1. Be ready to massage his ego Every man has an ego. It is part of him and that is what makes him a man. He needs that ego to survive and to be the best he can be. While I don’t subscribe to men who are overly egocentric and who manipulate their fiancées or wives as a result, I know that as a lady you should be ready to stroke that ego and not crush it. If you keep on crushing a man’s ego, you will keep seeing the other side of him that is not really nice! How do you crush a man’s ego?
Let me give you a sample. You and your husband are dining alongside another couple. The other lady goes like, ‘one thing I like about my husband is that he is so patient with me, always available to even help me out in the kitchen most times” And then, you go like, “You are so lucky! My own husband? He is so lazy and behaves like an impatient drone. Rather than for him to help me out in the kitchen, he prefers to sit down playing cards with little kids like a deranged man. I wish he is like your husband…you are so lucky o.”
This looks like an extreme example, but anything like this, you have just finished the man, and he would look for ways to finish you as well because you just crushed his ego publicly! A man’s ego is so important to him that even if you try crushing it in privacy when you are alone, he will react immediately, not to talk of openly. It is not the way to go.
2. Be ready to respect him Respect is a major issue for men. So major that they are not ready to compromise in that area. So make up your mind to respect and be submissive to your husband if you really want to enjoy your marriage. Interestingly, the more submissive you are, the more he will listen to you eventually, and the more you will be able to influence him.
If you are a lady, and your song is ‘he never listens to me,’ I can tell you what is happening. Somewhere in his mind, he believes you are disrespectful.’ So any attempt to make contributions he flares up! Do you know why? He sees your contributions as trying to usurp his authority and he shuts you down or ignores you. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, rather than fight back or withdraw in frustration, try making adjustments in how you respect him, even in your choice of words and tone of voice, it all matters.
But Pastor, he doesn’t love me, why should I respect him? The instruction in Ephesians 5 is not a 50-50 contract. It’s 100% instruction. You are not to respect him because he loves you. You are to submit to him because he is your husband. The same goes for men, you don’t love your wife because she respects you, you are to love her because she is your wife. When couples start seeing it this way, they will be amazed at the changes that will take place in their marriage!
Now, listen to this, if you are so independent and you are not ready to respect and submit to your husband, you are not ready for marriage! It doesn’t matter whether you earn more than him or whether you are more traveled, he remains the head of the house. There cannot be two heads in the house, any two-headed creature is a monster. This is how God instituted it, and that is how it is going to work. But sincerely, in an atmosphere of love, the wife does not need to be shouted upon, ‘I am the head of the house!’ Like somebody said, the moment you have to keep screaming that, you have just lost the headship!
For singles in courtship, here is what you need to know. Never ever try disobeying God in any way because you want to respect your fiancé. For example, he asks you to come over and spend the weekend with him while you are not yet married. You have every right to disagree on that because you and I know what that would lead to. In fact, you need to review any kind of relationship where the guy is putting pressure on you for pre-marital sex. So, in your
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God. I know how to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will help you to know what to do per time.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Hello there, every couple or marriage has the potentiality of being tempted into an affair. Now, you need to understand that there are different types of affairs. Whatever or whichever affair, it’s best to close the door on any type of affair. Your spouse may be innocent or naive but there are desperate fellows out there. Oftentimes, these people are under the influence of Satan.
Remember the devil’s ministry is to steal, kill and destroy. Don’t give the devil a foot hold or he will take a mile. Affair proofing your marriage is not about becoming a SSS or a monitoring spirit and stalking your spouse all around.
Here are some tips that will help you protect your spouse from affair.
1. Make yourself so valuable to your spouse, he/she will always need you 2. Be true and genuine friends. 3. Love your spouse deeply. 4. Strive at all times to meet each other’s deepest needs. 5. Keep communication open all the time. The more you share communication on deep issues the more you protect your spouse from external influences. 6. Pray for your spouse daily and pray together daily. 7. Let your marriage be mentored. 8. Make God and His word and principle be the life line of your marriage. 9. Be sincere with each other in all things no matter how insignificant it may look. 10. Develop your individual fellowship with the Holy Spirit so you can be sensitive to His leading. This way the Holy Spirit can help you discern people with a ulterior motive around your spouse.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My spouse is protected from affairs
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, keep me and my spouse safe from affairs.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: (1 Peter 3:8 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to affair proof your marriage
Sandy and Bobby have been married for only seven months and yet Sandy is completely frustrated.
‘I will never be able to please this man. I don’t understand him. I thought we courted and I knew him.’ Their marriage has been characterized with daily quarrels, anger tantrums, and bitterness towards each other. Sandy doesn’t know what to do again because according to her, ‘this man doesn’t really love me!’
What was Sandy’s issue? She went into marriage not knowing who a man is! She was involved in jeru trip and that distracted her from the real preparation of the heart. Part of the preparation of the heart is to read wide, study hard, ask questions, stay under mentors, and so on.
Every man, whether he is born again or not has some peculiarities. When he has a relationship with God, has the fear of God and his mind is renewed, he is better able to handle these peculiarities.
Unfortunately, most ladies walk down the aisle in sheer ignorance of some of these peculiarities and after a few months, they really want to retrace their steps and walk up the aisle and out of the marriage.
If you are still single, these are some of the things you should know and probably read more about. This is what we try to achieve by God’s Spirit on KHC, if you can follow these devotionals, which are inspired by the Spirit of God, and you can follow the instructions passed across, you will succeed in your marital endeavors.
Why do I say that? That is the grace and unction upon the ministry, to raise a standard, to set things aright in courtships, and to restore dying marriages.
What are these peculiarities? The list is not exhaustive, but these seven are the pertinent ones.
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him 3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually 4. Be ready to cook for him 5. Be ready to dress for him 6. Be ready to pray for him. 7. Be ready to help him
Tomorrow, we will pick these seven issues one by one.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will give you wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
God speaks to everyone including children. Everyone can hear from God – that includes you! Remember the story of little Samuel in the bible, who later became a strong prophet that ministered to the Israelites and anointed kings?
Our heavenly father wants to speak to us and He does so in different ways. One of such way is through His word- the bible. The bible is the only place where all of God’s words reside.
Reading the bible is one of the ways you can hear from God. When you read about what God did, how He did it, and who He did it for, you get to know more about God.
Maybe you are facing a situation and don’t know how to go about it, read the bible: that is one way to hear from God. God will speak to you through a verse or chapter. He will direct you to a book where someone just like you, faced the same dilemma you are in.
When you read through, you will learn how the person resolved it with God’s help; that way God can help you resolve yours too. This is one of the ways you can hear from God .
Heb 4:12 KJV For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
The bible says His words are living. They are alive, quick, and sharp. Always speaking. See it as God speaking directly to you.
God bless you as you read, and thereby hear from God, Amen.
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for your word that is forever living and true. Let your words speak to me daily, in Jesus name. Amen.
Action plan: When next you think God is speaking to you or have a problem, pray and ask God to use His words to speak to you. Then incline your ears to hear from God.
Declaration (children): The Lord speaks to me through his word. My ears are opened to God’s word.
Sister Faith was spiritual! While on campus, she was everywhere. From prayer group to the Choir and then the missions, she tirelessly served God and it was obvious God’s hands were upon her. She counseled younger ladies, prayed for them, and ensured new converts were established in the fellowship. The fellowship missed her like “Mississippi” when she left.
At the one-year national orientation camp, the fire continued to burn, but not for long! The news soon filtered, she got involved in a relationship with someone who is not born again. All the attempts of other ‘brethren’ to stop her were futile. In later years, she was not happy. Her rich husband would not allow her to work or serve God. She became a permanent housewife, disappeared from church, and later entered into depression. Needless to say, she did not enjoy her marriage.
The question of destiny! This one cannot be over-emphasized. As singles, you cannot be involved with a man or woman that has no sense of destiny in God! In these days, and for whatever reason, you should not go into a marriage with someone that will hinder or stop your relationship with God. There are dream killers and destiny destroyers. When you marry such people, whole destinies can be swallowed up.
I feel like I’ve got a trumpet in my mouth to sound a warning to this generation about emotions and sexuality. You see, God cannot be mocked! Marriage is not what you fall into like a lamb being led to the slaughter because you are in love. Marriage comes with pressures, and those pressures are amplified when you get married to someone with no sense of destiny.
With marriage, dreams can come alive, and dreams can die, literally vapourize until you become a shadow of yourself. With marriage, the heavens can be opened, and with it, the heavens can also become iron. With marriage, you can move to your next level in God and you can be reduced to the level of your partner. With marriage, you can enter into unbelievable rebellion and bite the fingers that fed you, and you can honour those who have contributed to your life positively. With marriage, you can find your rhyme, come alive with hidden gifts bursting out into manifestation and divine expressions, and gifts can also be wrapped up and buried in the tomb of unbelief and depression.
Why is marriage that powerful? You see it is a covenant. In the book of Proverbs, the Bible says God’s word will keep you away from evil men and strange women. So, there are evil men and strange women. There are Delilahs whose mission is to destroy. There are Jezebels whose mission is to use you. There are Samsons who are anointed but are full of lust and will not mind sleeping with you before marriage and then preach the next day. There are Herods who don’t see anything in killing infants and will take to abort over and over.
In marriage, destinies are wedged together. Like the dog whose jaws are locked when it bites, there are people you kiss and your jaws are locked. In marriage, blessings and afflictions become intertwined and your issues become his\her issues.
