spouse. It could be sexual and non-sexual in nature. Each spouse should set boundaries of how far they can go with the relationship with the opposite sex. I feel we should all work on our relationship with our spouse in such a way that we will not need other persons to fulfill our desires, cravings, attention, and longings. If we are satisfied emotionally and sexually there will be no reasons for an affair. We don’t live in a perfect world or perfect situation neither are our spouses perfect.
A born-again child of God is not expected to have an affair. However, when an affair does happen, these are practical steps to go about handling it. No matter what happens, our spouse remains our covenant partner. We should seek their restoration by handling the situation well. On the part of the spouse having an affair, things should also be handled with all sincerity so that it never happens again.
1. Confrontation
The first step to handling an affair is confronting it. What you don’t confront you can never change. The erring spouse should come to a place where he/ she knows that having an affair is an attempt of the devil to steal, kill and destroy from you. You should call it a sin and not just a mistake. You are not confronting when you still make excuses or when you explain.
2. Ask for forgiveness.
There is no forgiveness until there is a willingness to turn around from your sins. The erring spouse should acknowledge that he/she needs to be forgiven.
3. Seek help and support.
That an affair has taken place shows that there are principles you don’t know or are taking for granted. You need to be educated and informed. This is the time to search for books that talk about how to handling lust, how to handle affairs, how to set healthy boundaries, how to love and satisfy your spouse. The resources are so much. What reading along this line does is that you get enlightened. When the light comes, ignorance vanishes. It is also good to learn how you fell, because recognizing the pitfall will help you avoid such next time.
It is my prayer that God will grant us more understanding.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am committed to my marriage vows.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love my spouse appropriately.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY If you are having an affair, make amends today
