We have been looking at this topic building to last in marriage for some time now and I will be taking the concluding part of the same topic.
I pray and sincerely hope this message will bring couples to ways they can discuss this together to find their own way of implementing the points. There may be ways based on their peculiar situation, they could adapt the points discussed here.
8. Never talk bad about your spouse to anybody
Respect the covenant between you. Let no one be able to come between you. Don’t betray trust. Defend each other. Don’t fight with each other but fight for each other. Don’t fight your spouse because of any other person. Don’t give any other person the privilege of being more special than your spouse. It will backfire. What is between the two of you cannot be compared with any other relationship.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
9. Love jeru trip
Enjoy Jerusalem trips. It is pleasure to both of you. Never get tired of each other. Give yourself to one another unhindered
10. Keep the word ‘divorce’ out of your dictionary
Remember your marriage vows. It is till death do us part. There are no problems without solutions. There are issues, challenges but there are ways of handling them. We may not be patient enough or seek God’s face enough to find a lasting solution. God has promised us a way of escape.
Jesus said in John 14:6, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life
Have a bulldog approach to your marriage. Whatever happens, God can restore and make all things new. That doesn’t mean staying in an abusive relationship and environment. Seek all the help you can get for your marriage to be better.
11. Understand each other’s love language
Your love language is like your native mother language, you are most comfortable speaking it and have a free flow with it. Just like you speak the language your spouse understands, you must be willing to learn and understand your spouse’s love language. Don’t insist on your own way of expressing love.
Try to please your spouse. Do whatever he/ she likes and best expresses that you love and care for him/her.
It is either it is gifts, words, touch, actions, or quality time. If it is words, learn to speak tender and kind words to your spouse. Don’t be harsh with your words. Don’t correctly sharply.
If gifts, surprise each other with gifts, do this frequently.
If actions, help to do the dishes, throw the garbage out, wash the car, etc, just offer to do something.
12. Spice up your marriage with little gestures.
Surprise each other with gifts, kisses, and sex. That shows you are thinking of your spouse. Let your spouse know that you are still in love with them.
Kiss passionately, hold hands, cuddle and show public display of affection. Look into each other’s eyes when talking. Be deeply concerned about each other. Look out for yourselves and ask whatever may be happening to your spouse emotionally, physically, or otherwise.
May God bless our marriage as we put these things into practice.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to trust my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to show genuine love to your spouse.
When you are falling in love, fall in love with some life! Don’t fall in love with a profile on social media. You may be disappointed. Don’t fall in love with a picture! You never know who you are dealing with!
Before you give your heart out, be sure you see the person you are dealing with, or else your heart can be wrenched apart!
“Pastor, it is not just a profile, I heard his voice!” It is still the same hopelessness, falling in love with a voice. Who owns the voice?
The rule of thumb is simple, never give any commitment to someone you have not seen.
If he is not committed to travel down to where you are, or he doesn’t have enough money to come or he doesn’t have the time, then he is not ready for marriage.
I know there can be situations when the persons are far away, probably in another country, then get family members who are around involved.
You cannot just fix a wedding date with somebody in Brazil and then travel there. I cannot recount how many have called me to talk about the greatest disappointments of their lives upon emptying their accounts and resigning from work to go and meet a guy somewhere who eventually turns out to be mentally imbalanced. A word is enough for the wise.
3. Don’t fall in love carelessly.
Don’t fall in love carelessly.
You met two hours ago. Now you are in bed! That is not love! That is lust and you are going to be dropped soonest like hot potatoes! The principles of God are being violated like that and you are not going to have His support.
The purpose of falling in love is not to take somebody to bed; it is to take somebody down the aisle. Jeru trap with someone will never be able to prove your love. They are just not the same, otherwise, the prostitute will fall in love with all her clients, but it never happens that way. Fall in love with care and caution!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
A lovely day it is to once again look into our topic, building a happy and lasting marriage.
It takes a conscious effort to build anything. Jesus showed us how to build. He says we must dig deep and lay the foundation on the rock, on solid principles that are void of sentiments. Build with godly principles that will outlive the test of time.
Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. – Luk 6:47- 48
5. Be polite to each other
This is very crucial if you must build a lasting marriage where both spouses are happy. Most of the time, the husband’s ego makes it difficult to be polite to his wife. He feels why should I say sorry, thank you, or please. If he says it at all, he does so once in a while.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
If the wife mentions it, he says ‘I am the husband’. In marriage, we don’t take each other for granted. Later than sooner, there will be reactions. Respect should be reciprocal.
6. Always listen attentively to your spouse.
Make it a habit to always listen when your spouse is talking. When the spouse senses that you are not listening, it gives a feeling he/she is not so important to you. You must make your spouse feel like they are the most important person in this world to you because really they are.
Stop looking at your phones, iPad, laptop or watching the news, or reading a book when your spouse is talking to you.
The best communication skill you can develop is listening. Be quiet and patient while your spouse is speaking and you can now express your opinion. Look straight into his/her eyes when he /she is talking to you. That will make them feel you are interested in what they have to say.
7. Communication
This is the key to your relationship. Talk like lovers and friends. Most couples have lost friendship and some were never friends. You need to make amends where necessary because you can’t build a lasting marriage where you are not each other’s friends.
Don’t grow apart. There should be no fear whatsoever in expressing yourself. Deal with the root of whatever is causing fear. Ask yourself; am I easy to talk with? Does my spouse find me easy to talk with? Don’t answer yourself, ask your spouse. Don’t let your spouse guess what you are thinking about.
I will stop here for now.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
Falling in love is a special experience, or so it is intended to be. But there are ways to fall in love. The foundation to falling in love the right way is to fall in love with God first. God, Himself is love and when you fall in love with Him, He will teach you and help you to understand what real love is.
God is the lover of your soul and He is your first true lover! Any attempt to ignore Him is at your own peril to your eventual love life. Without Him, you will never be able to know how to love and how to be loved. Here are a few ways not to fall in love.
1. Don’t fall in love secretly.
I have said it many times; a godly relationship is not a secret cult. It is not a fraternity between two people. If you like yourself and you will like to protect yourself, heed my advice this day by the Spirit of God; don’t fall in love with a closed-up person.
Let your friends know about it. Let your Pastor know about it. The moment he or she insists that nobody should know, that should be a red light for you. Why hide something that is meant to be good news?
When I asked my wife out while we were students at Ogun State University (now Olabisi Onabanjo University) and she said ‘Yes,’ I announced to all that cared to listen! It was a joyful experience for me as a twenty-four-year-old chap!
I later got married at twenty-seven years of age some three years later in 1999.
Are you in a relationship where nobody knows except the two of you? Why would that be? The risks are high! The first sign of commitment in a relationship that is intended to lead to marriage is that the authority figures in your life will be involved. While this may not totally ensure the success of the relationship, it goes a long way to validate the relationship.
For those who are married, ensure that you are accountable to a particular authority figure for counsel and wisdom as you navigate the terrain of the marital journey.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I will fall in love rightly
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to get it right
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t fall in love secretly
We started this topic yesterday and we will continue today. Like I wrote before, I will take it slowly so that we can have ample time to discuss each point in-depth and we can meditatively make necessary adjustments in our marriage.
It is important that each husband and wife find time to discuss these practical steps. We have busy schedules but if we must build a happy and lasting marriage, we have to find the time. We find time for what is important.
Our marriage and family is the personal gift God has given us. He will ask us how we handled it and what we made out of it.
Let’s continue:
2. Be quick to forgive your spouse.
Marriage is two forgivers living together. Some spouses already have it in their mind some offense they can never forgive. Be quick to forgive and quick to apologize. Forgive and stop referring to past wrongdoings. Never go to bed angry or with unsettled quarrels because you have time to brood over it and the devil has the opportunity to magnify it. Love forgives. Learn to accept apologies.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Love the person you married.
This is as much an instruction to the husband as it is to the wife. You must love the person you married not the person you wished you married. This will eradicate all forms of the complaint. If you know you are married and as it were, you are stuck together for life, weakness, strength and all, instead of complaining and comparing your spouse, you will find a way to reach a compromise about each other weaknesses.
You cannot love the spouse you have not accepted. Love seeks to accept. Until you accept your spouse, you cannot get the best out of marriage. Accept each other but love each other enough not to leave him/her to minimize their weaknesses
4. Meet the needs of each other.
Be generous to your spouse and children. Let your spouse know you are on the top priority list after God the giver of life. Provide the needs of the children. Don’t spend money meant for the upkeep of the children. Your wife knows and is assured that you love her when you care for the children. There is a sense of security it gives her.
Provide for the needs of your wife. Your wife has a lot of needs. Be concerned about her needs. Spend to beautify her. Don’t hoard money from your wife. Discuss budget, savings and be as plain as you can be about money
God bless our marriage
May God grant us grace to do these things we are learning.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
