Connection Between Individual Progress and Marital Success
Growth signifies life. Stagnant water stinks. If you are not growing, you are dying. It is high time we prioritize our individual growth journey if we desire to see growth in our relationships and marriages. Everyone is born a clean slate, naive. As we begin to take our personal growth seriously, we start to develop skills and mature in who we are.
A lot of crises in relationships and marriages are due to knowledge gaps between couples. We don’t have to make any effort to grow chronologically. All we need for such growth is food, all other things being equal. However, the growth that leads to transformational change is not automatic. It requires effort, consistency, and sacrifices.
I told a friend the other day that I wondered what I had been doing all my younger years when I had time. There is so much to learn in every aspect of our lives that it seems 24 hours is not enough. If you are not growing, you cannot be excused. You have to make efforts and plan to grow.
The Bible says in Genesis 2:24:
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
There is a leaving, a cleaving, and becoming one flesh. All these processes require learning, unlearning, and relearning. It takes personal growth to know what you are “leaving” to “cleave” to, and you have to know the part you have to play in the process of becoming one flesh.
Your relationship or marriage cannot grow beyond the level of personal growth of the individuals in the relationship or marriage. Ask yourself this question: how many books have I read on relationships? As married couples, what books have you read about the different aspects of marriage?
To succeed in your relationship or marriage, you must take the issue of developing yourself seriously. There are different ways you can learn. You can learn through mentors, through experience, by asking questions, but the most effective and cheapest way to learn is by reading books. Books contain the experiences of others encapsulated in the pages, so you don’t repeat the mistakes they have made in the past.
There are so many aspects of your relationship and marriage that you need to personally grow in for the health of your union to emerge. If you prioritize personal growth, there will be some fights that will be eliminated from your relationship and marriage.
Genesis 1:27 states:
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”
God created us distinctly different by purpose, on purpose, and for a purpose. If the purpose of something is not known, abuse is inevitable. Our purpose in relationships and marriages has to be discovered through a personal growth journey. Nobody can do that for us. The growth has to be personal; the man has to grow as much as the woman.
Make a quality decision today to prioritize personal growth for the well-being of your relationship and marriage. The more you know, the better for your relationship and marriage. For example, knowing the differences between men and women is fundamental to how you relate to one another. It affects almost every aspect of our relationships and marriages, including communication, decision-making, and understanding yourselves as partners.
I urge you this morning, keep learning and never stop growing.
There is a personal responsibility you have, single or married. That responsibility is that there are certain decisions you must make in your life all by yourself. Your parents can’t make that decision for you. Your fiance can’t do it for you. Not even your spouse can take that responsibility on your behalf.
Take a look at the scripture:
Pro 6:5 (KJV) Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.
Deliver thyself! The emphasis is explicit enough. You are the one that will deliver yourself from anytime that looks like a trap.
What is the lust that draws you away?
Jas 1:14 (KJV) But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
When you identify that list or weakness, the you have identified the power behind the trap of the hunter, and then you can easily deliver yourself.
The Amplified Bible puts it this way:
Jas 1:14 (AMPC) But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions).
You are always baited by something that is consistent. That is the power behind the trap. The scripture says, deliver yourself!
In other words, don’t put the responsibility on God!
God said this is something you have to do yourself. Make up your mind not to cooperate with the traps of the enemy over your soul.
Don’t live in pretense, and don’t live in denial.
Another translation says you should run!
Pro 6:5 (MSG) Run like a deer from the hunter, fly like a bird from the trapper!
God will not help you to run. You have to do the running away!
You already know the “lust” or the weakness, don’t you?
Run away from it and you would have delivered yourself.
Everywhere was dark. The eerie blackness of the darkness was so real you could almost cut it with a knife. As Betty navigated her way back to the house, the scary moments of horror stories she had read growing up gnawed at her face.
The zombies in the movies crawled behind her. She could hear their footsteps, or so she thought! Fear and trepidation wrapped their fearful arms around her, and she began to shake and fidget as she walked. She stumbled and nearly fell because she could not see anything.
She prayed that the light would be restored. The streetlight had been faulty for over two weeks.
As she strolled on in fear, the light came on! She was elated! Her joy knew no bounds. Immediately, she looked back and saw there was nothing following her! She was happy! The restored light made a lot of difference.
As she strolled on, she remembered the scripture that best explained the moment.
Psa 18:28 (KJV) For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.
Wow! What darkness is around your relationship or marriage right now? Are you navigating through the complexities of modern Christian dating, seeking divine guidance in your courtship? God will light your candle!
That scripture uses the phrase “my darkness!” Has there been so much darkness in your relationship that it has become a personal struggle? Perhaps you’re facing challenges in communication, trust, or maintaining spiritual intimacy in your marriage.
Well, I have good news for you. God will enlighten your darkness. “Your darkness” will become “your light!” God will show you ways to reignite the spark in your Christian marriage and show you faith-based advice on balancing love and commitment!
I love the Message Translation.
Psa 18:28 (MSG) Suddenly, GOD, you floodlight my life; I’m blazing with glory, God’s glory!
Your life will be floodlighted! You will blaze with God’s glory! Whatever is hidden and shrouded in darkness, there is light in the name of Jesus!
Receive light in your relationship! God will show you the secrets to a happy, godly marriage and the keys to overcoming common relationship issues with biblical wisdom.
Receive light in your finances! God will open your eyes to biblical principles of financial stewardship that will transform your marriage and family life.
Darkness flees away from your life in Jesus’ name! Light becomes your lot in Jesus’ name! It is a promise from God’s word, and that promise will become your reality!
Good morning dear one! So, you’re still flying solo, and it’s awesome. But ever wondered what all those people in married life are experiencing and learning? Well, here is a little insight into what marriage teaches you that might just leave you amazed.
1. Love Isn’t Just a Feeling. It’s an Action Movie
Yes, you must have heard about love. And you probably think you know pretty much about the subject… But in marriage, it’s like the action edition packed.
You don’t just say, “I love you” when everything is cool. You show it when things are going real and getting hot!
Ephesians 5:25 talks of loving as Christ loved the Church. That is hard-core, love in action, not when it feels right, but especially when it is painful and you don’t feel like it!
2. Forgiveness: A Compulsory Course You Can’t Carry Over!
Harboring grudges? That is not part of a good habit! Married people learn super quick that forgiveness isn’t just being nice; it’s pretty much a must. Marriage is a union of two forgivers! As it says in Colossians 3:13, forgive as the Lord forgave you. It’s about dropping that baggage and moving forward, together. It’s relieving yourself from emotional prison.
3. Two Heads Are Better Than One
I am not talking about a two-headed monster. Have you ever tried to solve a problem with a friend rather than by yourself? It’s usually quite easier, right? That’s the deal with marriage: you’ve got a partner in crime (the good kind!). Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 nails it. Two can do way more. When one falls, there is somebody to lift him. That is a divine partnership!
4. Not Just The Moment
Marriage makes you think long-term, way past the latest trends, or your Instagram feed. It’s all about building something that lasts. Something of meaning. What married folk get to see, time and time again, are front rows of what matters: love, family, faith, and making a difference. It’s about the big picture, not just the flashy moments.
Marriage has its lessons, and being single comes with its lessons, too. Keep learning all you can learn as singles and couples. Never stop investing in your relationship and marriage! When family life collapses, it affects every other area! Invest in your relationship and marriage today!
I have a message from the Lord for anyone willing to believe in His word. I don’t know who you are or where you are, but you’re about to give up on your marriage. You feel tired and lack the strength to continue. In your relationship, despite God indicating that he or she is the right person for you, things seem to be faltering. Perhaps you’ve heard God’s guidance but are losing faith, wondering when circumstances will improve and when you will transition from scarcity to abundance.
I am here to proclaim God’s word to you: your relationship or marriage is not dead. This echoes the words of Jesus in the book of Luke, chapter 8.
Luke 8:51-53 KJV: [51] And when he came into the house, he allowed no one to enter except Peter, James, John, and the parents of the young girl. [52] Everyone mourned and wept for her, but he said, “Do not weep; she is not dead, but sleeping.” [53] And they ridiculed him, knowing she was dead.
In this passage, we see Jesus summoned by Jairus to heal his dying daughter. It’s important to seek God’s presence when facing challenges. When Jesus was en route to Jairus’ home, a servant reported the girl’s death, questioning the need to trouble the Master further.
Yet, Jesus, the giver of life, declared, “Do not weep; she is not dead but sleeping.
The marriage causing you distress is not dead but sleeping, according to Jesus. He defines any situation as He sees fit. I do not advocate for separation or divorce, though it may be the best solution in some cases where the partners are unwilling to make the marriage work.
Jesus asserts that your marriage or relationship is not dead. Do not label as dead what Jesus calls sleeping. I recall a time when my fiance (now my husband) and I experienced a brief separation lasting about two hours due to an unresolved argument. He suggested we part ways, and we did, losing our peace in the process. However, we couldn’t end our relationship because Jesus declared, “Your relationship is not dead but sleeping.” Indeed, our relationship did not die; it merely slept for a few hours.
Jesus can intervene in your relationship and marriage. Trust in Him and His word, and you will testify that nothing perishes in Jesus’ hands.
