Are you in love with someone who doesn’t listen to anyone?
Do you have a spouse who has no authority figure over them?
Let’s start with singles.
Nothing is more marriage suicide than that.
Pastor, why would you say that?
The reasons should be self-evident.
Life is lived with the wisdom that God has bestowed upon us, not in aloofness or aloneness.
You will always come to periods in your life when you will require the wisdom of those above you, authoritative figures, and those who have gone before you.
Proverbs, chapter twenty, verse eighteen, says, Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.
Progress in life is based on this principle of getting wisdom from those ahead of you.
The Message Translation of same verse says Form your purpose by asking for counsel, then carry it out using all the help you can get.
Dealing With A Defiant Lover
It is thus bad to fall in love and share a boat with someone who disregards knowledge and listens to no one.
When this happens in a marriage, the other spouse has only one option: pray.
However, as a single person who is not yet married, you have the option of rejecting an evil disguised as love.
Never offer your heart to a man whose heart is inaccessible to everyone.
Never give your heart to a man or woman about whom you cannot speak to anyone.
There is no Pastor.
There is no mentor.
There are no parents. They are alive, but they appear to be dead since their child does not listen to them.
There is no authoritative figure.
He or she is in his or her own universe.
Only consults with friends who are worse than him.
Don’t just walk away from such folks; instead, run for your life.
Dealing With A Defiant Lover
This love thing has a tendency to make people foolish. And it shouldn’t. Take care.
You lose all sense of logic, and this tsunami of feelings completely overwhelms you.
In the midst of all of this, determine whether your lover respects authority figures.
If he doesn’t, you haven’t met anyone yet.
If you are ready married, and this is the situation, you really want to talk to your spouse, seek help urgently and find at least someone they will listen to. With a lot of prayers, hopefully, things will change
A young guy and lady once sat before me in my office. The lady was concerned because, in three years of relationship with a view to marriage, the guy has never given her anything, not a gift, not a dime!
Upon inquiry, the lady has given several gifts, including but not limited to shirts, boxers, trousers, wristwatches, chocolates, and many others.
The guy has given nothing.
“Why haven’t you given anything over the years? I asked him.
“Nothing, nothing really,” was the wry answer he gave.
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I told him right away, “Something is wrong somewhere.” You kept receiving all kinds of items, like she was an NGO or what, without giving anything in reciprocity?
We all know the truism, Love gives! We also know that a love professed that is not backed up with giving, sometimes sacrificial giving, is no love at all.
However, the “give” in love has been twisted and what we have today is nothing short of abuse.
Give and Take, The New Love?
There is workplace harassment where you are denied promotion and other benefits unless you “give” sex! Career opportunities only become a reality when a sexual act is performed.
Young ladies and sometimes guys are faced with this! You know what, as a child of God, never cooperate with such affliction! You will lose both your joy and the job eventually once you create a loophole for the devil through disobedience to God.
There is the Sugar Daddy phenomenon which is a form of transactional relationship where an older, wealthier individual (sugar daddy or sugar mommy) provides financial support or gifts to a younger partner in exchange for companionship. The younger is giving sex and the older is giving money!
This is not a giving love but a violation of love itself and as a child of God, you are to run for your seat life in such circumstances!
And then we even have married couples coercion where the wife would not give sex because the husband has not provided a certain amount of money! This is nothing but an abuse of the marital covenant, it is a subtle manipulation that will lead nowhere!
I can go on and on.
The marriage covenant doesn’t allow such “giving” or “exchange” of love! It is unconditional love!
May God grant more understanding in Jesus’ name!
Meditation: Galatians 5:19 (MSG) It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness;
Tales of woes and regrets litter the entire milieu of social media concerning failed marriages and damaged love affairs.
The media space, particularly the Nollywood, Hollywood, Bollywood, and all other woods constantly weave their plots to suggest nothing good can come out of marriage.
The marriage institution as ordained by God has been inundated with absurd insinuations. It has been twisted and warped, mulled and mutilated, and strange practices are being brandished daily and with temerity before all and sundry.
Why does it look as though it is failing? Why are there so many cheats? Why is it hard to believe that there are still people who will not cheat on their spouses? Why would ladies subject themselves to an affliction and go into marriage believing and expecting to be cheated upon and seeing it as usual?
Why would some older women teach younger ones that their husbands would cheat and that they should cope with it? Are their experiences valid enough to become a standard to hand over to younger ones?
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Marriage Mavericks: Thriving Above All
What is the panacea?
How did those ahead of us get good reports concerning their marriages? What were their secrets?
The writer of Hebrews took us to verse two of chapter Eleven and gave us the blueprint. He literarily handed over to us what would make marriage and indeed life work out.
For by it (Faith) the elders obtained a good report.
The excellent report, the good testimony, the successful relationship that led to the wedding, and the great marriage that became enviable became a reality through faith!
The Message Translation is instructive. It says;
The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.
Marriage Mavericks: Thriving Above All
Do you want to be above the mad, disoriented, and confused crowd? Then get into the act of faith.
This can only be done by a deliberate and conscious effort of fellowship with God and His word, deciding to obey all that is written there. It is simple, right? It is however potent and powerful.
Become a word stickler and you will find yourself in faith!
When all your “toasting” prowess fails and all your love dexterity disappoints, His word will uphold, give you victory and raise a great family for you!
As a child of God, a church worker, a minister, or even a Pastor, who constantly ministers unto God in any capacity, we are to serve God and minister unto Him in reverence and Holy awe.
It shows the state of our heart and it shows the kind of “fire” you are offering unto the Lord.
In the scriptures, there are two ministers who went to offer or minister unto the Lord, and yet they died.
Lev 16:1 (KJV) And the LORD spake unto Moses after the death of the two sons of Aaron, when they offered before the LORD, and died;
What did they offer?
What killed them?
Let’s find out here.
Warning: No Strange Fires
Leviticus 10:1-2 (KJV) And Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, took either of them his censer, and put fire therein, and put incense thereon, and offered strange fire before the LORD, which he commanded them not. And there went out fire from the LORD, and devoured them, and they died before the LORD.
So the two sons of Aaron died because they offered strange fire unto the Lord.
What is strange fire?
The Amplified Bible calls it strange and UNHOLY fire.
So, we kind of know that this fire is unholy.
I think it is very simple. They ministered by burning incense and making a fire.
An unholy person will simply offer an unholy fire.
An unholy minister cannot minister unto God in a Holy way.
To further clarify, I looked up the word “Strange” in the context of the verse above from the Strong’s Dictionary and this is what I saw:
A primitive root; to turn aside (especially for lodging); hence to be a foreigner, strange, profane; specifically to commit adultery: – (come from) another (man, place), strange (thing, woman).
Take note of the word “lodging,” “commit adultery.” and “strange woman”
Who are you “lodging” with as a single and yet ministering in the choir, ushering, etc?
Warning: No Strange Fires
I want to challenge you as a child of God, to make up your mind never to offer strange fire unto the Lord.
Sleeping around and yet holding the microphone to minister, sing or preach is offering strange fire unto the Lord.
While you might not have died physically because we are in a dispensation of grace, the reality is that some things may be dying around you.
Opportunities are dying.
Relationship with God is at risk.
Promotions, increase and destinies are dying.
God-ordained courtships are dying.
Eventually, physical death could follow as in the case of Ananias and Sapphira. Acts 5
Decide to do away with any strange fire as a child of God. Stop tempting the devil!
This is what KHC does! To warn!! And then to show you that God still loves you!
God doesn’t want you living a double life, pretending while practically on the way to hell.
He wants you to live well, live long, serve Him, and still make heaven!
Do it God’s way.
Do what God has commanded, not what your flesh is commanding.
Reach out and ask God to help you.
Make up your mind.
Disconnect with all unholy and ungodly alliances.
Stop all sexual sins.
Accept and know you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus and decide to walk in the Spirit so that you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
Let him be tall and handsome. Deep voice. Six-packs. Muscular. Gentle giant.
I want her to be beautiful. Hot legs. Head turner. Bust and behind. The hips and the lips. Slayer.
You write down a list. Great.
As a teenager, do you remember, when you think love, that’s all you wanted?
Fast forward many years after, priorities have changed.
Handsome and Beautiful, That Is All?
Married folk will tell you that some things will not be for life.
Some are great and work at it and they look great for a long time.
But genetics and nature are not really nice to everybody.
So, married people will tell you that the “tall” may be there for life, but the “tall” is no longer straight.
Somewhere along the journey, pot belly showed up. Stubborn and recalcitrant, it refused to go.
Shebi you saw the dad before? Why surprised?
Son will resemble father now?
The deep voice remained, unchanging, but then it came with deep snores. It’s a total package. Melody unto the Lord.
The six packs. Eventually and eventfully collapses into an amusement park. A bald head showed up. Cream would not work.
The gentle giant. The giant remained. Gentle left. Only God knows where.
Oh, the lady?
Ever beautiful. The legs is still somehow hot, but they got bigger. She loves “swallow,” hot swallow, and so the hot swallow swallowed the hot in the legs and left the big legs.
She doesn’t like wearing short skirts again.
Head no longer turn.
Handsome and Beautiful, That Is All?
Bust outline is no longer clear, tummy got bigger, thanks to five bubbling children!
The hips got bigger, and the lips which you think are solely for kissing, now have the capacity to shade somebody! She is no longer a slayer, nobody is ready to die.
I have said all of these to tell you that you should not be rigid with your “list” when it comes to marriage.
Some things will not be forever.
So many factors like genetics, personal discipline, eating habits and so many others determine what a person will look like.
After you hit forty, the body slows down in breaking down food. More fat settle.
God knows the best for you.
Never ever marry someone you loathe or hate, but never ever reject someone God is leading you to because of your strict idiosyncrasies.
God has a marital map for you.
Follow it.
Trash your unrealistic list and find out the heart of God.
Psa 81:13 (MSG) “Oh, dear people, will you listen to me now? Israel, will you follow my map?
You want to marry a rich person. Will the person be rich for life? Will you divorce if he gets broke?
There are rich people on their way to being broke! And yes, there are broke people on their way to being rich!
God’s GPS is superior to the one your brain invented.
Cooperate with His leading.
Short people can be nice. And they can be nasty.
Tall people can be brutal. And they can be gentle.
