Sarah, the wife of Abraham, had passed away. She had been his companion for many years through every journey, every promise, every joy, and heartache. And Abraham did what anyone would do after losing someone they love deeply: he wept. He didn’t avoid his grief. He sat in it, felt it, and honored her with his tears.
Genesis 23:2-3 – “And Sarah died in Kirjatharba; the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan: and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her. And Abraham stood up from before his dead, and spake unto the sons of Heth…”
But then, he stood up.
Not because the sorrow disappeared, or because he stopped loving her, but because life was still moving forward. There were things to be done, and a future that still held God’s promises.
And Abraham stood up from before his dead These words are a reminder that grief is real and necessary, but so is rising again. Many of us have sat too long beside the memories of what we’ve lost, whether it’s a person, a dream, or a part of ourselves.
Just like the bible says, there’s a time to mourn, and there’s also a time to rise.
Getting up doesn’t mean forgetting. It means choosing not to stay stuck. It means believing that God’s plan for your life isn’t over, even when it feels like something important is gone.
Maybe your “Sarah” was a relationship, a job, a chapter of life, a contract, or a version of yourself you miss. Whatever it is, know this: you can grieve, and you can also move forward.
Feeling unloved by your husband can be one of the most painful experiences in marriage. It shakes the foundation of trust, intimacy, and emotional security that a healthy relationship should provide. But even in this place of hurt, there is hope. God sees your pain, and His Word offers comfort, guidance, and strength to help you navigate this difficult season. Here are five truths to hold onto when feeling unloved by your husband.
1. God Loves You Unconditionally
When human love fails or feels insufficient, remember that God’s love never wavers. Jeremiah 31:3 says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” No matter how your husband treats you, God cherishes you deeply and sees your worth. His love is a safe refuge when earthly relationships fall short.
Focusing on God’s unwavering love helps you find validation and peace outside of your husband’s actions. It reminds you that your identity isn’t tied to how he behaves but to whose you are—God’s beloved child.
2. Pray for Your Husband’s Heart
It’s easy to grow bitter or resentful when you are feeling unloved by your husband, but prayer can soften hearts, including your husband’s. 1 Peter 3:1-2 encourages wives, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives…” Your prayers and godly example can create space for transformation.
Prayer shifts your focus from bitterness to intercession, inviting God to work in your husband’s heart. Trust that He hears your cries and is able to restore what is broken.
3. Guard Your Own Heart Against Bitterness
Feeling unloved by your husband can lead to resentment, anger, or despair, but nurturing these emotions will only harm you further. Hebrews 12:15 warns, “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Protect your heart by surrendering your pain to God and choosing forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn’t excuse harmful behavior, but it frees you from carrying the weight of bitterness. Letting go allows God to heal your wounds and guide you forward.
4. Seek Support and Accountability
You don’t have to face this struggle alone. Surround yourself with trusted friends, mentors, or counselors who can offer wisdom, encouragement, and accountability. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.” A supportive community can remind you of your value and help you process your feelings constructively.
Isolation amplifies pain, while connection fosters healing. Talking to others ensures you’re not navigating this season alone and provides clarity about next steps.
5. Trust God’s Plan for Your Marriage
Even in the darkest moments, God is still at work. If reconciliation is possible, He can bring restoration. If separation or divorce becomes necessary due to abuse or abandonment, He promises to be your provider and protector. Isaiah 54:5 declares, “For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is his name.”
Trusting God’s sovereignty gives you peace, knowing that He holds your future. Whether your marriage is restored or you walk a new path, He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6 ).
Marriage is a beautiful union of two unique individuals, each with their own personality, background, strengths, and weaknesses. While love often draws people together, it is acceptance that sustains the bond through the inevitable changes and challenges of life. Acceptance in marriage goes beyond tolerating differences; it means embracing your partner wholly, flaws, quirks, and all, and committing to grow together in understanding and unity.
1. Acceptance Builds a Foundation of Peace
When couples accept each other as they are, it creates a peaceful and secure environment. There is less pressure to perform or pretend, and both partners can truly be themselves. This emotional safety fosters open communication, reduces defensiveness, and enhances intimacy. It allows each person to be vulnerable, knowing they are loved even in their imperfections.
2. It Encourages Growth, Not Control
Many people enter marriage with the silent hope of changing their partner. However, true acceptance does not mean ignoring areas that need improvement—it means encouraging growth in a loving, patient way, rather than trying to control or criticize. Change becomes more natural and long-lasting when it is inspired by love rather than forced by pressure.
3. Strengthens Emotional Connection
Feeling accepted by your spouse affirms your worth and value. It strengthens the emotional connection and deepens the bond between you. When both partners feel respected and appreciated, trust grows, and conflicts are handled with more compassion and understanding.
4. Reduces Unnecessary Conflicts
Many marital conflicts stem from unmet expectations or frustrations over differences. Acceptance helps reduce these by shifting the mindset from “Why can’t you be more like me?” to “I value who you are, even when we’re different.” This reduces resentment and increases cooperation, making it easier to resolve disagreements.
5. Reflects Christ-like Love
For those who view marriage through the lens of faith, accepting one another reflects the love of Christ. The Bible says in Romans 15:7, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you.” This kind of love is sacrificial, unconditional, and full of grace. It’s not based on perfection, but on a decision to love faithfully.
6. It Promotes Longevity in the Relationship
Marriages thrive not because partners are perfect, but because they learn to accept and support one another through every season. Acceptance makes it easier to navigate the ups and downs, the changes in health, careers, or dreams, and to remain committed through life’s unpredictability.
In Conclusion
Acceptance in marriage is not passive; it is a deliberate act of love. It requires humility, grace, and a willingness to see your spouse through the lens of compassion. When couples embrace acceptance, they create a marriage that is not only enduring but also deeply fulfilling.
Being single can come with all kinds of emotions. Some days feel okay. I mean, you’re managing things well, staying productive, and maybe even enjoying the space to grow on your own. Other days may feel quiet, slow, or uncertain. Maybe you thought you’d be in a different place by now—career-wise, financially, emotionally, or in your relationships. Maybe you’re wondering when life will finally start making sense.
And when things feel delayed or unclear, joy can feel distant. Not because you’re ungrateful, but because your reality looks different from what you hoped for or expected.
That’s where this verse speaks clearly.
John 15:11 — “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”(NIV)
Jesus said these words to His disciples to remind them that joy wasn’t meant to come from their circumstances but from being connected to Him. He says His joy can be in you, and that it can be complete. Not halfway. Not temporary. But full.
This isn’t about forcing yourself to feel happy or pretending you don’t care about the things you still want. It’s about learning to stay close to God and letting Him be your source of peace and strength in the middle of it all.
The truth is, expectations can quietly steal your joy. You might not even realize it’s happening. You expected to be at that “Place”. You expected something to have happened by now. And when those things don’t happen, it can feel like you’re falling behind. But joy isn’t found in finally reaching the next goal. It’s found in knowing that God is present and involved in your life, even when you can’t see how everything will work out.
Your life isn’t on pause. This season matters. It’s not wasted time. God knows where you are, and He’s still leading you. You don’t have to wait until everything comes together before you allow yourself to experience joy. Jesus offers it now, and He offers it fully.
Janet: So… what are you wearing tonight for your date?
Liz: I’m thinking of that red dress Stephen got me last month. It should work.
Janet: Wait, Stephen? You’ve left him already? I thought you said he was the right person.
Liz:Correction. I didn’t leave him. We’re still in the talking stage.
Janet: Talking stage? Liz, it’s been six months. Are you guys stammering or what?
Liz: laughs. He’s sweet, but… he’s not really my type.
Janet:sighs. I honestly don’t get you sometimes. Stephen’s the fifth “serious” guy I’ve seen around you lately. And now you’re going on a date with someone new?
Liz: That’s why it’s called a date. To figure people out and get to know them.
Janet: Really? Because at this rate, it feels like you still haven’t figured out Jude, Taiwo, Peter, Osas… or Stephen. Honestly, I feel like I need a date with you to understand what’s going on.
Liz: Don’t be dramatic. Jude was too soft. Remember when that bike guy yelled at me? Jude apologized to him.
Janet: He told me you were rude to the guy.
Liz: Even if I was, he could’ve backed me up in the moment and addressed it later. You stand up for me publicly, then correct me privately. I need someone who’s got my back publicly.
Janet: Huh. So I guess Peter’s more your vibe then?
Liz:rolls eyes. peter? He tries too hard. Everything feels like a performance.
Janet: Isn’t that what he’s supposed to do- try?
Liz: Sure, but there’s trying… and then there’s being over-the-top. I want a guy who knows when to show up and when to chill.
Janet:[looking genuinely puzzled]
Liz: Aren’t you gonna ask about Osas and Taiwo?
Janet: Nope. I already know you ghosted them. I’m not even mad, just… I hope things work out with Stephen.
Liz:smiles softly. Thanks.
Janet: But let me say this, girl, you really need to figure out what you want for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll keep bouncing from guy to guy, looking for something that’s not lost in the name of looking for the right person.
Liz:groans playfully. There she goes again with the life coaching.
Janet: I’m just saying. Six guys and counting in under two years? At some point, you’ve gotta ask: maybe it’s not them. Maybe it’s… you.
Liz: I know what I want in a man.
Janet: Okay, but do you know what you want in yourself?
Liz: So… what’s the moral of this little intervention, Dr. Janet?
Janet:laughs. It’s not an intervention. Just girl talk with a sprinkle of truth.
Liz: More like a bucketful.
Janet: Look, dating’s not a crime. Neither is exploring your options. But at some point, you’ve got to stop collecting names and start collecting lessons.
Liz: Oof. That one hit.
Janet: I’m serious. The real glow-up is self-awareness.
Liz: So you’re saying I should take myself on a date first?
Janet: Exactly. Figure out what you want from you; peace, growth, stability, and the right person won’t feel like a puzzle piece you’re forcing to fit.
Liz: So basically, know yourself, show up honestly, and don’t stop growing?
Janet: Now that’s the real red dress energy.
Liz:laughs. Okay, okay. Fine. Maybe I’ll start with dinner… with myself.
