A person who is emotionally unavailable would want to start a relationship in a rather too fast way.
Hours after meeting, he is already laying the sheets on the bed. Hours after meeting each other, she is already giving you body language that she is all for the take!
The guy feels lucky that he just met a sexually willing babe. Well, he just met a confused soul who wants to use him to deaden the pain in her heart.
A guy who is not really in love and has no emotional connection often times just wants the jeru trip. He is not emotionally available.
What you need to know is that for a relationship to work properly, there needs to be a development flow. But when you try to bypass the natural rhythm of intimacy, there will be relationship chaos!
An emotionally unavailable person wants the sexual phase of the relationship to happen quickly, but we all know that this is a phase that God wants to be reserved till the time of marriage.
I am going to stop here this morning, but before I go, a word for the married.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
In marriage, make sure nothing steals times of intimacy building between the two of you. Never allow any other person apart from your spouse into your emotional space!
Your emotional space is only for your spouse and any other person is an “alien” that will do damage to your heart. Block out every emotional opening and space to colleagues, boss, friends, and even your pastors! Let all the emotional space be taken by your spouse only!
That is how to be on safe ground!
May God grant more understanding in Jesus name!
I pray for all who might just be going through the process of emotional healing, I ask that God will touch your heart and grant you the grace to forgive and let go in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a wreck to my lover
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be emotionally stable
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:17(MSG) God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Heal from the past before moving to the next
Marriage, like any living thing, must be kept alive by taking certain actions on a regular basis. It has to be regular because consistency is necessary if we will make a success of our marriage. We have to learn to pay attention to it. Whatever we pay attention to grows and increases.
We see and hear of successful couples who have been happily married for 30years or more doing the same things over and over again.
It is not the big things we do that makes our marriage great but it is the little things we have learnt to do on a consistent basis that makes our marriage work and become better and more intimate.
Here are 3 simple things we can do as a matter of routine.
1. Play
Couples should learn to play together. Marriage grows stale and monotonous if we don’t take time to play. We could as well be a house or flatmate. One out of the two spouses will be more playful. Please be responsive whenever your playful spouse makes advances, even when you don’t feel like. There is nothing as frustrating as been giving a cold treatment each time a spouse what’s to play.
For the serious or not so playful mate, you can always learn to play. The benefits of playing are so much. You look and feel younger and it is a good therapy against worry.
2. Pray
It is true that whosoever you pray for and play with every day, you love more and get to be fond of more.
Let every couple take time daily to pray for each other. Even if you cannot pray together, maybe because of different schedules, you should pray for each other.
Each of us has twenty-four hours. Let us take some moment out every day to thank God for our spouses and then pray.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
If we have a scripture we pray on a daily basis for our spouses, the better. We can be sure that they are saved from the hands of the enemy daily.
Imagine you praying every day for your spouse for 20 years. How beautiful will it be? When you pray for your spouse, you are saying that you know your spouse is weak but divine intervention will help them.
3. Pay
Let being married to your spouse cost you something. Don’t let their birthdays pass you without you spending money to celebrate and appreciate them. Make every day special. Buy little stuff for your spouse. Pay their bills. Don’t be married and yet your purse is not. Let your purse know that you are married.
Being married means you can’t buy things only for yourself. You can’t pay for your food at the restaurant, it has to be for at least two.
As a husband, when you see something on any lady you admire, buy it for your wife also.
I believe if we can do these 3 things on a daily basis, our marriage will improve.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will work at making my marriage the best
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to pray for my spouse daily
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; – Eph 5:19
It is important you look for a lady who is your friend. Friends don’t want to hurt one another. Friends love each other truly. Friends forgive each other easily. Friends want to be with one another. Friends don’t have problems with communication. They talk all the time.
It is important that your love grows from friendship. That is why it is not good to rush into a relationship with a person you barely know. There is a huge difference between marrying an acquaintance and marrying a friend.
It is even worse when you decide to marry a stranger that you met on social media. You will not live on Facebook. You will not give birth on Google Plus. You will not cook on LinkedIn.
So, why establish and maintain a relationship over social media?
Why fall in love with a profile? Why become emotionally attached with a voice over the phone? You have to go for a friend and friendship involves constant communication and a committed relationship.
Before you fall in love, before you are caught in a rapturous ecstasy, try and see her one on one! It is impossible to fall in love with a person you don’t know, so become friends first and don’t be caught up in infatuation.
2. Look for a homely woman
The next thing to look for in a woman is homeliness. Look for a lady that can cook! Yes, she is not a house-help, but she has to know how to cook! Good food is very important to men.
As a single lady, train yourself to know how to cook well. If she cannot cook, there will be issues.
If as a lady, you had grown up among several house-helps and you barely go to the kitchen, you have to deliberately teach yourself how to prepare good food in preparation for marriage.
If you visit your fiancée and all you are served are always noodles, flakes, beverages, and refreshments, you should start suspecting! That’s a joke!
Be creative with cooking. Get on the Internet and download recipe ideas.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am deliberate in my approach to find love
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY O Lord, turn things around in my favour
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor––since they’re already “one” in marriage Eph 5:28 MSG
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start preparing for your marriage now.
Best Ways To Fall In Love Again As Couples – Part 3. This is the conclusion of our discussion in the last three days.
8. Respect each other’s space
You have to respect each other’s space. Let your spouse be. Sometimes back, my husband was quite busy putting our services online and doing other ministry stuff to meet a particular schedule. Then he finished his work and all the tension seem to have disappeared, so he wanted to play.
It was however a wrong time for me to play. I was praying and studying. He did play for some time but he respected my time to study and pray. We respected each other’s space and were willing to understand and help each other grow.
9. Be each other’s friend
Being each other’s friend has to do with everything including being gist partners, cheerleader, number 1 fan, critic, prayer partner, jester, teaser, confidant, gossip, gist partner, teacher, mentor, leader, you just name it.
Just focus on each other. Do things that please each other. Love each other. Follow the guiding words of 1 Corinthians 13. Love each other genuinely.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
10. Be your unique self
Your uniqueness remains your best selling point that endears you to your spouse. Of cause, try to be an improvement of who you are but don’t lose your flavor. Your flavor is the taste your spouse can never get anywhere else.
Do things that your spouse can remember with only you. Avoid nagging, being unfriendly, cold, harsh, or abusive. Try also not to be lazy because it takes hard work to build a marriage.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to be a lazy spouse
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray for a closer bonding with your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief – we’re not oblivious to his sly ways! (2Co 2:11 MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take out time to bond with your spouse
So yesterday, we looked at how to increase our love walk with each other as couples. I felt we addressed the spiritual aspect more and some people could be asking for something more practical and easy to relate to. At least, not everybody is a pastor.
More practical ways to show or increase in our love walk as couples.
6. Give undivided attention to your spouse
It is disheartening when as couples your spouse gives you little or no attention at all. You feel you don’t matter and your person is not relevant to your spouses’ life. You feel they can do without you and your input doesn’t count.
This is not a good feeling and must be avoided, if your marriage must work. Learn to give your spouse your undivided attention. The best way to do this, is by listening to what they have to say and looking at them eye ball to eye ball.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
7. Take time to recreate together.
My husband is a very busy man and I’m grateful to God for his multidimensional ability in painstakingly using his initiative at his work. It is translating to food on the table. Despite his busyness, he still finds time daily to play and make us laugh.
When you are with someone you love, you should make the atmosphere lively and environment conducive to laugh.
Play, joke, make jests, tell stories that touch the hearts (lol), play games together, etc. Just find something to do together.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I give undivided attention to my spouse
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray for a closer bonding with your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief – we’re not oblivious to his sly ways! (2Co 2:11 MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take out time to bond wit your spouse
