SINGLES – How To Be Sure Of Your Choice In Marriage
Being directed or led by God is the most important issue before marriage; when you are not led, it only leads to misery, pains, sorrow, and regrets.
My prayer is that you will not experience these. If your answer to that prayer is amen, now is the time to be sure that the person you are in love with is God’s choice for you.
Just because you are in love with someone does not give you enough basis to enter into a lifetime covenant with the person. It’s very easy to fall in love, all it takes is that person having all the qualities you admire, being physically attractive, spending time together, giving him/her a special place in your heart, thinking about him/her a lot and you’re already in love.
You’ll agree with me that it’s possible to fall in love with more than one person but only one person is qualified to be your wife/husband.
Once you have identified your spouse, you are no longer permitted to desire others, but to only admire them.
GOD then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man. The Man said, “Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh! Name her Woman for she was made from Man.” Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh. –Genesis 2:22-24 (MSG)
The above scripture shows that God himself was very much involved in bringing the man and the woman together.
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. –Romans 8:14 (KJV)
The question is, do you have God’s spirit? Are you born again? If yes, how are you working on your relationship with God? How consistently do you study God’s word?
What service do you render in a local assembly? How well you answer these questions will determine how well your spirit is developed to receive directions from God, not only in matters of your relationships but in all areas.
You must also make sure that the three aspects of you agree with the choice of your life partner.
Man is essentially a spirit; you have a soul and live in a body. Do these three (spirit, soul, and body) agree in perfect harmony.
Is there peace? Is he/she intelligent and emotionally mature?
Are you friends? Someone said friendship in marriage is about one soul living in two bodies.
Physically, does he/she meet your standard of beauty? Are you attractive to each other?
Go to any length to find adequate answers to these questions. Ask him/her a lot of questions. Find out where he/she is going. Can you fit in?
Is the guy a good leader? How well has he led himself? Can he lead you well?
Becoming sure is all about erasing every doubt or question in your heart about the person, the relationship, and the future. No one can be sure for you. Until you’re totally sure and convinced, don’t say YES!
Don’t tie the nuptial knots until all the knotty issues are resolved. I pray that God will send help your way in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have direction from God. In my relationship decisions, I am being led by the Spirit of God. I am not confused in Jesus Name. I will not fall in love with the wrong person. The Spirit of God will help me to be sure.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I destroy every spirit of distraction and deception in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Take me by the hand; Lead me down the path of truth. You are my Savior, aren’t you? Psalms 25:5 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Think deeply about your relationships and take an inventory
The word ‘blossom’ creates a picture of a fruit tree having flowers. It depicts a season when the plant has grown, increased, and now bears flowers, showing it will soon bear fruit.
A lady is always associated with ‘blossom’, ‘flower’, ‘fruitful’, which depicts their ability to procreate and of course, the beauty they possess.
‘Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house and your children like olive plants round about your table’. –Psalms 128:3
The scripture today is about a wife becoming a fruitful vine. The vine is an interesting plant. It is a twining; coiling tender plant that produces grapes used for wine.
It is interesting to know that a tender plant that needs support eventually produces the all-important grapes used for wine. You do not want to joke with wine. It is served at parties, offered to dignitaries, it is medicinal, it shows prosperity, it makes merry and it is always found during joyous occasions.
As a man, the lady you are married to has great potentials but you as the vinedresser or gardener have the responsibility of bringing out the best in her.
Now read this carefully. You will never find a perfect woman or wife. God will always give you a raw material, and you as her head and crown can develop her into what God wants for her by the instrumentality of God’s word, your love for her, a lot of patience, and a lot of prayers.
Am I shifting the ladies’ responsibility of productivity to the guys?
No. I am only saying that there is an environment you can create for your wife that will cause her to blossom, be more fruitful and maximize her potential.
Remember whatever she becomes, she will still be ‘by the sides of thine house’. That side does not mean ‘hidden’ or in a corner, it means right at the door. She occupies a conspicuous part of your life.
Married men, know that your wives are your precious asset. Accept her, love her and be determined to help her blossom.
Yes, she might be like a wild, unfruitful olive vine, but ask God to help you. God anointed you as a husband to make your wife blossom. You can do it by God’s grace if you trust and seek his help.
Dear wives, please submit to the leadership role of your husband. God anointed him for you so you can blossom. Until you are submitted to him, you will not be all you can be, your full capacity. Your submission to him is a lot of wisdom because that is when you can truly blossom.
I know some of you might be hurt and bitter over issues in the past, and you are rightly justified to feel so, but remaining in that state will worsen things and slow you down.
Don’t close up your spirits on your husband, forgive again and again and ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Don’t give up; rather, keep on trusting God for the best.
Don’t try to retaliate by opening yourself up to affairs. That will usher in more demons to afflict your home.
Always remember this, the wisdom you need to resolve the present issue lies with God.
I pray for your home this day that God will surround you with His love, you will blossom in Jesus name. You will burst forth with the full manifestation of your gifting in Jesus name.
Men, receive grace and wisdom to be the best that God has called you to be over your wife and your home!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am like a fruitful vine beside my husband’s house.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, I receive help to be all you desire me to be.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Thy wife shall be like a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house’ Psalms 128:3
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be deliberate about your marriage.
Yesterday, I established that the enemy often seeks to use the weapon of hurt to worth his threefold agenda in marriages. This is to steal, kill and destroy. No marriage is immured to the strategies and attacks of the enemy.
He will often steal from our marriages, kill and snuff out life from our marriage and totally destroy all that our marriage stands for.
It is a blessing blocker. When you are hurt, your heart cannot receive from God, get rid of hurts, and make sure your heart is guarded against any form of hurt that may arise.
If you don’t learn to handle your hurts the right way, it will lead to bitterness, which can lead to rage which can lead to all sorts of vices like murder. There is a right way and a wrong way of handling hurts. Make sure you are not a victim of the deadly poison of hurt.
Some wrong and unhealthy ways to handle it include:
1. Vengeance or Retaliation
This is when you allow the hurt to get at you so much that you act back based on the hurt. Retaliation could come in various ways, wanting to hurt your spouse back, or inflict pain.
2. Closing your heart
We have a tendency to block our hearts as a way of protecting our hearts from further hurts.
3. Rehearsing or replaying the hurt
We may also be in the rot of replaying the words or events that hurt us.
I know there are different levels and degrees of hurt. But whichever, we have a responsibility of guarding our hearts and we have a choice not to be hurt.
The best way to guard our hearts against hurts is by taking communion. Try it, it works so well. Take communion and plead the blood of Jesus over your heart.
Also, take authority over the hurt, and exercise authority over words that cause hurt.
Guard your heart against the effect of hurt using these two scriptures
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. –Luke 10:19 (KJV)
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. –Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
Anytime there is a quarrel between couples and there is an exchange of harsh words, you will do well to guard your heart against this hurt.
Even after you have made up and started talking, if not properly dealt with, you could still be nursing the hurt. Get rid of the hurt and don’t allow any root of bitterness to defile you.
Let your heart be void of offense, bitterness, or hurt; against your spouse, siblings, parents, God, life, etc.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I declare concerning my life and marriage, I have victory, the enemy has lost the battle over my life and mind. I refuse to stay in hurt and unforgiveness, Jesus is glorified.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name of Jesus every fiery dart of the evil one is destroyed in my life and marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Forgive and let go of every hurt today
I have often heard that those we love hurt us deeper than anyone else, especially our spouse. I had felt it can’t be that bad.
This world is full of hurtful people. I think the hurt is deeper when in marriage you hurt yourselves and keep on hunting yourselves unless you make up your mind not to hurt.
Hurt is a decision it is not based on your feeling. You have to make a conscious effort and decision against hurt.
Some people have been hurt for most years of their life.
That is what the devil wants. He is busy having a nice time stealing joy, peace, life, compassion, unity, and love from families.
The point is, people, your spouse, and those you hold dear to you will not stop hurting you but you have to make up your mind you won’t allow the hurt to get at you.
Hurtful words are spoken like the cutting of the sword especially if your spouse is choleric. You cannot prevent people from misunderstanding you, people judging you falsely, lying about you, etc.
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. –Proverbs 12:18 KJV
From this scripture, you can pray for your spouse, pray that their tongues become the tongue of the wise that brings healing.
Hurt is like drinking poison and hoping your neighbour dies.
That’s not going to happen. Hurts make you bitter. You can be bitter all your life if care is not taken. You will just see that sixty years of your life are gone without achieving much because of hurt and bitterness.
Let’s receive grace from the Lord. Jesus was hated, misunderstood, lied against, misjudged, and criticized, yet none of this affected him.
He choose to be immune to hurt. He kept His vision before His eyes. He choose between being powerful or being pitiful. He couldn’t possibly have died for humanity if He hated humanity. If he didn’t forgive on time He couldn’t go to the cross.
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. –Luke 10:19 (KJV)
Jesus knew we will be faced with hurt and he made provision for it. We have to walk in our authority over hurts.
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. –Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
You have to take charge of your emotions. Not even your feelings should be strong enough to stop you from fulfilling your purpose. You are only answerable to one; the one who died on the cross for you.
When you come face to face with Him on judgment day, you will have no excuse to offer. Jesus passed through the same and was victorious. He overcame and gave you the victory.
He gave the blood of Jesus, the Word, the shield of faith, communion, etc.
You have to take the shield of faith which is the Word of God. Anytime words are spoken to you that are hurtful, lies, remind yourself and confess out loud and use it against the wile of the enemy.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
Remember, to protect yourself against hurt and every negative emotion. Protect yourself God’s way. There are negative ways of dealing with hurts. I will talk about that later.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I declare concerning my life and marriage, I have victory, the enemy has lost the battle over my life and mind. I refuse to stay in hurt and unforgiveness, Jesus is glorified.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name of Jesus every fiery dart of the evil one is destroyed in my life and marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Forgive and let go of every hurt today
We used to hear this phrase a lot long time ago, but nowadays, we hardly hear such a thing. The world has gone digital, fast and every body seems busy.
Knowledge has made people to replace old values with modern ones. The question is does modernization makes our conclusions about marriage right?
The modern day view of marriage is contractual while the good old days view marriage in Gods eyes as a covenant.
Contractual view says, you do this, then I do that’. While covenant says, I will do this for you because I am committed to you. It doesn’t really matter what you do or don’t do’.
Marriage as a contract is always based on negotiations, convenience, and protection of self. Each spouse maintain their lanes and do what is expected. Otherwise, the marriage contact does not work and they go their separate ways which means separation or divorce.
In this case, marriage is not for a common goal. There is no fulfilling purpose or destiny together on view. There is no sense of purpose or God bringing the couples together to fulfill a mandate or an assignment.
All that is involved is ‘I am attracted to you, and you to me. We have a love connection between us and we are good to go’.
Marriage is for better, for worse. This is a little scary which brings with it a sense of awe. Two hearts and should beating as one is a mystery. That mystery can only be unraveled by the help of divinity.
Here, there is a sense of a divine assignment. Marriage is not just lived on their terms but on the terms of God, who is the covenant witness and judge in the marriage union.
Each couples live their lives following a particular road map created by the creator. That means there is a supervisory role performed by God.
The husband cannot just do whatever he likes to do, neither can the wife do whatever she likes or wishes in the marriage.
There are guiding principles, guiding both husband and wife. There is a race set before each one to run, and each one runs with passion looking to God for grace to accomplish his/her race.
Here the wife is protected as well or as much as the husband is protected too. Both husband and wife have a common father who protects their interest.
It is not based on human standards that the rights of the husband is protected above the wife. Where the woman is subjected to servitude.
Or in some cultures, where the wife is overly protected above the husband.
Marriage is indeed till death so us part.
May God grant us grace to do His will.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR TODAY My marriage is blessed.
PRAYER FOR TODAY Lord, help me to live marriage as you ordained.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Go through your marriage vows again.
