More Causes of Marital Delay. We started on this yesterday and we will continue this morning
3. You have taken over God’s business
Again, you can bring delay when you try to take over God’s job in your decision of who to get married to. God wants to lead but when you decide to lead yourself, you can bring unnecessary delays.
There are some jobs that are meant for Jehovah, but you are human. Only God knows the right spouse for you. It is good to seek His face and then trust His direction because most of the time, what God is telling you does not settle with your reasoning.
This is not to say that God will lead you to somebody you dislike or you hate and you will now be forced to marry somebody you don’t like. There is nothing like that. God is not an author of confusion. You may not like the person God shows you the very first time you set eyes on him or her, because he or she is still a stranger. But as you get close and become friends, you will come to love this person. Don’t ever marry somebody you dislike or you don’t love because God is “leading” you. There is nothing like that.
4. You have unrealistic wishes
When you have unrealistic wishes, it can actually cause delays. Too many romantic novels, Korean movies, Indian films, and all that can actually drive you to a place of wishful thinking and desires that are unrealistic.
Marriage comes with pressures and frictions caused by temperamental differences and personality disparities, which are visible even at the friendship stage. If you keep getting out of relationships out of the slightest provocation, then you are causing delays. Once you are led by God, the person is born again, Spirit-filled, has the fear of God, has a vision and a purpose, and you are attracted to the person, leave the rest to God!
5. You disregard and disrespect people
People are easily turned off when you have a negative attitude, or you are not courteous. It can actually turn away a potential suitor. Nobody wants to marry an angry, negative-attitude person. It is good to work on yourself when your parents, pastor, friends, and siblings have complained about the same thing. They are not all wrong, you are the one that needs to make amend with the help of the Holy Spirit
6. The purpose and sovereignty of God
Finally, there can be some form of delay because of the sovereignty of God. The purpose of God actually transcends your personal desires. Interestingly, the same purpose of God can speed up marriage when you are not even thinking of it.
If it is the purpose of God, what you see as delay will eventually bring smiles to you because you will rejoice at the end.
Conclusively, make sure you are not bringing a self-imposed delay on yourself with the aforementioned.
The other twist is those who are already married and feel God has not answered their prayers about their spouse’s salvation. Let me encourage you, God will answer your prayers. Keep praying, and never give up, until you see the travails of your heart. God is listening to every bit of your prayers and He will answer you with surety.
I pray that God will help you to make needed changes as a single and lead you into His plans for your lives. You will not be confused.
Singles Conference 2022 is some weeks away! Ensure you are around. The spirit causing the delay will be crushed! And we will be teaching you things you need to do from your end as well. The Spirit of Grace will come upon you and make things easy for you. Find links to register below!
Causes of Marital Delay. When I mean delay, I mean those that have been waiting for a while.
For some, nobody is showing up at all. For some, a few people are showing up and for some, too many people are showing up, just that they don’t seem to be the right people. For some others, it is always “un-marriageable” people. Here are a few scenarios that you need to check to know that all is well from your end.
Causes of Marital Delay
1. You are looking for the perfect person
If you are looking for the perfect person, there will always be some form of delay. You want that person that is totally packaged from heaven, spiritual, sound, can dissect the scriptures, can quote the scriptures and can engage you in spiritual discourse.
The reality is that you will never be able to know that perfect spiritual person because everybody is a project in the making. Knowing a spiritual person is not by the tongues such a person is speaking or by the activities in the church, all that can be successfully staged.
Again, there are many people who sound and appear spiritual as singles but become the most carnally minded after marriage because of the pressures that come with marriage.
Your judgment of who is spiritual and who is not may cause delays, because people usually come as raw materials and not finished products.
This is not to say that you should settle for an unbeliever, but if you are going to eliminate this tendency, you will need to appreciate the people that God sends into your life and not discard them like a piece of paper because they fell short in a certain area.
I still remember the brother who broke up with a sister because all her tongue was “sandal, sandal, sandal… the brother wondered when she will get to buy shoes!
Causes of Marital Delay
2. You are looking for the handsome or beautiful person
Attraction is necessary for deciding who to marry and I always say you should make sure you are attracted to the person you will eventually marry.
But when you are looking for that perfect person in terms of appearance that you have in your mind, you can actually delay yourself.
You see, there is a downside to everybody. Nobody will perfectly fit into the exact picture and definition of “completely handsome” or completely beautiful” in your mind. You will need to eventually drop some of your “stiff and strict” qualities if you really want to get married. After all, it is not as if you are perfect in your own appearance as well.
I will give you an example. You have always wanted a tall and fair lady. Now God sends Sister Sube into your life and she is tall and fair. She matches exactly the picture you have in mind, but the only thing is that she doesn’t fit into one of your desired qualities, which is the fact that she doesn’t have a straight nose. Her nose is flat, but you wanted somebody whose nose is straight like the lady you saw in that film as a teenager! For that reason, you concluded it is not God’s will. You may be wrong!
Another example, Brother Zerubabbel is the exact picture of the husband you’ve been praying for. He is spiritual, he has a hunger for knowledge, he can pray, he is a graduate, he has a good job, he has the exact height you want, he is dark and you have become close friends. The only thing is that his pronunciation is not polished. For example, He pronounces “three” as “tiri” and that irritates you. He pronounces “computer” as “kon-poo-taa” and that irritates you more. For that reason, you said it couldn’t be God!
Well, you may be wrong! Insignificant issues that can be conquered with some learning, polishing, fine-tuning, and adjustments should not be turned into gargantuan reasons for not getting married to a particular person
I will conclude on the Causes of Marital Delay tomorrow. Good morning!
Singles Conference 2022 is some weeks away! Ensure you are around. The spirit causing the delay will be crushed! And we will be teaching you things you need to do from your end as well. The Spirit of Grace will come upon you and make things easy for you. Find links to register below!
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional. Women are simply emotional beings! They are sentimental. Their way of thinking is miles apart from that of a man and they can be very illogical. You must understand and embrace this part about them and help bring the much-needed balance without creating issues.
That was how I got married and then any little thing somebody would be crying. I was like, what’s this? Lol…
By the way, today is my wife’s birthday! Some of you will be used to that now….anniversary yesterday, birthday today. Help me say a word of prayer for her!
Back to our topic, why are the womenfolk sentimental? I will be writing about women, both singles and married, so that men can understand who they are dealing with. 5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
Their Instincts
Yes, their instincts are responsible for why they can be very emotional. Particularly, the maternal instinct can make them overly protective and have exaggerated responses to something a man will be cool with.
Every man has to understand this or else there will be unnecessary issues here and there.
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
2. Past Traumatic Event
If there has been some traumatic experience while growing up, especially if it has to do with some form of abuse, this can affect responses to people and issues. It would be so subtle that it wouldn’t be noticeable, but it would be there.
As the man, you must be willing to lovingly help out till there is total healing in the emotions.
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
3. Their Hormones
Estrogen hormones can cause fluctuations. When there is a surge of this hormone, several emotions can run, fly, swim and do all together at the same time.
They become even more emotional during their cycles and there are different things that happen during this time. Some women can be in pain for a whole week because of this while some just breeze through like nothing is happening! Hormonal imbalance can add more to the waterworks.
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
4. Women use their brains more
Men use the left side of their brains, which is why they are logical. Women use both sides of the brain! They can interpret situations in more depth than men!
They feel more, they sense things more, and little things affect them more.
Rather than the man saying something like” Why would this small thing make you cry or withdrawn? The wise man should show empathy.
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
5. Their Stress Level
When someone is feeling stressed, the Oxytocin hormone is released. When a man is stressed, their testosterone reduces the effects of oxytocin, which makes them aggressive and angry.
However, women have Estrogen, which enhances oxytocin. When this happens, the effects make her feel calm and caring.
Men hardly express their feelings and thoughts, so they react with anger or aggression. Instead of solving things by talking, they are always ready to “fight.”
On the other hand, women tend to want to talk it out so they can express their feelings that way.
Men feel like fighting their way out of their problems. Women want to talk their way out of any problem.
I Want To Apologize! Today is our 23rd wedding anniversary! God has been good! It has been an interesting journey! There have been ups and downs, but God has taken all the glory all the way! It has been stormy, windy, and dusty, but we are still here, serving the Lord, joyfully and tenaciously holding on to the call.
This morning, I want to apologize!
It’s been 23 years! God is good!
Wow, Pastor has done something really terrible? Well, we’ll see! You love “jist” and you want to know what Pastor has done? See how you are glued to your phone and reading with all rapt attention! lol… sometimes your spouse needs that kind of attention!
This morning, I want to quickly address married couples and singles! I want to bring out some choice words from the intricacies of my heart this morning as we take the 23rd floor of the marital mansion!
Back to my apology! I want to apologize to all the wives on KHC and beyond…
To all the wives, I want to apologize on behalf of your husband. I know some of you are hurt, oh…hurt is an understatement. Deeply hurt and intensely too. You’ve been keeping on the appearances, just going through the religious and domestic motions…but very disappointed and lacking energy within. Hurt and bitter. It’s just that you can’t get better by being bitter! You’ve attempted to cover the tears with powder and pomade. I want to say sorry! You have hibernated into your shell and withdrawn your affection! Sorry! Perhaps, you have begun or beginning to channel your thoughts to another…hey! It’s a trap to entangle your soul!
To all husbands, I want to apologize on behalf of your wives! She may not even know she has offended you, but you are withdrawn emotionally and just acting alone. You are succumbing to the trap of the stranger’s bosom gradually! Hey! It’s not the way to go! It’s the way of ruin! Focus only on her breasts…that is what you are covenanted to!
You have been disrespected and she doesn’t seem to understand! Sorry! You are the man! Brace up and give leadership by forgiving. Show the way by being faithful to the wife of your youth!
To all singles, I want to apologize to God! Many singles who are in “courtship” have deserted the “ship” and only “court” is left, courting disaster! Lord, I say sorry!
The bed has been desecrated, without remorse! It has become a form of greeting yourselves! This is not the faith handed over to us! Sex has become the sustenance of courtship, the spree is unending! Oral sex is the norm and you crave for the taste…how that is held confidently in private and microphone held in public day after day without a dint of repentance requires your pause, stop and return to the Almighty, for you have left Him for too long, and things go awry for those who leave Him!
Shall we enter the room of kinky sex and BDSM? Oh no, that is a forbidden area, akin to the evil forest of the olden days that no Homo Sapien is authorized to trudge!
Dear wife, he is sorry! Find a place for forgiveness, that you do not become headless!
Dear husband, she is sorry! Embrace her, and let her be your help and not your hell.
Dear singles, it’s time to say to your Lord and the lover of your soul, we are sorry! It’s time to make amendments and follow the book! God loves you and will forgive all misdemeanors and won’t even remember again upon repentance!
Let the turnaround begin in our relationships! Let the healing begin in our marriage! This is my prayer for you as we celebrate our 23rd anniversary today!
My family with the Ekines
May God bless you today and always! Don’t forget to share this devotional on Facebook, WhatsApp, and groups if it blesses you!
How To Understand That Special Gender. Mrs. Johnson has just arrived from the salon where she had gone to make her hair. Mr. Johnson is in the living room, relaxing and watching the Television.
Mrs. Johnson: (knocks on the door) Mr. Johnson: Who is that? Mrs. Johnson: My dear, it’s me! Mr. Johnson: (Stands up and opens the door, takes a look at his wife, and then his countenance changes)Mrs. Johnson: What is it dear? Mr. Johnson: What is this on your head? Mrs. Johnson: (She didn’t answer, but walked past) Mr. Johnson: What kind of useless hairstyle is this? Mrs. Johnson: But it’s fine now? Mr. Johnson: You have no mirror, right, this thing on your head that makes your head look like that of a chicken?
Well, Mr. Johnson thinks he is being blunt, but he is actually foolish and unwise. Now, this kind of conversation or communication will devastate any woman. It would even be worse if her love language is “words of affirmation.”
It is okay for Mr. Johnson not to like a particular hairstyle. But it is wisdom for him to have first looked at the many hours spent fixing that hair and appreciated that first. After a week or so, he can just give her some money and ask her to change her hairstyle. That is wiser, simpler, and would save the marriage.
What is the point of being in strife because of hairstyle? This is just one of many examples.
In the school of relationships and marriage, communication is the core curriculum. Communication is so important.
How To Understand That Special Gender. Now, there is no effective communication without a language. Even in non-verbal communication, there is “language”
Language is so important that it was the only thing that God needed to tamper with when the human race got ambitious and wanted to build a tower that would reach into the heavens.
God, Himself looked down and said these people are going to succeed because they have “one language”
“And the Lord said, Behold, they are one people and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will do, and now nothing they have imagined they can do will be impossible for them.” (Gen 11:6, AMP)
The only thing God could do to stop their ambition was to garble their language. And that was what He did. The moment they could not understand themselves, the project was impeded and subsequently suspended.
What does that tell you?
When you don’t speak the proper language, a relationship or marriage will have serious issues.
Good and constant communication is the oxygen that relationships and marriage need.
The tower of Babel came to a halt. God simply “scattered” their language.
However, at Pentecost, there was the restoration of languages.
“Then how is it that we hear, each of us, in our own (particular) dialect to which we were born?” (Act 2:8, AMP)
At Pentecost, they heard themselves in the languages they understood most!
From these, we can see how important languages can be even in the things of the Spirit, how much more in a love relationship?
If your fiancee’s or wife’s love language is words of affirmation, what it means is that she doesn’t really sense any love until you affirm her with words.
The moment you keep ignoring this language, she will never be happy. Love languages are like passwords, so learn to speak her love language.
The greatest mistake is to keep speaking the direct opposite of her love language, which is critical words!
When you keep on doing this carelessly, you will never have the best of her. You may not notice much in courtship, but in marriage, she will never be happy. And that will affect a lot of things.
How To Understand That Special Gender. God wants you to make each other happy. Whenever any of you is unhappy, it can affect or hinder your prayers.
In a relationship or marriage, ladies get hurt through “insignificant issues” These issues are insignificant to men, but they are pertinent issues to them.
A successful relationship or marriage is about understanding the other person and trying to please him or her without displeasing God. That is what makes it work.
If your fiancee’s or wife’s love language is words of affirmation, you have to go out of your way to speak her language.
I am sorry. God bless you. Thank you. You are beautiful You are the best. You are the greatest thing that has happened to me. You are God’s greatest gift to me. Anytime I think about you, I cannot but thank God for His favour on my life. Since I met you, my life has never been the same. You are a fresh breath into my life.
I love this food. You are so great at anything you do!
I once heard Dr. Albert Oduwole said that it takes nine affirming words from you before criticism can be well received! Learn from that.
Words mean a lot to women. Words are powerful.
“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” (Pro 16:24, KJV)
But there are also words that can bring bitterness to a lady. Avoid speaking those words to your loved one! Be wise.
You are just stupid! You are a dunce! I regret the day I met you! You are a strange woman, you’ve brought bad luck into my life. You are so ugly, I am just managing you! And so on.
Those kinds of words will tear any relationship or marriage apart. It is a matter of time.
Find out what her love language is and keep speaking that language. It will eliminate a lot of unnecessary friction.
Read this slowly as I conclude this morning:
“The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground. Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing. Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, Here’s what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful;” (1Pe 3:7-10, MSG)
Did you get blessed, go ahead and share! How To Understand That Special Gender
