We are used to instant victory. Indomie noddles kind of thing.
Even in natural things, nothing just happens. There are no instant millionaires.
In a weight loss programme, it’s easier to gain weight than it is to lose it.
You gain more calories by eating cakes, pastries, and ice cream. You will have to work out for hours and days to lose what you have gained.
My point is, you cannot have an instant weight loss or anything for that matter.
In the same way, we cannot expect instant victory over where we have been defeated before. It takes time and effort.
The Power of Incremental Progress
Some of us have been used to a certain way of thinking and doing things (in a negative way).
We have learned certain bad habits that are not making our marriage work out.
We shout, lie, are selfish and self-centered, we are bossy, we nag, we are lazy, we are insincere, we are not trustworthy, we unnecessarily keep quiet and withdraw, and the list goes on.
It took you years to get to that point and then you are expecting an instant change.
Deu 7:22 And the Lord your God will clear out those nations before you, little by little; you may not consume them quickly, lest the beasts of the field increase among you.
Deu 7:23 But the Lord your God will give them over to you and will confuse them with a mighty panic until they are destroyed.
The Power of Incremental Progress
This is God talking to us. He says your victory will come ‘little by little’.
I feel this little-by-little victory causes us to be sober and keeps us coming to God holding on to Him and looking up to Him for His Mercy.
I believe ‘ the beast of the field’ among us is PRIDE.
Where we feel, ‘ Yes, I can press the button, and …the victory comes.
Remember it took Jesus, dying on the cross to give us this victory. It was a great price.
So don’t get discouraged on your journey to making your marriage beautiful.
Pro 23:18 For surely there is a latter end [a future and a reward], and your hope and expectation shall not be cut off.
God has promised you victory. He has promised that your expectations will not be cut off.
That marriage will be blissful.
That husband will love you.
That wife will be supportive and submissive.
Those children will be obedient and together as a family you will enjoy prosperity. You will move forward. You will increase.
That contract will come through.
God bless your marriage.
Rev. Sophia Okunowo
Giving & Partnership with Ministry Kisses and Huggs Club MONIEPOINT: 8247660079 GTB:0150088032
1. Marriage is so demanding, that God has to understand.
God wants you to put him first place in your life. Every other thing can come later. Our God is a jealous God. No matter how demanding marriage is, God wants you to give him what’s his.
Your family shouldn’t take the place of God. Likewise your business or career. Your waking moment as a family should be given back to God. Create time out of no time to give back to God.
Four Critical Beliefs to Ditch
2. I can flirt a little since I am not sure what my spouse is doing as well.
This is nothing but a deception from hell. Never allow evil to manipulate your thought pattern. If you give the devil an inch, he will take a mile from you. Stay away from all forms of compromise. Focus on your spouse. Don’t give the devil an avenue to strike your family. Marriage is a covenant, so don’t joke with it.
You don’t say things like I will ‘show’ you. You are actually ‘showing’ yourself because you are one in marriage. Yes, disagreement will come but you need to resolve it quickly and immediately, so as not to give room for funny thoughts. If you and your spouse are not on talking terms, you need to deal with the hurt first and then ask for God’s help. Seek counsel from someone you both submit to.
Four Critical Beliefs to Ditch
4. I make money available, what else do they want?
Money is good. It is important in marriage but it should not be placed above your family. Your wife wants time and attention. Your children need their father. Yes, you need to provide for your family, but not at their expense. You can plan a vacation, a retreat etc. Just make sure you are there for your family.
I pray for you this morning, every situation in your home is corrected by the mercies of God right now. The shalom of God envelopes your marriage. The joy you once had about your spouse is restored right now in the name of Jesus.
Certainly––but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. (1 Corinthians 7:2 Message)
As married couples, make sure you satisfy each other sexually. You will chase adultery away like that. But, Pastor my husband has a higher libido and wants it all the time! Receive grace to satisfy him, okay?
With understanding and love, you will be able to strike a balance but make sure he is not frustrated to the point of considering exploring and looking for it outside.
You have married because you are to help each other. Don’t deny one another in the bedroom.
Depths of Sexual Connection in Marriage 2
5. Comfort
Ask every married man; sexual intimacy can be so comforting with one’s spouse when he or she is down. In hard times, in difficult moments, when he or she is at the lowest ebb, sexual intimacy can be so comforting.
There are times when sexual intimacy is wanted and there are times when it is needed. Be sensitive. It is wanted when either spouse asks for it, it is needed when your spouse is down and you decide to comfort your spouse.
Outside of marriage, it brings confusion, disorder, selfishness, and outright disobedience to God’s way of doing things. Now you don’t want to be in a place where you will not have God’s support, and favor.
The question is would you rather go for confusion rather than comfort?
God wanted you to have pleasure! Conception and reproduction could have taken place in a million ways. Some cellular division could have taken place and there would be kids staring at you. But God wanted pleasure!
God does not want intimacy without marriage commitment. God does not want you sleeping with everybody you set your eyes on. God in His divine wisdom knows what He is doing.
So why did God create Intimacy between a husband and wife?
1. Procreation
The first obvious reason why God created sexual intimacy is because of reproduction. The deposit of seed by the man, the fertilization process in women, the trimesters’ experiences, and the completion of the gestation period, are all processes that God designed to help us value human life.
If it had taken us less than two hours to get pregnant and then give birth, probably we would have been killing our kids once they offend or get stubborn or they didn’t come out cute since we could have another one in the next two hours!
The Depths of Sexual Connection in Marriage
2. Closeness
And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord. (Genesis 4:1 KJV)
This knowing is nothing more than sexual intimacy. When a couple who is married, a man and a woman, (not a man and a man, or a woman with another woman,) come together in sexual intimacy it is the highest possible way they can physically know themselves.
It brings a bond that cements the couple together. It is an expression of love for each other, stronger than a thousand words.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love (Proverbs 5:18-19 KJV).
God wants you to have pleasure! When you look at your wife and you are turned on in marriage, it is very holy! God didn’t make mistakes when He said let her breasts satisfy you at all times!
The problem begins when you start to derive satisfaction from the breast of another man’s wife or somebody you are not married to!
When the scripture says be thou ravished with her love, literal Hebrew says be thou intoxicated and enraptured with her love!
When all you are thinking the whole day, is about your wife and the sexual intimacy you will have with her later in the night, it is okay and holy! You need to understand that sex in itself is holy! It is when man decides to get selfish and disobedient that it becomes unholy.
There is one truth I want to drive in this morning! Whether single or married, this truth will be helpful for you!
The devil’s attempt is always to limit us by what we see. But the scripture is clear on what we are to do regarding that! See it below:
2Co 4:17-18 (KJV) For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; [18] While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
This One Too Shall Pass
First of all, it says our affliction is light! It is not heavy enough to kill us. God is not a taskmaster and He would not allow us to be tempted beyond our strength!
He allows tests and trials, not to kill us but to work for us eventually.
But then there is an instruction in the above verse. Do not look at those things that are disturbing you. Please don’t focus on them. There is no need for your BP to rise!
Don’t give mental consideration and acceptance to the issues you are facing. Why?
They are temporal! Glory to God. They are not eternal. They do not have a forever status! They are transient and they shall pass. That is why I like the phrase “And it came to pass”
This One Too Shall Pass
Whatever it is, my dear, that one shall pass too
Those issues that were like life and death issues some five or ten years ago, where are they now? They passed. This one too will pass!
Who then do you focus on? Focus on God and His Word. Judge Him faithful. Meditate on His goodness always and you will experience that goodness in your relationship or marriage. Good morning!
