Many people enter relationships expecting “love” to fix them. They think a spouse will erase their insecurities, a partner will heal their past wounds, or marriage will suddenly make them whole. But I bring you the truth today: love (Eros) won’t heal you—only God can.
Singles, hear me: the worst thing you can do is place the weight of your happiness or wholeness on another person. If you feel empty, unloved, worthless, or broken, a relationship won’t fix it—it will only expose it. Two incomplete people don’t make a whole relationship; they make a wounded one. It is two whole people that come together to make a whole relationship.
So, instead of searching for someone to “complete” you, let God make you whole first. That way, when the right person comes, you’ll love from a place of strength, not desperation.
So, my friends, heal before you deal. Become whole before you become entangled with another. Stop being desperate for “love” as a way of completing you—search out where the insecurity is coming from and allow God to heal you.
For married couples, expecting your spouse to be your healer is quite a heavy burden. Yes, love/marriage brings comfort and support, but no human can fill the void only God was meant to fill. If you’re struggling with insecurities, past trauma, or deep emotional wounds, don’t look to your partner as the solution—bring it to God.
Come vulnerable before God and find healing. A healthy marriage isn’t about two perfect people; it’s about two surrendered people who continually allow God to shape them.
It is God who heals. It is God that binds up the broken-hearted, not any man/woman.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
Love is beautiful, yeah, but it is not a substitute for healing. So before you search for love—or while you’re already in it—ask yourself: Am I expecting a person to do what only God can? Because wholeness isn’t found in a relationship. It’s found in Him. Reach out to Him today. He’s waiting for you.
I hate to be the “killjoy” right now, but I’m just helping you. Listen. Sometimes, what we call “love” isn’t really love. It’s just a craving for attention that is being met. You’re screaming “You’re in love with so, so, and so” but it may just be you enjoying the calls, the sweet messages, and the compliments. The attention creates a mirage that makes you believe you’re in love. But my question to you is: if the attention disappears, would the love still remain? Is the love hanging on any other thing aside from the attention?
My dear singles, it’s easy to mistake affection for true connection. Someone gives you attention, and suddenly, you feel special and in love. (And the bad guys know this; so if they want to get you, they give you attention.)
But be careful, my dear—are you really in love with the person or just the way they make you feel? Attention is temporary; true love is built on character, shared values, and commitment. If you strip away the sweet words, is something real between you two? Do your values align? Do you like his/her character? Are they godly? Today, I dare you to strip off the feelings and sweet words, and see if you will find something deeper in that relationship. This is one way to know if you truly love this person or if you are just falling because of the attention you’re receiving.
And for my married couples, attention from outside your marriage can be dangerous. Very very dangerous! Extremely dangerous! A simple compliment from someone else might feel exciting, especially if things at home feel a bit dry. But don’t allow a simple moment of attention to make you forget the love and home you’ve already built. Remember your covenant. A stranger’s admiration is never worth the destruction of a covenant. Oh, I hear you say there’s nothing physical between you two. Well, it’s called an emotional affair. Even Jesus warned that you don’t need to get physical to get physical—once your emotions are entangled and lust is birthed, you’re already in it.
It’s time to flee! Instead of seeking attention elsewhere, invest that energy into your spouse—flirt with them, appreciate them, and rekindle the excitement within your own marriage.
This is a call for us all to guard our hearts, just as the bible instructs:
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23
Not every form of attention is good for you. Don’t ever mistake temporary excitement for lasting love.
Singles, don’t marry just because of attention. Couples, don’t dishonor your marital covenant simply because of attention. Real love isn’t about who makes you feel special for a moment—it’s about who stays and chooses you, every single day. Look inward and work out your marriage with fear and trembling.
It’s easy to get caught up in seeking validation. Whether it’s through relationships, social media, career success, or the approval of family and friends, we often feel like we need someone else to confirm our worth. I am here to tell you that you are enough!
When you start seeking validation from people, you unknowingly give them control over your self-worth. Their compliments make you feel high, but their silence makes you question yourself. It’s like chasing the wind. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never catch it. And let’s be real: people are fickle. One day they’re cheering for you, and the next, they forget you exist. If Jesus the Son of God was praised by the crowd one week and crucified the next, what makes us think people’s opinions about us will stay consistent? This is why your worth must come from God alone.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” — Galatians 1:10 (NIV)
As a single, this pressure can feel even stronger. Society tells you that love from another person is what makes you complete. You hear comments like, “When will you settle down?” or “Don’t you want someone to share life with?” And before you know it, you start questioning if you’re missing out or if something is wrong with you.
But here’s the truth: You don’t need anyone else’s approval to be enough, you already have God’s. Your value was never meant to be placed in people’s hands.
Jesus Himself was single, yet He lived the fullest, most purpose-driven life possible. He never chased human validation. Instead, He was secure in the love of the Father. And because of Christ, you are already fully known, fully loved, and fully accepted.
The world tells you that your worth is based on how many people admire you, but God says:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah 31:3)
“You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)
“The Lord delights in you.” (Isaiah 62:4)
If God, the Creator of the universe, delights in you, why waste time seeking approval from people who constantly change their opinions?
Your singleness is not a sign of lack, rather it’s a season of purpose. Instead of searching for validation, rest in the truth that God has already called you His. Live in that confidence. Walk in that security and know that you are already enough, just as you are.
You are not waiting to be loved, you are already loved beyond measure. Live in that truth today.
Valentine’s day has come and gone. Some people are smiling, some others are still wailing. Some people received multiple gifts, while others waited till midnight, yet got no gift. Now, you know exactly where you stand.
Some people had their innocence taken away, while some gave it out cheaply. Now that the adrenaline rush is over, and you are back to reality, let us talk.
Now is the time to take an inventory of whatever happened to you on Valentine’s Day, and make some decsisions.
If you feel you messed up, don’t stay there. Don’t sit down, sulk, and cry over what has happened.
Hos 6:1 [NIV] Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.
Rise up from your pain and regret. It is not the end of the world. Mistakes have been made, but they do not define you. What defines you is what you choose to do next. Rather than sit in self-pity, rise, learn, and move forward.
For those who feel used, unappreciated, or broken, take a step back and reflect. What led you to this point? Were you too trusting? Did you ignore the red flags, I am sure they were there. You must answer these questions to prevent a repetition of what just happened.
For those who had a wonderful Valentine’s Day, filled with love, gifts, and attention -be grateful. However, do not let one day of affection blind you to the reality of your relationship. Is your relationship built on a firm foundation? Will the love last beyond the chocolates and roses? Feelings are fickle, they do not last, so ensure your love is rooted in something deeper and more meaningful – in Christ.
No matter what your Valentine’s Day looked like, today is a new day. Pick yourself up. Make wiser choices. Seek healing, and most importantly, like the prodigal son, return to the One who loves you unconditionally. His love is not seasonal, it does not waver, and it will never leave you empty.
In this generation, it appears that physical attributes, or simply put beauty, are the primary factors considered when choosing a spouse!
People go to such an extent that they use online and social media filters to alter their appearances and looks, creating an illusion for both the observer and the person being observed.
Well, the reality is that relying solely on outward appearance as the primary criterion is a recipe for disaster.
Let’s examine what the Bible suggests!
Gen 2:23 (KJV) And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Bone of my bones.
Flesh of my flesh.
Bones, which lie within, symbolize the body’s structural foundation and inherent strength.
In contrast, flesh, which lies outside, serves as an external covering, protecting the underlying bone.
The scripture mentions the bones of my bones first, before the flesh of my flesh. This is deliberate and not a mere coincidence.
The bones will always hold greater significance than the flesh.
That which lies within, the structure that holds that handsome man or beautiful woman, that is their character, is of utmost importance.
Yes, I understand that you should marry the one you are attracted to.
Yes, beauty is important, but it should never be the sole criterion for offering something.
Pro 11:22 (MSG) Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head.
Yes, you read that correctly!
The image of a gold ring in a pig’s snout is jarring and incongruous, starkly contrasting the outward beauty with the inner emptiness.
A beautiful face (outer beauty) is meaningless if the person lacks inner qualities such as wisdom, kindness, and character (inner substance).
Don’t judge people based solely on their physical looks. Instead, take the time to get to know their character and inner qualities.
Cultivate inner beauty as a single person. Focus on developing a beautiful inner life, which will eventually radiate outward and enhance your outward appearance.
