Marriage is an institution created by God for a purpose. It’s one of the most significant decisions you will ever make. This is a world where emotions run high and destiny calls, but many singles still find themselves asking if they should marry for love or purpose.
Genesis 2:18 (NIV) The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
The scripture gave us a reason why it is not good for a man to be alone which is why it said He will make him a helper suitable for him. The gospel truth is that love and purpose work together and every destiny decision must have a strong WHY.
The first thing Adam saw in Eve was her beauty. He was blown away and immediately gave her the name WOMAN. When he was to name the animals that God created, God had to give the instructions, but when he saw his wife, his purpose to oversee, to be fruitful and to multiply began to flow effortlessly, which made him name Eve immediately. Even though he was asleep when she was created out of his ribs, he got her name at first sight and followed through with sweet lines.
Genesis 2:23 (NIV)The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
There has to be a complementation between you and your spouse that allows you to flow naturally in the fulfillment of your purpose with deep love.
So, leaving purpose out for love does not balance with the equation of God.
Here are reasons you should marry for love and purpose.
1. Love without purpose is risky
Love is a powerful force. It makes your heart race, gives you butterflies, and makes you believe in forever. But love alone is not enough to sustain a marriage. Feelings can be fleeting, and what happens when life gets hard? You will no longer feel the excitement you once had. When you make love a choice, your WHYs will reflect and you will be able to sustain better than relying on the feelings of love alone.
Proverbs 19:21 (NIV) “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
Marriage without purpose is like a car without fuel. It may look good on the outside, but it won’t go far.
2. Purpose without love is a struggle
On the other hand, marrying only for purpose, whether it’s for ministry, business, or societal expectations without genuine love can feel like a job instead of a joyful union. If you choose a partner just because they align with your calling but lack deep affection, your marriage may feel forced and duty-bound rather than fulfilling.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”
Purpose alone won’t carry you through the days when you need warmth, affection, and deep emotional connection.
3. Balance love with purpose
The best marriages are those where love and purpose align. Love brings joy, intimacy, and companionship, while purpose gives direction, meaning, and a shared vision. God’s design for marriage is not just about romance or function, it’s about a divine partnership that glorifies Him.
Before saying “I do,” ask yourself:
● Does this person truly love me, not just in words but in action?
● Do we share the same spiritual and life purpose?
● Will our marriage honor God and advance His kingdom?
God’s plan for marriage includes love, partnership, and purpose to work together. If you marry only for love, you may wake up one day wondering why you’re together. If you marry only for purpose, you might feel emotionally disconnected and unfulfilled.
It’s only when love and purpose meet that you experience a marriage that is not only joyful but also God-ordained. So, love and the tendency of your purpose fulfillment have to be found in the person you’re choosing for marriage.
We live in a world where standing up for what’s right can often lead to mockery. Staying chaste has suddenly become old-fashioned. Integrity is gradually disappearing from the body of Christ. I can only imagine the challenges Daniel must have faced from his people. They ridiculed him, laughing at his convictions and calling him foolish. They must have wondered who would reject the King’s food and wine.
Daniel and his companions were in a foreign land, victims of war. No pastors or fellowship coordinators were watching over them. No one would correct them if they strayed. No parents to guide or direct them in the place where they found themselves. They were far from home, far from their mentors and spiritual leaders, with nothing to lose.
Yet, the Bible tells us that Daniel made a firm decision in his heart to be different. He decided to uphold his foundation.
Daniel 1:8 (ERV) But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.
It all begins in the heart. As we’ve heard before, no miracle happens on the altar. If you are bitter and selfish as a single person, marriage won’t change that—it will just magnify those traits. If your heart is not in the right place when you’re single, you’ll carry that same misalignment into marriage.
This is why Proverbs warns us about the “strange woman” and the “wicked man”, those whose lips speak deceitfulness. This is why you cannot allow “hot legs” or “deep voice” to be your leading factor in asking for or giving a YES. What is the state of his/her heart?
There will come a time when you’ll be far from the watchful eyes of those who usually guide and encourage you. A season will come when, like Daniel, you’ll be in unfamiliar territory. The question is: when that moment arrives, will you compromise, or will you stand firm in your values? Will the wind blow you away, because of a weak foundation?
The most crucial element in relationships and marriages is perhaps direction.
Knowing who to date.
Knowing who to go out with.
Knowing who to get married to.
Knowing where to settle down.
Knowing what kind of career path, job, or business endeavor to pursue.
Knowing how many children to go for.
The list goes on and it’s endless.
The greatest secret of resounding success is the direction and knowing specifically what to do.
We know that there is a template or blueprint that God has for us individually and for our relationships and marriages. Plugging into this specific template eliminates most issues that might arise.
How do we get to a place where God directs our paths?
That is what I want to show you this morning.
Pro 3:5 (KJV) Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
The greatest enemy of having God direct us is twofold from the above verse:
~ When you don’t trust God with all your heart
~ When you lean or depend on your understanding.
The next verse tells us precisely what to do.
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Did you see that? Acknowledge Him in all your ways and the next thing is that He will direct your paths!
How do you acknowledge God in all your ways, especially in relationships and marriages?
Put Him first place in your life. Put His Word first place and honour that Word by reading and studying regularly.
Talk to Him before every decision, both minor and major decisions! Let Him be involved all the way.
When you include God this way, He promises that He will direct your paths.
As I close, let us take a look at that same verse in The Amplified Version:
Pro 3:6 (AMPC) In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
I pray that God will direct your paths indeed! He will give you the wisdom needed to be able to acknowledge Him in all your ways!
The fact that God Himself instituted marriage is enough reason that your marriage will be great if you cooperate with Him.
He originated and instituted it. It was His idea, he was the one who said:
Gen 2:18 (KJV) And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
God started the idea of marriage. It is wise to consult Him all the way! He has the template. He owns the blueprint. Forget about being romantic, go after His wisdom if you want to have a great relationship or marriage.
2. Go for knowledge
It is not enough to be a Christian or a believer, you have to go for knowledge in the place of marriage!
In schools, you learn, graduate, and get a certificate. In marriage, you get a certificate on the day you resume, and then the learning begins. You never graduate; you keep learning, and you must be open to learning and adjusting all the way. In marriage, you cannot insist on your own!
3. Get Mentors
Who is your relationship mentor? Who is your marriage mentor? This is important to avoiding the tormentors of life!
Those who have been married for several years have done what you are trying to do! It is a lot of wisdom to have somebody you are talking to!
Beware of an intending spouse who has no authority figure over him or her!
That is not a good sign!
4. Don’t joke with Prayers
The last reason I want to discuss today to ensure you have a great relationship or marriage has to do with prayers.
Pray very well and pray very hard!
Pray at all times committing your ways unto the Lord!
Acknowledge God in your prayers concerning your decisions!
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Dating discipleship is about seeing your relationship as a way to grow closer to God and each other. It’s intentional, faith-centered dating that moves beyond simple activities to a deeper spiritual connection.
2. Recognize Why Shared Faith Matters
Sharing a faith foundation creates alignment in values and goals. With God as your base, you gain a toolkit for tackling challenges together, helping both of you stay grounded and connected.
3. Set Spiritual Goals Together
Set goals beyond everyday plans, like praying, studying the Bible, or serving together. Spiritual goals, even in small steps, deepen your bond and align you with God’s purpose.
4. Work on Growth Together
Challenges will come, but a shared faith gives you the resources to handle them. Communicate openly, respect each other’s journeys, and seek guidance from mentors for a grounded, faith-based approach.
5. Enjoy Faith with Fun
Balance spiritual growth with fun! Try daily devotions, worship together, or celebrate small faith milestones to keep things light and enjoyable as you build spiritual unity.
6. Face Real Challenges Faithfully
When conflicts arise, address them with honest communication, pray together, and seek outside perspectives from a mentor or pastor. Faith offers peace and patience to work through hard times.
7. Build a Faith-Based Community
Surround yourself with supportive friends, small groups, or couples’ retreats. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that community can strengthen faith, providing encouragement and accountability.
8. Cultivate a Faith-Focused Culture in Your Relationship
Practice gratitude, talk about spiritual experiences, and create simple faith-based traditions, like weekly prayer or sharing reflections, to make faith a natural part of your relationship.
9. Envision the Long Term
If marriage is the goal, use dating discipleship to build a foundation. Discuss future visions for family, finances, and ongoing faith growth, setting up a lifetime of shared values.
10. Embrace Dating Discipleship as a Lifelong Journey
Dating discipleship isn’t about perfection. It’s a journey of faith, growth, and love. Stay true to your faith, enjoy the journey, and keep building a relationship that reflects God’s love.
Dating discipleship transforms your relationship into a spiritual journey, helping you grow closer to God while nurturing the love for each other.
