Three Must-Have Commitments In Marriage. When the fateful day arrived and you encountered that special person who made your heart sing, the sensation of fluttering butterflies in your stomach was undeniable. The thrill was almost tangible, with euphoric moments that intermingled in a delightful whirlwind.
However, after a few months, those once-vivacious butterflies had withered away, their once-vibrant wings broken and incapable of soaring. The colors that once illuminated your life faded, leaving a monotone existence. The cute smiles and tender laughter that previously sent shivers down your spine had now given way to frowns and curt, impolite body language and responses.
Poems were a thing of the past, and inspiration had simply vanished into thin air. Flowers were no longer gifted, and chocolates had been banned. Even ice cream had become a health hazard, and there was no time for cinematic or romantic excursions. Candlelit dinners had been replaced by the harsh glare of a light bulb. Simple gestures, like opening car doors and exchanging affectionate kisses, were things of the past.
Her once-charming dimples had melted away, and her smiles had lost their luster.
Couples who were once smitten with each other were now worlds apart, with a single phone call per week considered a luxury. What caused this change? Network disruptions and unpaid salaries had contributed, but the real issue was a lack of commitment.
Every couple should have commitments to one another that are verbalized, documented, and reiterated on a regular basis. These commitments must be deliberate and consciously made.
Three Must-Have Commitments In Marriage
What are some of these commitments? According to Ephesians 4:2 in the Amplified Bible, couples should “live as becomes you with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another.”
Here are a few examples of these commitments:
Three Must-Have Commitments In Marriage
“I will always love you, dear.”
This should not be a mere platitude uttered out of boredom, but a sincere commitment that comes from the heart. This love should be unconditional, not dependent on attitudes, assumptions, or behaviors.
“I will never cheat on you.”
This particular commitment will have an immeasurable impact on your life and marriage. Adultery is a destructive force that works against your own well-being.
As the scripture states, “he that commits adultery lacks understanding.”
“I will always be there spiritually.”
How blessed it is to have a spiritual spouse! A spiritually sensitive spouse is not only a prayer warrior, but a lifelong partner who does not hold onto grudges and wounds.
Nothing in this world can replace a spouse who is attuned to the frequency of heaven and feels the heartbeat of God. How fortunate are those who are married to a God-chaser?
If you uphold these three commitments, the butterflies in your stomach will continue to dance!
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want. In today’s dynamic world, change and adjustments are crucial. The purpose of this devotional is not to castigate men, but to emphasize the responsibility that God has entrusted to us as the head of our households. It’s an enormous responsibility that requires our utmost attention.
If you belong to any of the categories of men listed below, it’s high time you reevaluated your actions and made the necessary changes.
Let’s explore the three types of men that women don’t want.
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want
1. The Nocturnal Husband
Gone are the days of being a bachelor. You’re now married, and you need to come to terms with this new reality.
Why do you persist in staying out late? It sends the wrong signal and is generally frowned upon. If your spouse is uncooperative, seeking counseling or a viable solution is a better option than engaging in late-night shenanigans.
It’s inconsiderate to keep your wife up at night, especially if she needs to rest. Avoid environments that can potentially lead to infidelity.
Singles, take note – you don’t automatically change your habits after marriage. Therefore, it’s best to eliminate any negative habits while single.
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want
2. The Manipulator
This type of man uses money or other material possessions to coerce his partner into submission.
In the end, this behavior breeds resentment, bitterness, hurt, and a wounded spouse. These traits are detrimental to any relationship, particularly a marriage.
Such relationships are abnormal and not in line with God’s plan for healthy, loving relationships that provide a conducive environment for raising children.
As a single person in a relationship, avoid introducing money or gifts as rewards or punishments. It only fosters a money-driven relationship that lacks true love.
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want
3. The Non-Spiritual Husband
This man is reluctant to provide spiritual guidance for his family. He’s evasive, makes excuses, and doesn’t prioritize God in their lives.
He doesn’t read his Bible or pray. Without a deliberate and conscious relationship with God, a man is handicapped in providing spiritual leadership.
The head is where the eyes are located, and as the head of the household, a man is expected to provide vision and insight to his family. He is their compass and navigation system.
However, a man without a relationship with God cannot see beyond his nose. His vision is impaired, and his capacity for insight is limited.
Singles, be mindful of the person you’re committing to. Ask questions and take the time to get to know them properly.
In conclusion, these are the three types of men that women don’t want. May your marriage be blessed.
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want
4. The Abuser and Gas-lighter
These types of husbands are insecure. His insecurities are exhibited in being a control freak. He can’t allow his wife to have friends as everybody is a suspect. He resorts to abusive words and mental torture to put his wife under. He barrages her with words, constantly eroding her self-esteem till she believes she is good for nothing.
In some cases, domestic violence is involved as he would often go to any extent to tame his wife. This type of abuse may continue until he seeks help for his defects which he never sees or agrees with. This is why every marriage must have a mentor.
5 Phrases That Kill Marriages – Ladies, Avoid These! Ola, who was not speaking to his wife for days, buried himself in work. On the surface, the Johnson family appeared to be the epitome of the ideal couple, admired by everyone. Their marriage seemed to have been meticulously planned out by the heavens. They were considered as role models for the younger generation due to their top-notch PDA!
However, all of this was merely superficial! Ola Johnson was not happy! They despised each other when alone in the house. Ola would not speak to his wife for days, and Kelly Johnson was confounded as to how her once romantic husband had become so emotionally shut down towards her.
Despite putting on a show for the public, they were wrecked at home. They kept up with social media appearances while their reality was crumbling!
The order of the day was strife. Small actions would result in massive provocations. They both knew that they could not keep going on like this. Ola was unyielding. Their sex life lacked emotion, and the few times they did engage in it, Kelly could practically read a novel in the meantime!
What went wrong?
5 Phrases That Kill Marriages – Ladies, Avoid These!
Yesterday, we discussed “5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage.”
Today, we will be examining “5 Things Women Shouldn’t Say In Marriage.” Ola Johnson had been battered by words. Being a chronic phlegmatic, and his wife the sharp-mouthed choleric, he felt the only safe recourse was to resort to intimacy anorexia. He withheld his affection because he felt disrespected, and he believed his wife would not change!
The Ola Johnsons would undoubtedly require therapy!
But what were Kelly Johnson’s mistakes? These are some of the phrases she used repeatedly!
5 Phrases That Kill Marriages – Ladies, Avoid These!
1. ”I feel you are not being a man in this marriage.”
This statement would undoubtedly crush his ego, rendering him powerless since we are dealing with personalities here.
2. ”Why can’t you learn from Mr. So-and-so?”
Never compare your husband with another man. The outcome will not be pleasant.
3. ”With the way you’re going, I’m not sure you can provide for me and the family.”
Avoid making such statements to your fiance or husband. If you know you love him and are led by God, you should intercede for one another.
4. ”You’re just slow and lazy. All you do is sleep and watch football.”
Your fiance or husband will not take kindly to these words being repeated in their ears. Such words will not cause them to change either.
5. ”I made a mistake marrying you. I never had to suffer like this in my parents’ house. Why did you marry me if you knew you couldn’t take care of me?”
If you understand the principle of becoming one flesh in marriage, you will not even speak in this manner!
5 Phrases That Kill Marriages – Ladies, Avoid These!
Refer to 1 Pet 3:2 in the Amplified Version for further insight!
That concludes this morning’s discourse. It is worth noting that this devotional is not intended to justify unhealthy spouse habits, but rather to emphasize that wrong, inappropriate words uttered in marriage can jeopardize the survival of that marriage!
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using. Marriage can be a challenging journey, and it requires more than just love to make it work. Communication is key, but not all words are equal in their impact. In fact, some words should never be uttered by men to their wives or fiancées. Why? Because they can be like piercing swords in the heart of your partner, causing irreparable damage to your relationship.
Take the example of Bode and Sade. They got married a few years back, attracted to each other’s different personalities. Bode was the introvert, while Sade was the vivacious one. However, over time, their marriage hit rocky shores, and their once-exciting relationship turned sour. What happened?
It turns out that Bode and Sade had different expectations coming into the marriage. They also had different experiences growing up, with Bode exposed to negative utterances and vituperations, while Sade grew up in a family where abusive words were never used. When Bode dished out harsh words, Sade withdrew into her shell, and the excitement that once attracted Bode disappeared. As frustrations mounted, Bode continued to use harsh words, oblivious to the fact that his words were hurting his wife.
This scenario is all too common in marriages, and it’s essential to be mindful of the words we use. To that end, here are five things that men should never say to their wives or fiancées.
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using
1. ”I thought I married a joyful wife. You are obviously a sadist.”
This statement is a classic example of how not to communicate with your partner. By calling your wife a sadist, you are not only being hurtful, but you are also undermining her character. Your role as the priest of the house is to encourage and uplift your partner, not to tear her down with your words.
2. ”I don’t like the way you make stupid mistakes. I am having doubts about this wedding/marriage.”
This statement is a recipe for disaster. By expressing doubts about the marriage, you are creating unnecessary tension and anxiety in your relationship. Instead of attacking your partner, try to understand why they are making mistakes and offer support to help them improve.
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using
3. ”You are too slow for me. With the way we are going, we won’t last in this relationship/marriage.”
These words are not only hurtful but also have the potential to become self-fulfilling prophecies. By speaking negative words over your relationship, you are setting the stage for its failure. Remember, words are powerful, and what you speak, you attract.
4. ”What is wrong with you? You keep making mistakes every day. Are you sure you are okay?”
This statement is a direct attack on your partner’s self-esteem and can lead to self-doubt and low self-confidence. Instead of criticizing your partner, try to understand their struggles and offer a helping hand.
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using
5. ”I am not sure you are well brought up. My mum is not like this. She is not lazy and she took care of my dad!”
Comparing your partner to someone else, especially your mother, is a big no-no. It’s disrespectful and can make your partner feel inadequate. Remember, your partner is not your mother, and it’s unfair to hold them to the same standards.
In conclusion, marriage requires intentional communication and a willingness to speak the truth in love. Harsh words have no place in a healthy relationship, and it’s important to be mindful of the impact our words can have on our partners. By choosing our words carefully, we can create a positive and loving environment that fosters growth and happiness in our relationships.
When Enemies Kiss and Friends Wound. Ade met Sally and professed his love. He was all over her. Six months later, Sally was heartbroken. Ade became her enemy. There have been several kisses, but they were kisses of an enemy.
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson got married two years ago. Mr. Johnson had a bad habit that only his wife knows. His wife was on his case until he began to make changes. His ego was bruised, and his pride was punctured, but he got better. He was wounded, but they were wounds of a friend.
The scripture is filled with God’s wisdom. There is enough wisdom in God’s word such that, if followed, crises in relationships and marriages will be minimized.
Let’s take a look at the scripture
Pro 27:6 (KJV) Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
When Enemies Kiss and Friends Wound
There is an obvious contradiction in the verse above. I would have understood if the Bible says “The kisses of a friend and the wounds of an enemy. But the scripture says “Wounds of a friend and the kisses of an enemy.”
The friend comes with wounds. The enemy comes with kisses.
Your lover or spouse will often come with wounds, yet he meant well. Corrections and confrontations will burst your ego, will dissolve your pride, and will challenge your weakness zone! You will feel wounded either in courtship or marriage because that which you are used to is being unsettled.
Never refuse instructions from your spouse because your spouse knows you in and out.
Pro 15:32 (KJV) He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.
When Enemies Kiss and Friends Wound
Get ready to be wounded by those who love you! The one decorating you with kisses only is actually an enemy! The one that doesn’t correct you and tells you what you want to hear all the time is an enemy.
True love can be tough. God chastises those He loves! It pleased God for Jesus to be wounded so that we might be saved. It took a kiss from Judas for Jesus to be betrayed.
A kiss came from the devil because the Bible says Satan entered Judas. But a wound came from God to Jesus. He was wounded for our transgressions!
Your friend is a “wounder” and your enemy is a “kisser! Know this and know peace!
When you understand these dynamics, you will know that your spouse is not an enemy, the one who is not your spouse but is taking advantage and telling you stuff is actually an enemy!
