The ability to enjoy whatever God has given to us despite imperfections is the maturity that takes for happiness in life and marriage. It is in loving our spouse unconditionally that makes marriage beautiful and fulfilling. We all have so many buts, we can choose to or choose not to consider in our spouse.
The Bible says love covers a multitude of sins. It means if we choose to walk in love, we can ignore or better still, hand our spouse’s flaws to God.
This prayer becomes handy; Lord give us the Grace to change the things we can change and the courage to leave the ones we cannot.
When we hand over such things to God, we should know that God is capable of handling them in His own way. Once in God’s hands, we should rest and trust in His love.
What most people do is that they give God and then collect it back. God knows what best to do to change a man. There is no overnight transformation. Even God appreciates the process of gradual change or transformation.
Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.
Rom 12:2 GNB
Am I asking us to keep quiet and suffer in silence? No. Neither am I justifying wrong behaviors or any character flaws or defects. Most of the character flaws we see in marriage were already there as singles. It only became amplified in marriage.
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An irresponsible man had always had those tendencies. It was only fully expressive in marriage.
If we will not focus on the temperamental differences of our spouse, we would have done well.
So far as what we complain about are our differences, fear not. God will always see us through. The opposite will always attract. You found yourself attracted to your spouse and eventually married him/her because he was different from you.
If you are a fast person, you will be attracted to a quiet, easy-going person. A serious person will marry a playful person. It is these same differences that later repels, annoys and, gets us aggravated.
Some couples say, I love my spouse but she talks too much, but she is lazy, but she is careless. I love my spouse but he is aggressive, but he works too much, we can’t even go for vacation….and on and on.
What we should do is appreciate and thank God for the difference. Know that God put the differences there so you can accomplish much in your marriage. Try and let love, understanding, and patience have their full course in your lives.
You have to understand that neither you nor your spouse is correct or wrong, it is just about being wired differently, having different opinions, and seeing things from different viewpoint and perspectives.
So if you are hoping and thinking, ‘I love my spouse, but…’, you have to begin to remove the ‘but’ from your marital dictionary and begin to love your spouse despite their faults. Learn to forgive and forgive fast. Never allow issues to linger for long before seeking to forgive. Don’t allow ego or pride to finish your marriage.
I know a couple whose marriage is fast heading for the rocks. The wife has chosen to believe she is right and is waiting for her husband to come rolling on the floor begging. The husband too is unwilling to bend, saying she is fond of doing that and that he is tired of begging.
The wife has refused to listen to counsel. It is their differences that the devil wants to use to scatter their marriage. We are to walk through our differences allowing God to mature us.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse and my sin covers his/her flaws
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me enjoy the wife of my youth
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:2 GNB Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study your spouse and learn to accept your differences
One of the foundational ingredients of a successful marriage is being under authority. By authority, I mean good authority because it is possible for someone to be under a negative authority.
It is good when your spouse has someone or people (not too many) that he/she listens to. The importance of this cannot be overemphasized. You should at least have a spiritual authority figure that can speak into your lives as a couple.
When you have questions or you have hot arguments, there must be someone you can run to, someone who loves you enough to correct your wrong and give you the right direction.
This has been the undoing of so many marriages. They have decided to live like an island. There are no custom-made issues in marriage. The problems in marriage are common to all marriages. They may come in a different flavor but basically, they are the same things.
You take the pressure off your marriage when you have someone you can talk to and most importantly, LISTEN to.
The person has to be considered a mentor because he/ she is considered older, more experienced, and more spiritual.
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Your mentors may not be your parents because it has been discovered that parents could be sentimental in their judgments.
You don’t have to learn from experience. Learn by the wisdom of your mentors. There are a lot of things we assume we know, but we do not know as we ought to know.
So many marriages are achieving below their marital potential. They have denied themselves their great destiny potential because they feel they can handle stuff by themselves.
Even Jesus had to grow, had to be subject to his parents, had to be taught, and had teachers.
I remember an issue we had a while ago. It was so knotty, it was as if the devil was ready to throw in confusion and disagreement into our home. Thank God for our mentors, it was not so much of what was said, it was their intercession for us that solved the issue.
So don’t be afraid of sharing your problems. Some think they have not solved their own problems before they are solving other people’s problems. That’s being childish. Is like saying a doctor is not qualified to help the sick because he has malaria himself.
A doctor is graced and anointed with the wisdom and knowledge to help the sick. Of course, if he doesn’t apply the same principles he is giving to the sick to himself, he will be sick and have to use the same medicine he is prescribing to his patient.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am humbled to listen to the counsel of my mentors.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY God give a listening ear and a receiving heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 24:6 For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counsellors there is safety.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Register for KHC Camp meeting
We change so many things in life. We change our cloths, shoes, bags, makeup, etc.
We even change our friends, change our cars, change our jobs, change our houses, change our location, change our addresses etc.
The one most important thing we should change is our mind. Our minds are so important. It dictates and affects everything we do.
Inside our minds lies the seat of our emotions, intellect and will.
Our minds are responsible for our thinking which informs our feelings which eventually informs our actions.
That’s the Bible says as a man thinketh in his heart so he is. Pro 23:7
If you don’t gird the loins of your heart or mind as the bible advise in 1 Pet 1: 13, you will allow all manner of junks in your minds.
We cannot allow our minds to be a refuse dump for all manner of thoughts to just fly into.
Assumptions that are not true or are half true.
The devil puts strongholds in our minds to gain control over our minds and our final actions. He gains control over our lives this way. Like you gain control over a dog you put on a chain. You decide where it goes and where it doesn’t.
Strongholds are strong arguments with evidences to back them up. These strongholds are like walls in our minds.
Bible tells us what we should do to these strongholds. It tells us to constantly destroy strongholds.
For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds,
1 Cor 10:4-5 AMP
[Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God;
and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)
We destroy strongholds, refute arguments, and lead every thought captive to the obedience of what the bible says.
All these we do by taking charge of our minds and being in control.
As married couples, the devil seeks to throw husbands and wives apart. He seeks to gain control and dictates what we think which is usually wrong. He seeks to destroy the unity and harmony in our marriage.
We should refuse him by not cooperating with him. That’s why we have to change our minds.
In 2Tim 2:16, bible says we should shun profane and vain babblings for they will increase ungodliness.
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In our marriage, we are to shun vain babblings of the devil in our minds through friends, families, our feelings etc. We are to focus on building our marriage and building unity and harmony.
Shun every arguements that have strong evidences. The evidences are so strong you can almost vouch for them.
Anything that is from base on love or that is not based on what bibles we should think on, don’t entertain them in your thoughts against your spouse. Choose to follow the way of love.
For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].
Phil 4:8 AMP
I pray God will strengthen us to begin to break every negativity in our minds that is standing in our way of being united as couples in Jesus mighty name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I give priority to meditating on God’s word and so my mind is renewed and transformed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to always keep my mind on things that are true, pure, just, and gracious.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Philippians 4:18, AMP For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY What are the wrong notions that you think you have about marriage. Go into God’s word to find out the truth about that situation
The faith of your lover. His faith is important, mostly because his faith will influence yours.
It is his faith in God that will cause him to have the fear of God. If he has the fear of God, he will never cheat on you.
He would rather protect you and care for you. He would have the wisdom to live with you and raise a godly family because the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
Never ever get married to a man who has no regard for God. It would be the greatest mistake of the century.
Perhaps, the Holy Spirit is leading me to write on this because someone is out there at the crossroad of a decision. Well, no matter how much you love him, no matter how much preparation you have made, no matter how much has been spent, if he does not have a relationship with God, pick your bags and bolt!
Run for your life. Preserve your destiny with your choice.
Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? [15] Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands?
2Co 6:14-15 (MSG)
There is no greater partnership than marriage. Destinies are wedged together. Souls become tied together. Afflictions are intertwined and shared. Blessings are shared as well.
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In marriage, there is a “knowing” at the highest level as love is consummated. The husband becomes the cover and the head of the family. God forbids that the head is sick, for he would only transfer the sickness. He can only give what he has.
God forbid that the head is foolish, he would only disseminate the foolishness and no more. He would make foolish decisions and it would affect the wife and the children, and sometimes, the children’s children!
The mouth of the foolish poureth out foolishness.
The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
Pro 15:2 (KJV)
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Knowledge flows like spring water from the wise; fools are leaky faucets, dripping nonsense.
Pro 15:2 (MSG)
May you not have a leaky faucet of a head, dripping nonsense over your destiny!
I tell you, as a counselor, that can be frustrating!
How beautiful is it, to have a praying man over your life, to have a man who is faithful to you, who will never cheat on you, not because he doesn’t feel like it but because he fears God!
Go for a man that fears God. Go for a God-lover! Go for a God-chaser!
It would put your mind at rest. You wouldn’t need to add the unrest, the suspicion, the insecurity, the disagreements, and the bickering that goes with knowing your spouse is cheating on you to your daily pressures.
Go for peace of mind.
Be blessed today and always in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry rightly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the right person for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 [KJV] And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
What makes a marriage powerful is not the living together of a man and a woman under the same roof. It is the sacred vows shared on the wedding day.
What makes the vows powerful was that it was said before God.
Many don’t even realize the sacredness of what they were doing exchanging marriage vows. A marriage covenant was enacted the moments those vows were said to each other and more so, God being a witness to the vows.
There is no marriage without an officiating minister conducting the marriage. In fact, the priest has to read the vows for the intending couples. The presence of the priest, representing God and doing the joining, proves that God is involved in the union.
Mal 2:15 [KJV] And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
Mal2:16 [Amp] For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate].
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God put a lot of premium on treating your spouse well in marriage. Not only is God against cheating but everything that is an appearance of evil.
Dealing with your spouse treacherously also means not having an understanding of your spouse’s temperament and love language.
God asks us in order to fulfill our marital vows to watch our spirit and let it be controlled by His Spirit. When we are controlled by God’s Spirit, we will not walk in the flesh.
Such things as anger tantrums, silent treatment, criticizing, shaming, conterminous your spouse will not be there. Rather we will look out and fulfill our roles as leaders (for husbands) and helpmates (as wives)
Even God recognizes the fact that it takes Him by His Spirit to help us. The marital journey can never be fulfilled on our own.
Seek God’s help in every area. Whatever is the peculiar need of your spouse, receive Grace to satisfy it. Remember, your spouse will always to the opposite of you.
Some spouses complain my wife/husband like Jeru trip too much, my spouse is too shy, my spouse is too slow, my spouse is tight-fisted, my spouse is careless, my spouse is too spiritual, my spouse likes food too much etc, the list goes on and on
Remember, God has equipped you with whatever your spouse needs, just as whatever will fulfill your own needs he will meet. You have what it takes to satisfy your spouse. Use it well. It could be demanding but do it anyway rejoicing.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my spouse rightly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to honor my marriage vows.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal2:16 [Amp] For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate].
