Sometimes, when someone does something we don’t like or aren’t used to, we start labeling it a “red flag.” For instance, we’re like, They’re too quiet, too deep, too serious, too ‘into God.” Or they’re not texting fast enough. They don’t talk the way we expect. They have boundaries we’re not used to. And boom, immediately we tag it a red flag.
But here’s the truth: not everything that feels uncomfortable is a red flag. Sometimes it’s just unfamiliar. Sometimes it’s challenging your unhealed parts. Sometimes it’s healthy, but unhealed wounds, maybe from past relationships, just make it feel “off.”
On the other side, we can also miss the real red flags because they come in a nice package. Good vibes. Easy conversations. Physical attraction. Maybe even church attendance. But beneath all that, there’s inconsistency, lack of growth, poor character, and zero spiritual leadership. We ignore it simply because they “get us,” or because we’re already emotionally invested.
And this is how people end up in relationships/marriages where they thought they picked a green flag, only to realize it was painted red the whole time.
Here are real red flags that should not be ignored:
1. They say they love God, but their life says otherwise. If someone consistently minimizes faith, mocks spiritual things, or lives in unrepentant sin, that’s not just a “difference”—that’s direction. Love is hard to grow when you’re walking in opposite directions.
2. They charm in public, but control in private. Emotional manipulation often wears a smile. If they make you feel small, confused, guilty, or constantly responsible for their emotions, you’re not building love, you’re managing dysfunction.
3. There’s no accountability, no mentorship, no godly voice they submit to. If no one can speak into their life, correct them, or call them out, you eventually won’t be able to either. Humility is essential in a God-honoring relationship.
4. They’re always hiding something. Secrets, double lives, half-truths, or silence when transparency is needed—this will slowly erode trust. Trust is hard to build, and easy to break.
So before you write someone off, ask: Is this truly a red flag or just something unfamiliar or different from what I imagined? And before you commit, ask: Is this genuinely right, or does it just feel good right now?
Sometimes, what feels “off” at first is just new and worth giving space to grow. And sometimes what feels “right” in the moment is just familiar but not necessarily healthy.
Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
It’s not just about guarding your heart out of fear. It’s about inviting God to shape your lens so you see and not overlook something good… or settle for something that simply looks good.
Several things should be considered before signing the dotted lines with anybody. I have outlined four of them, which I hope you’ll find useful.
1. Hear God.
Yes, that has to be the first thing. Make sure you hear God audibly. Make sure God is the one leading you into that marriage.
Do you know why?
Matt 7:25-27 [ESV] And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
Both houses faced the same test. Whether you heard God or you heard yourself, there would be challenges. If you are sure God led you to the relationship or marriage, you can navigate those challenges together.
And if you are married already, go back to where God spoke to you about him or her. Replay those encounters in your mind. It will shoot some adrenaline into you and give the desired energy to forge ahead.
2. Get your company involved
Everyone has a company, a group of people that share similar beliefs. Don’t do a relationship in isolation. Get them involved. Carry them along. Any relationship that aims to isolate you from your company (if it’s a good company)is a red flag.
Sometimes, we get tired of running alone. Sometimes, we need someone or some people to cheer us on. That is what your company is for.
Acts 4:23 [NKJV] And being let go, they went to their own companions and reported all that the chief priests and elders had said to them.
If you are in the wrong company, receive the strength to exit.
3. Create boundaries
Oh yes, this has to be on the list. You need to create boundaries. A relationship with no set boundaries will settle for anything, including things that don’t reflect godly purity.
You both need to sit and talk. How far can we go? Who can we allow access to our lives? When do we call it a day, by 2 am?
Even as a couple, you need to set boundaries. Who can stay over at your place? How much influence will parents have?
Don’t just assume these issues will sort themselves out. Talk about it and take a stand.
4. Have a defined goal
If you don’t define your relationship, you will abuse it. Why I’m I in a relationship with this person? What do we want to achieve in this marriage?
The cinemas and outings are good, but be sure to ask definite questions along the way.
Ask for short and long-term goals. With that, you will know if you fit or not.
Even if you heard God, the relationship still has to be defined. How long is this relationship going to last? Don’t assume it will lead to marriage; ask.
It’s not the grand gestures that keep love alive. It’s the little things.
A “How was your day?” asked with real interest.
A hand squeezed during a stressful moment.
A text that says, “I’m thinking about you.”
A back rub when no one asks for it. For couples only!
A sincere “thank you” after dinner. Couples too.
Little things.
But they matter in the equation of love.
While we are waiting for big moments to express our love, the little foxes are eating away the love, night after night.
Because love doesn’t fall apart overnight. It crumbles in the absence of the small, daily signs that say, “You still matter to me.”
And love doesn’t flourish from once-in-a-year surprises—it grows with consistent, quiet care.
Sometimes we wait for the perfect time to express love:
“I’ll take her out next month.”
“I’ll say something nice when things are less tense.”
“I’ll start being intentional when I feel more appreciated.”
But the best time is now.
More so, the grand surprises soon lose their bite/flavour in the absence of the daily small acts of love—acts that say, “I see you,” “I care about you.”
So, intentionally start working on the little, ordinary expressions of love. That may be the fix you need now.
Love is fed by the ordinary. The unplanned. The unseen.
And if you keep showing up in the small ways, the big moments will take care of themselves.
So, don’t wait for love to feel big. Make it small and meaningful—again and again.
That’s how hearts stay close. That’s how relationships last.
God’s will for man has always been rooted in purpose, growth, and dominion. In the very beginning, He declared His intent in Genesis 1:28: “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion…” This wasn’t just a suggestion. It was a divine mandate to increase, grow, and take charge.
God is not interested in giving us physical increase at the expense of our souls. His desire is that our growth begins from the inside out. “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth” (3 John 1:2). Before we ask for blessings, breakthroughs, or expansion, God wants our souls to mature in Him.
Many times, delays in certain areas of our lives are not because we aren’t praying or working hard. It’s not that God is deaf to our cries. Sometimes, it’s simply because our inner man is not yet ready to steward the increase we are asking for. God, in His mercy, withholds what could destroy us.
Apostle Paul captures this in 1 Corinthians 3:6-7: “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.” Increase is a process. Planting must take place. Watering must follow. Then, God releases growth. When there is a lack of spiritual preparation, increase can become a burden rather than a blessing.
Galatians 4:1 says: “As long as the heir is a child, he differeth nothing from a servant, though he be lord of all.” God doesn’t release dominion to spiritual infants. He waits for sons and daughters who are ready to grow in wisdom, faith, and intimacy with Him.
So, what seed are you planting today? What steps are you taking to grow spiritually? Are you preparing your soul for the increase God desires to bring?
I charge you to seek God’s will first, because when the soul prospers, increase follows.
If conversations devolve into yelling matches, silent treatments, or complete avoidance, communication has likely collapsed. Healthy dialogue is the lifeblood of any marriage. James 1:19 advises, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” A therapist can teach effective communication skills to bridge the gap between spouses.
6. Abuse Is Present
Any form of abuse—physical, emotional, verbal, or financial—is unacceptable and requires immediate attention. Safety must always come first. If abuse is occurring, seek therapy professionally and consider protective measures. Matthew 7:12 teaches, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” No one deserves to live in fear, and therapy can help victims find healing while holding abusers accountable.
7. Life Transitions Are Overwhelming the Relationship
Major life changes—such as job loss, health crises, the birth of a child, or grief—can strain even the strongest marriages. When these transitions spiral into conflict or resentment, therapy offers support and strategies to navigate the challenges together. Philippians 4:6 encourages, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God.”
8. One Partner Refuses to Engage
If one spouse has emotionally checked out or refuses to work on the marriage, therapy becomes essential. Even if only one partner initially participates, counseling can provide clarity, healing, and insight into the next steps. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 emphasizes teamwork: “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.”
Why Early Intervention Matters
Waiting too long to address marital problems can lead to irreparable damage. The earlier you seek therapy, the greater the chances of restoring your relationship. A licensed counselor or Christian therapist can offer biblical wisdom, practical tools, and compassionate guidance tailored to your unique situation. Learn more about how to seek therapy, counseling and courses Here
Marriage is a beautiful covenant, but it’s not immune to challenges. While every relationship experiences ups and downs, some issues require professional guidance to prevent further damage. Knowing when to seek therapy can be the difference between healing and heartbreak. Here are key signs that indicate your marriage may urgently need therapy—and why taking action sooner rather than later is vital.
1. Constant Conflict Without Resolution
If arguments have become a daily norm and resolution feels impossible, it’s time to seek therapy. Persistent conflict without healthy communication erodes trust and intimacy. Proverbs 17:14 warns, “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” A therapist can provide tools to navigate disagreements constructively and restore peace.
2. Emotional or Physical Disconnection
When emotional distance grows—or worse, physical intimacy disappears—it’s a red flag. This disconnection often stems from unresolved issues or unmet needs. Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken,” symbolizing the strength of unity. Therapy can help couples reconnect emotionally and spiritually, rebuilding the bond they once shared.
3. Trust Has Been Broken
Infidelity, dishonesty, or breaches of trust can devastate a marriage. Whether it’s an affair, financial deception, or repeated broken promises, these wounds run deep. Psalm 51:10 prays, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” A trained therapist can guide both partners through forgiveness, accountability, and restoration—a process that’s difficult to navigate alone.
4. One or Both Partners Are Considering Separation or Divorce
When thoughts of separation or divorce enter the conversation, it’s a critical moment for intervention. Therapy provides a safe space to explore underlying issues and determine if reconciliation is possible. Malachi 2:16 declares, “God hates divorce,” underscoring the sacredness of marriage. Seeking therapy at this stage shows a willingness to fight for the relationship.
Solomon had everything: wisdom, wealth, power, and influence. He had experienced life to the fullest, yet he came to a conclusion that none of it could truly satisfy. Despite having everything most people dream of, he realized they were all ultimately “meaningless,” like chasing the wind.
Ecclesiastes 1:14 (NIV): “I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”
It’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of what we think will bring us fulfillment. It could be a relationship, a promotion, a certain way of life—believing that once we get it, we will feel complete. But even when we do reach those goals, we’re often left asking, “Is this it?” That’s what Solomon is pointing out.
Ecclesiastes 2:11 says, “When I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”
These things can never fully satisfy us because they aren’t meant to. They’re fleeting, temporary, and ultimately hollow when placed at the center of our hearts.
This doesn’t mean that relationships, careers, or achievements are bad. They can be wonderful gifts when we view them through the lens of God’s will. But when we place our identity and sense of worth in them, they become idols.
This is why having a relationship with God is so important. It’s not about going through the motions or only turning to Him in times of need—it’s about having a daily encounter with Him that will shape every aspect of our lives.
Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” When we make God the center of our lives, everything else falls into place. We stop looking to temporary things to fulfill us and begin to find our peace, worth, and joy in Him alone.
Jesus made it clear in John 15:5: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing.” Just as a branch cannot survive without being connected to the vine, we can’t truly live without being rooted in God. Our sense of purpose and fulfillment flows directly from our relationship with Him. Without that connection, we are like a branch that just withers and dies.
Conclusion: The truth is, no matter how hard we chase after things—relationships, success, or approval—if they’re not rooted in God, they will leave us feeling empty. True satisfaction comes not from what we achieve or accumulate but from knowing God deeply and making Him the center of our lives. So let’s stop chasing what will never satisfy and start pursuing the One who gives our lives true meaning, purpose, and peace.
Preparing for marriage as a single person is a wise thing to do. Lack of adequate preparation can cause the marriage to fail. Most singles however don’t know what or how to prepare for marriage. These 5 simple tips provides you with what to concentrate on. The list is not exhausted but you can start with this.
1. Develop a Deep Relationship with God
Before building a life with someone else, build a strong foundation with God. A thriving spiritual life sets the tone for a godly marriage.
Cultivate regular prayer, worship, and time in the Word. Learn to hear God’s voice for yourself—you’ll need it when making decisions with a spouse.
2. Work on Emotional Healing and Wholeness
Unresolved wounds can spill into your future marriage. Take time to confront past trauma, brokenness, or bitterness so you don’t carry them into your new home.
See a counselor, talk to a mentor, or start journaling through emotional triggers. Wholeness is the best gift you can offer your future spouse.
3. Learn Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills
Marriage thrives on communication—not just talking but listening, understanding, and working through disagreements with love.
Practice these skills now with friends, family, or coworkers. Notice how you react under pressure and work on being honest, kind, and calm in tough moments.
4. Be Financially and Personally Responsible
Marriage involves shared goals and responsibilities. Learning to manage your finances, time, and home life now helps reduce future stress.
Create a budget, build a savings habit, and learn basic life skills—like cooking, cleaning, or scheduling. Self-discipline now = peace later.
5. Surround Yourself with Healthy Relationships and Mentorship
The people you spend time with shape your expectations and character. Community and mentorship help you prepare with wisdom and accountability.
Seek out married couples you admire. Ask questions. Learn from their mistakes and wins. Build friendships that challenge you to grow in godly maturity.
Married couples, too, can find these 5 tips beneficial to them.
Being a great wife is not about perfection—it’s about embodying qualities that reflect love, respect, and selflessness. A godly wife seeks to honor God in her marriage while nurturing and supporting her husband. Here are five qualities that make a great wife, inspired by biblical principles and practical wisdom.
1. She Loves with Patience and Kindness
A great wife demonstrates love that is patient and kind, even during challenging times. 1 Corinthians 13:4 reminds us, “Love is patient, love is kind.” Her ability to extend grace and understanding creates a peaceful and loving home environment. A wife who loves this way builds a strong emotional foundation for the marriage.
2. She Respects and Encourages Her Husband
Respect is a cornerstone of a thriving marriage. A great wife honors her husband, affirming his strengths and encouraging him in his role. Ephesians 5:33 says, “The wife must respect her husband.” By speaking words of affirmation and showing admiration, she inspires confidence and unity in the relationship.
3. She Communicates with Grace and Wisdom
Healthy communication is essential for any marriage. A great wife listens attentively, speaks gently, and resolves conflicts with humility. Proverbs 12:18 teaches, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Her thoughtful words foster trust, intimacy, and mutual understanding.
4. She Is Faithful and Committed
Faithfulness is a hallmark of a great wife. Whether it’s standing by her husband through trials or honoring the covenant of marriage, her commitment remains steadfast. Proverbs 31:10-12 describes a virtuous wife as one “whose husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” A faithful wife reflects God’s unwavering love and devotion.
5. She Supports and Builds Up Her Family
A great wife plays a vital role in nurturing her family. She manages her household with care, supports her husband’s goals, and raises children (if applicable) with love and discipline. Titus 2:4-5 encourages women to “love their husbands and children, be self-controlled, pure, and kind.” By prioritizing her family, she creates a harmonious and godly home.
Hey, you. Yes, you—the one who’s tired of love talks.
Tired of hearing “wait on God.”
Tired of trying to make your marriage work.
Tired of hoping someone will choose you and stay.
Tired of feeling like love is for everyone else… except you.
Can I be honest with you? Love can be exhausting—when it’s done in your strength, when you’re doing all the bending, adjusting, forgiving, praying, and hoping… while the other person barely notices. When you feel like you’ve been faithful, but love hasn’t been kind in return.
But here’s what you need to know:
God sees you. He hasn’t forgotten. He isn’t late. And no, you’re not too broken, too difficult, or too anything to be loved right.
You were never created to chase love. You were created to carry it. To be full of it. To walk in it—with or without a ring, a title, or romantic gestures. Your value doesn’t increase because someone texts you “good morning” or posts your photo. You are loved now. Completely. Unconditionally. Eternally.
So, take a breath. Stop striving. Let God love you into wholeness before anyone else tries to hold your heart. Or before the one holding your heart (your spouse) learns to hold it well.
And when love comes, it won’t make you beg, drain, or confuse you. It will honour what God has already healed.
You’re not hard to love. You’re just waiting to be loved right.
In the world of Christian service, it’s easy to celebrate spiritual gifts like preaching, singing, prophesying, healing, and teaching. These gifts are beautiful, powerful, and God-given. But there’s something even more important in God’s eyes: the fruits of the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…” These are not glamorous abilities we show off on platforms. They are quiet proofs of maturity. They reflect who we are, not just what we can do.
You can be a firebrand preacher and still be proud. You can sing like angels and still lack patience. You can prophesy accurately and still treat people with contempt. Sadly, we sometimes place more value on being “gifted” than being Christlike.
God desires our character before charisma. The gifts draw men, but it is the fruit that keeps them. You may attract a spouse, an audience, or an opportunity with your talent, but only fruit will sustain relationships, influence, and favor.
The Bible warns in Matthew 7:16, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” Not their gifting, not their title, but their fruit. This means our love, humility, gentleness, and faithfulness are what truly matter to God.
In your walk with God, aim to bear fruit before chasing platforms. Let people say, “She is kind,” “He’s gentle,” not just “Wow, they’re anointed!” Because when gifts fade or slow down, character will still stand tall.
So, let’s seek to be fruitful first, and then let the gifts flow. Meanwhile, a life rooted in the Spirit will naturally grow into both.
Being a great husband isn’t about perfection—it’s about embodying qualities that reflect love, commitment, and selflessness. A godly husband strives to honor God in his marriage while nurturing and cherishing his wife. Here are five qualities that make a great husband, inspired by biblical principles and practical wisdom.
1. He Loves Unconditionally
A great husband loves his wife with an unconditional, sacrificial love that mirrors Christ’s love for the church. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This kind of love doesn’t depend on circumstances or emotions—it’s steadfast, forgiving, and enduring.
A husband who loves unconditionally creates a safe and loving environment for his wife to thrive.
2. He Leads with Humility
True leadership in marriage is not about control but about serving with humility. A great husband leads by example, putting his wife’s needs before his own. Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.” Humble leadership fosters respect, trust, and unity in the relationship.
3. He Communicates Openly and Honestly
Communication is the foundation of a healthy marriage. A great husband listens actively, speaks kindly, and resolves conflicts maturely. Proverbs 18:21 teaches, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” His words should build up, encourage, and affirm his wife, creating emotional intimacy and understanding.
4. He Is Faithful and Committed
Faithfulness is a hallmark of a great husband. Whether it’s staying loyal through trials or honoring the covenant of marriage, his commitment never wavers. Malachi 2:16 declares, “The Lord God hates divorce,” emphasizing the sacredness of marital vows. A faithful husband demonstrates unwavering dedication to his wife and their shared future.
5. He Supports and Encourages Growth
A great husband believes in his wife’s potential and supports her dreams and aspirations. He celebrates her strengths and encourages her spiritual, personal, and professional growth. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” By uplifting his wife, he helps her become the best version of herself while strengthening their bond.
Marriage is a beautiful journey—but let’s be real, it’s not always easy. It’s not just about the big wedding day or picture-perfect moments. It’s about the everyday choices—the small acts of love, patience, and grace that keep you connected.
Here’s some heartfelt advice for married couples, from one journeying soul to another:
1. Talk… Really Talk
Don’t just talk about the kids or bills. Talk about how you’re really doing. Share your heart, your dreams, your worries. Open communication is like fresh air—it keeps your marriage alive.
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt…” – Colossians 4:6
2. Be Kind, Even on Hard Days
We all have those days where we’re tired or stressed. But remember—your spouse is not the enemy. A kind word or small act of love can soften even the hardest moments.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32
3. Say ‘I’m Sorry’ and Mean It
We mess up. We say the wrong thing. We forget to listen. That’s life. But owning your mistakes and choosing to make things right is what keeps the foundation strong.
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” – James 5:16
4. Make Time for Just the Two of You
Life gets busy—kids, work, ministry, responsibilities. But your marriage needs attention. Steal those little moments. A quick coffee, a walk after dinner, a chat before bed—it matters.
“There is a time for everything… a time to embrace.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1, 5
5. Pray Together
Prayer keeps you both grounded. It’s not about being super spiritual; it’s about inviting God into your marriage. Even if it’s just a short prayer before sleep, it creates unity.
“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” – Matthew 18:20
6. Stop Comparing Your Marriage to Others
No two marriages are the same. What works for your friend may not work for you. And that’s okay. Focus on your own love story.
“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.” – Galatians 6:4
7. Don’t Forget to Laugh
Laughter is medicine. It breaks tension and brings joy. Dance in the living room, make silly jokes, remember your inside stories—these things matter more than we realize.
“A cheerful heart is good medicine…” – Proverbs 17:22
Marriage isn’t about perfection. It’s about two people choosing to love, forgive, and grow—every single day. With God in the center and love as your anchor, you’ll keep weathering the storms and celebrating the sunshine.
Keep choosing love. Keep choosing each other. Take it one day at a time.
I believe we all have been there before—a time when we just didn’t feel like going on. What is the point of serving God when my requests remain unanswered? Others who do not do half of what I do have results to show for it.
Luke 1:7 KJV And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were now well stricken in years.
This was the ordeal of Zechariah, the priest. A servant of God who gave his all to the kingdom, yet he had an unanswered prayer – he had no child of his own. He would appear regularly to attend to the needs of the people. They looked up to him, brought their issues to him and he would take it to God.
Sometimes, I wonder how he felt anytime he went to the temple. I wonder what his wife must have said a few times. I wonder what his friends or family members would have said to him. Some people would have mocked him, but that didn’t deter Zachariah. He always showed up when due. That was how he got God’s attention.
Perhaps you are feeling discouraged about an unanswered prayer in your life. Perhaps you feel like God has gone on leave. Like Zachariah, keep showing up, for you do not know your day of visitation when God will shift his attention on you.
God appeared to Zechariah at his duty post, doing what he was supposed to do. He did not allow his childlessness to keep him at home. He went about his duty as of before. The moment you start withdrawing from church, withdrawing from praying, withdrawing from studying the word, withdrawing from the believers, the devil is happy because that is what he wants – he has your attention already.
Luke 1:8-9 KJV And it came to pass, that while he executed the priest’s office before God in the order of his course, According to the custom of the priest’s office, his lot was to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord.
Just like his lot was to burn incense, your lot is to praise and worship God. Your lot is to maintain an atmosphere of thanksgiving. That is how to get God’s attention. You were created to serve him. Don’t do otherwise because you are ‘husbandless’ or ‘wifeless’ Don’t entertain offence. Don’t listen to the voice that says you’ve been serving God for a long time and have nothing to show for it. Don’t give up on God yet. God likes to come in at the ‘well-stricken’ point.
Oftentimes, people walk away from toxic relationships, unhealthy attachments, or bad habits, thinking that the battle is over. But leaving is only the first step. The real challenge is filling that empty space with something better. It’s easy to think that once you’ve cut ties with the wrong person or situation, everything will automatically be fine. But if you don’t intentionally fill your heart with positive, God-centered things, you might find yourself slipping back into old patterns even after you might have vowed that it would never happen again.
“When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through dry places seeking rest, and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first.” — Matthew 12:43-45 (NKJV)
This is the very point Jesus was making in Matthew 12. A man was freed from an unclean spirit, but when the spirit returned, it found the house empty. Without something better taking its place, the man’s situation worsened. It’s a pattern we see in relationships, too. If you leave one behind but don’t fill your life with healing, purpose, and spiritual growth, you open yourself up to emptiness and vulnerability. This emptiness can lead you to crave the wrong things: unhealthy attention, distractions, or even another toxic relationship.
Instead of just walking away from bad relationships, it’s crucial to intentionally build a life that’s full of what truly matters—God’s wisdom, His love, and a deeper sense of purpose. Focus on nurturing your relationship with God, growing emotionally, and investing time with people who help you grow in faith. Stay busy with purpose, serve God like never before, and pursue personal growth. When you fill your life with the right things, you create a strong foundation, leaving no room for the wrong things to creep back in.
Leaving behind what’s wrong is an important step, but the real work begins after that. If you don’t fill the empty space with God’s truth, His presence, and a sense of purpose, you are at risk of falling into that same cycle. Today, make the decision to fill your life with His presence so that when love comes, you are not settling out of emptiness but embracing something beautiful because you are whole, ready, and aligned with God’s perfect plan for you.
Some people are constantly trying to earn love. They over-give, over-explain, and overcompensate—just to be seen, heard, and chosen. They do beyond what they naturally would have done simply because they want to prove they are worth loving. Maybe they grew up in a family where love wasn’t freely given—everyone worked to receive love. When you do right, you’re loved; when you make a mistake, love is withdrawn. And so that’s all they’ve known all their lives—working just to earn love. Well, here’s the truth: You were never meant to beg for what should be freely given.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 [NKJV]
You see that? Love is freely given.
For singles, if you constantly feel the need to prove your value to someone, that’s not love—it may well be a performance. Love doesn’t make you walk on eggshells. Love doesn’t manipulate you with silence or keep you in confusion. If you always feel like you’re “not enough” unless you do more, give more, or become someone else, step back and ask: Is this love or emotional slavery? You still have time to walk out of that relationship. The right person will recognise your worth without needing a presentation.
This is not a stamp of approval to remain the way you are—weakness and all. Work on being a better version of yourself, keep growing, etc., but don’t do these things simply because you are trying to buy someone’s love.
This can also creep in subtly in marriage. In such situations, you start feeling invisible—like your efforts go unnoticed, like you have to compete with work, children, or even social media just to get your spouse’s attention. And you can start feeling empty and all. But remember this: You are valuable, even when you’re unseen. And sometimes, the healing starts when you stop trying to earn love and start receiving it the way God intended—freely, confidently, and without fear.
See Romans 5:8 again: “…while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That’s love—undeserved, unearned, unconditional.
Let’s stop shrinking ourselves to fit into someone’s frail idea of love. And you absolutely don’t have to fight to be loved.
The position of a man plays a crucial role in his destiny. Many things we pray about that seem delayed are not necessarily being withheld by God. Rather, they require us to be in the right place to receive them.
Divine positioning is key to unlocking God’s promises. Without it, a person may struggle unnecessarily, even for the simplest things. In Genesis 12:1, God told Abram “Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee.”
God had great plans for Abram, but his current location limited those plans. The wonders and blessings God had in store for him could only manifest after he moved to the place God had ordained for him. Sometimes, a shift in location physically, spiritually, or even mentally is all that is needed for a breakthrough.
One can work tirelessly and still have nothing to show for it. At such moments, the question to ask is: Am I in the right place? The right place is not just about geography; it is about being in the center of God’s will.
When Jesus healed a blind man in Bethsaida, He first led him out of the town before performing the miracle. Could it be that the town was filled with unbelief? Could the atmosphere have hindered the man’s faith and delayed his healing? Jesus knew that the right positioning was necessary for the man’s miracle.
What are you trusting God for? A new job? A spouse? A house? A business breakthrough? Sometimes, the key is not more effort or even more prayers but divine positioning.
Being divinely positioned means being aligned with God’s plan, will, and agenda. Outside of His plan, life becomes a struggle. But when we are where He wants us to be, grace flows effortlessly, doors open, and favor abounds.
Pray today, “Lord, position me in the right place, at the right time, for my destiny to be fulfilled.”
As a single man or lady, you sometimes are all about yourself alone. Certain decisions are made without considering anyone. When you get married, that narrative will change. Whatever you do, you put your spouse first.
What to eat, what to wear, when to return home, where to go, how much to spend, what to buy, etc.
When taking such decisions, you will have to consider your partner.
Mk 10:8 [ESV] and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.
2. Forgiveness.
There is no place where offence is frequent other than marriage. The reason is clear. You get hurt by the one you love so dearly.
Marriage is not a place to keep malice. As a matter of fact, in marriage, you forgive ahead.
Who do you think can offend you 490 times in a day?
Who? Your spouse. You don’t believe, right? Ask a married person beside you.
Mat 18v22 [NIV] Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
3. Assumptions.
Assumption is the lowest level of knowledge. In marriage, couples don’t just make babies; they talk.
They talk about everything.
What you discussed in courtship, you discuss again in marriage. Life happens, and seasons change, so the conversation you had last year may need to be revisited this year.
The moment communication dies, assumptions set in.
You can’t live your life based on hearsay. Always ask.
Oh, I am not the talking type. Really? And you want to get married?
If you don’t talk to your spouse, someone else will do the talking.
Gen 3:1 [ESV] Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”
4. Teamwork.
Marriage is not a competition where you want to find out who the better parent is. You are a team. It is both of you against the world, not against each other.
You don’t have to always have the final say; that’s why you are a team.
Carry him along. Carry her along. That way, it will take extra effort for anyone to come between you.
I am an independent person. I like to do things my own way. That is very good for your level, but the moment you agree to sign the dotted lines, that mentality has to change.
Gen 2v24 [NLT] This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
This devotional is a continuation from yesterday. If you missed it, go here
5. Overwhelmed with Responsibilities:
Life’s pressures—work, finances, family obligations—can leave men feeling overwhelmed and unable to commit further. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God.” Supporting him spiritually can lighten his load. Being overwhelmed is another reason why men often delay decisions.
6. Lack of Clarity:
Sometimes, men delay because they lack clarity about what they want or where the relationship is headed. James 1:5 promises, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault.” Encourage open conversations while trusting God for direction.
7. Fear of Losing Freedom:
Commitment requires sacrifice, and some men often delay for fear of losing their independence. Remind him that true freedom comes from surrendering to God’s plan. Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.”
8. Avoidance of Conflict:
Men may delay addressing issues to avoid uncomfortable conversations or potential conflict. However, unresolved problems only grow worse. Proverbs 27:5-6 states, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” Gentle honesty can help resolve tension constructively.
9. Testing Compatibility:
Some men delay commitment because they’re still assessing whether the relationship is right. Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Building mutual understanding and shared values can reassure both partners.
10. Misaligned Priorities:
For some, career, hobbies, or other pursuits take precedence over relationships. A man who prioritizes worldly success over relational health may need redirection. Matthew 6:33 reminds us, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Encourage him to align his priorities with God’s will.
In relationships, one common frustration women express is that men often delay —whether it’s making decisions, committing to the next step, or addressing important issues. While every man is different, there are recurring patterns and reasons behind these delays. Understanding why men often delay can help foster patience, communication, and growth in your relationship.
Here are 10 reasons men often delay and how faith can guide you through these challenges.
1. Fear of Failure:
Many men often delay because they fear they won’t measure up or succeed. Whether it’s proposing, starting a family, or taking on a new responsibility, the pressure to “get it right” can paralyze them. Proverbs 29:25 reminds us, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Encourage him to trust God rather than his own abilities.
2. Uncertainty About Readiness:
Some men often delay because they genuinely don’t feel ready for the next step. This could stem from financial concerns, emotional maturity, or life goals that aren’t aligned yet. Ecclesiastes 3:1 teaches, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Trusting God’s timing can ease anxiety about readiness.
3. Past Wounds:
Unresolved pain from past relationships or personal struggles can cause hesitation. If he’s been hurt before, he may need time to heal before moving forward. Psalm 147:3 assures us, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Pray for his healing and offer grace as he processes his emotions. These wounds are one reason why men often delay commitment.
4. Desire for Perfection:
Men often delay because they’re waiting for the “perfect” moment or solution. But perfectionism isn’t realistic—or biblical. Matthew 5:48 calls us to strive for godliness, not flawlessness. Help him focus on progress over perfection.
I will conclude on this topic tomorrow. Don’t miss it.
