Wives, Appreciate your husband’s efforts. This morning I will like to write specially to the wives.
Good women could be frustrating their husbands’ efforts not because they are wicked but because they don’t know.
Men and women are so differently wired and that’s why it becomes important to learn about the different ways they are wired.
Women’s brains are like spaghetti, so they have things mixed up and jumbled up. Men’s brains on the other hand are like rice. Men separate issues and have the ability to treat events separately. Women, because of the way their brains are wired are tempted to give wrong, discouraging, and demoralizing vibes, when their husbands are trying to make efforts in pleasing them if something else is going wrong in other aspects.
A wife will not appreciate her husband’s good deeds if he fails in certain other areas. For example, she will not appreciate her husband’s hard work in providing for the family, if he criticizes her.
Women are giving to details. So they tend to focus on the little details not working. This could mean women are petty. Wives, Appreciate your husband’s efforts
If their husbands are putting 95% effort into pleasing them and 5% is not working. They tend to put their attention on the 5% not working.
The key here is to put your attention on the aspect where your husband is doing well and praise him. Praise him for the 95% or 5% as the case may be. He will get so excited and intoxicated with the praise that he will want to do more and better in those areas you want him to change.
Men will run from situations that make them feel pressured. They will rather stay where they are celebrated, that’s why men stay where they perform better eg their works.
So wives, my advice this morning is to celebrate your husband’s little effort in pleasing you, make a big deal of it and just hint at those areas you want him to improve on.
If you follow your natural wiring of focusing on details, you will keep demoralizing your husband. Praise him when you feel like complaining.
Your marriage will thrive. Wives, Appreciate your husband’s efforts
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am appreciative of who God has given to me as my husband. I celebrate all his effort in pleasing me.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father give me wisdom and understanding concerning my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Philippians 4:6 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to appreciate your husband’s effort to please you.
How To Have A Blast and Still Be Blessed. Sally and George were so deeply in love! However, George wanted Sally to do certain things for him which were like crossing the red line for Sally. Sally was caught in the middle. She so much loved George but she also adored God. It was a tug of war between the flesh and the spirit.
Can one really have a blast and still be blessed? Yeah, right! You can have a blast and still be blessed in your relationship! You can have a blast in your relationship without displeasing God or losing His favour in the process.
Sally was confused. She wept severally because she loved George and she loved God. She knew she had to drop one. It was a hard decision for her. The thought of dropping George seemed suicidal. The thought of dropping God is pure hell. What would she do?
As she sat in my office seeking counsel, I had compassion for her. I knew what to tell her, but I prayed for a pearl of wisdom for the right vehicle for my words to avoid a destiny accident. Love issues can be very tricky!
“Pastor, what should I do?” I looked at her. Her mien was that of one who knows what to do but lacks the strength to do so.
“Have you been sexually involved?” I asked her
She hesitated. Her head bowed, her countenance taking a duck, I knew the answer right away!
Sheepishly, she said “Yes Pastor, but we asked for forgiveness!”
“I am not here to condemn you daughter” I chipped in so that guilt will not convolute the conversation and the devil will not explore that loophole.
“It was only five times,” she said,
“Okay, my daughter.”
“You are in a battle between your soul and your flesh. The flesh wants George. Your soul needs God. The confusion is there because there has been a compromise. Every time there is a compromise, the soul gets confused.
“Think about this daughter. George is the lover of your flesh. God is the lover of your soul. To know what to do, you have to get into your spirit. The struggle is real but the truth is there.
Gal 5:17a (MKJV For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh.
Don’t be in a rush. God is not an author of confusion. Take some time and have a sincere conversation with God. I don’t want to call it prayer. Just talk to God. From your spirit, your belly, in your knower, you will know the truth, and when you know what to do, however painful it might seem, take that decision.
Let me warn you, emotionally, it won’t be easy, but eternally, it will be a blessing!
Remember this, God knows best! He will never lead you wrong and He will never abandon you!” The safest place to be is God’s side! This is How To Have A Blast and Still Be Blessed
“Thanks, Pastor.”
As she stood up to leave, I added, “I think the greatest misery a person can find himself is to seek pleasing his lover while displeasing God. Things are going to get awry quickly.
“I understand sir,” she said.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not disappoint God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me to the needful and not just listen my flesh
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 5:16-17 (MKJV) I say, then, Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. [17] For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh. And these are contrary to one another; lest whatever you may will, these things you do.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide for God, and not for your flesh!
Three Things Women Want In Their Husbands. One of the first commandments of marriage is ‘selflessness’. You will find happiness if you make your spouse’s happiness your priority. Husbands, if you truly love your wife, you will want to meet her needs.
Women have many needs but in today’s devotional, I will write about three of those needs.
Three Things Women Want In Their Husbands 1. Affection The Webster dictionary defines affection as “a feeling of liking and caring for someone or something : tender attachment : fondness”
Women love it when their husbands are fond of them. Husbands can show affection to their wives in a number of ways. The baseline is whatever you do in loving your wife, be thoughtful of her. Like her person and genuinely care for her and about her.
Let her know you are proud of being her husband. That you are proud of her, you genuinely value her contributions and opinions in your life.
Tender touches also show your affection towards her, public displays of affection (PDA), like holding her hands, smiling, and looking into her eyes are some other displays of fondness.
2. Meaningful Conversations Women love talking. Even for the introversive ones, she will still long to express herself by having meaningful conversations with her husband.
Meaningful conversations like what her desires are, her aspirations, her opinions, and her vulnerability are all that make for meaningful conversations for her. It’s important for a wife to be vulnerable to her husband.
It is a turn-off to conversations when the husband does not listen to understand his wife, and they can’t have a mature conversation.
Couples will always be different and so will have different opinions.
When husbands tune off, wives often feel they don’t care. Strong relationships are built on deep and meaningful conversations and real communication.
So if your wife says she wants to talk, switch off the TV, put your phone aside and give her your undivided attention.
3. Family Commitment Women need to feel secured. One of the ways she feels secured is when the wife knows that her husband is committed to her and her children completely.
Be Committed to your family by putting them first place in your thoughts, and decisions and being considerate of their welfare and happiness.
Let your wife see how important your family is to you. Love your children and be committed to them
Whether your marriage is on the rocks or strong as nails, it will absolutely benefit from examining these needs and applying them to your marriage. Always strive to give your spouse the very best of yourself.
Your marriage will thrive! There are the Three Things Women Want In Their Husbands
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my wife. I am affectionate towards her. I meet her needs for meaningful conversations and I am committed to our family.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Let the love of God be shed abroad in my heart towards my wife
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY In any case, as for you individually, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and wives should respect their husbands. Ephesians 5:33 CEB
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be affectionate and love your wife genuinely. Be committed to your family and have meaning conversions with your wife
Decide To Have A Blast In Your Relationship. Sandy and George fought all through their relationship! It lasted three years and there was not one week stretch without some heartache.
They got used to such heartaches till they thought it was normal. They got involved in many wrong things in their bid to have a nice time. And at the end of the day, they still broke up as a result of constant ceaseless series of quarrels and heartaches.
Well, I am here to tell you this morning, decide to enjoy yourself in that love story!
Quickly, I want to tell you how to enjoy your relationship and of course, how not to enjoy the relationship.
Decide To Have A Blast In Your Relationship!
How To Enjoy Your Relationship
1. Let the foundation of your relationship be God’s word. Whatever is opposed to God’s word, don’t do it.
Rom 14:23b (KJV) …for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.
2. Have a mutual mentor/pastor you are both talking to. There will be things that are beyond you and your saving grace will be that there is someone you can talk to.
3. Create a balance between faith and fun. The Cinemas are good, but make sure there are Bible studies too. The ice cream is okay but ensure you have time for fasting together. Balance is key.
How NOT to enjoy your relationship.
Sex should be out of the picture. This will eventually bring agony to the heart because you will lose God’s favour when you stay in disobedience. This will not be your portion in Jesus’ name.
2. Staying over the night in your lover’s place, playing a small Mummy role, and so on is not the way to go. In the kingdom, we don’t do such things. Continually spending nights together when you are not yet married will get you into unnecessary troubles.
3. Being in love or relationship with a person and keeping it secret already is symptomatic of serious issues. When you are disenfranchised from people and from authority figures because you are in love, you will suffer alone and have nobody to talk to during the day when the storms arise.
I am going to stop here this morning! Decide To Have A Blast In Your Relationship
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will enjoy my relationship
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, keep me from falling. Hold me by the hand in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:23b (AMPC) For whatever does not originate and proceed from faith is sin [whatever is done without a conviction of its approval by God is sinful].
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Stop those things that will not work eventually
Don’t Carry That Load Into Marriage. Sade is such a sweet lady who met Bode, a charming handsome guy. It was love at first, second and third sights! They fell in love like their love story was written from heaven itself.
Their courtship was short because they were both nearing their thirties. They were the quintessential couple, serving it hot for their teeming followers on Instagram.
They were so much in love or so it seemed. After the wedding, and just a few months after, several issues emanated and both of them were wondering where they found themselves.
They both had traveling baggage that they brought into the marriage! Don’t Carry That Load Into Marriage!
People whose baggage are traveling bags, seem like they have no issues, but the reality is that they have mastered the art of tucking away their weakness for months at a time.
Just like you don’t travel every day, they don’t show their issues every time. But seasonally, their “demons” come to the fore and seek to scatter things!
As soon as the imbroglio is settled, there would seem to be peace, but it would be short-lived. After some months, the problem rares its head again. It becomes frustrating because it would now seem the issues is there to be managed for life.
Jesus did not call you to manage problems and carry your baggage all through life.
He issues an eternal invitation and asks that you come for rest!
Are you tired from this load? Don’t Carry That Load Into Marriage!
Mat 11:28 (CEV) If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest.
Talk to Jesus now, and He would surely give you rest!
Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have rest from all troubles in Jesus’ name
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to see what I need to work on by your grace
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 11:28 (GNB) “Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Empty your handbag at the foot of the cross
