The opposite will always attract in marriage. You fell in love with your spouse because he/she is different from you. This is so not to encourage disagreement but to bring a different viewpoint into your covenant relationship.
Your love should move from being emotional to being intentional. This is where commitment, maturity, and understanding come to play.
You don’t do marriage because of feelings, you do because of commitment and respect to God who instituted marriage
Emotional love is when you have butterflies in your belly. When your spouse is so nice, loving, caring and he/she is just dope. No faults. No flaws. Everything is just right about them.
But you move to a point of maturity when even though you don’t feel loving towards your spouse because of what they have done or what they have not done, you are intentional and committed to doing those things that keep the love alive.
You don’t kill the embers of the fire of love. You keep on servicing love. Serving and maintenance is an important part of anything we hold dear and anything of value to us that we use.
We maintain our cars, clean up and repair things in our houses so also we should be ready to service our marriage.
Just because things are broken in your car or house doesn’t mean you throw them away. You are committed to spending your money and time fixing whatever needs to be fixed.
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Remember, marriage is till death do us part. You are not going anywhere. You stick with it until you have a breakthrough.
Don’t wait till everything breaks downtown beyond repairs. Just like you don’t wait till your four tyres are flat before repairing and changing them
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus mighty name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am intentional about my marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NIV)Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a logical conversation with your spouse
Marriage is beautiful, but it can quickly be obscured by the challenges and pressures that come with it. Its intended purpose can quickly fizzle out if care is not taken. My discourse with couples this morning is taken from the below short video. Watch it quickly before we proceed.
The devil is a bad devil. He seeks to distract, and obscure the reality of what God intended!
Your marital experience should be nothing short of fruitfulness. Fruit of the womb, fruit of the land, fruit from your substance and so on and so forth!
Here is what God said:
And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
Gen 1:22 (KJV)
Hold on to that word in your marriage. Say those words to your spouse every time! Look at your wife in the morning and declare over her; “Be Fruitful!” Move over to your husband and romantically whisper into his ears; “Be Fruitful!”
No negotiation!
Why? Because that was what was in the beginning!
I am not interested in what happened in the middle or what is happening now! I am interested in what was in the beginning!
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And the scriptures tells us what to do with what was from the beginning.
That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life;
1Jn 1:1 (KJV)
A. Hear it B. See it C. Look upon it D. Your hands handle it!
I pray for you this morning, your hands will handle fruitfulness in Jesus name! You will hold your children and you will hold millions!
This is what marriage is. Marriage is fruitfulness and there is no negotiation!
Be blessed this week!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is fruitful
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, cause my marriage to be fruitful
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 John 1:1[ESV] That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life—
1. Take Care Of Her Needs A lady has many needs; material, emotional and spiritual
Love to a lady is spelled being there for her at such times of need. As a guy who loves her genuinely, you should show empathy for her needs.
Definitely, you will not be expected to meet all her needs especially since you are not her Jehovah Jireh.
However, the husband is expected to show concern and encourage her in those times of need. Don’t just ignore her needs and pretend as if those needs are not important.
Let her know that her needs are important. Let her feel well taken care of. One of the distractions and deception the devil uses for ladies is to make them feel that some other guy can take care of them better.
As a man, don’t let the devil have the opportunity of deceiving her, take care of her well.
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2. Speak Into Her Life Words for a woman are very important. More so, words from her head, her priest, and her crown. Speak kind words to her.
Never lash at her with your words. Never hurt or wound her with your words. Such words go deep into her heart, causing deep emotional pains.
A lady can never be all she has the potential to become if all she hears from her husband are downgrading words. Take up the role of a high priest in her life.
Keep speaking God’s word over her life. The lady is like a vine, which initially looks weak and has to coil around a wall or stake but later develops deep roots and branches and becomes very strong.
3. Listen To Her There is no real love until you pay attention to her when she speaks.
The only way you can truly know a person is to listen when they speak. It’s from their words you understand how they reason, their opinions, and their viewpoints on issues
When your wife talks and you give her undivided attention, you are telling her she is important enough to listen to, that you value what she has to say so much, you want to listen, that she is intelligent enough in her conversation, you want to listen.
What you don’t understand is that when you treat your wife as though she is not intelligent, she notices, it affects her esteem and she begins to believe she is not intelligent and begins to act out what she believes.
May God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my fiance/fiancee with God’s love
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me and teach me how to love and understand my loved one
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 5:18 (MSG) Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man!
We know money is a major part of our lives as married couples. In fact, we make about 70% of our decision based on finances.
The house we live in, the area we stay, how many kids we have, what school they go, the type of clothes they wear, the type of food they eat, how comfortable the house we live in is, do we rent an apartment or buy one, what work we do, where we work, what part of the country we live in, what type of friends we have, the type of car(s) we have, what church we attend, our spiritual level…and it goes on and on.
Money is so important that it appears in the Bible 123 times.
The only thing that can compete with God in our hearts is mammon or finances. Every sin of covetousness especially of material things is traceable to Financial issues.
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Most adulteries and fornications are basically traceable to money. For example, a beautiful lady or handsome guy who you get attracted to is attractive because she/he can afford expensive things that make her/him beautiful.
No one is attracted to an ugly and poor fellow.
Money is a defence. It can defend our spouse and marriage from falling if properly used
For wisdom is a defence, and money is a defence: but the excellency of knowledge is, that wisdom giveth life to them that have it.
Ecc 7:12 [KJV]
So, as couples, it is important we talk about finances and guard against its adverse effect on our marriage. We can make money serve us at whatever level we are in. Finances will answer and solve the majority of our marital problems.
A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things.
Ecc 10:19 [KJV]
Tomorrow, I will show you some pertinent areas to discuss the issue of money with your spouse.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY We have money. Money doesn’t have us. We are rich.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give us the wisdom to know how to multiply whatever amount of money we have in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ecc 10:19 A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss the points with your spouse
The fact is that there are no perfect persons and we are all projects in the hands of God. However, there are basic traits to watch out for generally. While you may not be able to find a person that successfully combines all these, the qualities should guide you in your decision.
If a person does not have character defects and does not live in habitual sin, some of these qualities can be improved upon by asking God for His grace.
1. The test of integrity. Test him for faithfulness and integrity in little and big things. Make sure she has integrity and her words and actions line up. Integrity is very important because that is what will eventually preserve you.
The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.
(Pro 11:3 KJV)
God loves integrity. In Job 2:3, God boasted about Job and he mentioned his integrity. Integrity in that verse means ‘innocence’
The potential guy or the lady must have integrity as well. It is a great legacy to pass to the children. Integrity is from the word ‘Integral” meaning one. You are supposed to be the same person within and without.
Don’t marry a gentle saint on Sundays but a vicious man on Mondays. Be careful to not walk with persons of dual personalities who seemed to give their lives to Jesus one moment and then take the lives back the next moment.
How will you know all these? These are the things you will find out when you are friends.
That is why pre-marital sex should be avoided because it will get you confused and distracted. You see, the moment you are illegally bonded together in pre-marital sex, the obvious character defects that others can see will mean nothing to you.
They will ask you questions like, “What are you doing with that kind of person?” And you will be like, ‘leave me alone, I love him, he will change! You see, you have not even changed yourself! You are not the Holy Spirit who changes people! What the scripture says is that that you should not be unequally yoked!
Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands?
(2Co 6:14-15 MSG)
May God grant you more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God to walk with the right person
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that the person who will walk you down the aisle will be a person of integrity.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 11:3 [AMP]The integrity of the upright shall guide them, but the willful contrariness and crookedness of the treacherous shall destroy them.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘integrity’.
