There are some things every couple must not joke with in the marriage. They must constantly ensure these things are present in their marriage no matter what happens.
Marriage is for two mature people that are whole. Each person brings his or her wholeness to the marriage to form a whole marriage.
In the natural, it is half plus half that makes whole but in a godly marriage, the equation is different. It is whole plus whole that makes one or whole. In fact, it is whole plus whole plus God that makes a whole entity in marriage.
So let’s look into these few things.
1. Agreement
Do two walk together except they make an appointment and have agreed? – Amo 3:3
There must be an agreement between the couple. They must ensure they always come to a place of agreement. It takes a lot of maturity, respect, and understanding to do that.
I remember when my husband first told me we will be praying online every day 5:30 am to 6:00 am. On that first morning, my body wanted to resist. I had to put my body under and be in agreement for us to do the will of God. And now my body clock has adjusted.
In such a way, we must be in agreement so we can achieve great feats in our lives.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
2. Effective Communication
Your relationship started in the first place because you were able to effectively communicate to your lady that you love her and that you want her to marry you. You made your intentions known to her.
This communication must be an essential tool throughout your marriage and you must be skillful in using it.
Both men and women need to be skillful in communicating. Timing is also important in communication. There are certain times to say certain things. There is the best time when your husband will listen to what you have to say.
There is also the ‘how’, talking about the presentation of what you have to say. There is always a better way to arrange your points, especially if your husband is pretty smart, intelligent, and not too patient. You want to present the most important issues first and sandwich it with accolades.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am in agreement with my spouse in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
I promised to write on the topic “How To Handle A Choleric Wife” especially to help young couples understand themselves and know why their wives act the way she does.
She is not just intentionally bossy, she has an inborn ability to want to lead. She means no harm when she wants to take charge and be in control.
If you have choleric for a wife, you are blessed but only if you know how to manage her well. She will handle things well and you can go to bed if you put her in charge of anything.
The choleric temperament is often tempered with some other secondary temperaments, making the choleric a little subdued.
Here are some of her other strengths and weaknesses and you can best deal with her.
Remember, in marriage, we all make adjustments and we deal with each other according to knowledge.
1. She is energetic, an extrovert, and a goal-getter.
She is never laid back, always in the forefront wherever she is. Her extrovertish nature makes her loud. She always wants to achieve something worthwhile.
Don’t try to keep her down. Try to harness her energy into something the family will benefit from. Celebrate her achievements and praise her for a job well done.
2. She could be inconsiderate, selfish and sharp-tongued
These are some of the weaknesses of the choleric temperament. Rather than being meek and calm, considerate and thoughtful, she is all out to achieve her goals and will do anything or step on any toe on her way. Her sharp tongue is needed to achieve.
Rather than fight her when she is inconsiderate and sharp-tongued, correct her by showing her it is wrong.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Her being extrovert makes her have a lot of friends
She has no secrets and will often bear her heart out to friends. She may talk about her husband, their sex life, and anything that can be said to her friends, mother, sisters and anybody that hat cares to listen.
Don’t rebuke her too harshly. Some of her friends can actually be of help later in the future.
Teach her the dangers of having too many friends and not holding some information. We are meant to make the Holy Spirit our best friend.
4. She finds it difficult to submit
People who have lived with choleric ladies know that a choleric does not submit to anyone except maybe the person she respects greatly
5. She is opinionated
She has to be heard. She states her case intelligently and wants to win the argument all of the time. She wants people to do her bindings. If possible, she would conquer her husband and make him submit to her.
She knows how to talk and may be over-confident, which makes her husband uncomfortable.
You have to teach her from the Bible that every wife that must successfully live with her husband must make her husband feel secured
I will stop here today.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my wife in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my wife in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
This is not an absolute and ‘one answer fits all’ situation approach. There is always an exception to the rule. That is why the best thing that can happen to any married couple is to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to be a child of God, and to walk with God and know His voice.
It is a privilege to have access to the wisdom of God and He can always tell you what to do in your own peculiar circumstances.
I have witnessed the Holy Spirit help me through certain difficult times in my marriage and I am so grateful for those times.
We are talking about husbands and I believe by God’s Grace, I will also write about the wives.
We have four basic temperaments and other temperament blends. We also have modifications of our temperaments based on different factors such as our background, the environment we were raised in, our parents, their beliefs, exposure, the schools we attended, our religious beliefs, circumstances surrounding our childhood, childhood experiences, etc.
Now, you have to understand who you have married. Without understanding, you cannot be an effective helpmeet, and then it’s impossible for you to submit.
These are some qualities of a choleric husband and how to live with him based on knowledge.
1. A choleric is goal-oriented
That means he lives for achievement. He must achieve something. It is not impossible he cancels luxury at home just to cater for his goals.
Join him in whatever he wants to achieve and support him all the way. Encourage him. Don’t fight him or his goals. A choleric fight to finish and makes it a goal to accomplish.
2. A choleric is an obstacle crusher
A choleric crushes whatever is on his way to achieving that goal. Join him don’t criticize him.
3. A choleric is sharped tongued
It is not impossible he is seen verbally abusing his wife and lashing at her. Gently correct him when the event has passed.
4. He is egocentric
Don’t touch the ego. Help massage it especially in the way you talk. Talk to him in a soft tone and he will listen.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
5. A choleric maybe inconsiderate and selfish or self-centered
Whenever he is like this, point his attention to what he is doing.
6. He may defer helping
He may not help out in his wife’s project if it is not his project
Make sure you are not offended. Stand your ground but please be open.
7. A choleric husband makes coarse jokes or comments.
Guide against being offended. Be mature and don’t let his sarcasm get at you. Bear your mind out not in a fight but in honest conversation, maybe later, so that he won’t see you as contesting his ‘simple’ joke.
8. He wants to be in control and he is authoritative
See the good part of this. See it as being a strong leader and celebrate that he is being a man.
Don’t become a jelly under his authority. Enjoy him leading you. You don’t want to be in a position where the wife takes decisions.
There are more, but basically, you handle being married to a choleric husband not by being hurt, in strife, contention, or bitterness, you handle this by being honest and sincere with the way you feel.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my husband in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my husband in Jesus’ name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
We need to continually remind ourselves that life as married couples require a lot of hard work. We need to always make efforts to be whatever is needed in our marriage to be a better spouse
We must all be ready to make sacrifices. Selfishness cannot be tolerated in marriage. Never can superiority complex whether spiritual, financial, societal, intellectual and any form of superiority complex for that matter be tolerated.
Now that you are married, some attitudes must be knocked out of our lives.
Here are five things to never consider. They are no-go areas, all things being equal.
1. Never make your spouse feel intimidated.
Some people are fond of intimidating their partners. They feel to lead, it has to be by force or by coarseness. It is a partnership, not a boss servant relationship. No one is superior or inferior. The husband is the head but that doesn’t mean he is superior.
2. Never cheat on your spouse
Infidelity comes at a high price. It usually costs so much when you are involved in extramarital. The cost of broken trust is very high you don’t want to meddle with it. No matter how much the temptation, it is not worth it.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Never deny your spouse jeru trip
This goes for both husband and wife. Denying your spouse also means not being patient enough and not doing enough foreplay for especially the wife to climax and enjoy it. Don’t deny your spouse the enjoyment God indented in Jerusalem trip. Explore different styles. Proper hygiene is also important. Be considerate of your partner and help out with the kids and some house chores if you must enjoy a pleasurable trip at night.
4. Never keep a secret from your spouse
Well, it is possible you keep certain sensitive issues from your spouse for better timing. But please no secrets. Don’t keep your past a secret from your spouse, no matter how terrible it is. Of cause, wisdom is necessary here.
Don’t keep friends you share secrets and keep secrets for each other.
5. Never shut your spouse up
If you continually shut your spouse, the day you need him/her to make an input or contribution on a matter, he/she will not have confidence. Accord every opinion, suggestion with respect. Learn to listen as there may be wisdom in it. After all, God gave you your spouse to make your lives together better.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am naked and not ashamed with my spouse in all things.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask the Lord to teach you how to be a better spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Practice the above principles.
This is the concluding part of the series. Let’s go further as we unravel the mystery behind having a model marriage.
3. Be submissive
Hmmm ….here we go again. Must we always be submissive and must we always talk about this?
Yes o, my dear sister. We got to emphasize it because that is the way things in the marriage will work. That’s how God ordained it and it cannot be reversed. So darling, just align yourself to it.
Anything that has two heads is a monster. So someone has to be the head and that is your husband. Allow him to be the head. Relinquish the right to lead you to him. Let him have the baton. That’s how you have a model marriage
You too have ideas, your ideas can only work when you put them under his leadership. Submission is ‘mission under’, put your own mission under his.
Don’t give your head a headache or migraine. If he has a headache, he won’t be able to do what he should do. If the head is good, the body enjoys it.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
4. Be his friend
I know it may be a little difficult. For some ladies that were not really friends in courtship or were friends but life happens and it seems the friendship is going down the drain.
Listen, you can develop friendship again. You are in a life-long relationship and you don’t want to spend it with an unfamiliar person. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life being stuck with someone not your friend. Your journey together is much easier and more fun if it is spent with a friend.
5. Be a helper of his destiny
What is his destiny and purpose? Where is he going? To be his helper of destiny, you have to understand his destiny and how to come in at every different season of his life to help him. He will go far with your help.
There is no king without a kingdom. A king cannot do everything by himself. By his position, a king must be helped for the throne to be established. The more subjects the king has, the more his kingdom is established.
What makes a king different from another? They all occupy thrones, but the more those who are helping him, the greater. And his wife should be the number one helper.
We are the queens. Have you seen a king without a queen? He is just not complete. Be that queen you were created to be and the Lord will help us to have a model marriage.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my husband in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my husband in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Ti 2:1 I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
