I purposelydid not use the word ‘Love Language’ but used your wife’s ‘Language’ so that you can see the similarities. It is easier for us to relate to ‘your wife’s Language’ than it is to relate to love language.
Just as you can never think of marrying a wife who does not speak your language, it is ridiculous for you not to speak your wife’s love language.
Every woman has a love language. That love language is what she understands, is used to, and can relate to. In this language, she understands and can sense love.
Until you speak this language, she cannot sense or understand that you love her. It is like speaking Japanese to an English woman. It does not make any sense, and you sure are not making sense to her.
A woman knows that you love her when you communicate this love in a language that she understands. The problem is that most men are communicating this love to their wives in another language.
Note that there is something in every woman that craves being loved by her husband. Yes, she can be loved by her colleagues, friends, or siblings but there is something about the love of her husband. It may be because it is the way God ordered it from the beginning.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.
If husbands want to be found fulfilling their primary and basic role in the marriage covenant, it is good for each husband to learn to speak his wife’s language.
It makes a lot of sense if you at least become conversant with your wife’s language. It helps better communication in the marriage institution. Just like in our illustration of the English woman and the Japanese language speaking to her.
There are five basic love languages. We will look at each one so you can get a good understanding of each of them.
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Service
4. Gifts
5. Physical touch
All these love languages are to be understood if you want to love your wife on her own terms (in her own language) and not yours.
1. Words of affirmation.
If this is your wife’s love language, that just means that she likes to be spoken to. She may or may not be quiet, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that your words mean a lot to her. You have to be constantly speaking words of encouragement to her.
Appreciating her by commenting on her efforts, looks, achievements, and verbalizing your love must be regular.
She senses love when she’s been constantly spoken to. Her energy to move on comes by appreciating her and saying sweet words to her. When you don’t speak kind words to her, she doesn’t sense your love towards her as a husband. Your words must be kind.
If on the contrary, you speak harshly to her, she senses harshness rather than love and sensitivity.
We will continue tomorrow.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for wisdom in your marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise, you cannot pray effectively. ]” (1Pe 3:7, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Find out what her love language is
Today, I wantto encourage us to keep on asking, keep on seeking and keep on knocking. Help is on the way, Help is closer than you think. Don’t give up on your spouse, don’t give up on your children. Help is on the way
Matt 7:9 says, ‘Ask and keep on asking and it shall be given you; seek and keep on seeking and you shall find, knock and keep on knocking and the door shall be opened to you’.
Keep on asking, seeking and knocking on a continual basis day in day out 365 days a year, so that we may keep receiving what we need.
How long do we stay awake all night wrestling with our issues and losing our sleep? Instead of simply casting our cares upon Him by asking Him and trusting Him.
Maybe your spouse has a weakness and you have talked to him/her about it for a long time and he doesn’t seem to listen.
Maybe your spouse even agrees to change but finds it difficult to change. Your children are wayward and they seem impossible.
You are having a difficult time maintaining a close, godly relationship with them. Just don’t give up or maintain the status quo.
You must know how to stay with what you want. Jesus already promised in His word that (Luke 11:13) …how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him”.
God wants us to trust Him with our request. He wants to see how much we trust Him and how much we can stay on what we want without shifting grounds.
You have to keep asking till your marriage becomes what you want it to be. You have to keep on knocking until your children become what they should be.
Never give up on God and this goes for everything. Never give up until you are rich, until you have your children, until you get that job.
God is committed until it is completed.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not give up
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord make right everything wrong in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 128:2 (KJV) For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.
In today’s devotional, I’d be speaking mainly to our women, but men can still learn a thing or two from this. We’re looking at how you can influence your husband as a wife. A woman isso influential- that her role or her absence in a man’s life can be easily felt. Have you ever thought of why most men will eventually remarry after their wife dies? No matter how much he claims to love his wife. Even if he stays without remarrying for a long time or mourns her for a long period of time. He will still eventually get married.
For the women, it is not so. Usually, a woman will stay unmarried after her husband dies. The men will always have one excuse or the other, who will help take care of the kids? But even if the kids are all grown up they still remarry. They would say, who will they talk with? The truth is that a man cannot do without Jeru trip for long. He needs that release for him to be okay and complete.
So if a wife is that important to a man’s life, let wives use their influence well. Don’t let us just reduce it to the other room, taking care of the children and the kitchen. As a wife, you can use that power to positively challenge your husband to move the family forward.
Here are some areas that a woman can influence her husband positively;
1. A wife can encourage her husband to be more spiritual. It is known that women are more spiritual than men, at least they have a heart for God. A woman can encourage him for bible reading, daily devotions, and prayer time.
2. A wife can encourage her husband to go to church.
3. A wife can influence her husband to be committed in God’s house and serve God.
4. A wife can encourage her husband to make financial investments.
5. A wife can influence her husband to build a house and start a business.
6. A wife can encourage her husband to be a nice person.
7. A wife can influence her husband to live healthily and have a healthy lifestyle.
8. A wife can encourage her husband to treat in-laws and family members rightly.
9. A wife can influence her husband to get better at what she knows he can do. e.g get a better education, study a course, pass his exams.
10. A wife can encourage her husband to start something innovative and develop his dreams, talents, aspirations, achieve his goals and start something altogether new.
There is no end to the influence of a woman. Women have been known to influence kings, defeat nations and do near-impossible feats.
God gave you the power to influence. Find out what it is that your husband is called to do and influence him positively. Influence him to be the best in his field of endeavor. Be known for something and let it be a positive influence.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a positive influence on my husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a positive influence on my husband.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A woman shall compass a man
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to deploy your power of influence.
By nowall marriage folks on KHC know that it is the responsibility of the wife to be her husband’s helper or helpmeet.
The Bible says so. God said, ‘I will make for him a help meet”. Every wife has inside her what it takes to be her husband first ever helper.
She has what it takes to be her husband ‘s helper in such a way that he will not have to look outside the marriage for a helper.
The issue is now positioning yourself to be the helper God created you to be. Functioning in the area of our calling. It’s sometimes difficult knowing how to function per time especially with the different areas of his life he needs help.
First, we need to be strong. It is only the strong that can be a help meet indeed. We need to include it in our prayers daily that God should strengthen us to function in the area of our calling as help meets to our husbands.
Every thing that may want to steal our strength is indirectly stealing our ability to be proper help meet. And the bible says the joy of the Lord is our strength.
So we need to guard our joy. Joy is an attitude. We need to make a concrete decision to stay joyful. We don’t want to depend on people, situation or things for our joy. Despite what is going on around us, you have to make up your mind to be joyful.
Every self pity, self condemnation, victim mentality, approval mentality, low self image, feelings of rejection, being approval addictive and every other emotional problems are all that seek to steal our joy.
It will interest you to know that majorly, ladies are the ones that deal with one or more of such emotional problems.There is a constant battle of the devil with the women so that they will not fulfill their destiny and calling as helpers.
But the devil is a liar over you and your home in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am joyful. I fulfill my destiny.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 39:21 (KJV) But the LORD was with Joseph, and shewed him mercy, and gave him favour in the sight of the keeper of the prison.
Every husband musthave loved the wife they married, if not they won’t be in marriage. That you are married shows that you loved each other. Whether the love grew or diminished is now another thing.
If the love has diminished, our aim is to help you find it back. But part of the way to find back this love is to try and care of your wife. Care is spelt being kind and gentle with her. Care also means being deliberate in looking out for the one you love, being concerned for, or about her well-being spirit, soul, and body.
It is about the little things we do to the wife we love that go a long way to show how much we care. There are several other little ways you can show that you care and love your wife, in words and in actions.
For example, telling your wife she is beautiful. This is very simple but it goes a long way in affecting her esteem.
Some wives feel worthless and not able to maximize their potentials because all they hear from their men are negative words. You can replace that with positive words of affirmation.
Words are very important to women. Remember, when she was created the first encounter was with words. She was spoken to by the man in her life. She was told how wonderful she was and how good it is to have her around.
So, it applies that the source of a thing is the sustenance thereof. God showed us that example. For a woman to function optimally, words, positive encouraging words have to be spoken to her.
Another way to care for the woman you love is by showing concern over all her affairs. Show that you care. Show that you are interested. For example, some husbands never care whether their wives have eaten. It’s simple, but my husband asks me if I have eaten from time to time, especially when I am at work.
Ask your wife how she is feeling, especially, if she is the quiet type. You will be surprised by the weight of emotions she’s carrying. Ask her if anything is bothering her. Let her know she has someone to count on. Don’t let that role be taken over by someone else. Be the man and the keeper of her soul. Ask about her welfare spiritually. Does she have certain fears? Ask about her future plans and aspirations. Tell her to go do some checkups medically. Be there for her. Show her care and concern.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” (Hebrews 12:15, KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Share the post above. Invite your friends to join KHC
