I want to write to those who are experiencing any form of delay regarding settling down.
Ex 32:1 And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.
Have you been here before? All your mates are married and it seems your spouse is delaying. Hasn’t he received you yet? What is she still doing on the mountain?
I heard a story sometime back when a guy was given a resounding slap after proposing to a lady. The lady was said to have wondered what took him so long.
In the passage above, the Israelites were frustrated that Moses delayed, so they sought other options. You too might be frustrated that your biological clock is ticking and no one is in view. My admonition to you is that you should not settle for other options. Don’t settle for a married fellow, a pervert, or an abusive person just in a bid to change your status.
In the New Testament, some people also experienced delays as the bridegroom decided to take his time.
Matt 25:5 KJV While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
Some people have actually given up on the possibility of getting married to their God-ordained spouse. Some people have slumbered and slept off in the process of waiting.
In some cases, the delay is caused by the people involved. In other cases, the delay is from the bridegroom. Whichever case you fall into, there is something you can do rather than resign to fate.
Matt 9:15 KJV And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber mourn, as long as the bridegroom is with them? but the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then shall they fast.
Yes, fast and pray. When it looks like you’ve done all you know how to do, yet your spouse is not forthcoming, you go into fasting. Why fast?
God will not just create your spouse the moment you begin fasting. Fasting will not change God either. It will humble your soul. It will discipline your flesh. If you are sincere with it, God begins to show you areas you need to work on. God begins to open your eyes. Your spirit man comes alive. You get downloads straight from above. You suddenly realize your partner has been hanging around ever since.
So what are some of the things I think you should know before you march down that altar to say ‘I DO’?
1. Marriage is a Covenant
“Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the COVENANT MADE AT YOUR MARRIAGE] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the WIFE OF YOUR COVENANT [made by your marriage vows].” Malachi 2:14 AMPC
Did you see that?
Marriage is not just something that is carnal or merely physical… marriage is deeply spiritual and a serious business, with serious implications.
So the first thing you must understand about marriage is that marriage is a covenant!
Having this understanding will give you some ‘sense’ so that you don’t just handle your marriage matter, ranging from the choice of a marriage partner to the marriage itself, with a light hand.
You understand that you’re entering into a covenant with anyone you marry, so you can’t afford to just marry any Tom, Jerry, or Jeff that comes your way! Or any Cinderella, Queenette, or Jessica that comes along your path! You choose wisely, by the Spirit.
Why?
Because you know you’re entering a covenant!
Having this understanding will even help prepare your heart way ahead of your marriage to remain faithful (in thought, word, and action) to your partner. So you start knowing that infidelity is not an option… like your heart gets locked on the matter way before you start your marriage.
Listen. You don’t prepare for battle in the midst of battle! What majorly keeps us in the face of battle are the preparations we made before that battle!
So pondering on these things right now, before you ‘I DO’, will help give you the right posture to have a successful marriage when YOU DO.
Can you talk to yourself now? Say:
“Ogbonnaya (of course you put your name there), marriage is a covenant! You have to be deliberate about it.”
Everyone is looking for where the grass is greener. And subtly, somewhere in our minds, we keep our eyes on other people’s lands. But remember the 10th commandment?
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.” Exodus 20:17 [KJV]
It’s easy to look at other relationships and think they have it better. Whether single or married, the temptation to keep looking at other people’s lives, believing that something “better” is out there, can creep in. But the truth actually is:
The grass isn’t greener on the other side; it’s greener where you water it.
For singles, social media can make it seem like everyone else is in a perfect relationship, while you wait. And you may start thinking, “Am I a spoon?” But don’t let comparison push you into desperation. Rushing into the wrong relationship because you feel left out can lead to heartbreak. Instead of searching desperately for the “greener grass” of a change of relationship status, focus on making yourself greener—growing yourself emotionally, spiritually, and mentally—so that when the right person comes, you’re ready.
For married couples, it’s easy to become dissatisfied when you start noticing flaws in your spouse. The excitement of the early days fades, and you might be tempted to think, “Maybe I married the wrong person.” Or worse still, you look at another marriage and begin to fall in love with another person’s spouse. But remember, we don’t fall in love like that, rather we fall in alignment with the angel of our destiny. (Laughs)
Every great marriage you admire was built—not found. Instead of looking outside, invest in what you already have. Communicate, forgive, appreciate, and keep nurturing your love.
Dear couples, let me even add another thought for you to ponder: the grass always looks greener on the other side until you come close. That person you’re now lusting after, whether subtly or overtly, has flaws too—maybe even greater than those of your spouse. The difference is that you’re close to your spouse but far from the person—so you see all your spouse’s flaws and not one of the other person’s. It’s easy to admire a person from afar, but when you come close, you find that there are flaws.
Listen, don’t destroy your marriage thinking the grass is greener elsewhere. Fight that distraction destroying your marriage. Stop looking at another man or woman. Focus on your spouse. Stop comparing. Focus on your marriage. Make it work.
Finally, dear singles and married, the devil thrives on making us believe that joy is always somewhere else. But true fulfillment comes from gratitude, contentment, and commitment. So, be grateful and content with where you are and what you have. And learn to water the grass in front of you—that’s where the greener grass is.
There are different stages of life that man may experience a wait. This wait could be for a job, a spouse, the fruit of the womb, a breakthrough, relocation, or an answered prayer.
The in-between season is never easy, it can be frustrating and uncertain. But in God’s kingdom, waiting is never wasted.
One thing you have to understand first is that your journey is different. Do not let comparisons or complaints enter your conversation with God or man.
The likes of Abraham, Joseph, Hannah, Moses, David, etc… experienced waiting seasons, so yours isn’t the first.
Meanwhile, the waiting season is not just about patience, it’s about preparation, transformation, and deep trust in God.
Below are four ways to maximize your waiting season:
1. Seek God Intentionally
The waiting season is the perfect time to draw closer to God. This season is to deepen your prayer life and meditate on His Word. The Bible says in Lamentations 3:25, The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.” Instead of complaining, cultivate a heart that seeks God daily.
2. Develop Yourself
While you wait, invest in personal growth. Learn new skills, read, and become the best version of yourself. Isaiah 40:31a says “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength…” This means waiting is not passive. It’s a time of renewal and preparation.
3. Serve Faithfully
Your waiting season can be a time of impact and blessing. So, engage in service to God and others. When Joseph was in prison, he didn’t waste his time, he served and interpreted dreams. This ultimately led to his elevation in Genesis 41:14.
4. Hold onto Faith
Waiting often comes with doubts, but remind yourself that God’s timing is perfect. Habakkuk 2:3 says, “Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come.” Have a strong belief that God is aligning things in His divine way.
Waiting season isn’t punishment, it’s preparation. So, embrace the process, trust God’s timing, and use this season wisely.
Affirm with me: Every waiting is working for my good! (Romans 8:28).
Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it also brings its own unique set of experiences and lessons that singles might not fully comprehend until they embark on their own path. While being single provides freedom and opportunities for personal growth, married life introduces new dimensions of love, sacrifice, and collaboration. Here are five things couples may be aware of that singles might not yet fully grasp:
1. The Beauty (and Challenge) of Compromise In marriage, two people become one, which means learning to give and take on everything from chores to where to go on vacation. Singles can make decisions all by themselves, but in a relationship, both partners have to think about each other’s needs and wants. This can be tough sometimes, but it also makes you and your partner closer and more united. Through compromise, couples grow together and learn how to put their goals first over their own wants.
2. The Depth of Emotional Intimacy
Singles can have deep friendships or romantic connections, but there’s something special about the emotional bond between spouses. Marriage takes a lot of vulnerability, trust, and being open with each other. Over time, this intimacy grows as couples share happy times, tough times, and even the little things that happen every day. It’s a level of closeness that really makes your heart and soul feel strong, because you both promise to love and support each other.
3. The Power of Grace and Forgiveness
Even if you’re head over heels in love with your partner, disagreements are bound to happen. What makes marriages truly special is the ability to show grace and forgiveness over and over again. Singles might find it easier to let go of grudges because their relationships aren’t as deeply connected. But in marriage, patience and mercy become superpowers that keep the peace and harmony flowing. As the Bible says in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and forgiving to each other, just as Christ forgave you.””
4. The Selfless Act of Marriage Marriage is a beautiful journey that teaches couples to prioritize each other. Whether it’s staying up late to comfort a loved one or giving up a hobby to spend quality time together, selflessness becomes a natural part of their lives. For singles, life is all about personal goals, but marriage shifts the focus toward serving and supporting another person. This act of surrender is a powerful reminder of Christ’s example of sacrificial love.
5. The Joy of Building a Legacy Together Marriage is a beautiful journey of creating a legacy together. It’s not just about building a family, a home, and a community, but about creating something meaningful that stands the test of time. From raising our little ones to serving others, we find immense joy in co-creating God’s plan for our lives. And let’s not forget the dreamers out there! While they may dream of this future, married couples live it every day, knowing they’re part of something extraordinary.
Singleness has its perks, but marriage is like a treasure trove of experiences that mold your character, strengthen your faith, and show you how God meant for us to connect. Both life stages have their ups and downs, but marriage shows you the true meaning of love, the sacrifices we make, and the beauty of unity that only those who’ve been on this journey can truly appreciate.
