In a world where the lines between love and lust are often blurred, navigating relationships can be a daunting task. As followers of Christ, we’re called to love others selflessly, just as He loves us. However, the pull of our sinful nature can lead us down a path where lust overshadows genuine affection. So, how do we love without lusting?
First, we must understand the difference between love and lust. Love is about giving, sacrificing, and valuing another person’s well-being. Lust, on the other hand, is driven by self-gratification and often objectifies others. When we focus on loving others with a selfless heart, we begin to see them through God’s eyes.
To cultivate this kind of love, we need to develop a deep understanding of God’s Word. The Bible teaches us that love is patient, kind, and not self-seeking (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). As we immerse ourselves in Scripture, we’ll learn to recognize the subtle differences between love and lust.
Another crucial step is to prioritize spiritual intimacy over physical intimacy. When we prioritize getting to know someone on a spiritual level, we build a foundation for a healthy relationship. This means engaging in meaningful conversations, praying together, and supporting each other’s walk with God.
It’s also essential to be aware of our own vulnerabilities and boundaries. Recognizing the triggers that can lead us to lustful thoughts or behaviors allows us to take steps to avoid them. Surrounding ourselves with a community of believers who can offer accountability and support is also vital.
Ultimately, loving without lusting requires a daily surrender to God’s will. As we yield to His guidance and wisdom, He empowers us to love others with a pure heart. This doesn’t mean we’ll never struggle, but it does mean we’ll have the strength to overcome those struggles.
In conclusion, loving without lusting is a journey that requires effort, self-awareness, and a deep commitment to following God. By prioritizing spiritual intimacy, developing a strong understanding of God’s Word, and surrounding ourselves with supportive community, we can cultivate relationships that honor God.
May we strive to love others with the same selfless love that Christ has shown us.
Disagreements are not proof that something is wrong with your relationship.
They are proof that two different people have chosen to do life together — and that’s bound to get “messy” sometimes.
Singles, have you heard that myth that “real love means we never fight”? Don’t fall for it!
Conflict isn’t the enemy. Disrespect is. Watch how the person reacts when you disagree. Do they listen? Do they shut down? Do they insult or withdraw?
Because how they handle small disagreements is a preview of how they’ll handle bigger ones in marriage.
Married couples, stop expecting your spouse to read your mind.
Your silence isn’t helping. Your sarcasm isn’t solving anything either.
If there’s a disagreement, speak! Speak clearly. Speak kindly. Speak early — before frustration builds.
And when they talk, don’t listen just to defend your point. Listen to understand.
When next you find conflict in love, here are a few practical things to try:
1. Use “I feel” statements instead of accusations. (“I feel hurt when…” is better than “You never…”)
2. Avoid yelling or storming out — take a break if needed, but promise to return to the conversation.
3. Pray before confronting, not after exploding.
4. And please, don’t bring in friends or family to take sides. Protect your relationship from unnecessary eyes.
“Let every word you speak be drenched with grace and tempered with truth and clarity. For then you will be prepared to give a respectful answer to anyone who asks about your faith.”Colossians 4:6[TPT]
Conflict, handled with grace, deepens connection. It forces growth. It teaches patience. It invites humility.
So no, conflict isn’t a sign of failure. It’s an opportunity to love better — if you let it. So let it.
In this fast-paced world, it’s easy to get fixated on WHERE one is going. You set goals, chase dreams, and often measure success by how close you are to that “next big thing.”
It could be a career move, a relationship, or a breakthrough you’ve prayed for. But in God’s Kingdom, there’s something more important than just arriving at a place – that’s the person you’re becoming on the way there. Your destination is the place you’re headed, your vision, goals, and future plans. But your destiny is far deeper. It’s God’s intentional design for your life. It’s the purpose written in His heart long before you ever took your first step.
God isn’t scrambling to figure out your life. He has already crafted it with care. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.”
So even when things don’t go as planned, your destiny isn’t shaken. Life may bring unexpected turns, detours, delays, and even disappointments, but those are not derailments. They are tools in God’s hands to mold your character and deepen your faith.
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. – Proverbs 19:21
Destiny is about becoming someone whole in Christ. God is more interested in WHO you are becoming than just WHERE you are going.
Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Be intentional with your walk in purpose. Embrace the process, trust God even when the road seems long, because your destination is ahead, but your destiny is unfolding daily, and it’s beautiful.
“So, when’s your flight?” I asked, already grinning as I imagined us finally catching up.
“Thursday evening,” Ada replied. “I couldn’t find a direct flight, so I’ll be stopping over in Dubai. I should get to Lagos by Saturday morning!”
Her excitement bounced right back at me through the phone. Ada and I go way back. She’s one of my closest friends. We’ve shared everything from hostel rooms to heartbreaks. I even stood by her side as her bridesmaid when she married her longtime love earlier this year. She had to leave for a work opportunity abroad soon after, and it’s been months since we’ve seen each other.
“Ah, someone is finally coming home to her oga at the top!” I teased.
“Abeg leave me jor!” she laughed. “You know I’ve been counting the days!”
We laughed like old times.
“So, how long are you stuck in Dubai?” I asked, curious.
“Ten hours,” she sighed. “I’m dreading it already.”
“Ten whole hours? That’s not beans, oh!” I exclaimed. “I hope you’ve figured out how to keep busy. Otherwise, that kind of wait can drag forever.”
“Oh, I have plans,” she said quickly. “I’ve got an online seminar scheduled during part of the layover, a couple of books to read, and I’ll probably catch up with you and Emeka while I’m there.”
“Perfect! That’s how to do it,” I said. “At least the time won’t just slip away in boredom.”
That chat with Ada stayed on my mind. It got me thinking about how so many singles are “waiting” in life, but in the wrong way.
Some hit pause on everything once they decide they want to get married. They put their dreams, growth, and even their joy on hold, like life will finally start after saying “I do.” That’s what passive waiting looks like – sitting still, hoping and praying for “someday,” but not doing much else in the meantime.
But that’s not how it should be. The waiting season is meant to be active. It’s a time to be fully alive, intentional, and fruitful. It’s the season to stretch, grow, and bloom right where you are.
During your waiting season, you:
Strengthen your walk with God by going deep in your relationship with Him.
Build emotional and spiritual maturity by growing your character and discernment.
Develop your skills by investing in talents and income-generating abilities.
Nurture meaningful connections by finding mentors, friends, and growing your community.
Step into purpose. You don’t wait for marriage to start walking in your calling.
Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. Acts 20:32 (NIV)
Notice the sequence: God’s word builds you up first, then comes the inheritance. Too many people want the reward without the work. But God is more interested in who you’re becoming than how quickly you arrive at the next destination.
Relationships thrive on time and connection, and your relationship with God is no different. The more time you spend with Him, the more you grow to trust and understand His ways.
The waiting season doesn’t have to be lonely or dull. It can be rich, full, and overflowing with purpose if you choose to engage it.
Let God take you places emotionally, spiritually, and mentally that you’ve never been before. This chapter of your life isn’t a filler, it’s a foundation. Build it well. And if you are already married, keep building.
Has God Forgotten Me? Finding Hope in His Unchanging Love
When life feels overwhelming, lonely, or stagnant, it’s easy to wonder, “Has God forgotten me?” In moments of doubt, pain, or unanswered prayers, you may feel invisible or abandoned. But the truth is, God has not forgotten you—not now, not ever. His love and faithfulness are unwavering, even when circumstances make it hard to see His hand at work. Here are five biblical truths to remind you that God has not forgotten you.
1. God Knows You Personally
God sees you, knows your name, and understands every detail of your life—even the things you feel are too small or insignificant to mention. Psalm 139:1-4 declares, “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me… You perceive my thoughts from afar.” He is intimately aware of your struggles, joys, and deepest desires.
Why it matters: Feeling forgotten often stems from feeling unseen. Rest assured that God knows everything about you and cares deeply for your well-being.
2. God Remembers His Promises
God’s promises are unchanging, and He always fulfills what He has spoken. Isaiah 49:15-16 says, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” His commitment to you is etched into eternity.
Why it matters: Even when answers seem delayed, God’s timing is perfect. Trust that He remembers His promises and is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28 ).
3. God Is Always Near
God’s presence is constant, even when it feels distant. Deuteronomy 31:6 reassures us, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” You are never alone, no matter how isolated you may feel.
Why it matters: Loneliness can distort our perception of God’s nearness. Remembering His omnipresence brings comfort and peace during difficult seasons.
4. God Uses Trials to Strengthen Your Faith
Sometimes, God allows challenges to refine your faith and draw you closer to Him. James 1:2-4 encourages us, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” These moments are not signs of abandonment but opportunities for growth.
Why it matters: Painful experiences don’t mean God has forgotten you—they mean He trusts you enough to shape you through adversity. Lean into Him during these times.
5. God Has a Purpose for Your Life
Even when life seems stagnant or directionless, God is actively working behind the scenes to fulfill His purpose for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, “For I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” His plans are greater than anything we can imagine.
Why it matters: Feeling forgotten often comes from uncertainty about the future. Trust that God’s plans are unfolding, even if they aren’t visible yet.
A Prayer When You Feel Forgotten
Heavenly Father, thank You for reminding me that You have not forgotten me. Help me to trust in Your unfailing love and remember that You see me, know me, and care for me. Strengthen my faith during this season of waiting and uncertainty. Reassure my heart of Your presence and Your perfect plan for my life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
