From time to time, I am beleaguered with tales of abuse from the ones who once professed love to their wives.
As singles who are not yet married, you have to know what you are going for.
After the wedding, your choices are limited and restricted.
As singles, this is the time you need to borrow yourself “some brain” and stop holding to what is obviously faulty from the very foundation.
Before You Marry
If you are being abused in a relationship, male or female, hit the pause button.
Don’t think a wedding will change things. It will not.
A wedding will not transform anybody.
Any change you couldn’t make as a single would not be easier to make after the wedding.
So, be careful of a wilful abuser who keeps telling you he will change after hitting you.
Yes, there could be a mistake and flaring of temper, which is wrong anyway.
But when there is an angry partner, always fuming at little provocations, getting angry at everything, hitting you over and over, and then apologizing, you need to be careful before you sentence yourself to a lifetime of abuse.
The Bible did warn about such people.
Pro 22:24 (KJV) Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
It is a clear warning.
Don’t be friends with such people not to talk of dating them.
Why would the Bible warn you?
Pro 22:25 (KJV) Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.
Pro 22:25 (MSG) Bad temper is contagious— don’t get infected.
Before You Marry
One can quickly become hurt, bitter, nasty, and even evil because of marriage with a wicked partner.
Be careful.
Do not invite afflictions that are not supposed to be part of your life.
The Answer is Yes! You can marry an imperfect person because nobody is perfect. Nobody!
We are all a work in progress.
But wait… let’s make some clarifications.
An imperfect person is not someone who is living in an unrepentant habitual sin, sinning willfully and enjoying the pleasures of sin.
In other words, I am saying, you cannot marry someone who is living consistently in habitual sin, with no remorse or repentance.
Such a person is going to get you into trouble and drag you into misery.
About being imperfect, the scriptures let us know we will get better as we stay in the Word, study the Word, pray in the Spirit, and pay attention to the things of the Spirit.
Is your lover doing all these?
Can I Marry An Imperfect Person?
Check the scriptures:
2Co 3:18 (KJV) But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.
Again we see here:
Rom 12:2 (KJV) And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
We are promised a change as we pay attention to the Word.
This is entirely different from a habitual sinner. He is not interested in changing or getting better in God.
He may profess interest in change with his mouth, but his heart is far from that.
He or she is not interested in God’s word, he is only religious, and he goes to church.
He is a serial fornicator. He plays sports with sin.
The Bible warns against such people.
Can I Marry An Imperfect Person?
Here are some clear instructions:
1Co 5:9-11 (MSG) I wrote you in my earlier letter that you shouldn’t make yourselves at home among the sexually promiscuous. [10] I didn’t mean that you should have nothing at all to do with outsiders of that sort. Or with crooks, whether blue- or white-collar. Or with spiritual phonies, for that matter. You’d have to leave the world entirely to do that! [11] But I am saying that you shouldn’t act as if everything is just fine when one of your Christian companions is promiscuous or crooked, is flip with God or rude to friends, gets drunk or becomes greedy and predatory. You can’t just go along with this, treating it as acceptable behavior.
You are not to be friends with such people and not to talk about getting married to such because of perceived benefits.
I will continue where I stopped two days ago. Previously, I wrote about the fact that God gave every woman the ability and capacity to be a builder.
Our text in Proverbs 14:1 KJ V says,
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands’.
We also talked about how we need to build according to the pattern.
Ex 25:40 And look that thou make them after their pattern, which was shewed thee in the mount.
God is the architect, He gives us the blueprint of what we should build, the material to use in building, and how we should build. It is building according to the pattern that makes us wise women who build our homes.
Today, we will be looking at how we should build our homes and families.
1. We should build with prayers
Jud 1:20-But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost,
Our homes and families have different aspects just like any building has different sections and areas like the sitting room, the bathroom, the bedroom, the kitchen etc. Each of these different component of the building have different functionalities and you cannot replace them with each other. In the same way, the different aspects of our homes and families need to be built up through prayers.
You must build every aspect of your home, marriage, and family with prayers. As a woman, you are not permitted to joke with prayers. Pray for each child. In fact, praying for them starts from conception. And the best way to pray for your children is in tongues as the Holy Spirit grants you utterance. You pray for and about your spouse and every detail of his life. It is an assignment. Your husband’s success should be your prayer burden. Pray for yourself because you are also part of that building. It is full-time work. There are so many aspects of your home and marriage that you build up through prayers.
2. We should build with the Word
Luk 6:47 Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like:
Luk 6:48 He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock.
The word of God is our only guarantee of a strong and solid foundation for our homes, marriage, and families. The infallible word of God is what ensures that what we are building stands the test of time and can weather the storms of life. So that whatever beats against our family and marriage, we will still be standing.
When we take time to build intentionally with fervent and continuous prayers and the Word of God we are wise. Don’t let us be like the foolish builder in Luke 6:49. Let’s learn to build according to the pattern God has shown us.
It is my prayer that we will be wise indeed and that the Lord will give us strength and Grace to carry on His mandate for our lives as women.
When You’re Ready for Marriage. Let’s take a look at some hints that show you are really ready for marriage.
1. You are not lonely.
This is because marriage is never the solution for loneliness. You can be married and be lonely! Ask some married folk. You are not ready for marriage if you are lonely. Adam was not lonely; he was alone. Loneliness and being alone are not the same thing.
Marriage is never meant to alleviate loneliness; rather, it is meant to supplement and provide companionship.
If you look up the word “helper,” you’ll see what I mean.
Genesis 2:18 (KJV) And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
The Amplified Bible calls it a helper and then expands on that word.
Genesis 2:18 (AMPC) Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.
When You’re Ready for Marriage
2. You are not looking for house help.
A woman is to be a helper rather than a house help The definitions have been established. They are not the same thing.
Depending on the circumstances, she can do the laundry, but she is not a dry cleaner or washing machine.
She hasn’t come to work her hands to the bone while her husband watches the news and football.
This is especially crucial now since there are so many career women.
If the young couple does not have housekeepers or anyone else to assist them, they must both face the labor and not delegate it to one side. This is what real love is!
This does not diminish the wife’s hard work and industriousness, as demonstrated by the virtuous woman, but it also does not render the husband superfluous in the home.
There should be “labor division” in love!
hen You’re Ready for Marriage
And this is why single should not spend weekends with boyfriends in order to secure a wedding.
That is not how it works.
You’ll have more sex (which is sinful) )and less meaningful conversations to develop your marital aspirations.
The time that should be spent getting to know each other and examining character flaws is instead spent wrapped up in each other’s embrace, in passionate sex, which is why difficulties arise after the wedding.
You never got to know that person with you on the bed.
Today, we’ll look at the signs of an unhappy or dying relationship and marriage. This will allow us to diagnose and eliminate these problems swiftly. Let’s get started.
Signs of a Dying Relationship or Marriage
1. When trust has died and has been cremated
The foundation of any marriage’s success is trust.
Create trust! Please don’t break it! Without trust, the marriage has no foundation.
How do you sever trust?
When you consistently disappoint your partner with lies and deception, trust will crumble. When confidence in a marriage is lost, the end is imminent. You cannot do without trust! Build trust deliberately through honesty.
Do everything you can to maintain trust by being truthful to a fault. Let your spouse r finance be able to line up your words with your actions! Be completely honest.
A trust may be re-established once it has been destroyed, but it takes time and perseverance.
Signs of a Dying Relationship or Marriage
2. When the couple disregards God
There is really little you can accomplish without God.
God is the one who builds homes. God is the architect of marriage.
It is a waste of time to strive to construct without God.
Psa 127:1 (KJV) Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
As a form of retaliation, some couples engage in adulterous acts. It is only a matter of time before the impending crash becomes apparent.
Iniquity is always a destructive path. Don’t toe that path!
Sin’s wages are death, thus when sin enters a marriage system, it dies by default.
I pray your marriage does not end in divorce!
I prophesy over your marriage and household, and I pray that God will protect you in Jesus’ name!
