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SINGLES- Misconceptions About Relationships

Sandy has been frustrated over and over again. She has been involved in several relationships that kept breaking and she is beginning to think she is cursed. All her friends are married and she seemed to be the only one left. The more desperate she became, the more relationships and marriage were evading her. She has prayed, fasted, and cried, and she doesn’t know what to do again.

On the other hand, Ade had so many girls he sleeps with regularly, and he feels that is being a man. Sadly he is misinformed and confused. He fails to realize that he has been sucked into a cycle of sexual perversion with damning consequences and only God can save him if he is genuinely repentant. The more he did that, the more he frustrates and truncates the plan of God for him in this area.

Buddy and Angie are married but are not enjoying their marriage one bit. They got married without knowing the purpose of marriage, hence abuse set it. They are both well-read and educated, but unfortunately, you are not taught how to run a marriage in school. You are left with deliberate tutoring through self-development or through mentors.

So now, the question is “how do you know the purpose of a relationship/marriage is being abused?

1. Experimenting is not the Purpose of a Relationship.

You see, a relationship is not supposed to be an experiment. It is something you initiate deliberately and purposefully. It is an institution created by God, and as such, it should be held as sacred. When God began the marriage institution, he had something in mind. He was not performing an experiment, he was deliberately packaging a purposeful institution. So, the moment you do anything experimentally, you have moved away from the original intention, hence the consequences.

2. Pre-marital sex is not the Purpose of a Relationship

During friendship or courtship, it is the mind that should be aligned, not the body. When the body comes together in a sexual relationship before marriage, the light of God’s word is tampered with because of violation and confusion enters the soul!

One common statement you will hear from people who are compromising is “I am confused!” They know it is wrong, and yet they are held in the embrace of sin because an illegal bonding has been formed. It takes God and guts to break such.

3. Initiating a relationship while still hurting or bitter.

I have said it over and over again, you don’t begin a relationship immediately after getting off one because you want to prove a point or you want to get back at your ex. At that point, your reasoning is impaired and your definition of love has been warped by the recent experience. It is always good to take a break for about six months and allow yourself to heal. Wisdom says you should find out what went wrong with the first one before you dabble into another.

If you have had several relationships broken over and over again, it is not about a curse anywhere, it is just that you lack wisdom and you are abusing the purpose of a relationship. You don’t enter a relationship because you want the person to fill some emptiness in your soul. That is only what Jesus Christ can do by His Spirit! If you haul a job meant for God on a guy or a lady, you will end up frustrating that person!

After a broken relationship, take your time. Ask questions. Why did it go wrong? Don’t jump into the next available arms just to deal with hurts and wounds. When you do that, you will get hurt the more, because you have not followed the right process. Never ever try to give sex in order to get attention or love. It will never work that way. Young ladies, drum that into your head and carry yourselves with some dignity!

I receive the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the discovery of my purpose, my role, and the purpose of marriage.

Father, Lord help me to function with grace in the area of my calling. Anoint me for my calling as a husband/ wife in my marriage

We look at this Son and see the God who cannot be seen. We look at this Son and see God’s original purpose in everything created. –Colossians 1:15 (MSG)

Search every scripture on marriage in the bible to discover God’s mind and purpose for marriage.

Job 14-17


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