There is nothing as frustrating as losing one’s way or ending in a place that leads nowhere. Yet, life is often punctuated with dark tunnels, seemingly long unending roads meandering nowhere and often ending in the most absurd places.
And this happens a lot in our love life! Happily ever after is not always lived happily! We often fall so much in love that we lose the sense of all reason and become oblivious to apparent lapses.
We even often turn a deaf ear to all warning voices, choosing to ignore and disregard them, only for those voices to reverberate loudly on the marital road.
Well, the reality is that God doesn’t want you lost, confused, disconcerted, and perpetually living at a loss of what to do, where to go, and who to settle down with.
Avoiding Blind Alleys and Wrong Turns
In the twelfth verse of the fourth chapter of the book of Proverbs, as seen in The Message Translation, we see it aptly documented!
I don’t want you ending up in blind alleys, or wasting time making wrong turns.
The question here this morning is “Will you allow Him”
“Will you cooperate with divinity so that your humanity can align with God who doesn’t want you meandering in blind alleys or stuck in wrong turns?
Blind alleys will cause marital injuries, because not only are you blind and can’t see your loved one, you can’t even see yourself!
Wrong turns will waste your precious time, falling in love with the one that is not in love with you.
Wrong turns will sap your energy, cause weariness of the soul and make life uninteresting!
Avoiding Blind Alleys and Wrong Turns
No wonder, the lover of your soul says He doesn’t want you ending up in such places!
That is never His plan for you!
I challenge you this morning to cooperate with Him and let Him lead you!
Remember you are the sheep of His pasture and He is the shepherd of your soul!
This is one dangerous symptom you should not ignore as singles in courtship and that you should seek help over as married couples.
Believe them when they show you who they are during courtship. They’re only giving you a taste of what will be a daily and regular dose after the wedding.
Being in love should not be accompanied by blindness and senselessness.
I am a firm believer that wisdom is an ally of true love.
If you ignore a bad attitude in your affianced, guess what happens? You’re keeping that lifestyle for yourself after the wedding.
“But you know I have always been like this!” will always be the retort.
In other words, such a person is resistant to change!
If he or she cheats on you and you hesitate to confront him or her because you really wanted to get married, you have empowered him or her to cheat on you after your wedding or perhaps for the rest of your life.
When Your Lover Constantly Tells Lies
You are well aware that your partner lies on a frequent basis. You’ve fallen for an unrepentant habitual and chronic liar. It’s a perilous place to be. Why? All sexual offenses are founded on the ability to tell lies!
A liar will continue to deceive you indefinitely. His or her ability to tell lies emboldens him or her.
Even when nothing is at stake, this lover enjoys fabricating lies and making up stories.
You should reconsider this type of connection.
You will need to look for counsel.
It doesn’t matter whether you had a hundred visions about this individual or heard an audible voice; if his or her character contradicts the scriptures, you must pause!
If the scenario continues the same after guidance and intervention, you should consider ending the relationship to save yourself a lifetime of anguish and affliction.
When someone gives a convoluted answer to a simple question, you know he’s lying.
When someone avoids A Yes and No and prefers to explain when it is unnecessary, you know he is lying.
When someone delivers an oblique answer to a direct inquiry, you know he’s lying.
When he erupts every time he is confronted with a simple issue, you know he’s lying.
I could go on, but you already know.
When Your Lover Constantly Tells Lies
What if you are already married? Seek help! Pray! Give your partner a conducive atmosphere to express themselves because they could be lying out of fear! The place of honesty in marriage, of being naked and not ashamed cannot be over emphasized.
A lair cannot remain hidden indefinitely.
Telling lies on a regular basis is like dancing on the devil’s turf.
Joh 8:44b When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
But don’t forget this, if you are in such a scenario, seek help fast. Go talk to your pastor!
Are you in love with someone who doesn’t listen to anyone?
Do you have a spouse who has no authority figure over them?
Let’s start with singles.
Nothing is more marriage suicide than that.
Pastor, why would you say that?
The reasons should be self-evident.
Life is lived with the wisdom that God has bestowed upon us, not in aloofness or aloneness.
You will always come to periods in your life when you will require the wisdom of those above you, authoritative figures, and those who have gone before you.
Proverbs, chapter twenty, verse eighteen, says, Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.
Progress in life is based on this principle of getting wisdom from those ahead of you.
The Message Translation of same verse says Form your purpose by asking for counsel, then carry it out using all the help you can get.
Dealing With A Defiant Lover
It is thus bad to fall in love and share a boat with someone who disregards knowledge and listens to no one.
When this happens in a marriage, the other spouse has only one option: pray.
However, as a single person who is not yet married, you have the option of rejecting an evil disguised as love.
Never offer your heart to a man whose heart is inaccessible to everyone.
Never give your heart to a man or woman about whom you cannot speak to anyone.
There is no Pastor.
There is no mentor.
There are no parents. They are alive, but they appear to be dead since their child does not listen to them.
There is no authoritative figure.
He or she is in his or her own universe.
Only consults with friends who are worse than him.
Don’t just walk away from such folks; instead, run for your life.
Dealing With A Defiant Lover
This love thing has a tendency to make people foolish. And it shouldn’t. Take care.
You lose all sense of logic, and this tsunami of feelings completely overwhelms you.
In the midst of all of this, determine whether your lover respects authority figures.
If he doesn’t, you haven’t met anyone yet.
If you are ready married, and this is the situation, you really want to talk to your spouse, seek help urgently and find at least someone they will listen to. With a lot of prayers, hopefully, things will change
A young guy and lady once sat before me in my office. The lady was concerned because, in three years of relationship with a view to marriage, the guy has never given her anything, not a gift, not a dime!
Upon inquiry, the lady has given several gifts, including but not limited to shirts, boxers, trousers, wristwatches, chocolates, and many others.
The guy has given nothing.
“Why haven’t you given anything over the years? I asked him.
“Nothing, nothing really,” was the wry answer he gave.
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I told him right away, “Something is wrong somewhere.” You kept receiving all kinds of items, like she was an NGO or what, without giving anything in reciprocity?
We all know the truism, Love gives! We also know that a love professed that is not backed up with giving, sometimes sacrificial giving, is no love at all.
However, the “give” in love has been twisted and what we have today is nothing short of abuse.
Give and Take, The New Love?
There is workplace harassment where you are denied promotion and other benefits unless you “give” sex! Career opportunities only become a reality when a sexual act is performed.
Young ladies and sometimes guys are faced with this! You know what, as a child of God, never cooperate with such affliction! You will lose both your joy and the job eventually once you create a loophole for the devil through disobedience to God.
There is the Sugar Daddy phenomenon which is a form of transactional relationship where an older, wealthier individual (sugar daddy or sugar mommy) provides financial support or gifts to a younger partner in exchange for companionship. The younger is giving sex and the older is giving money!
This is not a giving love but a violation of love itself and as a child of God, you are to run for your seat life in such circumstances!
And then we even have married couples coercion where the wife would not give sex because the husband has not provided a certain amount of money! This is nothing but an abuse of the marital covenant, it is a subtle manipulation that will lead nowhere!
I can go on and on.
The marriage covenant doesn’t allow such “giving” or “exchange” of love! It is unconditional love!
May God grant more understanding in Jesus’ name!
Meditation: Galatians 5:19 (MSG) It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness;
Tales of woes and regrets litter the entire milieu of social media concerning failed marriages and damaged love affairs.
The media space, particularly the Nollywood, Hollywood, Bollywood, and all other woods constantly weave their plots to suggest nothing good can come out of marriage.
The marriage institution as ordained by God has been inundated with absurd insinuations. It has been twisted and warped, mulled and mutilated, and strange practices are being brandished daily and with temerity before all and sundry.
Why does it look as though it is failing? Why are there so many cheats? Why is it hard to believe that there are still people who will not cheat on their spouses? Why would ladies subject themselves to an affliction and go into marriage believing and expecting to be cheated upon and seeing it as usual?
Why would some older women teach younger ones that their husbands would cheat and that they should cope with it? Are their experiences valid enough to become a standard to hand over to younger ones?
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Marriage Mavericks: Thriving Above All
What is the panacea?
How did those ahead of us get good reports concerning their marriages? What were their secrets?
The writer of Hebrews took us to verse two of chapter Eleven and gave us the blueprint. He literarily handed over to us what would make marriage and indeed life work out.
For by it (Faith) the elders obtained a good report.
The excellent report, the good testimony, the successful relationship that led to the wedding, and the great marriage that became enviable became a reality through faith!
The Message Translation is instructive. It says;
The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.
Marriage Mavericks: Thriving Above All
Do you want to be above the mad, disoriented, and confused crowd? Then get into the act of faith.
This can only be done by a deliberate and conscious effort of fellowship with God and His word, deciding to obey all that is written there. It is simple, right? It is however potent and powerful.
Become a word stickler and you will find yourself in faith!
When all your “toasting” prowess fails and all your love dexterity disappoints, His word will uphold, give you victory and raise a great family for you!
