Killer Attitudes In Relationships And Marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson have not spoken to each other for one month! What? Are you whining me ni? And yet they are both praying daily! Don’t they understand?
There are the good days in marriage and those “bad” days when issues arise between married couples. There are days singles in courtship go out for ice cream, eat out, to cinemas, and all that and there are days calls are not picked up! Killer attitudes in relationships and marriage must not be allowed to seep in!
Wise couples make up their mind that nothing will come between them. Foolish couples gravitate to the times and allow situations to determine their joy.
It is wise to work together and get past “feelings!” It is a fool who fights and bickers over everything.
When the couple is financially buoyant, husband and wife are friends. When the finances are down, there is tactical withdrawal on one or both sides.
Love in marriage should not be based on what is available or what is not.
When either of the spouses starts feeling cheated, it is a fundamental and foundational issue whether they really love themselves genuinely.
If husband and wife have a mutual understanding that they are one, it becomes easier to handle these tense moments.
Selfishness has many flavours. The husband or wife is not complaining, but there is uneasy silence and withdrawal. At the end of the day, they often mess up their faith and their trust in God.
The devil loves such moments. He brings all kinds of suggestions and lies. But then, the devil has nothing to bring to the table except falsehood.
Oh, that husband and wife learn to be sensitive to these antics of the devil.
Be wise. Be prayerful. Never conclude and never think evil of your spouse.
Every time thoughts seep in that your spouse who has been good has suddenly become evil and wicked, know that the devil is at work.
You must be wise and learn to discern the antics of the devil and then reject them.
Singles, beware of sinful traps. These traps slow things down. They often hinder prayers! It is absurd to be praying and fasting for who to marry and at the same time you are giving your body out to hold down potential guys.
“If I no give am, wetin he want, he go leave me na!”
“Make in go na! Abeg!” In name be Abedne-go!
Dear singles, hear me, the one who really loves you will not insist on sex or trap you with sex! Both the guy or the lady can be guilty of this! There is a difference between sex, love, and lust!
Singles and Married, beware of self-deception. These are Killer Attitudes In Relationships And Marriage. You are in strife but you tell yourself all is well. Religious spirits collude with self-deception and there will be a shipwreck of faith. Fasting and prayer become a waste of time because the heart is not right.
Some of the things you get angry over are things that should bring out compassion in you towards your spouse of lover if you indeed love yourselves.
And in these vulnerable moments, know that the devil can easily set you in direct or indirect adultery.
Suddenly enjoying the company of the opposite sex at such moments shows that hell is strategizing over you. Going a step further into a discussion at emotional levels, laughing together, throwing banters at each other while you come home to your spouse grouchy and irritated are all orchestrations of hell to thwart God’s purpose, frustrate your prayers, and make you a loser at the end.
Be wise. Be sensitive. Be selfless. Be spiritual.
And what makes this even more intense, is that all prayers at such moments of tactical strife and buried irritations are truncated.
God looks into the heart. So, the scripture aptly says
Pro 4:23 (KJV) Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
What is going on in your heart?
Somebody who had a revelation of heaven said that our thoughts in heaven are louder than our voices on earth. If that is the case, what do you think you are saying to all of heaven in your thoughts? Would you be proud of them? Selah!
I pray that God will give you more understanding and strength to make needed changes. Let go of these killer attitudes and thank me later!
Be blessed in your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My heart is right toward my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
This Is Not Good For Any Marriage. Responsibility has been abdicated by Mr. Johnson! His wife has become the head of the house. As much as the wife thought she is helping out, an abnormality has crept into that home and it would impact all including the children. They would grow up to see an abnormality as the norm!
Sometimes, it is just the husband’s way of maintaining peace at home, but eventually, storms are gathering because God’s order is being violated. The fact that volcanic eruption has not taken place is not enough of an indication that molten magma is absent within the crust in all its fury.
What are the abnormal scenarios?
1. When the wife becomes the head of the house
Certainly, this is not good for any marriage.
A marriage in which the wife calls the shot is one that is trying to come against God’s order.
A marriage in which the wife insists on her own way of doing things all the time, disregards the leadership of her husband, and manipulates him into doing her bidding will not last.
Eph 5:23 (KJV) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
It is simply not God’s order. Most of the time, husbands who allow such to pass and seem docile are involved in one compromise or the other. Their conscious abdication and docility are the price they pay for the unfaithfulness.
Sooner or later, you’ll discover that you cannot be wiser than God. This Is Not Good For Any Marriage
For singles, do not marry anybody who is lazy, laid back, unwilling to work, and unwilling to take responsibility. This is because this will continue or get even more intense after marriage! The accompanying frustration can hasten departure from this milieu.
2. When the husband abdicates responsibility
A marriage in which the husband refuses to play his role by just being irresponsible will be riddled with issues.
The role of the father cannot be over-emphasized.
Our regeneration needs men that would stand up to what God has called them to do!
The husband is to provide leadership!
Eph 5:23 (MSG) The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
The eyes are located in the head, hence, the sight faculty, the navigation system for the family, the compass, and direction all lie with the husband or father.
The moment this is not supplied, the family can actually get lost in the forest of abuses, absurdities, addictions, and more vile things! This Is Not Good For Any Marriage.
For those who are single, being responsible over you includes waiting for sex till after the wedding! When a party wants sex, by all means, something is not quite right. This will also play out in other areas of life. Being responsible is being able to delay gratification!
I will stop here this morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My relationship/marriage will be good
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, restore your joy back into my relationship/marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Tit 3:3-4 (KJV) For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. [4] But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be committed to your relationship / marriage
The Signs Of An Unhealthy Marriage. Just like a person can be diseased and wouldn’t show for a while, it is possible for a marriage to be unhealthy without immediate expression of the underlying problems. But there would be tell-tale signs. There are many of them, but we will take a look at a few of them this morning.
The Signs Of An Unhealthy Marriage
1. When there is no relationship with God
A marriage in which the couple has no relationship with God is sure to crack with time. You cannot build a home successfully without God.
Psa 127:1 (KJV) Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
It is only God that can turn a house into a home.
Don’t just have a relationship with God, build it, nurture it.
It’s the same for singles getting ready to meet their loved one or already in courtship. Don’t fall in love with someone who doesn’t have a conscious relationship with God.
How do you know a person who doesn’t have a relationship with God? It’s too simple. His actions, words, choices, and priorities will reveal the kind of person he is.
You don’t just want a handsome guy, you also want a spiritual man. You don’t just want a lady with hot legs, her heart must be hot for God too!
It takes a man who really knows God not to slap or beat his wife! It takes a lady who knows God not to become a constant irritation to his husband!
2. When the couple is not accountable
An unaccountable couple is sitting on a keg of powder, waiting to explode any minute.
Life is all about wisdom, and every error and failure experienced is an expression of foolishness lurking within.
Accountability helps you to learn from older couples and those who have been where you are trying to be.
It is the most dangerous thing in this world to fall in love with someone who is not accountable! Singles that hath ears, let them hear now!
The sad part of a counseling session is always that part where this kind of conversation ensues:
“Who is his/her Pastor?”
“He doesn’t have a Pastor”
“What about his parents?”
“His parents can’t talk to him. He won’t listen”
“Does he listen to any of his friends?”
“None of his friends can talk to him.”
“Who does he listen to then?”
“He listens to nobody!”
The moment a guy or lady has disfranchised themselves from all authority figures, the moment they are isolated from any help, the moment they are disconnected from those that can speak into their lives, it is always a complicated situation! So you will do yourself a favour by considering only those who are accountable! If you are already married, ensure you sort this part of accountability lovingly, and prayerfully. May God help us all.
These are two of The Signs Of An Unhealthy Marriage. I will stop here this morning!
Good morning!
I will be 50 in October! Don’t forget to mention me in your prayers today…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I love you passionately.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, please set my heart on fire to love you passionately.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 42:1 (KJV) As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Love your spouse passionately.
The Crazy Thing About “I Do” The day you walked down that aisle and said “Ido,” something happened. It’s almost crazy! Your body is no longer your own, it belongs to your spouse.
A fusion takes place in the realm of the spirit, which is so strong that God proclaimed, “let no man put asunder!”
God becomes the witness of this union, and any attempt to drive a wedge in between this union is coming against God Himself.
As couples who are believers, and well-grounded, the weapon of the devil against you is strategic.
If you are a weak believer with no firm resolve, he can easily bring adultery and infidelity to the table and you will be swept off your feet if you are far from God.
But with those who may be grounded, the devil still has strategies. His weapon is to keep you divided, torment you in your thoughts, and keep you perpetually in strife.
You are not in adultery, but in your mind, you are probably worse off.
This will affect the whole family because your thoughts are magnetic and will determine many things around you.
How will you pray and agree together when the mind of one of the spouses is riddled with doubt, contempt, and dislike for the other?
This is the devil. And you get to know this in little things.
Your spouse is easily excited talking to others but irritated when you are alone.
The friend you saw in your spouse as courting sweethearts has evaporated into thin air!
Sometimes, this shows up as singles in courtship too. Unexplainable and perpetual irritation from one party could be an indication of deep-seated issues.
Before you start blaming him or her, you should take responsibility first for where you find yourself, humble yourself and ask God to help you.
It is another problem entirely when you keep blaming your spouse for your own actions, neglect, and carelessness. That can be unfair and you will never change that way.
It is like a General Manager who keeps blaming his employees for losses and the employees who keep blaming the Manager for their ineffectiveness. That organization is in a quandary!
Stop the blame game! It is a trap of the devil.
See, there is no point wasting your time, there is much to do!
Why would you fast forty days and then use four days of strife to rubbish everything?
Why would you sow seeds for years and then pull them out with careless, selfish thoughts and words?
Common, get on the same page and combine your weapons against the enemy of your soul.
From the day you got married, you can no longer do it alone!
So, get over trivial issues, be it husband or wife, and be on the same page so that you can both enjoy the fullness of God’s blessings in your life.
As singles in courtship, you are simply dissipating a lot of power when you entertain strife continually!
May God bless your relationship, marriage, and home.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will cooperate with my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Devil, take your hands off my marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:16 (KJV) Let not then your good be evil spoken of
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write down what you love about your fiance/spouse and thank God for those things.
The Husband You Should Not Be. He is the wife-beater. He is the cheating husband. He is the Mummy’s boy. Someone once said the word husband means “He that binds the house together! House-Band! There are a lot of things to learn about how to be a good husband! Sadly enough, we were only taught animal “husbandry” in school.
Here is a list of The Husband You Should Not Be
1. The Wife beater
The wife-beater is the violent husband. He is short-fused, and so gets violent at any little provocation.
He is impatient and believes so much in using his fist. Somewhere in his mind, he believes a good slap is more effective than a conversation.
He probably grew up watching his dad beat his wife!
His wife lives in perpetual fear, not knowing when to talk or when to shut up.
If he has an equally aggressive wife, their home is always in chaos, settling one quarrel after the other. After a while, the neighbors don’t bother again. It becomes a usual ritual.
If he has a docile wife, he would feel he is being effective while in effect, he is losing it.
If he is a churchgoer, he blames his antics on the devil every time. Even the devil is amazed at how somebody can lie!
This cannot continue. God demands a change. That woman God gave you is to be cared for and cherished!
“Pastor, you don’t know my wife!”
“You are right. I don’t know her, but I do know the scripture! You are to love that woman!
Say Amen!
2. The cheating husband
The cheating husband, for whatever reason, has been enraptured in stolen waters. He is relishing in another man’s bread, and the scripture aptly says, it is indeed sweet for a while, but in a moment and without warning, it turns into the gravel in his mouth! He is bouncing on a bed that doesn’t belong to him and he would soon land where he never envisaged.
Pro 20:17 (KJV) Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel.
The cheating husband will soon know that that there is a lot of shit in the cheat!
Adultery is the game of the foolish because of the obvious consequences involved.
Pro 6:32 (KJV) But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
The Message Translation says Pro 6:32-33 (MSG) Adultery is a brainless act, soul-destroying, self-destructive; [33] Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good.
It is simply not worth it
If you are a young lady involved with a married man, please, stop it. Such will always end in tears. Don’t slow yourself down. If you don’t know how to go about it, please call me and let me pray for you.
3. The Mummy’s boy The Mummy’s boy does nothing unless he tells his mum first. This can be very annoying to the wife.
There is nothing wrong with having a strong tie with your mum, but it is wrong when your mum comes between you and your wife.
It is absolutely wrong to discuss personal issues with your mum that your wife knows nothing about.
Mummy’s boy needs to change. Your mum is another man’s wife, and you are to focus on your own wife.
This can be a little bit challenging if the man is the only boy raised by his mum, the tie will be strong and the dependence will be massive. But lovingly, patiently and without any rash actions, there should be a gradual disconnection, not to abandon your mum, but in terms of prioritizing relationships.
Your wife comes first. And that is the Bible truth. Above is a list of The Husband You Should Not Be
I will stop here this morning.
May your marriage be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am strong in the Lord
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, take every indecison away from my life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 6:32 (GW) Whoever commits adultery with a woman has no sense. Whoever does this destroys himself.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Apologise to your spouse if need be
