Happy new month! This month will be glorious for us all. We started writing on this topic three days ago. Did you miss them? Not to worry! see them below.
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under the delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out. Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious. They are unapproachable and unreachable. But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth wasting time on what would not work.
7. Two unforgiving people
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home, and life. Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker. If one of the couples is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier to resolve the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
The root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including children defiled.
The way out
So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate. Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective. I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, be still in Jesus’ name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus’ name!
3. Two people where one is born again and the other is not
Here is another scenario that doesn’t always play out well, except with patience, prayers, and perseverance. I always advise singles not to think of getting married to someone who doesn’t have a relationship with God. It would always be filled with challenges that you might have to fight alone because you do not agree with your choice of weapons. You want to pray, but he or she thinks you are just being fanatical.
That can be very disconcerting. It is always a good combo when both agree and are going in the same direction in terms of belief systems and practices.
4. Two sentimental people
When two sentimental people get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home. Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from a sentimental point of view rather than principles. They can ruin themselves in no time because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments. They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
5. Two angry people
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody who has anger problems and who refuses to work at it. An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds. Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
These are simply the four most important persons in a marriage or relationship setting that will make it balanced and blissful. We all desire blissful marriages, but have you asked yourself why is it so far-fetched? I think the answer lies in this quadrant of marriage. Know these and know peace
This quadrant includes (not in any particular order)
1. God
2. The person of the Holy Spirit
3. The wife
4. The husband
Knowing each person in this quadrant will go a long way in making a success of your marriage. These four persons are key and are also interwoven. Knowing one at the expense of the other could be detrimental to the success of the union.
It is to be noted that the husband and the wife (fiance and fiancee as the case may be if in a relationship). They are both given the responsibility to first know God, then themselves, appreciate themselves, understand themselves, and celebrate themselves before trying to know and figure out the other person.
As I said earlier the knowledge of all four persons is very important and each has its place.
1. God – the big G
He is the sovereign God who rules in the affairs of men and wants the take the wheel in every life if He is permitted. God instituted marriage and He already figured out that we will have directions and instructions both for our lives and for our marriage. So each of us is to follow this Manual. The extent to which we follow it is the extent to which we will know peace in our home and marriage. God cannot be wrong, so also His word. Follow His instructions to the letter for marriage and you are good to go.
Are you getting blessed? I will continue on this tomorrow by God’s grace. Have a fantastic day!
Everyone especially the ladies had a dream marriage in mind, what we call, childhood dreams. (not necessarily a dream wedding). A marriage is far more important than a wedding. Our childhood dreams of a ‘happily ever after’ can come to pass.
How we love to feel loved, is usually expressed in those dreams.
It is best to start preparing for that dream marriage as a single lady or guy.
The problem is that most people do not take the time to pursue their dreams.
Their dreams are not even clear enough to them. They have not sat down to conceptualize their dreams and know what their dreams require.
It remains as a wish and never gets actualized.
I believe the process of writing the vision and making it plain upon tablets that he may run that read (Hab 2:1) is very important.
Habakkuk 2:2 – 3 NKJV [2] Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. [3] For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.
As a young person, the dream marriage you have always wanted is not meant to just be a dream, it is meant to be pursued.
Knowledge about marriage, application of what you learned, and prayers are 3 important keys to making your dream marriage come to reality.
Whatever stage you are whether you are single, married, having troubles in your marriage or a relationship about to divorce, you can still pursue your dream.
Here are the 3 keys that can help
1. Knowledge about marriage
Marriage is an institution that requires adequate and proper study. You study and never give up. Be a studious student of marriage before you get married and while you are married.
As a lady, study to understand the guy you will marry and study to know and understand yourself and vice versa. Learn about marriage itself. So many people are making a shipwreck of their marriage at different levels because of a lack of knowledge.
How many books do you have or have you read on marriage is a good question to ask yourself
Remember if wishes were horses, beggars will ride.
2. Application of what you have read.
What you read or learn through books, seminars, and conferences is of no use if they are not applied. It is in the doing that we are blessed.
Knowledge creates awareness. We have Awareness, Application, and Accountability where you become accountable to God who gave you the dream and desire of a blissful marriage
3. Prayers
I believe marriage is not meant to be done outside of God. From choosing the right spouse as a single and being the right spouse ( being compatible) to living and becoming one in marriage. You need God all the way. Prayer allows you to commit yourselves to the author of the marriage institution. You receive the needed guidance and help and you learn to talk to God and listen to Him.
Your dream marriage is worth pursuing. Pursue it and don’t give up. Don’t settle for less.
It’s time for a bit of real talk – physical attraction matters. You don’t want to be stuck with someone who makes you cringe when you see them in the morning. Aim for that “Wow, you look amazing” vibe, not the “how did I get here” morning scream.
Go for somebody you are attracted to! You don’t want to spend the next fifty years married to somebody you don’t appreciate or be proud of because of money! You sure want to get married to somebody that will make you happy. If you spend half the time wishing you had married somebody else because of appearance, it will affect your productivity and you won’t be able to give your best as a spouse!
4. Romance 101 – Mutual Love and Romance:
Now, let’s dive into the lovey-dovey stuff. Mutual love and romance are like bread and butter – a classic combo. Do you know the scriptures want you to stay loved up with your spouse after the wedding and to fill your heart with his or her thoughts?
Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose–– don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! (Proverbs 5:19 Message)
5. Life Purpose Jam – Purpose and Destiny Alignment:
Lastly, we’re getting deep into life talk. Make sure your life purposes align. It’s not a business merger, but you want to ensure you’re both heading in the same direction. No one wants to wake up one day and realize they’re lost in a crazy marital maze!
Do you have a definite assignment from God? Make sure marriage doesn’t swallow up your love for God. There is nothing as terrible as being married with total loss of fulfillment and the nagging thought that you are out of God’s purpose.
When you are head over heels in love, these are some of the things to discuss. Purpose and destiny discussions, not sexual discussions. Alignment in the mind, not in the body!
