Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson were the quintessential couple everybody admired. But what people saw was the pulchritude. Within the family, the demon of anger reigned supreme. In no time the seemingly beautiful marriage was ruined, because of uncontrollable anger. That which could have been one of the best became a mess. Their marital life could have been a counsel to others, but they canceled each other out!
There are some things that will work and there are some things that will not work. Now, you don’t need to spend another five years trying to experiment what will work and what will not work. You only need to be willing to learn. Every time you make a mistake, it has the potential of hardening your heart against God. This is a tactic of the devil, so life is not to be permanently lived on Mistake Street by Error Avenue. You can decide to go for wisdom.
Be slow to get angry. Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life. This is what the scripture expressly advises. Not a few have lost precious relationships because of anger tantrums. Now, it is okay to be angry sometimes as a human, I do get angry myself sometimes. But when your anger becomes compulsive, uncontrollable and bothering on violence, you need to be careful.
When you get angry, you beat people around you, pick up a fight or destroy things, then you need to consciously pray to God for help. Go on the net and Google ‘anger management’ and get some materials that will help you. Go into the scriptures and study every instance where the words, “anger, angry, wrath, etc occurs.
One of such scriptures says Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:9 KJV)
In order words, if you get angry too quickly, you are a…. (clearing throat) I didn’t write that, you said it!
The translation I like most is this: Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head. (Ecclesiastes 7:9 Message)
The Message translation isn’t playing at all! The next time, you get so angry, walk away and check the mirror, if you can see the lumps there, relax first before you make a decision! Unnecessary anger will ruin relationships. Anger problems will make you say things you will regret later.
See the example of these guys in the scriptures who had serious anger problems. Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their self will they digged down a wall (Genesis 49:5-6 KJV)
Here, their father began to talk about these two brothers who in fits of anger, killed and wiped out a whole community! You see, unnecessary anger will lead to death…death of things, death of relationships, death of opportunities, and even death of marriage!
Do you know how many people have called their lawyers in anger and opted out of marriage, then got married to another person angrily only to discover that the new person is worse? May you not get married to an angry person who has an instrument of cruelty in their habitations. Their father was so furious at their actions and actually placed a curse on them!
Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel. (Genesis 49:7 KJV)
Look at those words: scatter, divide…that is what fierce anger leads to! Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life
If as a single you can see that you have anger issues, don’t ignore it and don’t play the denial card. Talk to your pastor or mentor, get books and read, get into the scripture and study so that your mind can be renewed, and pray to God to help you!
Now when you pray to God to help, more people will come your way to get you angry more and provoke you the more, so that each time you lose it, you can really know you need help and then you can consciously begin to work on it.
As married couples, if both of you are angry at the same time, it can be dangerous. There are husbands that will not talk to their wives for days. That is not being a man! There are wives that get hurt at everything and will close up their spirits against their husbands. How will your prayers be answered?! You can’t run your home like that! You are trusting God to conceive, yet you are always fighting, don’t you know that is the devil?
If one is angry, the other should calm down. Here is some advice for you: A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (Proverbs 15:1 KJV)
Try and see how it works. When the other is angry, don’t raise your voice too. Talk in a whisper, the demon of wrath will fly away! You see that demon works by working you up and causing you to vibrate like the fan made in Aba!
So, when you refuse to vibrate and say the wrong words, the demon loses its power! If he or she goes like, ‘You are crazy! You are mad!’ (That shouldn’t be the language of God’s children)
And then you respond with, ‘Your father is crazy, you mama don craze!”
What do you think will happen?
What about a soft answer, almost a whisper, that goes like, “dear, it is well.” Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life
God will help us all in Jesus’ name.
I rebuke the spirit of anger in your relationship and marriage, I ask the Spirit of God to intervene in your satiation and give you the wisdom to handle it in Jesus’ name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not a fool, therefore, I don’t get angry easily.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I curse every root of anger and wrath in my life in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: (Proverbs 22:24 KJV)
Here’s an Invitation To True Love. Sandy is a church girl. She goes to church regularly, belongs to the choir, and serves God passionately, but she is also caught up with some habitual sins, which she has not been able to confront for a long time.
George is the fellowship head of his campus fellowship but has sexual relationships with some of the flock he is supposed to keep. He knows his lifestyle doesn’t please God, but he would find himself from time to time doing what he preaches against.
Mr. & Mrs. Johnson want to serve God and they are doing all they can. It is just that they are both compromisers, they are seeing someone else. They know it is wrong, but they continued, thinking that somehow, things will just work out. They are practicing what is known as an ”open relationship” where both know they are cheating on each other!
What is common with these people?
They are all involved with what is not going to work. They are all hoping God’s mercy will work for them, and really it will work for a while.
Let’s take a look at the scriptures and see some principles. Here’s An Invitation To True Love, The Invitation to buy:
Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. (Isaiah 55:1 KJV)
Here we see God inviting you to come and buy what you will eat and which will do you good. But these are not the kind of stuff you buy with money. These are the kinds of stuff you buy with time and with your heart.
The very first principle that will ensure success in your relationship, marriage, and life is to have a thirst for the things of God and to go to the waters.
The waters talk about the word of God. You buy revelation for your situation, not with your money but with a sincere and dedicated heart unto God.
You see, your thirst for a good life, a good marriage, a good home, and the good things in life is legitimate. Your thirst to make it, become significant in life, and be wealthy is a legitimate feeling. The hunger to quit living at the lowest rung of the ladder and move up is genuine, but you must take a step further to buy, the right way!
You buy with a good heart unto God and with spending time in God’s word regularly. You see, this is a lasting and tested principle that will quench that thirst of yours.
That thirst cannot be quenched with sex with the one you are not married to. You see, the hunger you feel in your soul, the emptiness of ideas, the feelings of loneliness that envelopes you can only be pacified and satisfied by honoring God’s invitation.
The devil has its own invitation cards as well.
It is an invitation to compromise. It is an invitation to spiritual apathy and mediocrity. It is an invitation to the road that leads to hell. The invitation card looks so alluring and beautiful, but you see, the consequence of honoring an invitation is not in the invitation card but in the person who is inviting you!
The guy who is insisting you should prove your love with sex is offering an invitation. The lady who told you to your face that you are old fashioned by staying away from sex is also offering an invitation.
Do you remember the invitation of the strange woman in Proverbs 7?
So now I’ve come to find you, hoping to catch sight of your face––and here you are! I’ve spread fresh, clean sheets on my bed, colorful imported linens. My bed is aromatic with spices and exotic fragrances. Come, let’s make love all night, spend the night in ecstatic lovemaking! My husband’s not home; he’s away on business, and he won’t be back for a month (Proverbs 7:15-20 Message)
But you see, the invitation is not always the end of the story. There is always a severe consequence when you honour the wrong invitation.
See what follows:
Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. Before you know it, he’s trotting behind her, like a calf led to the butcher shop, Like a stag lured into ambush and then shot with an arrow, Like a bird flying into a net not knowing that its flying life is over (Proverbs 7:21-23 Message)
This is a clear invitation to adultery! Married couples, I challenge you today! Decide to refuse every wrong invitation. It is your choice! That guy or lady that seems better than your spouse is a trap! Do not get tangled in bed with the one you are not married to! The agony that follows such is intense!
God’s invitation will lead you to the good life you have always wanted.
Start the day with God’s word. Stay away from sin. Decide to live for God by refusing every compromise. Don’t play along thinking something will just happen, nothing just happens, everything is a consequence of an action, an effect after a cause!
I will conclude this morning by showing you God’s invitation through the mouth of Jesus Christ. No other invitation will beat this one!
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30 KJV)
Now you won’t really understand the weight of the above invitation until you read it in another translation, and I conclude with that this morning!
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me––watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill–fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly (Matthew 11:28-30 Message)
Oh Jesus! I could preach a whole day from that. I challenge you to refuse and discard every other invitation and accept the invitation from the lover of your soul! Embracing the lover of your soul will lead you into the arms of the love of your life! Here’s An Invitation To True Love
What if you already get entangled as a single or married? Then get disentangled! It’s an issue of your decision, your God, and what God wants for your life! May God help you!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to honour every wrong invitation
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to thirst and hunger after you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30 ESV)
Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover. Mrs. Johnson was petrified. She wished the earth would open up and swallow her. She has just been embarrassed by her husband who shouted at her in the public.
She was like a chicken stripped of all its feathers, as she stood there, completely befuddled and disconcerted. If it was someone else who did this, she would have understood, but it was her husband, who was supposed to be her protector, that exposed her as it were, to preys who looked and sighed cynically.
It was a similar thing that happened between George and Sandy who were not yet married. It was George that was embarrassed in their courtship right in the market! They had gone shopping together and because George was unable to buy what Sandy wanted, she dropped her fiance like a hot potato, not considering what others thought about the situation. She left him there in the cold, and walked away, damning the consequences.
What are those things you shouldn’t do in public? Let’s dive into this.
Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover
1. Don’t talk down on your spouse in the public Avoid this as much as you can. Do not belittle yourselves before friends or family. Get the back of one another. Defend one another and then you can talk more later in the private.
2. Do not correct your spouse publicly. Correction can become criticism quickly depending on the scenario involved. Do not correct your spouse in the presence of friends and family. Wait till you are alone to make that correction.
3. Do not shut down or shout at your spouse privately or publicly. This is one of the things that hurt ladies most. Shouting them down. Avoid doing that to the one you love. And of course, it is more grievous when it is the wife doing that to her husband!
4. Do not make your spouse an object of a joke. Don’t try to be comical by using your spouse as the object of laughter. There is something defective about people laughing at your spouse based on something you said. It can hurt the bone. Simply avoid such. Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not embarrass my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to stay strong and focused on you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase. (Job 8:7 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Keep giving, keep serving and keep rejoicing
Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson are always at a loggerhead. They never agreed. Every statement is a sore point from where conflict arises and intensifies. “I don’t want peace,” “I don’t want peace,” the popular soundtrack on social media are the words that best describe their lives and marriage.
As Mr. And Mrs. Johnson sat before me in the office, I was able to find some habits that are the root causes of their constant imbroglio. It was a long therapy session, but we were able to identify the problems!
There are a few words of wisdom I offered to them. I have been married for twenty-two years and I will be fifty next month, so I have garnered a few things along the line. Below are some of the advice I gave them.
Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage 1. Do not report your spouse to your parents or in-laws. It wouldn’t always work out. Every parent is sentimental towards their children. It is just natural. The bias is as sure as your palms.
Emotions will flare, and there would be bias.
What happens mostly is that you report to them when there are issues, but you don’t call them back when you settle the issues. So they keep making up their minds over time. You keep feeding them with negative stories and you know what, words are so powerful. In no time, if they are not cautious, they will continue to regurgitate all you fed them with and that would be toxic to your marriage.
The only time you should report to parents is when it is only the parents that your spouse listens to.
As singles, you are not yet married, and you are already reporting each other to your prospective in-laws. It is not a good way to go.
It’s akin to one cooking food that he won’t be able to eat.
Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage
2. Do not report your spouse to your colleagues or boss.
If you do, the devil can take advantage of the situation and set you up for an emotional affair.
Once there is an emotional affair, you are only a few touches away from a full-blown adulterous affair.
The beak cake you don’t want to eat, don’t fry it! Reporting your spouse or your loved one continually is a breach of the covenant. Imagine someone hearing a one-sided story many times. The advice you will be offered will be imbalanced and the emotional dependency that will be created from such a relationship will be parasitic at the end of the day.
For singles, in courtship, how do you take advice about your relationship from a friend who is not in any relationship? Something is not quite right! Look for someone who has done what you are trying to do!
Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage
3. Do not manipulate your spouse emotionally
Once your spouse says something or does something that does not resonate with you, you simply shut down and withdraw to your shell.
It is more or less like breeding strife. The devil can take advantage of this type of emotional manipulation and wreak even more havoc.
This is not the right thing to do as it affects your prayer life!
Stay together!
May God bless your marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am wise
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray to God to open your eyes
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 6:23 (MSG) For sound advice is a beacon, good teaching is a light, moral discipline is a life path.
When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore. Mrs. Johnson became distracted and was falling in love with another man at her work place. She really loved God and yet she was sliding down the drain. She couldn’t believe it. Her mind was convoluted, and her emotions were like a roller coaster. She continually expressed her situation to her husband in very subtle statements, but her insensitive husband couldn’t decode the precarious situation.
On the other hand, George who was seeing Sandy was getting distracted by another lady. He tried getting attention of Sandy so as to fend off the new feelings, but Sandy did not have time for him, hence his vulnerability was amplified.
The reality is that statements made by singles in courtship or those married often show the depth of the trap within a relationship or marriage.
Even when you are not in any relationship as a single, your utterances can often reveal the kind of issues you have and that you need to address.
It happens all the time. Born again or not. Distractions set in. Traps come in various forms. Attacks in the mind and against the marriage are incessant.
Adulterous traps, akin to traps used to catch rats, are demonically placed all over. Snares, on almost every turn.
There are statements that your spouse or lover makes that show he or she is being distracted and needs your attention. Don’t ignore your spouse at such moments because you are needed to salvage the situation.
When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore
What are those statements?
Here we go.
1. You don’t have time for me again
You are always around your spouse and yet he or she makes this statement? You need to pay attention lest somebody take your place emotionally. This statement is calling for you to make time available so your lover or spouse can have reassurance that will help deflect the new rush of feelings!
Do not ignore it!
Do not defend!
Do not argue!
Do not turn it into ridicule.
Just make time and have some deep conversations.
Let me drop a word for singles that are not in any relationship. When a single friend says this to you, he or she is trying to show interest and is weighing your reaction to know whether to pursue or retreat! Testing the waters!
So if you don’t like the person and you are not considering any commitments, you can reply with
“Which time now? I be your boyfriend / girlfriend?”
That is enough red light!
But if you really love the person, then you say something like this:
“Haba! You know that you are special to me, don’t you?:”
The person will get the green light to proceed.
When Your Lover Says These Do Not Ignore
2. You are far away from me When your spouse makes this statement, don’t take it lightly. Don’t fight or turn it into a quarrel. Listen to what is being said and what is not being said.
It is possible to be physically close to the one you love, and yet be far away emotionally. That is why couples who sleep on the same bed daily can often complain of loneliness. Sounds ridiculous? It’s the reality!
This person is telling you that the farther away you are, emotionally, the bigger the gap you leave for others to fill.
Married couples, prioritize your relationship with your spouse.
For those in a relationship, and not yet married, there is a twist to this statement. You need to find out if the statement is genuine or simply a call to give in to sex. Some tact and wisdom are needed here. Some decoding of words, and finding out of motives is required here.
When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore. I will stop here and continue later.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not deceived
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me in the right way!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 74:20 (MSG) Remember your promises; the city is in darkness, the countryside violent.
