Secrets That Kill: How to Protect Your Marriage. Lizzie Borden was an American woman who was accused of the 1892 axe murders of her father and stepmother in Fall River, Massachusetts.
Lizzie had kept a number of secrets from her husband, including a secret affair with an actor, and evidence suggested that she had been plotting to kill her father for some time. She also had a very strained relationship with her stepmother and her father, who mistreated her.
The tragic outcome of this case was due to the secrets Lizzie kept from her husband, and the fact that she was not able to confide in him about her problems. Those deaths could have been averted if she opened up to her husband!
Secrets That Kill: How to Protect Your Marriage
Your spouse is a support system God has created to help you out, but how do you get this support when you are secretive and averse to regular communication?
Marriage is a sacred bond between two people, and the foundation of that bond is trust and transparency. In the book of Genesis, we read that “the man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame” (Genesis 2:25).
This passage highlights the importance of being open and honest with one another in a marriage. It is a call for couples to be naked, in the sense of being vulnerable, with each other.
However, in today’s world, many couples find themselves hiding things from one another. Whether it’s a secret phone or an affair, keeping secrets can have a devastating impact on a marriage. The truth is, it takes a lot of effort to keep a secret, and that effort is often directed away from the marriage. The more you hide, the more you are opening the door to the devil to come in and destroy your marriage.
David, the king of Israel, is a prime example of this. He was a man after God’s own heart, yet he fell into the trap of adultery and murder. If he had been open and honest with his wife about his struggles, this tragic event could have been prevented.
Singles, too, should be mindful of this in courtship. If your partner is already hiding things from you, it’s a red flag that should not be ignored. Marriage will not change them, and it’s important to address these issues before taking the next step.
Honesty and transparency are key in any relationship. As a couple, it’s important to make a conscious effort to be open and sincere with each other and to seek help when needed. Remember, the devil’s greatest weapon is deception, and the more you hide, the more vulnerable you become to his attacks. Don’t let the devil come between you and your spouse, work on your relationship and be close to each other.
Secrets That Kill: How to Protect Your Marriage
Here are five steps that one can take to deal with keeping secrets in marriage:
Acknowledge the problem: The first step in dealing with keeping secrets in marriage is to acknowledge that there is a problem. Recognize that secrecy can be harmful to your relationship and that it is important to address it.
Identify the reasons: Identify the reasons why you are keeping secrets from your spouse. Are you afraid of their reaction? Are you ashamed or embarrassed? Understanding the underlying reasons can help you address the problem.
Communicate openly: Talk to your spouse about the secrets you are keeping and why you have been keeping them. Be honest and open about your feelings and concerns. Communication is key to building trust and intimacy in a marriage.
Seek professional help: If you find it difficult to talk to your spouse about the secrets you are keeping or if you need help addressing deeper issues, consider seeking professional counseling or therapy. A therapist can help you work through any issues that may be affecting your relationship.
Take action: Once you have identified the reasons for your secrecy and have communicated openly with your spouse, take action to address the problem. It could be something as simple as changing your behavior or it could involve making more significant changes in your life. The most important thing is to work together with your spouse to find a solution.
May God grant you strength and understanding to do the needful!
Say this Prayer:
Heavenly Father, we come to you today to ask for your protection over our marriage. We know that keeping secrets can be harmful to our relationship. We ask that you would give us the strength and the courage to be open and honest with one another. Help us to identify the reasons why we keep secrets and to address them with love and compassion. Give us the wisdom to seek professional help when needed. Guide us to take action to address the problem and to work together to find a solution. We trust in you and ask that you would protect our marriage from the devil’s attacks. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
Love 101: 5 Things What Every Couple Wants. The love between Mr. and Mrs. Johnson has started waning! Butterflies have stopped flapping their wings in their tummies, no more anticipation and goose pimples! What are they missing? Love is the foundation of any relationship, but what does it really take to make a relationship thrive? In this devotional, we will explore the essential wants of couples and how understanding these needs can lead to a fulfilling and long-lasting partnership.
Love 101: 5 Things What Every Couple Wants.
1. Love
1Co 13:13 (GNB) Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love.
Love is one of the most important things that couples want from one another, as it is the foundation of any relationship. This kind of love is characterized by patience, kindness, selflessness, and forgiveness.
How do you show love?
a. Actions: Examples are cooking a meal for them, doing a household chore, or planning a surprise date. b. Words: Expressing your feelings, and giving compliments deliberately c. Listening: Giving them your full attention, and practicing empathic listening.
2. Respect
Eph 5:33 (GNB) But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.
This means treating one another with kindness, consideration, and dignity and not belittling or speaking down to each other.
How do you show respect?
a.Words: Use polite language, avoid name-calling, and speak kindly. b. Actions: Ask for their opinions, and value their ideas and feelings. c. Boundaries: Not invading their space during work deadlines or intense studies and being sensitive to special moments.
Love 101: 5 Things What Every Couple Wants.
3. Support
Pro 31:11-12 (MSG) Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. [12] Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.
This means being a source of strength and encouragement, helping each other when needed, and being willing to listen and understand feelings.
How do you give support?
a. Actions: Being there when they needed, helping with tasks, and being a sounding board for ideas and feelings. b. Words: Tell your partner that you believe in them, that you are proud of them, and that you will be there for them. This can be very powerful. c. Active listening: Listening to your partner when they talk, not interrupting, and being understanding.
4. Honesty:
Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.
Couples want to be in a relationship built on trust, and for them to be honest. This means being truthful in words and actions, and not hiding things or keeping secrets.
How do you show honesty?
a. Words: Being truthful in what you say, not hiding things, and being transparent in your actions. b. Actions: Being consistent in what you say and do, and being accountable for your actions. c. Transparency: Being open about your thoughts, feelings, and actions and being willing to share information with your partner.
5. Faithfulness:
Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Everybody wants their partner to be faithful to them. This means remaining committed to the relationship and not engaging in physical or emotional infidelity.
How do you show faithfulness?
a. Words: Tell your partner that you are committed to their relationship and that you will be loyal. b. Actions: Avoid situations that may lead to infidelity, such as spending time alone with someone you are attracted to, and being physically and emotionally intimate only with your spouse. Note that physical intimacy is not for singles! c. Boundaries: Setting clear boundaries for what is and isn’t acceptable in the relationship, and being aware of potential temptations.
I will stop here this morning! I hope you are blessed.
What are the new things you learned? Drop comments and let me know!
Infidelity Types You Might Not Know. I throw families into disarray. I bring chaos and agony into marriages. I alter the trajectory of destines of children within the families. My name is infidelity!
We looked at physical infidelity yesterday. This morning, we take an excursion into Infidelity Types You Might Not Know
Physical Infidelity We already explained this yesterday
Emotional infidelity: Emotional infidelity occurs when a partner forms a deep emotional connection with someone other than their partner. This type of infidelity can be just as damaging as physical infidelity because it involves a betrayal of trust and intimacy.
The scripture equated it with the actual infidelity
Mat 5:28 (KJV) But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Cyber infidelity: Cyber infidelity is when a partner engages in online sexual or romantic relationships with someone other than their partner. This can include sexting, messaging, or video chatting with someone they are attracted to.
Most people do this on their phones and it is equally damaging to any marriage
Financial infidelity: Financial infidelity occurs when a partner is dishonest about money matters or engages in financial deception. This can include hiding financial assets or spending money without their partner’s knowledge or consent.
This is so common and people often have different excuses for indulging in this type of infidelity, however, what is wrong is wrong!
Infidelity Types You Might Not Know
Sexual addiction: Sexual addiction is considered as a form of infidelity, where one partner is compulsively seeking sexual gratification outside of the relationship.
This obviously requires no explanation.
Fantasy infidelity: Fantasy infidelity occurs when a partner engages in sexual or romantic fantasies about someone other than their partner. This can include fantasizing about someone they see in real life or online, or engaging in virtual relationships that are not real but still emotionally damaging.
Fantasy infidelity seems safe because it is mostly in the realm of thoughts, but don’t forget we always move in the direction of our most dominant thoughts.
Workplace infidelity: Workplace infidelity occurs when a partner forms a romantic or sexual relationship with someone they work with. This type of infidelity is common and can cause problems both at work and in the relationship.
Pornography addiction: Pornography addiction is also considered as a form of infidelity, where one partner is compulsively seeking sexual gratification through watching pornography, this can lead to emotional disconnection and dissatisfaction in the relationship.
Social media infidelity: Social media infidelity is when a partner engages in romantic or sexual interactions with someone through social media platforms. This can include flirting, sexting, or messaging with someone they are attracted to.
Religious Infidelity: This type of infidelity occurs within a church or mosque. The one being looked upon to care for the souls of men and women decides to desecrate their bodies. A form of manipulation is involved, drawing God’s wrath like no other.
Mar 9:42 (MSG) “On the other hand, if you give one of these simple, childlike believers a hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you’ll soon wish you hadn’t. You’d be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around your neck.
Having identified Infidelity Types You Might Not Know, how does one get out of infidelity?
Identifying and Overcoming Physical Infidelity. Infidelity is a family destroyer. This morning, we begin to attempt to save families by breaking down different kinds of infidelity and then attempting to explain them while also enumerating steps to be taken to stop infidelity.
We begin with physical infidelity. Physical infidelity is when a partner engages in sexual activity with someone other than their partner. This type of infidelity is considered the most traditional and recognizable form of cheating.
Here the line has been crossed and sexual activity is involved. What are the pointers that physical infidelity might be going on?
Identifying and Overcoming Physical Infidelity
Before I go on, be reminded that our meetings will be taken place today on SINGLES and COUPLES Hubs respectively on WhatsApp. If you are not yet on our WhatsApp Community, join HERE to be able to participate tonight,
Identifying and Overcoming Physical Infidelity, Here are pointers.
1. Radical changes in behavioral pattern A partner may start to act differently, such as becoming more secretive or distant, if they are engaging in physical infidelity.
2. Changes in physical appearance A partner may start to pay more attention to their physical appearance or dress differently if they are trying to attract someone else. A sharp contrast in general appearance may be a pointer.
3. Unusual spending habits A partner may start to spend money on new clothes, jewelry, or other gifts for someone else if they are engaging in physical infidelity.
4. Unexpected lateness or absconding A partner may start to make excuses for being away from home or stay away longer than usual if they are engaging in physical infidelity.
5. Suspicious phone or computer activity A partner may start to receive more calls or messages than usual or be secretive about their phone or computer activities if they are engaging in physical infidelity. Chats may be deleted and calls may be taken away from partner.
Please note that you cannot just take one or two scenarios and then jump to conclusion that your spouse is involved in infidelity.
Identifying and Overcoming Physical Infidelity. Let’s take a look at a few ways to stop infidelity.
1. Establish trust and intimacy Building trust and intimacy in a relationship can help prevent infidelity from happening.
2. Communicate openly and honestly Communication is key to understanding each other’s needs, feelings, and concerns.
3. Set boundaries Setting clear boundaries and expectations can help both partners understand what is and isn’t acceptable in the relationship.
4. Seek counseling A therapist or counselor can help couples work through underlying issues that may be contributing to infidelity.
5. Work on the relationship It’s important to actively work on the relationship by spending quality time together, understanding each other’s needs and showing appreciation for each other.
6. Be aware of potential temptations Being aware of potential temptations and avoiding situations that may lead to infidelity can also help prevent it from happening.
7. Be willing to forgive and move on If infidelity has occurred, it is important to be willing to forgive and move on.
It’s important to keep in mind that infidelity can be a complex issue and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Each couple’s situation may require different steps, some may take time and effort to rebuild trust and intimacy, while others may need to seek professional help.
All in all, pray a lot and pay attention to your marriage.
The Most Incredible Article About Infidelity You’ll Ever Read. Most homes have been thrown into disarray! Things have fallen apart in most families, and the center could not hold, because a man or woman would not hold their “center” in check!
Sex, which is one of the greatest gifts God has given to man, has been misused, abused, and has become a tool for manipulation, and witchcraft in the quest for man to satisfy his lust.
The Most Incredible Article About Infidelity
The abortion tables remain red, the surgeon’s scalpels active, and most lives snuffed out before seeing the light of day. Destinies wrecked by traumatic sexual encounters and unmentionable types of sexual abuse before the age of accountability! Marriages are in limbo because man has failed to be satiated with their spouses.
Infidelity is as common as humanity but equally as dangerous as it comes! Ever chew gravel before? This is what the Holy writ likens infidelity to!
Pro 20:17 (MSG) Stolen bread tastes sweet, but soon your mouth is full of gravel.
The sweetness of that which lies in the regions of the waist is never denied, but also the pain and agony which is morphed from the sweetness are laid to bare!
This morning, I am not here to judge you in any way! I am not God! But I will attempt to show you types of infidelity in case you are trapped without “knowing”
I want to talk about ten types of infidelity from today and the coming days! The list is not exhaustive, though!
Physical infidelity
Emotional infidelity:
Cyber infidelity
Financial infidelity
Sexual addiction
Fantasy infidelity
Workplace infidelity
Pornography addiction
Social media infidelity
Religious Infidelity
The Most Incredible Article About Infidelity
God actually calls infidelity something “stupid!” Why? I guess because of the chaos, agony, pain, loss of peace, and many more that it brings to your spouse and the children! Yes, it is that intense!
Take a look: Pro 6:32-33 (KJV) [32] But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. [33] A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.
Oops! This is is punchy and biting! But it’s the truth!
Look at the choice of words:
Lacks understanding
Destroys his own soul
Wound and Dishonour gift
Persistent reproach!
Sure you don’t want all these!
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Pro 6:32-33 (MSG) 32] Adultery is a brainless act, soul-destroying, self-destructive; [33] Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good.
Now, think deeply about this. The word of God has life, so as you think on this, a conviction will set in and when it does, take action!
Quit with the side chick! Stop taking calls from that man! Stop the fantasy journeys of the mind!
Disconnect from that man or woman! Physical or emotional infidelity, God equates them as the same!
Remember, it is soul-destroying! In other words, it’s like a person wants to destroy himself or herself!
Tomorrow and the next few days, I will attempt to show you the types of infidelity that occurs in marriages. Perhaps, you don’t even know it’s infidelity and you are just having fun? Well, jump in from tomorrow! Don’t miss them!
Ensure you use REVIVE prayers below especially if you are dealing with any type of infidelity!
