How Men Can Earn Authority in Relationships or Marriage
Yesterday, we started looking at how and why men are losing authority. We will continue in that light today.
How to Earn the Authority You’re Demanding.
1) Master Yourself First
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” (Proverbs 25:28)
Get your finances in order
Control your temper
Break free from addictions
Develop emotional intelligence
Take care of your physical health
Grow spiritually through consistent discipline
2) Serve Before You Lead
Find ways to serve your partner or family without being asked
Anticipate needs
Do the unglamorous tasks
Sacrifice your preferences
Put their well-being before your comfort
3) Become a Student
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” (Proverbs 4:7 KJV)
Read books on marriage, leadership, and emotional intelligence
Listen more than you speak
Seek counsel from older, wiser men
Learn from your mistakes instead of repeating them
4) Lead by Example
“In everything set them an example by doing what is good.” (Titus 2:7)
Don’t just tell your family what to do, show them. You want them to pray? They should see you praying. You want them to read Scripture? They should see you reading Scripture. You want respect? Show them what respectability looks like.
5) Own Your Failures
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)
Real men apologize when they’re wrong. They admit mistakes. They don’t blame others but take responsibility.
6) Seek God First
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
Your relationship with God must be your foundation. Everything else flows from there.
Biblical submission is a woman’s RESPONSE to godly leadership, not her obligation despite ungodly leadership. When you love your wife like Christ loves the church, when you’re serving, sacrificing, protecting, providing, and prioritizing her good, submission becomes natural. It’s not forced or demanded, it just flows from trust and respect.
It’s time to grow up, earn the authority you’re demanding. It’s time to lead like Jesus led through service, sacrifice, and love. The women are scaling up. The question is: Will you?
As singles and couples, many of us long for a deep, meaningful connection with a life partner. We may try to create this through our own efforts, strategies, and carefully planned timelines, yet often those attempts leave us feeling weary, disappointed, or uncertain. The truth is, love is not something we can fully control or manufacture. God’s Word reminds us that He is the ultimate author of our stories, and when we place our trust in Him, we discover peace and assurance that His plan is always good.
Scripture gives us this promise:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”(Jeremiah 29:11).
These words reassure us that God sees the bigger picture. While we may feel anxious about whether we will ever meet “the one,” God is never rushed or late. His timing is perfect, and His ways are far beyond our understanding.
Instead of focusing on what we lack, this season of waiting can be an invitation to deepen our relationship with Him. When we draw near to God, we are transformed into the people He created us to be—whole, confident, and ready to love in a Christ-centered way. Trusting God does not mean passivity, but rather an active surrender: choosing to walk in faith while preparing our hearts for His blessings.
Jesus Himself encourages us
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
When it comes to relationships, prayer is not only about asking for a partner but also about aligning our hearts with God’s will.
Through prayer, we can:
– Seek God’s guidance and wisdom to recognize the right person when they come into our lives.
– Ask for protection from unhealthy or harmful relationships that may distract us from His plan.
– Pray for patience, resisting the temptation to rush ahead of God’s timing.
– Request clarity on our values, priorities, and non-negotiables so that we pursue relationships grounded in faith.
When we consistently bring our desires before the Lord, we open ourselves to His peace. Even if His answer looks different from our expectations, we can be assured that His will leads to lasting joy. Love found through prayer is not built on fleeting emotions but on the steady foundation of God’s promises.
For those who are already married, prayer continues to be a vital lifeline. It strengthens the bond between husband and wife by inviting God to be at the center of the relationship. Couples can pray together for unity, wisdom in decision-making, and grace to forgive and love each other as Christ loves the church.
Prayer also helps guard the marriage against division and selfishness, replacing them with compassion, patience, and understanding. By seeking God together, spouses grow not only closer to Him but also closer to each other, building a partnership rooted in faith and sustained by His Spirit.
As we journey through seasons of waiting or seasons of commitment, may we remain hopeful and faithful, trusting that the One who holds our future also knows the deepest desires of our hearts.
Avoiding Bitterness in Relationships and Marriages
Bitterness is a slow killer. It does not always start with shouting or anger; sometimes it begins with quiet silence, a hurt tucked away, a memory you replay in your head. But as days pass, that hurt grows roots. And if left alone, those roots become chains.
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.Hebrews 12:15 (NIV)
Jesus warns us in Luke 12:58 to “try hard to be reconciled on the way.” It is a reminder that if we do not deal with offenses quickly, they become heavier, harder, and more destructive than they were at the beginning. What could have been settled with a conversation ends up becoming a wall between two hearts. That is how many relationships collapse — not because of huge betrayals, but because of small unresolved hurts that were left to fester.
So how do we truly avoid bitterness?
1. Guard your heart early.
Every relationship — whether friendship, courtship, or marriage — will come with offenses. People will say things they should not, or fail to meet your expectations. That is life. The danger is not in the offense itself, but in allowing it to sit in your heart. The longer you hold it in, the more it reshapes the way you see the person. What was once love and trust can quickly turn into suspicion and coldness. Guarding your heart means being intentional about not letting every wound linger there. Protect what flows from it.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23
2. Choose reconciliation over silence.
Many people think silence solves problems, but in reality, silence often buries them alive. And buried issues never die — they grow. In relationships, especially close ones, bitterness often comes from the words never spoken, the apologies never given, and the conversations avoided. Choosing reconciliation means being willing to face the discomfort of difficult conversations so that peace can be restored. Silence feels easier in the moment, but it only pushes hearts further apart.
“If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.” – Matthew 18:15
3. Forgive again and again.
Forgiveness is not a one-time event; it is a discipline. There will be times in relationships when you forgive for small things — a careless word, a forgotten detail. And there will be bigger things too. Forgiveness does not erase the wrong, but it stops the wrong from poisoning your heart. Refusing to forgive makes you a prisoner of your own pain, but forgiving sets you free to love without bitterness. Real love cannot survive without constant forgiveness.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13
Life presents unique seasons. Singleness and marriage are both gifts from God, each carrying its own joys and challenges. Whether single or married, no one can walk faithfully without the help of the Holy Spirit. He is the Comforter, Counselor, and Helper whom Jesus promised to all believers in John 14:26. His guidance ensures that we live wisely, love well, and honor God in every season.
Being single is not a waiting room for marriage but a calling to serve God wholeheartedly. Like Apostle Paul said,
But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 1 Cor 7:32 (NKJV).
This is a season to deepen intimacy with God and grow in purpose. The Holy Spirit helps singles overcome loneliness, guard against distractions, and cultivate godly character. When doubts arise or temptations feel overwhelming, He strengthens with truth and peace.
By listening to His leading, singles can make wise decisions about relationships, careers, and daily life. Yielding to the Spirit keeps the heart pure and hopeful while preparing for whatever future God has in store.
Marriage is a covenant that requires love, humility, and patience. No couple can thrive on their own strength. The Holy Spirit empowers husbands and wives to love each other as Christ commands. He produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control in the home.
When disagreements arise, the Spirit softens hearts and reminds each partner of grace. He also equips couples to pray together, raise children in godliness, and face challenges with faith instead of fear. A Spirit-filled marriage becomes a witness of Christ’s love to the world.
Whether single or married, maximizing the Spirit’s help requires surrender. This means daily prayer, studying God’s Word, and obeying His promptings. The Holy Spirit does not force His way into our choices; He waits for yielded hearts. When we welcome Him, He supplies wisdom for decisions, comfort in trials, and strength for obedience.
When Love Feels Dry: Choosing Commitment Over Emotion
Let’s be honest—love doesn’t always feel like “butterflies in your belly”. There are days in marriage when your spouse gets on your last nerve. There are seasons in dating when the person you thought was perfect suddenly looks very human.
Feelings are wonderful, but they are not stable. They rise and fall like waves. If you build a relationship only on how you feel, you will walk away the moment emotions dry up.
That’s why love is more than a feeling—it’s a decision. Real love chooses. It chooses to stay when the spark is faint. It chooses to forgive when hurt creeps in. It chooses to serve when selfishness feels easier.
Singles, don’t just look for someone who excites you today. Look for someone who can choose you tomorrow, even when you’re not easy to love. Ask yourself: Does this person have the strength of commitment? Do they know how to stand when life tests love?
Married couples, remember this: passion is beautiful, but partnership keeps you. Don’t wait for feelings to lead before you act in love. Don’t wait to feel like before you submit. Speak kindly even when you’re frustrated. Do the small things—help with chores, listen without interrupting, pray together. Those are choices that even reignite the feelings.
Commitment is what carries love through seasons. When the excitement dips, let choices lead. Because feelings follow actions, not the other way around.
A strong relationship is not one that never feels dry—it’s one that refuses to give up when it does.
P.S.: Singles, if your relationship is toxic, do well to run far from it o… lol
